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My second brief conversation with a McIntosh apple

me: “Not to be rude or anything, but I generally prefer the Granny Smith apple to the McIntosh.”

apple:

me: “The McIntosh just isn’t, I dunno… crunchy enough for me.”

apple:

me: “Not that the McIntosh is a bad-tasting apple or anything. Just that, well, I like the Granny Smith a little bit better, you know?”

apple:

me: “Because of the tartness…”

apple:

me: “And that crunchiness factor we talked about.”

apple:

me:

apple:

me: “Just so you know.”

apple: “Are you still here?”

12 Replies to “My second brief conversation with a McIntosh apple”

  1. dario says:

    Fuji apples are of course the superior apple.

  2. SS says:

    Seriously.  What the hell is going on here?  I feel uncomfortable.

  3. Matt says:

    Yeah, gotta second that.  Fuji apples are the way to go for crunchiness and tartness.

  4. Tman says:

    don’t tell the big Mac, but I just saw Red Delicious and Granny plotting his demise.

    Something about pie, apple peelers and electro shock therapy.

    Freaky stuff man. I never trust fruit, it’s just too dangerous.

  5. allintern says:

    Golden Delicious.  C’mon, it even sounds good.

  6. Joe says:

    The appropriate apple aperitif.

  7. Jeff G says:

    I didn’t include this in the post, but I followed up that last line with, “Well, there’s no need to be a dick about it.”

    apple:  “Go away, you’re starting to piss me off.”

    me: “Oh yeah?  Well I don’t give a damn.  How do you like them apples?”

    apple:  “Gee, how long you been saving that one up?”

    me:  “Applesaucy, aren’t I?”

  8. JFH says:

    See if the Mac was quick (as quick as, say, a Dell WinXP computer), it would have responded to your first comment with:

    “Whose CIDER you on, mine or Granny’s?”

  9. norbizness says:

    This series of conversations just has to violate some Geneva Convention, doesn’t it? I wouldn’t wish this upon my least favorite vegetable.

  10. Jeff G says:

    Now that you mention it, I’ve had a few similar conversations with brussel sprouts.  Which aren’t very sprout-like, if you ask me. 

    And yes, I told them as much.

  11. Beck says:

    Didn’t anyone ever teach you about comparing apples to apples?

  12. jcr says:

    yes, but which apple is the standard of the Abu Ghraib Catering Services Department?

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