me: “So… How do you like the, you know — the starship…?”
Ghost of Isaac Hayes:
Ghost of Isaac Hayes:
Ghost of Isaac Hayes: “Shut yo’ mouth.”
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
I speak jive.
I believe the correct spelling is “mouf”
Just so, Dicentra. That was the first thing that popped into my head but I didn’t comment because I’m not a racist. ;-)
They say that Cockslap is a mean mother.
Depends on the size of the shaft, Dan.
But is he with Captain Ron now?
Sorry guys. Rough day. Enjoy yourselves. I’m going to go drink myself into a frenzy.
He’s a complicated man
No one understands him
‘cept for Xenu
The frenzy part only lasts for a little while.
I find this extremely humorous, although it could just be the body thetans talking.
“Wha’s hapnin’ Rockfish?”
I don’t know, Dan. I seem to remember Jeff’s attempt to procure absinthe a couple of years back. Nothing says “frenzy” like a good absinthe buzz.
“Nothing says “frenzy†like a good absinthe buzz.”
Hm, I thought absinthe said ‘ennui’.
He’s a complicated man…no one understood him but his Thetaaaans.
Better ask Vincent Van Gogh, N.O’B. Or maybe Janis Joplin. Oh, wait, sorry.
Does the starship look like a DC-8?
And if it does, is that an indication of the complicity of the US Government in Xenu’s plots? McDonnell-Douglas was a big defence contractor and is part of Boeing, you know…
Oh, so I’m the racist today.
Forgot to mark it on my calendar. Someone remind me when my turn is up next.
So I can’t get the blackface juuuuust right.
You’re down for the 23rd, dicentra. It’s after the full moon this month.
Oh. Well, he’s dead now. That’s why he’s a ghost. Much like Shelly Winters and Kurt Cobain really. But not Jenna Elfman.
Oh, crap. Big whit(ish) round shape in a black(ish) background sky? Extraordinarily racist.
Shelly Winters is dead? Why wasn’t I informed?!
This is more racist than Hitler.
Jenna Elfman’s all right. Only her tits are too small and she’s not boozy enough.
Why, do you have a date with her?
Poo everyone. My kids are being brats and no one is around to play. How about we take turns throwing pot-shots at Thor?
more racist than Hitler.
Good one, Lt.
Isaac Hayes I don’t really have a relationship with really. Yeah he was Chef but Chef never struck me as a the being of which was a very big deal in the scheme of things thing. I think if he had been Tony the Tiger or maybe a judge on American Idol that would have made more of an impression. It’ll be a lot the same for me when Dave Coulier dies I think.
Dave Coulier ! Happyfeet – you should warn us when you are going to throw something that funny out there. I almost had a wreck.
Did you say ghost? Isn’t that just another word for spook?
This place is unbelievably RACIST!!!
Isn’t Jenna half-man (well, woman) and half-elf, hence the name?
If so, she should get a pass in the conforming-to-standard-body-morphology department, I’d think.
She’s like a fantasy version of Obama.
Hey, ‘feets: here’s a turtle story for you.
What a kind person. Especially being how turtles are so unappreciative.
There are good people here saving Diamondbacks who get squished by cars on the causeway leading from the Mainland to the shore. They send out observers every couple of hours during the mating season to pick up the injured and preempt impending tragedies.
For Black Moses, sure. He had hands the size of Rottweilers.
The only things I like about her are those. They’re vigilant. I’d lose that staredown anytime.
(Okay– To ensure that, despite its crudeness, the preceding isn’t taken as a piece of IBTC white-knightery, I’ll remind the ladies in the audience that I have often here spoken ill of them in a way that marks me as bad breeding material, and with few exceptions, I disdain them in real life as well. I’d go Sully if I could. I’m semi-ironically enjoying a happy German dance record at this very moment. All right? I’m trolling for a “Like she’d let you.” Don’t fuck it up.)
Like she’d let you, psycho.
Ah, someone else who remembers the attempt to make a Rockford Files spin-off with Isaac Hayes and Lou Gossett Jr.
Especially being how Jenna Elfman’s breasts are so unappreciative.
Jenna Elfman is smoking hot. Sadly, being a Scientologist like chef, she is also crazy. Damn you Ron.
I hate Oompa Loompa’s. Our host is no Oompa Loompa. You, on the other hand, are a troll. A greasy slimy puss file rectal fistula of a troll. The smelly oozy kind.
Hey JD:
Heads up! Feets is about to lob another one onto the thread. Put down the crackberry and drive.
file should be filled
But I think the overall point was fairly clear despite the typo.
Thanks for the warning, dicentra. I am not a crackberry guy, Palm Centro until next week, when I get my new Samsung Instinct. Woot!
Plus, I am just driving the remote control from the sofa now …
Comment by sinister trampoline on 8/13 @ 7:57 pm
I find your views intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Our neighbors have a trampoline, but I never thought of it as sinister before.
Now, though…
I feel like it’s watching me.
Waiting.
It’s watching you alright.
Trampolines have a soul.
The neighborhood kids break the springs and kill it. When that one kid jumps off the roof onto it, you can hear it scream.
It’s only the rectangle ones that are evil though.
The round ones with the safety nets go to heaven.
It’s in ‘Leviticus’, something or other.
Is it your left-hand neighbor, I wonders?
When your eldest son gives you the news that some girl claims he sired her child , he says non, and he backs it up with the best OB-GYN info on the net, and his girlfriend has forgiven him for his transgression,….
Thats when a man reminds himself that he quit smoking way back when for his family’s sake….and knows the odor of regret.
…” a whiny, verbose literary Oompa-Loompa.”
That’s BULLSHIT!! If one of the Oompa-Loompas’ wrote something after singing one of those songs, it would have been on the news.
Jeff would have been the first one to comment on it.
Fuck. Probably would have been groundbreaking.
You can bet your ass they would have interupted network broadcasts. Cable too. CNN..FOXNEWS…”**BREAKING**…OompaLoompas’ talk politics and intentionalism … We now go straight to Jeff Goldstein…who is reporting from a toe hold on a blue mat…Jeff?”
And Trampolines?
They may have a soul…
But over time, they loose springs…And the dumbshit neighbor kid falls off and his parents sue…
And look, all the grass under it dies…weirdo’s break into your back yard and want to fuck on it…it was invented by the Soviets in 1951…in a Siberian gulag…to power a snow cone machine… by having beaten & starved ‘enemy of the state’ acrobats jump on it…but it took 16 hours to get the product to Moscow…in open-air dump trucks…and then you had to stand in a 3 mile line to get it…and they had no flavors…besides, it was pretty much just big dump truck buckets of snow water by then…which they just threw away!
Which is good because along the way it had somehow picked up nuclear waste.
Just like current “Russian Toilet Paper.”
But that’s not the real story.
The new “Russian” brand TP also has AIDS and alcoholism in it too!
Fucking Putin.
I only sashal were here…he could explain it better.
I closing:
Capitalism and the Free Market are a helluva thing.
And (all except round) trampolines are evil.
Oops. In my rant there are two “I’s” that should have had “n’s” right next to them.
And how did AOSHQ get “most profane conservative website”? I don’t think the ‘Academy’ awarded points for style.
Mostly just for the word ‘cocksucker.’
Doesn’t seem fair.
We use words like ‘Code, Honor”..’Indecisive Taint Dangler’…
‘Smegma.’
‘Butt Grease.’
‘Herpe Justice.’
‘WTF is that? I need to see a doctor.’
‘Peter Tracks.’
‘It was silent, but I rolled up the windows & turned on the heater for ALL OF AMERICA.’
George Clooney spoke of Hattie McDaniel…
Fuck him (but I totally loved ‘Mammy’).
We’ve fought so hard.
Don’t we thoughtful, put upon, abstract cursers deserve your liberal respect George?
Don’t we deserve a Coen brothers flick?
DON’T WE?!?!?
“When your eldest son gives you the news that some girl claims he sired her child , he says non, and he backs it up with the best OB-GYN info on the net, and his girlfriend has forgiven him for his transgression,….
Thats when a man reminds himself that he quit smoking way back when for his family’s sake….and knows the odor of regret.”
That’s Hawthorne, right?
Christ, that’s beautiful.
(congrats on the dodged bullet)…
Comment by sinister trampoline on 8/13 @ 10:06 pm #
“I am the ghost of failed comprehensive tort reform.
Boo.”
No.
You are the dum-dum acquaintance of a failed ‘attorney neighbor.’
A new stupid one who just can’t make rent on his/ her crappy, one bedroom apartment and has, in the mean time, sold you the Amway version of politics…or one who’s big, free suckling gub’ment teet got tugged and it’s all ‘conservatives’ fault.
Either way… if you let them move in, don’t let ’em store any of their shit in your garage!
I weep giant tears for the loss of “Chef”. I even have a “South Park” T-shirt. Only $7 at Wal-Mart. Couldn’t resist. Very sick, but that program makes me laugh and laugh, and after “Team America”, those guys are my heroes.
Oh. And FUCK Obama! This guy ain’t even ready to be dogcatcher (vis-a-vis Russia). He’s Jimmuh Cartuh to the tenth power.
“Dear Vladimir,
Allow me to kiss your totalitarian ass, and then, if you turn around and let me pull down your zipper….
Thank you.
His “O!-iness”
And now I have to go send Lindsey Graham a love note. This man is worse than McCain, and a fiercely flaming asshole. I think he needs to hear from people who know that two plus two equals four. I’m pretty sure that this complicated bit of calculus escapes him.
The “gang of ten” my butt…They are erecting more barriers than we already have under the pretense of “Okaying” drilling.
“Yes, you can drill, but it will cost you more in court costs to do it than the oil is worth, and will take you about fifty years to get through the courts – even if you win . So oil drilling is realistically (under the “gang of ten ” rules) going to take twenty to thirty years to happen.
And Nancy couldn’t be happier. “This is our ‘fair’ compromise.”
Yup. Congress will allow drilling, but sick the dogs on you if you even dare to try.
Do I sound pissed? Maybe because these assholes are going out of their way to piss off anyone with an IQ of over 80. Just the threat of drilling has dropped gas by about 60 cents in the last month or so.
How do we manage to send some of the biggest egotistical, stupid, PC assholes in the country to Washington? When I was growing up, 90% of these morons wouldn’t have lasted past their first term (and I do not exclude the Republicans, who have long ago shot themselves in the foot, and continue to do so, aiming higher up their own legs with every passing day!. How long before they shoot themselves in the nuts?) But that’s when people paid attention to their own interests, and kept track of what their representatives did. Now it seems to come down to haircuts and how much the suits cost.
Political awareness has become Passe I guess.
OT, I know, but Fox News (and when I see Megyn I know why they call it Fox News)just had a clip of Graham, and I wanted to jump through the screen and stick tooth picks into his tongue so we wouldn’t have to listen to his “stupidness” anymore (“That’s a joke, son” – Yogi Bear)).
What has happened to the Republican party? It’s like Nelson Rockefeller never died (with a deeply buried woody, no less!) on top of that bim way back when.
I would think it might be a bummer when you are a twenty something woman, and an old geezer dies while he’s doing you. Probably never even got her money.
How many showers would you need to get that stink off?
Enough. Lindsay Graham(?) set me off here, and I just had to let fly or go and beat some family member. And not even necessarily one of my own family members.
Sorry for such OT-ness.
That depends. Left facing the house, or left facing the street?
You know, if only we could get a Scientologist here at PW for debate. That would be FUN.
We already have a Mormon. Isn’t that close enough?
(I kid, I kid!)
JD: I got my Instinct about three weeks ago. It kicks ass. I use a program called iSquint on my little Mac Mini to convert TV shows that I’ve recorded on my PC to .mp4 format, then if I get bored at work I have something to entertain myself. The Nav is pretty slick. One update I’m hoping they get out the door fairly soon is supposed to allow third party apps like Opera Mini a way to use the keyboard.
I.am.so.hurt. Well, I guess I’m not that old, but on behalf of all of us picking up speed as we downhill race toward the gaping maw of the tomb below
GERONTOLOPHOBE! GERIATRIPHOBE!
Will this work? <img src=”“>
Oh, well. Can’t embed an image.
Paris Hilton. She’s a sinister trampoline.
Misinterpretation. It’s not “the starship,” but rather, “Starship.” Prepare yourself for the Issac Hayes’ ghost version of “We Built This City,” available in Gitmo and other torture chambers for maximum volume-playing any day now…
Jim in KC – Better Half got one last week. She is functionally illiterate when it comes to technology, but she loves texting on it.
I like everything else about it.
[…] “Uh, hi. I couldn’t help notice you were looking my way just […]
Comment by Carin on 8/14 @ 6:12 am #
You know, if only we could get a Scientologist here at PW for debate. That would be FUN.
*********
Legend has it that L. Ron Hubbard made a bet with Robert Heinlein that he (Hubbard) could create a totally bogus religion out of nothing but his own notions, and have followers, churches, the works. The result of that bet was Scientology.
If true, I guess L. Ron was right…
I guess all that talk about superpowers and bodily control to heal yourself and prevent disease as a top level scientologist didn’t work out so well for Mr Hayes. Very sad :(
Geezer,
I wouldn’t have called Rocky a geezer if I weren’t flying down that slope myself.
I took my mirrors down long ago when I walked by one after getting out of the shower, and wondered to myself: “Who are those guys? And boy! Do they have big floppy breasts, or what?”. I am still puzzled daily over how I got so old, so fast.
I could swear I was 25 about three years ago.
I don’t care if he believed in some whacked-out religion.
He’s the fucking King of New York. He’s A-number-1!!!
Dog, I hate to think what you’re going to do if McCain nominates Graham for VP. Try not to think about it.
Shut yo’ moff motha fucka.
I can attest to our host’s hairtrigger temper. I tried to joshingly riff on the similarity of “deify” and “reify”, and barely escaped alive. Good thing he likes to be tickled behind the ears, else I’d be pushing up homologies by now.