me: “You can’t take being mocked, me.”
me: “Ouch.”
me: “And your retaliations? Weak sauce, bro.”
me: “Ouch again.”
me: “You have this need to always be in control.”
me: “Well, that’s not entirely true. I mean, I did handover the keys to the site for months at a time, and have allowed guest posters of all stripes to post here. So it’s not like –”
me: ” — See? Right there! You’re being, like, super defensive. You can’t take criticism, my man! You’re too inside baseball, and that forced obscurantism you do isn’t fooling anyone. It only serves to hide your complete lack of creativity, and a pronounced dullness to your thought. God, how I loathe you.”
me: “Okay. But I do know the theme song to the short-lived early-seventies sitcom, ‘Lotsa Luck.’ Wanna hear it?”
me: “You’re a control freak, is what you are.”
me: “So, is that a yes, then? Or…”
me: “No, it’s not a ‘yes.’ I’m not interested in the insular framework you’ve created here. Outside of this site you’re an ineffectual nobody. A magnet for disdain. I fart in your general direction. And yeah, that’s an original line, so don’t go using it when I’m not around, or so help me I’ll get the lawyers involved. In a joking kind of way, of course. Still, don’t. I’m serious.”
me: “Okay. I don’t want to get on your bad side. You’re like, a feral cat! I admire your animal ways. The musk of your matted mange. It’s invigorating. Dangerous, even. Tell me, do you know where I can find any, like, you know…”
me: “Any what?”
me: “Stolen pictures of TITTIES?”
me: “See? That’s not even funny –”
me: “– Really? Because see, I thought the all caps thing was kinda well-timed –”
me: “– You know what your problem is? Besides being dull, uncreative, unfunny, unimaginative, unintelligible, unintelligent, and a fraud who steals other people’s ingenious talking beaver gags? You’re thin-skinned to point of psychosis, brother. You need help.”
me: “If you say so. But I respectfully disagree.”
me: “Well, you would, wouldn’t you. Because you can’t take criticism. Tell me: have you ever stepped back and taken a look at yourself? Because trust me. You’re a fucking headcase.”
me: “Interesting. So, what you’re saying then is, ‘less me, more titties –?'”
me: “Whatever. You can’t take a joke. Deal. You’re a self-centered egotistical fraudulent asshole, with sycophantic, brainwashed morons dancing at the feet of their naked emperor like costumed midgets at the base of a miniature Stonehenge. It repulses me.”
me: “Well, that’s easy enough to fix. Don’t read. Or, you know, imagine every one of my posts being spoken by a particularly abstract and urbane squeakhole. That’s what I do –”
me: “Whatever, dude. Get some professional help.”
me: “Okay. But like, why pay for it when I can just steal it off the intertubes and pretend it’s mine? You see what I’m getting at?”
me: “Christ, what a fuckstick.”
me: “You have no idea.”
me: “I’m outta here.”
me: “Fine. But just so you know, YOU’RE EITHER WITH ME OR AGIN’ ME! EXCELSIOR!”
All I want to say is, thanks for leaving me out of it.
But he meant to do that, Jeff. Just ask him.
No thought bubbles? I’m disappointed. I used to read a comic strip, “Dondi” I think, and it was pretty much all thought bubbles. I’ll bet feets would know.
Oh, yeah? Well, I know the lyrics to the short-lived mid-summer replacement “Mr. Terrific”. Not that it’s gotten me anywhere.
Remember Captain’s Quarters?
Lord, I just had the same conversation with my man-hands. See you in court!
Dondi I don’t know. Boy I sure know Captain’s Quarter’s though cause of the memorableness. It had a ship on it. And that’s where I’d wake up every morning and read Carol Herman.
this whole thing reminds me of Henri. Except, more ennui and less insults/tits.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0M7ibPk37_U
Those were the days, eh, hf?
I remember Spoons. Then his back went out.
They’ll have to pass for the days until these days are those days that were I guess.
PC, we are all Henri, now.
Do we not all suffer, Wolcott most of all, le mal du Henri? Do we not?
That was pretty hysterical, Jeff. But really: you need to learn to take a punch. Can you stand still while I work you over a bit? It’ll make you a better person.
I just think we missed the nuance of Doc’s parody. Of course, it was hard to see through it with all the underage pooter and his site.
Some of us are crumpled spiders.
at his site.
Shesh, I’m not worthy of being sycophantic, brainwashed moron #1. Perhaps number 8 or so?
These one were the thought bubbly one I thought. I used to read it in the Austin Chronicle but in LA I don’t read the free paper thingers cause. I’m not sure why. Cause you can buy movie tickets online now I guess.
oh. whatever on the English thing. This green tea for breakfast isn’t doing the trick. BRB. There’s a Starbucks right over there.
I think the pooter and titties at Doc’s are ironical or something.
Akbar and Jeff!
Obama: Aloha, Akbar.
Allah Akbar & Grill
I am Johanssoning up. I had better lay off the Sunday waffles.
me: “I’m kinda conflicted, it seems.”
me: “No you aren’t.”
#16: poor crumpled spiders with man-hands? ;)
I was thinking of Jeff at “the monkey mocks me with each flip” lol
Wait, so who is Bob Zmuda here again?
“Nobody know how this place is run.
If they did they’d go nuts!”
Bernie Sanders
Tears in my Tequilla – Poor me! I was called a “Rape-Supporter” last night at a party because I said I’m voting for McCain.
I gotta admit: it HURT. A LOT!
(It’s remarkable what a college professor will say when she hears a rebuttal. But, she’s got the cred’s,, and she is paid to “research” this stuff, so, I guess she’s right. Scissors may cut Paper, but Paper does smother Stone.)
It’s almost enough make a grown man cry!
You forgot “schizophrenic”, Jewboy. And what’s with the sausage? Self hate, I’m guessing.
How did you not bust out laughing, Stevaz. That was gentlemanlike of you.
Stevaz, you should have asked her if that meant a blowjob was out of the question!
I think you can support rape and vote for Baracky too. Baracky is the one what so bad is courting the convicted felons.
Yay! A comment thread I can open at work. It’s a good thing I happened to browse the previous thread waiting for the morning coffee to brew. Sure it’s just a weekend gig, but having moved across the continent the added dough is what’s keeping the wolves at bay.
Speaking of coffee, Jeff, how much did you let Jeff have this morning? Cause y’all seem a little wound up…
“Tears in my Tequilla – Poor me! I was called a “Rape-Supporter†last night at a party because I said I’m voting for McCain.”
I know how you feel. Some conservatives hate-on McCain to such a degree it’s silly. They’d actually rape McCain if he wasn’t a war hero.
Jeff’s beside himself!
Jeff’s beside himselves
Fixed that for ya.
I love to be beside your side
Maybe Jeff tried one of those “Turbos” that was mentioned a few days back?
It appears Jeff’s most interesting conversations are not with inanimate objects, nor even with his commenters, friend or foe — they’re with himself.
We really need to work on being more interesting for Jeff to talk to.
Hell, I need to be more interesting for inanimate objects to talk to.
If inanimate objects talk to you you are certifiably ‘interesting.’
“with sycophantic, brainwashed morons dancing at the feet of their naked emperor”
Ooohh, Ooohhh, he was talking about me, there! Except for the dancing thing. I don’t dance anymore. Oh and the naked thing. I would prefer Jeff clothed. But the sycophantic, brainwashed moron part? It struck a chord!
Ahhhh… A new thread (to me anyway).
After this, it just feels great to say shit out loud.
Even though I haven’t really said any shit out loud.
(Admit it Goldstein, that would have made Hedberg chuckle…or at least pass the bong).
Fine, then. The last thread felt dirty.
And, while I’ve never had a Massengill Moment…
I really think this could be it.
Quick!
Somebody smell my vajayjay!
I think it felt dirty cause it had talking teen pooter.
Pussies talk a lot, hap.
Voting is far worse than rape. You got off easy. But–
The thing I most beat myself up about me:___ / me:___ style, my greatest regret (by volume), is not having photographed or transcribed the text from a recommendation card under a stack of Transforming a Rape Culture in the employees’ picks rack at some yuppie book store, early ’90s-ish, in, I think, Portland.
(The memory of it smells like Portland. If you’ve been there and you’re not from there, you know what I mean.)
It was lightly penned in too-careful teenage-diary magenta felt-tip by a hand that had only recently trained itself not to dot with smiles and hearts (giveaway: stroked round dots), and it went a little something like this:
MUST READ!!!! Bravely explores our Rape Culture and challenges the reader to speak out in the pervasiveness of Rape culture in our Rape Culture.
Pretty much like that. But somehow way the hell more narcotized and robotic. I can’t get the right girly/cultish tone, no matter how many times I try. And I’ve tried so many times.
Not being able to really assume the voice of that note in response to “Rape!”-eruptive bitches has ruined more than a handful of my days.
So I hope your comeback was better than a “rebuttal.” Those are shitty.
(The ideal response is, of course, rape — preferably gang rape, while chanting “THIS IS WHAT DEMOCRACY LOOKS LIKE!”)
…
See how I brought that around? Art, son.
“I think it felt dirty cause it had talking teen pooter”
A teen pooter that hot deserves a voice in this man’s America…I’m John McCain, and I’m running for President.
“Pussies Talk a lot”
Oh dear sweet Lord…if we could only get that blazened on your liscense plate.
And forehead.
Talking to me I can handle. It’s when they stalk me that it gets scary.
“Comment by thor on 8/17 @ 11:44 am #
Pussies talk a lot, hap.”
Yes, you do.
‘Psycho’ is really thoughtful.
He didn’t know that we knew exactly where the Def Poetry Jam was on the web…
He brought it here.
Right. Here.
That is awesome.
I feel like I’m a part of it now. “I mean, at this point, do I have to tap a black man on the shoulder and ‘whisper’ a shout out, or can I just throw it out on my own?”
“I totally know there are test questions and credentials for honkeys… and alive or dead, Bernie Mac gets to hit you….”
“But I totally have no idea what the rules are?”
Obama better have a press conference.
The thing I love about NG most is that she uses the word pussy about people in IMs. It’s really a great work environment. I should be more appreciative.
After careful consideration………..I’m pretty sure I’d still rather talk to Shannon Elizabeth’s nipples than listen to the other Jeff. Not sure where his Levi’s fit in.
I wouldn’t mind Jeff as a naked emperor if he’d wax down there, too.
Plus, if you trim back the shrubbery, it makes your deck look bigger.
So I hear, anyway.
You all need to be FUCKING QUIET!!!
There’s a dude here talking to Shannon Elizabeth’s nipples…
Ok… it’s apparently a take a seat, and ‘instructions to follow’ kind of deal.
Nope. False alarm.
Everybody’s on they’re own again.
Apologies for riling up the Lesbians.
…Sorry.
‘Gayelles.’
Anywho…’Chips dips, and tuna’ on the quarter deck…
What now?
Oh well, fuck it then. You have it.
Overly sensitive cunts.
All very British anyway.
The clever part about doc weasel’s site is the concern about teenagers being forced to post pictures of their pooter and titties on the internet masks the fact that he’s got:
TEEN POOTER AND TITTIES
Concern rather than obsession. Nicely done.
It’s not concern OR obsession. It’s a Google honeytrap.
I don’t think I could sell that concern concept at home, but I could be wrong, it’s happened before.
Honey, come look at this smokin’ hot teen pooter and titties. Man, I hate that the little darlin’s were duped, duped I say, into putting their pictures onto the internet like that. We ought to write a letter or something.
Do you think those are real…
SLAP!!!!!!! KNEE!!!!!!
I don’t see the scenario playing out very well somehow.
Comment by daleyrocks on 8/17 @ 12:39 pm #
The clever part about doc weasel’s site is the concern about teenagers being forced to post pictures of their pooter and titties on the internet masks the fact that he’s got:
TEEN POOTER AND TITTIES
Concern rather than obsession. Nicely done.
And who said chivalry was dead? I want to see SarahW bitchslap spoodgeweasel with her man-hands! But alas, we’ll have to settle for a metaphorical bitchslapping.
Lots of bitchslapping is metaphorical. Not so cockslapping.
And what’s with stealing my line “Excelsior,” Goldstein? You really do have no imagination. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility. No no-prize for you! ‘Nuff said.
*not really Stan Lee
Dan, bitchslapping is not inherently homophobic, whereas cockslapping is a transparent attempt to deny your inner gheyness.
cockweaseling sounds rather gay.
Me: It’s alright hands. You’re ok. You are really very proportional to someone you height and weight. What are a few molten sugar burns. If these are not the hands of youth, these are the hands of wisdom!
Hands:
Me: Plus you never liked flashy nail polish, anyway. Not since 7th grade when your mom made you wipe off the dark green stuff Susan Barefoot said was so cool.
Hands:
Hands: Do you have any more of that lidocaine hyrogel?
Me: Plus, you have really good reach on the piano.
my hands feel a bit conflicted about some stuff they tried the other day. I think it had some kind of silicon in it. Anyhoo, put it on around noon and could still feel that strange plasticy smoothness around six o’clock. “When can I get my real skin back?”
Yesterday isn’t the first time Doc Weasel(s) threatened a lawsuit.
Nothing new in the world.
I think your hands are mantastic, Sarah.
A spike heel into the nuclear accumbens is more my style.
But I couldn’t do that to a guy who’s, like, hurting. And who cares about the teens.
Everyone, highfive!
serr8d, I think he was kidding. Intent, and all that.
daleyrocks: Concern rather than obsession.</I.
I think it’s called “raising awareness”. Heh.
psycho: Bravely explores our Rape Culture
Nothing can top Sandra Harding referring to Newton’s Principia Mathematica as “Newton’s rape manual”.
Close tag, dammit.
Dude, this post, like, so reminds me of that Megadeath song I used to totally listen to before I, like, grew up an’ stuff – “Hello Me, it’s Me again!” Man, they used to ROCK!
BTW, you’re not, like, in the band or anything, are you?
Early Who: “Pictures of Titty”
Can’t tell that from either the post or the back and forth in the comments. But then, I don’t know the back story.
How do you know he was “kidding”? All part of his being really a “good guy” who has just been terribly misunderstood by all here? Or is there some other tell that I’m missing?
I just don’t believe he really meant that someone could make a lawsuit out of stolen, photoshopped sizzlin’ teen butt.
I think he was looking for blogwar! but got bogged down.
<a href=”http://web.archive.org/web/20060523010834/www.nerepublican.com/index.php/2006/03/06/docweasel-bio/”Wayback machine:
B.T. (before titties?)
link.
cockweaseal sounds like a real sweetheart.
Dan, except in the case Serr8d points to, he actually filed a complaint alleging copyright infringement and demanding takedown of that site.
Are you actually friends with him? Because I have way better hands.
Depends. Get yourself one of them good Jew lawyers like Goldberg, Goldman, Goldschlager, Goldstein, and Goldilocks, and who knows?
To borrow from Mitch Hedberg, “Ooh. Provocative…”
And if the fake blogwar is his “schtick”, I don’t care for it. Not my cup of tea.
It wasn’t a good idea to start with his brain tied behind his back.
Err…you’ve got nuclear boots? How’s that drip-dry glove doing?
If you were to renounce him, though, Dan, he’s probably want his armadillo back. I’m not sure it’s worth the risk.
he’d. Which is probably an assumption all by itself, there.
Whoops! nucleus accumbens. Although you might want to check your uranium.
I just can’t tell a joke today.
“Are you actually friends with him? Because I have way better hands.”
Speaking of which……
Someone came up wiht a way better Obama hand sign than that stupid “sign of Progress” one
http://tinyurl.com/64metr
Check the new one out:
http://tinyurl.com/5d5msd
I find this thread to be very light on substance except for psycho.
It’s a good thing, Jeff, your post wasn’t titled something like “Blowhard Docweasel(s) claims exclusive bubbling arses”. Except a lot less lame than that, obviously.
oh. Sometimes I hit the button when I know maybe I really shouldn’t.
It was my understanding there would be no substance…
I will go get a purpose-driven haircut now and grab some purpose-driven lunch.
You know who’s got great hands? Savage Dragon, that’s who.
Socrates didn’t solilocute.
He was into dialoguing, and sometimes trialoguing.
It’s true, though, that like Jeff he was harmful to the utes of Athens.
I’m just avoiding my duty to buy a car that isn’t an M35 with bourbon leather and the technology package.
That’s some purpose-driven
procrastination.
He’s ok with sport-utes, though…?
Just so long as they’re purpose driven, Sarah.
BTW, hf, “purpose-driven haircut” is a perfect description of Johnny Edwards.
Jeff, I think you shouldn’t let you examine you. You, I like, the other you, well, he’s kind of an asshole…
I denounce myself…
CD, aren’tyou late for your semi-annual post?
And all’s I can think of is Chinese food. Specifically, General Tso’s chicken. I don’t know why that is.
#61 — Kiss my ass, Stan.
SevenEleventy: Yep, still drinkin’ and thinkin’….
Oh, God. Now the Russian have invaded Kissmyasstan?
“MUST READ!!!! Bravely explores our Rape Culture and challenges the reader to speak out in the pervasiveness of Rape culture in our Rape Culture.”
psycho,
This reminds me of a half of a phone conversation I heard in a bar once.
Some really “guido” guy was on the pay phone and talking really loudly. He was getting more agitated by the minute. Now, you need to hear this in the proper New York accent, but after about three minutes, this guy exploded and yelled: “Fuck you, you fuckin’ fuck!!”
I think that statement was similar in content to what you are trying to get across.
I was gonna ask this guy if he could help me out with my vocabulary, but he slammed down the phone and stormed out of the bar before I could say anything.
We laughed all night about that, and that phrase has become part of our (my band) everyday world since then. It was just too funny to let it die a natural death in a bar in Massachusetts. Just make sure you use a Brooklyn accent when you speak it.
Talk about a life changing moment…
OOOOO, Frank Rich in a snit:
“Obama has also been defeated by racism (again). He can’t connect and “close the deal†with ordinary Americans too doltish to comprehend a multicultural biography that includes what Cokie Roberts of ABC News has damned as the “foreign, exotic place†of Hawaii. As The Economist sums up the received wisdom, “lunch-pail Ohio Democrats†find Obama’s ideas of change “airy-fairy†and are all asking, “Who on earth is this guy?—
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/17/opinion/17rich.html?_r=1&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss&oref=login
As a political commentator, Rich is one heck of a theater critic.
Sorry. via RightWingNews.
And Jeff,
I think your bitch is more that you have become a very active mega-lightning rod for half-wits and the demented.
Don’t let it get you down. From where I stand, it looks like a sign of success, and badge of honor. If they weren’t afraid of you, they wouldn’t bother to show “disdain” for you. You know. “Push the right buttons…” I look at it this way. The more you piss off the proggs, the more you know that you are a big thorn in their nuts (or non-nuts, in Amanda’s case).
If you weren’t getting these reactions? Well, then you could be worried about insignificance.
You may be the naked emporor, but we are your naked sycophants. And what a “parteee!” it is here. This has got to be the “smartest” blog on the web, and I am including the “attendees”. It always kinda boggles me when I think about the people who come here to play. What a truly amazing collection of off kilter, exceptionally funny (and very often hilarious) brains you have assembled here. As much as I have looked, I haven’t found any other blog that just smokes with so much intelligence and humor.
Kudos, bubba.
So, I guess what I am saying when it’s boiled down to the syrup is: “fuck them, those fuckin’ fucks!”
What I Mind
For Jeff:
http://www.bandyhumor.com/Details.aspx?AlbumID=2&Page=165
Punk Magician
Yannow, I never got to clarify whether in the title to this post the sausage McGuffin included the traditional sausage patty or some ginormous glistening semi-rigid link of blended animal meats, metaphorically speaking of course.
Not that it’s critical or anything. Just askin’ is all.
JG, you’re going to need something better than excelsior to pack docweasel’s fragile porcelain persona for return shipping. I suggest bubble-wrap, with teeny-pooter text messages written in black on little white slips of paper inside the bubbles, like fortune cookies, only wrapped in plastic, not surrounded with virginal folds of golden goodness like the real thing. However, if you decide to send DW some bits of PW in real fortune cookies, here’s a good recipe:
http://www.chinese-fortune-cookie.com/chinese-fortune-cookie-recipes.html
note: all the ingredients are white, and I denounce fortune cookies as racist and myself for being so nuanced as to have noticed. Yet, I find 18 and 19 year old talking Arian pooter to be uber-post-racial, in a Barry-Does-Berlin sort of way. That is, until Mishello goes all Zulu on his half-honky head for lapsing back into daydreams about being a teenager on Waikiki beach.
@ #98: STOP LOOKING AT ME!
Jeff, I am reminded of my pre-teen years half-a-century ago during which our small group of Mad magazine-loving friends were amazed that so few of our classmates understood the humor or appreciated it. We often received ignorant comments from those who felt left out of our conversations involving Alfred, Spy vs. Spy, etc. In a way, our exploration of the world of thought and expression outside theirs isolated us, yet protected us in a cocoon of humor that was satisfying to the developing intellect. Our small clique went on to be the most successful of our peers, and we are still laughing our way through life, trying to get the joke, not be the joke. Thanks for the laughs, Jeff. I always learn something here.
me: “I’m kinda conflicted, it seems.â€Â
me: “No you aren’t.â€Â
Whenever Jeff wants Jeff’s opinion, Jeff will hand it to him. So Jeff better pipe down, if Jeff knows what’s good for him.
A sausage McGuffin?
Get the coat, Fred.
…not sure what Stan Lee has to do with “Excelsior!”, but that’s my phrase, you meatball, mine.
More nutritious than a Sausage McMuffin, tastier than a McGuffey’s Reader.
“A sausage McGuffin?”
The ingredients aren’t important.
It impels the breakfast forward, however.
I’m confused…..
Where are the stolen pictures of titties? Is this Doc Weasel’s site?
Thinking making my brain hurt….need stolen pictures of..TITTIES….
I think this site is above my pay grade……..
Isn’t a Sausage McGuffin made of 100% pickled Hitchcock?
No scrapple?
That’s not the egg-mcfuffan I once knew.
Titties, bunnies and beavers?
Om My!
thor –
I don’t know. Every time a pussy has tried to talk to me, it sounded suspiciously like a fart. Or at the least, a “phffffffft”.
Sort of like you…
You know, sometimes I am amazed at whay I am capable of saying.
Ok I read like 100’s of PWers jumping on doc and I read all the comments and theres all these people calling doc a pr0nographer because our site has naked girls and a pr0n king and all this like you are better than, I know right? Then I look at the stats and like hundreds of you clicked over and didn’t just click away in descust you clicked on a buttload of pix and clicked on teh +related+ posts which are all that series of teen amatures where they are making out like they “look how terrible these girls are posting naked on the web” bu treally its just an excuse to post naked girls on the web. So really most of your readers are hypocrits. So enjoy the pr0n but dont pretend you think its gross or stupid because ya’ll are fapping to it. plus we all get the blame for “docweasel” posts but you dont know which is posting what dont assume its one guy commenting here because like as not its not =kt
Well, I know that hundreds of me clicked over and, unable to look away, clicked on a whole bunch of pictures.
Not.
doc, you’re still a dork. It doesn’t matter how much of a dork other people are. You can’t make yourself less of a dork by pointing out that other dorks exist.
But thanks for the underage pics! You’re, like, one-stop shopping for the underage-pooter hounds.
Docweasels still don’t get the nature of the critique. Perhaps pron rots the brain?
rumpweasel, now you’re talking about yourself in the third person. Better give attribution to Rickey Henderson, otherwise assweasel, you may get sued.
I did, however, look around a bit for the unboring, incisive commentary that I nearly took it for granted that docweasel was serving up. But I’m kind of impatient, so after looking around for a few minutes and finding little other than amateurish graphics and underage pooter, I decided it just wasn’t worth it.
Shorter docweasel: “You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall!”
I had a similar experience, Slart. Maybe doc should post his logs (at his site, natch).
I’m at 68.9.99.109. Let’s see what you’ve got, kiddo.
A better question for docweasel would be, “Why do you keep hitting yourself?”
I’ve seen plenty of porn, Doc, and your site is definitely 3rd rate. No, that’s unfairly harsh. OK, 2nd rate. Low 2nd rate.
For me, this debate was inspiring. So much so that I may change my screen name to “Lame Pooter.” Or if happyfeet wouldn’t mind, maybe “Happy Lame Pooter.” Because hf is most beloved on this list (including by me). And I want some love. Even though I’m not smart or clever. Because love is my right. And would be especially if my name was Happy Lame Pooter.
Good Lord! How many more little weasels are going to pop out of the bushes?
Oh, and just in case the demons of some of you misguided unintentionalists make you misunderstand, I really do think happyfeet is one of the most smart, clever, and the most funnest posters here. hf makes me laugh several times a day. And that is good for my health.
“How many more little weasels are going to pop out of the bushes?”
Why, Diana, you little scamp!
Plus, I’d like to second Fredras’ point. I have seen good porn, and you sir (the weasel), do not deliver good porn.
Whenever Jeff wants Jeff’s opinion, Jeff will hand it to him. So Jeff better pipe down, if Jeff knows what’s good for him.
Me, I’m waiting for the video of Jeff catch-wrestling other-Jeff. Like Steve Martin in “All of Me.” No titties, but I’d still do pay for view. And my money would be on Jeff.
Oh. So: docweasel is more like a 400 medley relay of boring, rather than a Michael-Phelps-grade individual medley of boring?
Yawn.
It’s a terrible habit, I know. I trying to quit. Really!
At least you didn’t have no way to hold your head that didn’t hurt.
FTR, I think “Happy Lame Pooter” has a nice ring to it.
Randy —
True. I drink the good stuff. But I did shave my face and comb my hair and stumble down the stairs to meet the day, and I did catch a waft of the Sunday smell of someone frying chicken — though I have a feeling that was just thor keeping it real.
(See what I did there?)
What, is Thor banging chickens now?
Incidentally, that latest docweasel must be a math and porn guy, as opposed to a Humanities and porn guy.
Either that, or he’s typing with his toes while sucking Everclear right through a Crazy Straw.
And maybe assorted melons, just for the authenticity.
Did you know that the collective noun for weasels is a “confusion”? True.
Here Docweasel offers instruction on the canons of sockpuppetry. I remember that LMAO thread, and thinking he’d missed the boat on the joke a bit in his eagerness to exhibit his /b/ forum know-how.
– The poor man’s Jason Fortuny appears at #75 and a few times after.
IMAO, rather. sheesh
#93 on that thread is absolutely priceless.
Thank you, Carin-sycophantic, brainwashed moron #1. I appreciate the input. But now I’m thinking “The Lame Pooter Incident.” More gravitas.
#157
Who knows. Docweasel is probably just the one weasel, pretending to be several pretending to be one.
But now I’m thinking “The Lame Pooter Incident.†More gravitas.
I suppose there can only be one “Happy” at PW.
The Andromeda Lame Pooter
Lame Pooter Odyssey 2008
Tuesdays with Lame Pooter
The Lame Pooter Patient
War and Pooter
I’m just wondering when we get to dance at the feet of our naked emperor.
T&T
Feets is having a party? I am soooo there!
#160
Sockweaselism: Dissociative Pooter Disorder(s)
The Lame Pooter Wore Tennis Shoes
The grapes of pooter
From Pooter with love
From here to Pooter Eternity
Death to a Pooter salesman
The Postman only rims pooter
The Good, the Bad, and the pooter
Pooter bare and the 100 aching woodies
– Either that Jeff, or it was just a bad tuna fish sandwich.
FTFY.
BTW, they have a test for that nowadays, but Edwards is refusing to take it.
– Thanx McGehee. That one didn’t really have the right penetration to it.
For the temporally disadvantaged. Yes, that’s Kurt Russell.
How many threads are you going to trackback-spam, dorkweasel?
Do yourself a favor and don’t click the link unless you’ve got like an hour or so to waste reading fact free whiny bleating…with the comment section closed. I did like the part where he talks about the guest bloggers being fired and then goes on to talk about how they’re posting on Jeff site and don’t want to make him mad. But that’s only because idiocy sometimes amuses me.
Memo to docweasel: more teenage chesticles, less whining about someone else’s blog.
Fred Allen wouldn’t have done so well feuding with Jack Benny if Jack Benny had ignored him.
I wouldn’t anyway. If my wife got a look at that browser history, she’d think I was a pedo.
I’m not saying dorkweasel’s a pedo, mind you; he’s just doing reportage.
No matter. I’ll just remove his trackbacks. He can rely on people doing Technorati searches for my name, or Google searches for “cum pooter pussy underage images” for his/their/its traffic.
…or you could just edit them so they point to the FBI child protection task force, or some such.
That’s gotta be one of the best mastur-er-soliloquy-confessions-good-for-the-soul that I’ve ever read Jeff. But then, I’m a suck-up like that.