Yeah? Well I’ve got your war on obesity right here, Mr. Doctor Surgeon General…!

This is great stuff. Fried Twinkees? Inspired madness, I say! And an indication that the pendulum’s already swinging back rapidly (well, with all the speed an oil-drenched and cream-filled spongecake can muster, at least) into the faces of the food nannies.

Perhaps we can compromise? To wit: “I’ll start with the curried tofu, waiter — firm, over a bed of cabbage and bean sprouts, please. With the arugula salad (poppy vinegrette on the side) and the wild-rice pilaf. And for dessert, I’d like the New York Strip — blackened, rare — a baked potato, and two of them fried Twinkees.

Oh, and do you have milkshakes…?”

When I lived in Ocean City, Maryland — a beachfront resort town on Marlyand’s eastern shore — one of the places I loved to eat was a hamburger / hotdog place called the Alaska Stand. The “A-Stand” deep-fried their burgers and dogs and fries (all in the same basket, I believe), and to this day, I don’t think I’ve ever tasted a better burger than a triple A-Stand cheeseburger with diced onions.

Because let’s face it: You could deep fry a severed foot and it’d taste good (once you managed to debone the fucker and put it on bun with cheese, I mean…)