Beets. Millions of beets—each one sleeping the dirt-caked slumber of a benign and edible root. But I fear the nightfall…
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
Sort of a Tubular Hell, in that old field.
I’m thinking that you might be like Rush and update some of us newbies on the origins of some of your phrases, red pills, bunnies, the apple discussions…ect.
Sleep softly, beet-man.
Harvest isn’t until next month.
Rush talks about red pills, bunnies, apples, and beets?
RWS —
Just do a site search for red pills, McIntosh apple, bunnies, Scenes from my driveway, etc. All will be revealed (in reverse chronological order. Which, that’s really freaky, man.)
meanwhile, the Giant Hogweed waits
for the sun to photosensitize its venom …
Hey!
Did you know you can get downloads of “Conjunction Junction” and “I’m Just A Bill” off the internet. EVEN AT NIGHT!!! This fucking thing is amazing.
It’s like it never sleeps.
Dude.
Matt, well…only to me.
Mike, perhaps its time to do IMing
RightWingSparkle,
Is that “I-Ming” one a them martial arts?
You’ve been reading Tom Robbins again, haven’t you, Jeff?
Mike, hmmm….not sure if your kidding. BUT if your not. IMing is instant messenging. You know with AIM or windows messenger. You can actually type IN REAL TIME with REAL PEOPLE.
I was at the point of downloading 70’s sitcom hit tunes when I discovered it and it has helped me immensely.
Unknown Author:
“1974: Long hair
2004: Longing for hair
1974: KEG
2004: EKG
1974: Acid rock
2004: Acid reflux
1974: Moving to California because it’s cool
2004: Moving to California because it’s warm
1974: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2004: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
1974: Seeds and stems
2004: Roughage
1974: Hoping for a BMW
2004: Hoping for a BM
1974: The Grateful Dead
2004: Dr. Kevorkian
1974: Going to a new, hip joint
2004: Receiving a new hip joint
1974: Rolling Stones
2004: Kidney Stones
1974: Being called into to the principal’s office
2004: Calling the principal’s office
1974: Disco
2004: Costco
1974: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2004: Children begging you to get their heads shaved
1974: Passing the drivers’ test
2004: Passing the vision test
Just in case you weren’t feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at BeloitCollege in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year’s incoming freshmen. Here’s this year’s list:
The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1985. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.
The CD was introduced the year they were born.
They have always had an answering machine.
They have always had cable.
They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
They can’t imagine what hard contact lenses are.
They don’t know who Mork was or where he was from.
They never heard: “Where’s the Beef?”, “I’d walk a mile for a Camel” or “de plane Boss, de plane.”
They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.
McDonald’s never came in Styrofoam containers.
They don’t have a clue how to use a typewriter.
Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list. Notice the larger type? That’s for those of you who have trouble reading the smaller print “
Within the beets, sugar inexorably created to nourish cellular activity and growth. Then: movement; sunlight & warmth! And machines; a tractor & truck; a short trip over bumpy roads; a metal hopper; a cold bath; tumbling down shiny metal chutes; rotating blades!
<silence>
But the sugar remains. Separated, dried, bleached, and collected, it is reborn: a stick of spearmint gum. There it waits in anticipation, a cavity to cause. Revenge is sweet.
And Bill in CO, the the only thing more painful than the rotating blades is that it gets wrapped with Teresa Kerry. The cycle is now complete.
Thanks to PW, we are now in touch with the universe as a whole.
Sort of…
RightWingSparkle,
Okay, Lemme get this straight. I can talk to people by typing?
First, assuming you’ree correct, why would I do that? If I want to talk to mom she’s just down stairs.
Besides, she doesn’t have a computer.
Second, and this is where I think you’re whole “talking by typing” thing blows up: wouldn’t I have to know someone?
Checkmate, my friend.
RWS:
Sorry for the extra “e” and it should be “your”, not “you’re”.
I STILL can’t believe CBS let me go!!
I say they’re beets and I say the hell with them.
What is it with the vegetable fetish anyway. Everyone knows livestock are much funnier.
signed: Artie Choke (and I’m just a joke)