19 Replies to “The “I tried to write a country & western song, but I gave up after a few lines” post”

1. Rightwingsparkle says:

   September 20, 2004 at 10:59 pm

   This from a guy who can come up with nipples that cut glass and can talk and dry humping a rubicon cube. You can’t come up with a country music song???? I’m……disappointed

2. Rightwingsparkle says:

   September 20, 2004 at 11:04 pm

   If you need some inspiration. Heres some lyrics from a REAL country song thats on the radio as we speak.
   
   “Remember when a hoe was a hoe, a coke was a coke, a screw was a screw… and when you said “I’m down with that.” It meant you had the flu.”

   I am SO not kidding…

3. ter0 says:

   September 20, 2004 at 11:24 pm

   Mama, prison, trains, rain—you know…regular stuff.

4. Silicon Valley Jim says:

   September 20, 2004 at 11:28 pm

   New age country lyrics (Reilly and Maloney):

   He’s a Palo Alto cowboy,
   
   And he rides the open range,
   
   From the silicon valley
   
   To the Los Altos interchange.
   
   He’s got thirteen years of college.
   
   His buddies call him ‘Doc’.
   
   He’s a walking book of knowledge,
   
   The fastest wrangler on the block.

5. Joe says:

   September 20, 2004 at 11:35 pm

   Don’t encourage him or he’ll try rap next. *shudder*

6. Scott P says:

   September 20, 2004 at 11:41 pm

   Some more key words that might help you punch up that second verse:

   Boots, hats, rifle, lonely and heart.  ‘Cause it’s really cool the way they sing “aHhhhhhhAaaarrrtttttT”.

7. Rightwingsparkle says:

   September 21, 2004 at 12:00 am

   I art?

8. SarahW says:

   September 21, 2004 at 12:45 am

   All it needs is a twist in the chorus.
   
   And you singing in that hat with the bug on it.

9. Joel (No Pundit Intended) says:

   September 21, 2004 at 1:41 am

   Man, I am SO not talking to any of you!

10. dorkafork says:

    September 21, 2004 at 1:42 am

    I like the “Beverly Hillbillies”-esque last line.

    Come listen to a story about a man named Jeff
    
    Internet blogger, always beatin’ on the left
    
    Then one day he was interviewin’ food…
    
    When from behind the couch came some sort of Quaalude.

    Red pill, that is.  Penguins.  Pea coats.

11. Rightwingsparkle says:

    September 21, 2004 at 1:46 am

    dorkafork, (interesting name, a disguise I’m thinking)
    
    THAT was funny!!!

12. SarahW says:

    September 21, 2004 at 2:31 am

    I was going to say Jeff was the Earl Scruggs of blogging, but now you are, dorkafork.

13. Jeff Goldstein says:

    September 21, 2004 at 2:33 am

    Oh, I can pick it, honey.  Make no mistake.

14. Daniel says:

    September 21, 2004 at 2:36 am

    “I’d Rather Have a Bottle In Front of Me Than a Frontal Lobotomy”.

    True song title.

15. Alan S. says:

    September 21, 2004 at 3:05 am

    Lester Flatt. And stuff. Pickin’ an’ grinnin’.

    Heh.

16. McGehee says:

    September 21, 2004 at 3:12 am

    I was strung out the day my accountant got out of prison
    
    So I went to pick him up in the smog
    
    But before I could get to the subway in my SUV
    
    He got kicked to death by a hippie wearing clogs

    (David Allan Coe is going to hunt me down and kill me. Steve Goodman, on the other hand, is laughing his head off.)

17. dorkafork says:

    September 21, 2004 at 4:20 am

    (=)–#

18. Jeff Goldstein says:

    September 21, 2004 at 4:30 am

    You got a purty mouth.

19. Silicon Valley Jim says:

    September 21, 2004 at 4:39 pm

    “(David Allan Coe is going to hunt me down and kill me. Steve Goodman, on the other hand, is laughing his head off.)”

    If Steve’s laughing his head off, he’s not doing it here on earth.  He died twenty years ago yesterday.  He would have been fifty-eight this Saturday.

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