From Charles Paul Freund, Reason, February 2005
Blogging promises its more ambitious practicioners a chance to influence multitudes. For some there may even be a measure of renown. But as they begin to reach audiences comparable to those of traditional journalists, bloggers are also finding that they face some of traditional journalist’s problems.
Repressive governments figured out fairly quickly that weblogs could be as threatening as the conventional press. In recent months, in addition to arresting several reporters, Iran’s fundamentalist regime has blocked access to hundreds of dissident blogs and other political sites.
Now come threats of murder from equally repressive freelancers. An Iranian-Canadian blogger named Hossein Derakhshan wrote in November that the blog Islamic Army “has threaten [sic] a big list of Iranian blogger [sic] for their ‘insults’ to Allah, Prophet Mohammad and other Shia Imams.” Derakhshan, who maintains blogs in English and Farsi, noted that Islamic Army has “picked particular posts from my Persian blog, in which they think I’ve insulted the God, and other sacred concepts of Islam and therefore, quoting from a Quranic verse, I deserve to be killed.”
There are many names on the threat list, but Derakhshan is at the top. Although he writes from the seeming safety of Canada, incidents such as the brutal murder of Dutch filmmaker Theo Van Gogh in Amsterdam by an Islamist extremist suggest his concern is warranted.
Still, Derakhshan isn’t sure if the threat is serious. He even asked his readers, “What do you think?” Most of them suggested he go to the Mounties.
Or, if that fails, move to Colorado and get yourself a concealed carry license. Then, when some zealous fanatic working for Allah approaches you on the street with designs on pinning a religious proclamation to your chest with a hunting knife blade, you can address his concerns instantly with a nice centermass grouping to the chest. In the shape of peace sign, of course.
And when he does so, he might do well to punctuate the moment with some Samuel L. Jacksonesque monologue:
“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men…”
I suppose it would have to be something from the Quran, though.
Hmm. I think initially it would be exciting to know that at any moment some jihadist could jump out at you, requesting a duel to the death. But I guess it would be mostly harrowing becuase those guys usually don’t duel to the death; they just strap on dynamite bandaleros and lay on you.
Here in Appalachia we prefer head shots – ‘cause shank’s right, you never know when a round might set off one-a them dynamite vests them boys are so fond of. ‘Sides, it makes a right pretty pink mist.
Keyword “lead” – damn, that thing’s good.
You’re right about the move to Colorado! We’ve spent billions registering all our guns, but now no one can find them. (I keep mine in my bra.)
[keyword “front” unbelievable!]
We have concealed carry in Ohio now. What I want to know is 9mm or .40 or .45?
It’s .38, .22, .36
Islamists call Allah “The Lord” and attack with hunting knives?
I think you have mixed something.
Time for photos, Diana.
BUNS . OF . STEEL
Diana, in your bra? how quaint. I keep mine in my lil baby blue garter, inside the leg where it doesn’t show.
Only works with skirts though.
If wearing jeans you have to use the thong holster.
*this was an evil twin post*
Always best to keep ‘em guessing!
an-ti—ci—pation is SO invigorating… dontchathink?
[keyword “bed” evil Jeff”
Bethides .. my thong didn’t make it to the NYT bethst theller listht!
.. it’s really hard to be phonetically correct when you’re writing this shit!
Robert, the .40 S&W is a good choice but the .45 ACP does work.
IMHO, You can’t beat a .45ACP fired from A Colt 1911A, but Springfield Armory makes a great one and Kimber makes one better than that. Pure man/woman/crackhead/Islamofacist stopping power.
.50 BMG—of course, the 75-pound stainless steel wrist brace is a little conspicuous…
Size doesn’t matter.
I guess I am at an advantage surrounded by several thousand guys (all ready for Islamist fanatics) in armor, with M-16s, M-9s, M-4s, M-2s, M-249s, MK-19s, etc., etc. Of course, I shan’t bring them back to the States when I redeploy – I couldn’t think of a way to conceal and carry an entire Brigade sized Task Force.
I bet target practice with you is really interesting, Sparkle. You must be using those ‘no snag’ sights …
Joe, if your referring to pantyhose,uhh..no. They are an abomination. I just prefer tanned legs. (The garter is for the gun only)
Couldn’t you sneak an M-19 in a spare coat pocket for me, John?
Diana–
Is that a gun in your bra or do I just need to crank up the thermostat a few degrees?