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Have denied having any interest in the Democratic Vice Presidential nomination, 2004

  1. The Chrysler Crossfire convertible, 2004 (w/ racing package)
  2. French’s yellow mustard
  3. Steel
  4. Former Oakland Raider quarterback Ken Stabler
  5. Genuine humility
  6. General George Patton’s vintage riding crop
  7. The Whopper sandwich (w/ cheese, hold the lettuce)
  8. Grand Forks Stutsman, North Dakota
  9. Long-term interest rates

7 Replies to “Have denied having any interest in the Democratic Vice Presidential nomination, 2004”

  1. Mamamontezz says:

    Oh?  Now I heard that Long Term Interest Rates were extremely interested on the condition that they could change from their current levels to at least 14%, points and closing costs not included, void where prohibited by law, not available in all states, check with your current lien holder for potential penalties.

  2. allintern says:

    And I heard one of the “Olsen twigs” was interested until she found out it would be a faux pas to just nibble on a saltine at Official State Dinners and then throw up.

  3. Kevin says:

    I think Hellman’s mayonnaise has a certain gravitas that French’s mustard lacks. But since Kerry probably has the condiment vote sewn up, given the “ketchup connection”, perhaps he should seek to widen his appeal… say, to desserts or even entrees.

  4. Robin Roberts says:

    Patton’s riding crop was misquoted.  It meant to say that it would accept the VP nomination in the spirit of the great Anglo-American alliance that was working to defeat Fascism in Europe.  And then it slapped a Swift boat veteran.

  5. Beck says:

    I’m pretty sure that no self-respecting mustard of any brand/variety would ever accept a job in politics.  And since there’s no such thing as a non-self-respecting mustard, that pretty much settles that.

  6. Josh Martin says:

    I would vote for Kenny “the Snake” Stabler.  I support a Lamonica/Stabler ticket.

  7. actually, i believe that steel was an early frontrunner, having had a longtime kinship with the heinz family due to the pittsburgh connection.

    however, steel was found to be too “rigid”, lacking in nuance, and unappealing to the european crowd.

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