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Why Nothing Should Ever Be Translated Directly from Aramaic into English [Dan Collins]

The Lord’s Prayer translated from Aramaic into English, rather than from Aramaic to Greek to Latin to English

O cosmic Birther of all radiance and vibration!
Soften the ground of our being and
carve out a space within us where
Your Presence can abide.
Fill us with your creativity so that we
may be empowered to bear the fruit
of your mission.
Let each of our actions bear fruit in
accordance with our desire.
Endow us with the wisdom to produce
and share what each being needs to grow and flourish.
Untie the tangled threads of destiny that
bind us, as we release others from the
entanglement of past mistakes.
Do not let us be seduced by that which would
divert us from our true purpose, but illuminate
the opportunities of the present moment.
For you are the round and the fruitful vision,
the birth-power and fulfillment,
as all is gathered and made whole once again.

32 Replies to “Why Nothing Should Ever Be Translated Directly from Aramaic into English [Dan Collins]”

  1. urthshu says:

    I don’t see no Hope and Change in there, so I know its teh bogus

  2. Sticky B says:

    Thank God for Greek, Latin, and English.

  3. Great Mencken's Ghost! says:

    Where are Dan Brown and Tom Hanks when you need them?

  4. urthshu says:

    This, BTW:

    Untie the tangled threads of destiny that
    bind us, as we release others from the
    entanglement of past mistakes.

    seems rather Essene in outlook, but is unnecessarily flowery in language.

  5. Dan Collins says:

    Very much, urthshu

  6. Pablo says:

    I sort of like this version, and now I’m concerned that we’ve long been fed a bogus translation. Just what I needed, an existential crisis.

  7. urthshu says:

    Well at least it ain’t in Norse! Those Vikings probably didn’t even have a word for ‘birther’

  8. Barbula says:

    Now there’s a prayer a Wiccan can get behind!

  9. Eric Blair says:

    New testament Greek is much the same. The Romans thought Christianity was a wacky new age cult, and they were right.

  10. Lt. York says:

    Ora pro nobis!

  11. Reminds me of the old seminary joke:

    Jesus asked them, “Who do you say that I am?”

    And they answered, “You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground
    of our being, the kerygma in which we find the ultimate meaning of our
    interpersonal relationship.”

    And Jesus said, “What?”

  12. ECM says:

    “The Romans thought Christianity was a wacky new age cult, and they were right.”

    A bunch of guys that worshipped a dude that would turn into animals to bang hot chicks thinks that Christianity sounds like a whacky, new age, cult? If that’s the case, consider me a Christian!

  13. C. Smith says:

    Huh? Irrespective of whatever was spoken, the original manuscripts were in koine Greek, no?
    Jesus is recorded as having written something on the ground at the scene of the woman taken in adultery, and nowhere else.
    Thus, while literate, He can be said to have been literally paperwork-free.
    Unless these nmazca folks have a previously unknown Aramaic diary…

  14. Joe says:

    Those Aramaics must have smoked a lot of really good dope. Do you know where I can score some?

  15. Bob Reed says:

    So, what Rosetta stone was this translation derived from..?

    Dan, what kinda Shirley MacLaine sheizz is this?

  16. Brock says:

    I like this version better. The line about unintended consequences though doesn’t provide much guidance on how to prevent them, does it?

  17. Ella says:

    I earnestly believe that God (okay, Jesus) never, at in point, in any language, used the term “empowered.”

  18. Mastiff says:

    I call BS. There isn’t a single phrase in there that corresponds to any of the typical tropes of Aramaic prayers that I know. Granted, the prayers I know are Jewish, but it was the same cultural milieu.

    There’s another version here that claims to be Galilean Aramaic, but sounds more like Syriac or one of the more Arabicized dialects; at any rate, the word patterns are more similar to what I would expect, and the translation looks pretty good.

  19. SDN says:

    The Romans thought that Christianity was a whacky, new-age cult”

    Until the Christians adopted the Rites of Mithras as the Catholic Mass. Since Mithraism was pretty much the Roman Army religion, that had a whole lot to do with the Emperor’s sudden conversion.

  20. McGehee says:

    My first reaction was much like Bob Reed’s in #16 — translations are necessarily informed by the sensibilities (or lack thereof) of the translators, often more so than by the text itself.

    So Mastiff’s link in #19 makes a lot more sense.

  21. Dan Collins says:

    I hope you guys realize that I posted this because it’s complete crap. If you think this is how Jesus taught his disciples (fishermen and such) to pray, you’d take economic advice from Deepak Chopra. I’d love to see what these guys come up with for the Sermon on the Mount.

    It’d be like #11, only with the multitudes saying, “Where’s our fish?”

  22. I’m sorry Dan, but you’re wrong.

    This is precisely what the third manifestation of Oprah said our Lord Elvis told her at the Sermon of the Race in America Speech.

    If it wasn’t true you couldn’t buy it stamped on a genuine gold-clad replica of a Morgan silver dollar. And yet…

  23. nk says:

    I like Roger Zelazny’s agnostic prayer from “Creatures of Light and Darkness”:

    Thou Who may or may not be our Father,
    Who may or may not be in Heaven,
    Hallowed be Thy Name if a Name Thou hast and any desire to see It hallowed ….

  24. nk says:

    And from the same book, the agnostic last rites:

    Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness. Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen.

  25. McGehee says:

    I hope you guys realize that I posted this because it’s complete crap.

    You? Post complete crap?

    That’s never happened! ;-p

  26. Sdferr says:

    I dunno as to complete crap. I mean, I heard echoes of a pretty funny Monty Python routine in there, for whatever that’s worth.

  27. Warren Bonesteel says:

    If anyone is truly interested in more about this translation, lemme know. I gots some info that you’ll be interested in.

    Let’s just say that the ancient Israelites and the Arameans were two different peoples with two different, but overlapping histories. The people we now call the “Jews” were actually from ancient Babylon. The Hebrew language itself is – and was – was ancient Babylonian. The Arameans were the true ‘remnant.’

    If you do the work yourself, you’ll find that the Aramean translation of the ‘Lord’s Prayer’ is the more accurate. The ‘Lord’s Prayer’ and many other passages in the Bible are also found in the much older Egyptian and Babylonian and even Sumerian texts.

    wrsteel@blackhawke.net

  28. joseph buzz says:

    I always wondered about the “lead us not into temptation” phrase translation. Why would the true God lead us into temptation….?

  29. […] TO SUIT OURSELVES– “Why Nothing Should Ever Be Translated Directly from Aramaic into English” […]

  30. Trenchant Commentator says:

    It was a dark and stormy night, and Melanie could not have known that this was the night she would discover her parents and three siblings – Joshua Tree, Sunny Sky and little Wolfgang Starchild – murdered in their beds following ruthless anal probing by space aliens with enormous glowing light sabres/anal-probers upon her return home from a really great party held at her best friend Tanya’s house to celebrate Tanya’s boyfriend Blake’s 24th birthday at which Melanie had been introduced to both cocaine and methadrine which left her really wired, tense, and distinctly not in shape to deal with a genuinely stressful situation like finding your parents and siblings dead in their beds with bleeding bums following their close encounter of the third kind with really mean guys from outer space with ginormous anal-probers and a bad attitude when it comes to human life on planet Earth.

    The door creaked open and Melanie stepped in………………

    You really don’t want MORE, do you?

  31. raxal walker says:

    Gurdjeff was right: greeks and romans were wankers… and even more so are their worthy disciples!

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