You know who’s kinda lame? That Obama fellow, that’s who.
But don’t just take my word for it… (warning: goes beyond mere titties!)
update: 2002, bitch!
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Recent Comments
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Can’t expect folks to bookmark you at work if you publish NSFW pics on the front page, Jeff. Need to use a cut.
Well, it is Saturday, Robert.
Yeah Jeff you’re gonna get ranked on with many many oodles of paragraphs of cogent rankings.
Did somebody say something?
Snatched from the pages of DocWeasel, I presume.
(Or just snatch from the pages of DocWeasel. Take your pick. But where’s the DAMN FLAMES?)
Hush. Teenage pooter is talking.
Well, this is no place for an Ernest Borgnine interview, then…
Those are three very intelligent and rational quims.
Are those the new hosts of the View?
Wrong hair.
…
You know what I mean. Only the left one has a hairdo that carries a social requirement to (pretend to) be an Obama supporter.
Also–
Sir Mix-A-Lot and I may disapprove, but Obama, probably not. Scarlett’s got nothing going on back there.
Insight. You gots it.
Wow, is there like a fund raising drive going on or something?
Pooter on PW?
Jeff,
The link to the comment is missing the “h” in http. Too blinded by the vast & “literal” inside jokes of political commentary to catch it…
Hmm… teenage pooter!!!!
It’s ironic pooter, Carin. See how it glistens just so?
Now if only there was a site that combines teenage pooter & biting, simply, literally commentary…
This one’s gonna leave a mark.
Not to throw water on the ‘dillo, but might want to include a NSFW disclaimer above the cut. I know that kind of puts a buzzkill on the joke, but so does the application form for unemployment.
Pelosi said today that, um, maybe some limited coastal drilling would be ok.
oh. Where do people work that they have time for these sorts of policings? For real, they were gonna fire you anyway…
Just sayin’ Feet, I enjoy a good pooter joke as much as the next intolerant and intolerable bluenose. Divorce proceedings and “fired for teh porn” blacklists, not so much.
And if it’s a cutback decision and you’re coming up even against the guy/gal who doesn’t have accidental and ironic teen pooter in the browsing history, might be room for a safety clause in there somewheres.
You’re right. For real though I think umbrella policies should have incidental pooter damage clauses. Maybe JD has some insight here.
You’d have to do a manuscript endorsement for that, hf.
But also in the firings I’ve seen in that America known as corporate, checking the browser history and email and stuff is what you do after you decide to fire someone but the stupid manager has insufficient documentation for it. It’s really creepy to watch this machinery spring into action. The best is how they craft the “recommendations for improvement” or “action plan” or whatever on the bottom of the employee evaluation form. “Develop and demonstrate comprehensive industry knowledge” is my favorite. This on a kid making 35K. He’s so doomed.
Ahhh, it’s a perfect post. No worries, Hadlowe. Clear your cache and your browsing history. And hope your employer hasn’t spent as little as $30 to keep his network clean.
Heh. That ‘KGB Employee Monitor’ software. Putin approved.
You know, I’ve never seen a talking bicycle rack before.
Heh, won’t have to worry about the employer firings and whatnot until after the bar, which is still a few years away. However, my beautiful and tolerant wife tends to get a bit… gloomy when she sees teen vaj on my screen. The argument, “But it’s ironical and funny teen vaj,” tends not to hold alot of water since context tends not to matter in areas of spousal fidelity, and I’d prefer not to get caught with my pants down, which is not meant literally but also somewhat.
Of course, occasionally she’ll call me over to observe the vaj on her monitor, but that’s different because she has built-in authenticity regarding vaj, whereas I’m just an outside observer. I’m pretty okay with the arrangement.
In any case, a NSFW of some sort on future pooter could save me an unnecessary argument. Pretty sure, though, that this is the only time I’ve seen anything genital related graphically displayed on the site in the last three years, so the request could be moot. Unless you count the absolutely uncanny resemblance between the number 1 and a cock, in which case, I denounce the first 10 posters in this and every thread hereafter.
link fixed, sorry.
Yeah, and I denounce myself for not realizing that of the first ten posters, only number 1 has the blatant cock in their post. But the ten fuckers after that, absolutely denounced.
Law school requires little math proficiency. Ask me how excited I am about Tax Law classes. The answer is “Pretty fucking.”
“Coastal drilling…”
Heh.
Oh, and sorry, Hadlowe. I’ve added some warning text.
Hopefully, people will click the hyperlink first. At which point they’ll know that I’m all about the literal these days. Those literary devices I was using were just dull and off center and, well, not particularly funny.
Whereas a thinking pooter what actually thinks? That’s keeping a promise, amigos.
Bicycle rack? Now I’ve heard everything. :)
To be honest I wasn’t real thrilled with any element of the joke today. But I’m a cranky pants.
Pfft, no sorries required. I denounce the sorries. I prefer that nothing be off limits personally, so the joke wasn’t lost on me. Just a subtext of me sleeping lonely and frustrated for a week kinda took the edge off it. YMMV
Knee jerk prudery here. I guess I fear death.
And don’t care for the association of vapidness with femaleness, even though that’s Docweasel’s deal.
I denounce my feminism.
No one is going to launch a denial of service attack on your site for publishing this, Jeff. And that’s not the only upside!
Hmmm, upside to the downside. Should be a joke in there somewhere.
I denounce my nerdism.
Happy (#14), I’d rather not look to closely to see what is glistening…
Baracky is vapid and demonstrably male though, so I think the pooter commentary is very apt. It’s a lot cause he has very narrow life experience and is mostly about marketing an image of what used to be a hope and change thing but is now more just a you will vote for me unless you’re a stupid racist thing and also I’m gonna tax the shit out of you and spend it all on these people over here that vote Democrat. It’s a lot like Hugo Chavez except Baracky never jumped out of an airplane. Cause he’s sort of a pussy like that. A creepy George Soros socialist pussy. So I guess I have to stand with the pooters, SarahW. I’ve given this a lot of thought.
oh. I might could just have something on my monitor, Carin.
“Comment by Mr. Pink on 8/16 @ 12:50 pm #
Are those the new hosts of the View?”
I like the view.
I can stand prose comparisons to pooters, and even applaud them. The pictures – straight to the amygdala, and processed through the cranky striatum, causing intense misfiring in the hiptstercampus. Even though the other parts get the ironical upsidedownedness. I guess you’d have to call it a quirk.
Those chicks look younger than Chinese gymnasts. Then again maybe it’s just the angle.
If Baracky only used prose and not images we wouldn’t even know his name though cause he’s just someone that they picked from Chicago for being black and pretty and a senatorial wannabe and then they had the media make him a senator for a couple years and now him’s gonna be president is the plan. Illinois people have really hypersensitive amygdalas I think. Desensitized amygdalas would go a long way towards not putting a creepy George Soros tool in the White House I think.
oh. I might could just have something on my monitor, Carin.
You weren’t licking the screen, where you?
No, forget I asked.
They call that sensitization “kindling”. A person can take advantage of it.
I bet that format could rejuvenate “The Dating Game.”
But the weenie is indeed lame.
That doesn’t make any sense, Salt Lick. Aren’t missile defense systems those things what keep people from getting hit with missiles? I don’t get why Baracky would want to get rid of them. He should give this some thought when he gets back from Hawaii.
projectile drooling.
But they are unproven, hf. And space is for innocent rocks.
Monees should be spent on alternative fruits.
Plus a Skynet is like triple-dog-daring your enemies. How does that help Michelle’s children?
It does not.
Space is for contemplative yodas.
But carne asada tastes better when you know a missile won’t go falling on top of your head in the middle of eating your taco though is how I look at it. Baracky is sort of taking the hispanic vote for granted here I think.
They don’t even bother with the carne asada in Israel anymore. Baracky should ask why that is before he just goes ahead and implements George Soros’ agenda I think.
Tacos of greed and fear!
Teen pooter, can you hear me?
Teen pooter, can you see me?
Are you somewhere down below
And are you still my skanky ho?
I killed the thread without meaning to?
That’s POWA!
Sigh
It’s the winking hour, Dan.
Rusty sighed and nobody knows why.
My baby does the skanky-panky…
I’m gonna have to denounce Happy for the Taco references in this thread.
It’s just not appropriate.
For those of you who don’t know, I grabbed this pic from the top post at docweasel’s blog. Where timeliness, substance, and straightforward work is appreciated — else you’re just wasting pixels.
But while I was over there, I did notice that, according to docweasel, that Barack fellow is kinda lame, and that Wikipedia is kinda lefty. And I said to myself, “whoa! That’s some edgy shit. How can I possibly get that flavor over on my lame site?”
Thus, this. EXCELSIOR!
So … Docweasel has become your muse?
Sometimes a taco is just a taco. Except for fish tacos, which, that would have been just wrong.
Tried to think of some connection with that “Gay Popcorn of Lies” you used to blog about. Can’t. Sorry.
T&T
Thanks for an evening both lovely and strange
Happyfeet, I would like to thank you, your fish taco comment just made my evening, I am stll smiling.
You are welcome. I did this instead of getting a haircut cause the haircut guy decided to go see a movie with “Greg”. It was some art movie. Brideshead Revisited. No idea. I think it’s a remake though, or from a book I should know but don’t. He didn’t ask if I wanted to go with.
As Zimmerman says, “You’ll not see nothin’ like the mighty quim.”
I dunno. Those looked like three very nice and well-centered literary devices.
Dull and not partiularly funny? Well, I’d have to interview them at length to determine that..
Jeff, I like your version of “The Vagina Monologues” much better. Maybe in the future, actresses will consider ventriloquism as an option. More authentic, etc.
Ventriloquism? At the vagina monologues?
Where would they stick their hands?
People, I have to say I’m not particularly interested in bashing the doc. First, because I don’t care. Second, because I, like most of you, am glad that Jeff’s back. Third, and most importantly, because I’m too fucking tired.
Like Jeff, I’ve got a family to run, here. I like the doc, I’m, as I mentioned before, partly responsible for the flaming armadillo crap, and I expect–because I know Jeff somewhat–that he’s got more important shit to publish.
Karl, Darleen, TSI, Craig and the rest, myself included, were, and in some cases are, here to make it possible for Jeff to reclaim his site. And so he has, and I’m fucking happy as a clam about it.
If you don’t like Jeff, please come to the Pub. If you do, I’m sorry that I’m not Jeff, but feel free to enjoy him here. Either way, it’s a good deal for you, considering how much you pay for a subscription. And hit the goddamn tip jar, ferchrissakes, if you dig what Jeff does, as I do.
You don’t like my shit? Don’t go to the Pub. Or go there and take a look at who’s posting. Don’t like Jeff? Too bad. We’re over there at the Pub.
Do I owe anything to Jeff? Yeah, I do. I’m not the easiest person to get along with, and I wouldn’t have a name at all if it weren’t for what he had done already. Does Jeff owe me anything? Nothing beyond acknowledging that I was one of the several people that kept things going while he was gone. And, frankly, he’s done that.
Apart from my prickishness, I’m a pretty nice guy, I think. So . . . whatever you want to lay on me, I don’t much mind. Not because I don’t care what you think, but because I get my strokes from my family, my colleagues, my friends, my students. This is something I do for fun. If it’s not fun, fuck it.
Or y’all could do like me, and visit both PW and the Pub.
That’s what I’d recommend.
That’s sardonic, Dan. Which isn’t to say I don’t think that Doc Weasel, who is not even a real doctor I don’t think, wasn’t rude, cause he was. He said I was a wannabe cooler-than-thou wanker. That’s just not even accurate much less nice cause if it were I would be calling myself Dr. Happyfeet, with a big important capital H now wouldn’t I? But I don’t. I would never do that. But mostly he was mean to Jeff. How can he not know how old the be mean to Jeff thing is and claim to know anything about this place? Also he’s kind of perverted.
I visited Doc’s blog back when that flaming armadillo first started cooking. I don’t seem to remember much all that much pr0n.
Maybe he just needs a slight modification in his diet.
Wanda Wanda Wanda?
nice, steal my pics, steal my gags and no link. Listen, if you need a staff writer to feed you gaglines, I’m up for it, but don’t just steal my ideas with no attribution and throw them to your obsequious little suck-ups as your own jokes. Now every stupid fuck who gave you props or appreciated that little lame jest and at the same time ran their yammering mouth about my stuff is revealed as a fucking dumbass. You’re laughing at MY work fuckos, he just stole it. And I did it better. Where did you learn to make a thought cloud for a butthole, goldberg?
I’m an ass aficionado compadre.
Oh, this has Jack Benny and Fred Allen written all over it.
Here’s a fuckin’ cyber man-hug, big fella.
The avalanche of fun, the tommy-gun of humor, the last Mississippi steamer! Only Lance Armstrong’s bike seat knows more fart jokes!
He’s Dan Collins, ladies and gentlemen, the lowest paid man in comedy.
Where’s Alp lately,? He’s a riot too.
See there? Do I want to be caught in between? No, I don’t.
And I’ve got the very same tattoos on my butt as Tony.
Docweasel,
Not to be all bashy or anthing but I don’t believe anyone didn’t think that was your picture being made a mockery of.
And the Pub has super veal and bacon taco Dan, and some other flavors.
There he goes again with the obsequious little suck-ups thing. Where on the internet is that not just rude? Ok this is me satirizing Doc Weasel. Oh. Jeff already did. Ok this is me bored with Doc Weasel now.
Goldberg, Goldstein. What’s the difference, eh? To be fair, Doc, you launched the first salvo here with your screedy whinge last night. To be called on the carpet for it is justifiable and appropriate. In essence you set yourself up as a heckler and as such, you can’t object when the dude on the stage lets into you with little mercy.
And to claim that a talking asshole is your schtick? Ermm, pretty sure you didn’t invent anything there.
“I’m an classless aficionado compadre.”
There, fixed it for you.
dear sarahW, dumbass
no shit sherlock, it says its my pic. but he didn’t bother to steal the pic WHERE I USED THE SAME FUCKING JOKE, he used another pic then put MY FUCKING GAG on another of my pics and posted it like he just thought it up. and don’t tell me he didn’t see it, look at the extreme bottom of the page. PW fucking linked it. Right here: http://docweasel.wordpress.com/2008/04/23/chelsea-clintons-magic-ass/
halfway down the fucking page.
Of course, a retarded chimp with a palsy could make better ass thought balloons, it looks like he spunked on the pic then scanned it, but the point remains.
I’ll fucking sue his ass for stealing my ass gag. don’t test me goldberg. I know people. scary people. people you don’t wanna know about. they frown on people stealing other people’s assgags. it ain’t legal. and goddamit, it ain’t right.
oh. He’s serious.
PW is run by dumb jocks and sorority whores!
DocWeasel, don’t be creepy.
Taint funny, Jeff!!one
( I can’t believe nobody’s posted this yet.)
Heckler with combover: Your act is lame.
Comedian: Yeah, well here’s my impersonation of your haircut.
Heckler with combover: Fuck you, you prick. That combover is mine. Nevermind that it’s lame, or that it’s been done better by half the male population of Philadelphia. That shit is copyrighted, or it would be, if loose concepts could be copyrighted, and you could also protect copyright from satire.
Parody is pretty much illegal in the United States.
SarahW, which are you? I tend to imagine myself as the musclebound sorority whore.
‘don’t be creepy’
the lame ass refrain of the bint who can’t think of a rebuttal, so she accuses her better of being ‘creepy’, the catch-all phrase meaning you are stalking her or coming on to her- listen dickless, there’s a 75% chance you aren’t even female, being on the net posting regularly in a comments thread guarantees that, and if you ARE, you are, statistically, probably fuglier than a mud fence. Sorry honey, that’s just the law of averages. So don’t give me your “creepy” bullshit, you addressed me first. And you did it with stupidity and ignorance, which are not the same thing, hun. So you get the slap-down. If anyone’s creepy it’s you, someone who claims to be a girl stressing out about pics of girls asses and vaginas. How closely did you study them, hun?
Also that was mean again, calling SarahW a dumbass. Which she is not. Also you’re embarrassing Mr. Collins, who spoke well of you. Also I think mostly you’re trying to generate traffic, which is respectable I think. So there’s that.
Doc, there you go again. He was making fun of you.
Ok, you got me pegged, I’m fugly, but in the dark its all the same, wet and slippery! Now can we hook up for hot monkeyzex in your winnebago? email me!
It was kind of obvious. Like my big man hands.
Oh. That was even meaner, like mean like misogynistic mean, which isn’t funny usually. Dan? Thoughts?
Oh, crap. I’m going to bed. G’night, people.
Yeah, he was “making fun of me” but he did it with a gag he stole from me. Look at the mechanics of the gag. The asses are talking about various aspects of Obama’s campaign, the the 4th one is the kicker. He uses the same trope. You can’t steal someone’s gag entire, then say “oh, I was just making fun of your gag” you have to come up with your own take on it- he just lifted my idea completely.
Again, goldfarb, if you need assistance writing gags, I’m here man, my fees aren’t high. Bob Hope and Sinatra and even Reagan had guys on retainer, they had a personal appearance, they phoned the writers, got a few topical gags, delivered them with flair and got the kudos. I’m up for that, but you gotta pay for them. That’s my beef with him. Milton Berle got his knees broken for less. I’m just sayin’, nuthin fer nuthin’ fuggeddaboudit.
G’night, Dan. If people weren’t disappointing they wouldn’t be people you know. Gotta love em.
If I got the joke, Jeff was quite pointedly making fun of the lameness of your gags.
Sorry Dan. Sleep well.
And, those aren’t talking assholes. They’re talking quims.
Asshole.
They’re very self-deconstructing I think. Mostly cause everyone on some level knows that pooter doesn’t really talk.
Hadlowe – lol. Sorority whores never tell.
Sorry for my previous objection; this docweasel is getting on my last nerve. This has been a productive cough of a thread.
sarahw are you still yammering? you must have no life at all, seriously, you have what, 20 posts in this thread? Do you just sit there hitting F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5 and responding? That’s sad. You’re life is sad. Seriously, get away from the monitor and do something worthwhile or just shoot yourself, because living that sad a life hurts those around you, people you love are damaged by your sickness. Plus you are a moron, so really there is no help of bettering yourself.
If he were just “making fun of my page” he would come up with an original satire of something I’ve done. He wouldn’t just lift one of my gags and repeat it (and pointedly NOT link to the gag he stole, so people would think he thought of it himself). The heart of satire or parody is not to just repeat something, its to take it to another, risible, ridiculous, silly level pointing out its stupidity. I made a cartoon of asses discussing policy, then he makes one. How the fuck is that satire? He just stole my bit is all.
Basically, it pretty much proves my point from the other day: jeff goldburger is intellectually bankrupt, his well is dry, he has nothing to say, and now he’s resorted to plagiarism, unattributed, and now he is exposed, and soon to be riding the road that leads down to infamy, unloved, unwept and unsung.
And yes, I tip my hat to Sir Walter Scott. I’m not a cyberthief like _some_ people.
It works as satire mostly cause you’re building up quite the comment count on a thread geared toward pseudo-hipster posers and brainwashed sycophants.
Sorry about your haircut, Happyfeet. Brideshead, the book, is worthy. The new movie is a big fail.
I have fond memories of the BBC miniseries, as it was a friends-gather-to-watch event. A lot of Anthony Blanche impressions in between episodes. Also my husband who wasn’t yet was very Charles Ryder-ish an I was so smitten.
…except that both of those guys were funny. And they both got the joke.
I don’t think docw gets the joke.
I, sir, am no brainwashed sycophant.
I, sir, am a brainwashed myrmidon.
Deal.
weasel: “a gag he stole from me”
Who stole what from who?
Go away, weasel.
Also, people listened to both Jack Benny’s show and Fred Allen’s. Which was why their feud gag worked.
All I know about Evelyn Waugh is that his dad ate his bananas. Like all the time. Right in front of him.
No life, till I met you, DocWeasel!
What will you think of next.
HF, is that true? I had no idea. That could lead to some ambivalent feelings.
Borscht Belt Blogging. I never dreamed I would see it in my lifetime…
Stop poking the weasel. I think it’s got the hydrophobia.
stop being creepy sarahw
seriously
the hair on the back of my penis rose up when I read that
to the other idiot: this is no joke, Im seriously pissed and I’m thinking of taking legal action. I’ve got a process server stalking the halls of the Protein Wisdom complex as we speak with a subpoena for Jeff Goldman for plagiarizing my intellectual property and impinging on my ass ballon humor bit, which is copyrighted in 20 states and territories plus sundry possessions. You know, he gets away with this shit all the time and no one says anything. Last week we did “Top 10 Obama VP candidates if they were Guiness Book of World Record Holders” using the exact same gag and he nicks it. The Gravy Boat thing is just a rip of my Churchill China Brook Blue Round 9 1/4-Inch Open Vegetable Bowl run last Tuesday. His entire “provocateur” series is lifted from my cycle of posts on the evils of simony. The list goes on. I hope he knows this means BLOGWAR. I may even put up a new post.
This might devolve into teh funny. If is isn’t already.
I mean, parody of an asshole never got any better than this!
oh. I answered you on the other thread. Which a lot ruined the fun of my allusion I think. Yes. Evelyn grew up in like London or somewhere, and during the war, bananas were rationed. When they got banana coupons or whatever, dad would eat them with cream at the table with the kids… he never let them have any. War does strange things to people. Me and my dad, we never had any issues with the bananas.
Hey, look Jeff! Your deadbeat neighbor finally got a job!
Heh. Docweasel accuses me of stealing his “schtick.” That’s pretty funny.
Interesting factoid: Fully 77% of the shaved girls pictured on Docweasel’s site were, like, 10-years-old when I first did the talking ass bit.
And I’m sure it was done thousands of times before I did it, too.
Oh. And just in case he can’t figure out how to work the link — THAT’S 2002, BITCH!
So, you know, TALKING ASS LAWSUIT coming up!
EXCELSIOR!
That does it. My offendometer has burst. I demand that the internet be confiscated by Michael Chertoff.
Cynn, just drop that in the drawer with all my burned-out irony meters.
Damn those cheap Chinese knockoffs.
Well imagine my chagrin. I can’t even tell the difference between thinking bums and talking vaginas.
Don’t be bad talking the Chinese. They have control of all the bolts on the uneven bars.
One last thing: I have never looked at docweasel’s site until yesterday. I think I followed a direct link to the FLAMING ARMADILLO OF LITERAL RIGHTEOUSNESS, but other than that, nope.
I mean, no offense, but I like my internet porn ala carte, not with the facile surrounding commentary of a pimply-faced chub yanker. Feels too “hey man, wanna share a hooker?” the way he does it.
We did make our fajitas different though. He always did that foldy thing where the fajita stuff wouldn’t fall out the other end, and I always just threw whatever fell out into the next fajita. He would always say hey you know you can fold that to where everything falls out and I would say yeah I know but I’ll just throw that stuff in the next fajita. It was always very amicable though.
Again, hf is killing me.
Weasel – If you are going to try to crush people, it would help to be funny. Dr. Happyfeet don’t play that game. He is no sycophant, insouciant, sure.
You have just seemed hellbent on proving that you are not such a likeable guy this weekend. Sad. Because cooter’s having conversations is not an altogether bad thing.
By the way, Dan. Something tells me your buddy has a problem with uppity Jews. You know, because they think they’re so damn smart.
oh. fold that to where everything *doesn’t* fall out I meant.
Did I mention 2002?
Okay. Just checking.
PLAGIARISM! I DEMAND MY DUE, PEOPLE!
There you go Jeff, stealing people’s ideas before they even thought of them.
As for “steal my pics”, I wonder if Lightspeed Media knows he’s using their pics and putting his stamp on them? Tsk, tsk.
Dr. Weasel missed The First Lesson of Holes.
You have to wonder about someone that plagarizes Pauly Shore.
It’s part of my sinister Jew faux-hipsterness, Spiny. We Goldschlagers get all our stuff well in advance of the general public, thanks to our iron-fisted control over international banking and the media.
But in fairness, docweasel was probably talking out of his own vagina by the age of three — long before I ever thought to parody a likely post of his, where shaved chicks offer banal political commentary out of their glory holes.
Meta meta meta Shannon Elizabeth happening here. Much too insidery for doc to grok.
Jeff, sign the docweasel and throw it up on Ebay. I’m ready to bid for those bitches.
#61
Comment by happyfeet on 8/16 @ 5:22 pm #
Rusty sighed and nobody knows why.
Jeff made a happy man feel very old.
Hope the poor dear hasn’t rushed off to his blog to write a post about my “plagiarism”. That would be very unfortunate, I think.
Like his deciding to pick on the slapdash thought bubbles. Sorry, just not dedicated enough to the craft of making a convincing thought icon for a shaved peachfish, I guess. Which might just keep me out of the union.
The skill is there, though, is what’s so frustrating. As Ms Kournikova’s ass will attest. If only I could live up to my potential…
“We Goldschlagers get all our stuff well in advance of the general public, thanks to our iron-fisted control over international banking and the media.”
OH, so that’s how Jack Benny did it.
We won’t want to mention weasel’s theft of your trademark.
Thor bidding for bitches is like me buying a hotdog.
110 proof Goldschlager, no less.
#123 has a highly parodic, Mouse That Roared kind of feel. I wouldn’t touch it until it can be tested.
#123 had a “uh oh, I’d better walk this shit back a bit by veering toward the ‘I was just kidding,’ for chrissakes; lighten up, would you?” feel to me. But then, I’m not really good at understanding plain folk talk. So it’s possible I’m misreading, or getting my Jewness all over it or some such.
One-upped by cynn again.
Cynn, I’d love to take your picture for ya.
Drive you around the corner.
Ever been to California?
oh. What never gets old is winning gold medals. That right there is a truism.
Sorry about the HTML chaos there. My bad.
/rips off Manute Bol…
Yay, it’s not a blog stunt.
I bought spray on real gold flecks to put on macarons once. It was pretty but the can didn’t last one batch.
You see walking back there? I’m missing it, but it may just be the distraction of potential infectious disease. I’ve gotta go wash up. BRB.
Those patisserie supplier websites have lots of peculiar things to order, it’s hit or miss.
I still think wistfully of the marshmallows of many colors.
I probably always will.
I made some, they were good but not perfect. The second batch there was a molten sugar accident.
oh. You had not reported I don’t think. What flavors did you do?
But I made raspberry ones because I had some puree on hand, and a small pan of vanilla.
When I get them just right, which will probably be on a low humidity day, I will snap a picture.
You can have thought bubbles.
That would be stealing.
yeah, WHEN in 2002?. See, we go back to 1996, when the JOKES you use were only 10 years old mofo. How about that shit?
And please, you aren’t really going to pull out the religious victim card because I make fun of your name, are you? That’s incredibly weak sauce. You have a name of Jewish derivation, so, Jews being victims of discrimination and hate in the past renders any and all jokes about Jewish names, even the most harmless and campy, totally out of bounds or you are a fucking anti-semite. Really weak Jeff, and I’d bet if I went back through your posts I’d find you chiding Obama or Hillary for the same fucking thing. Call me a fucking bigot, right off. You start a bitchfight, I’m taking it in a humourous vein, and you call me an anti-semite. Fucking nice.
You notice, of course, that Obama is just the thinnest pretext for this thread…
It’s a metaphor for his candidacy. Duh.
Michael Phelps is a stud.
Y’all knew the Jooooooooos would corner the market on Golschlager. Those Zionist cabals are greedy like that.
Usain Bolt is a great name for a sprint. Good Allah, he is fast.
“don’t just steal my ideas”
Doc calling vapid poonballoons an “idea” risks giving his own brain grounds for libel. Maybe he should keep the ambulance-chasers on the homefront.
Oh, and he left out Golda Meir.
Or is it prudish to call out the antisemitism too?
right here, the “gravy boat” thing completely ripped me off, my fucking conceptual idea and everything. Hang on I’ll show you where he ripped off Isaac Hayes, give me ten mins.
Good idea to go to bed, Dr. Pauly Shore. Or not. But when, I read this ass pounding you are about to take, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Astroglide is that what you will need.
So, docW is claiming that talking out of one’s ass originated with him?
Shocka.
Sigh.
And I bet you can guess why.
Obama, an airy gelatin made with a sugar substitute that doesnt crystalize. And, btw, did I mention cocoa?
Usain Bolt cannot be human. He broke the world record and pulled up and started celebrating 15 meters before the finish. Good Allah, he could have been in the 9.5 range.
Hey you know what a great source for stuff about 80’s sitcoms is? Wikipedia. No lie. For real don’t go unless you have time to spare. It’s like comprehensive.
ok happyfeet I get that, I know where you got that
don’t tempt me, I’ve already got lawyers on call for that kind of shit
attribution motherfucker, attribution, I want linkage when you use that shit
oh. busted. Should I link to the post or to the comment?
Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Snatched Snizz
Sweet tits & ass on a Saturday…
This is bullshit.
We should get fucking emails.
This thread should probably be renamed The Snatch Fu Cage Match.
That post got a comment you know. Oh. My bad. That’s a trackback.
HEY! I love Encyclopedia Brown! He’s so smart. I found where they made comic books of him but I never could get a hold of any.
The friggin’ post! Wiki is worthless.
I came up with that shit. I was one of the first to say that, and I can give you lots of other links. I have the links. I have the damn links filed away for future reference. I have the links. The evidence is clear. You can’t hide it. Not like before.
This tool actually wrote a post?
Oh well. 50/50 shot Dan links it. Otherwise, all the traffic will be coming from the left — and docweasel will be the next useful idiot to act as a set up boy for Wolcott or tbogg.
Perhaps once they open up his ass for him, I can have first dibs on thought balloons…
Wiki is worthless but you can get the backstory of all the X-Men there going back forever. Also they teach you the difference between regular chocolate and white chocolate.
I see that the weasel, rather than taking my advice, has chosen to double down. I do not see this ending well.
The one on the left? I can totally see ‘the man in the boat.’
To have her ass so high in the air, she’s obviously been drinking plum wine.
Happy Feet! Did you take that picture?
If so… Where are you?
I punched in ‘3 hot beavers’ into my NAV system.
I’m driving around a lake in Wisconsin.
Stupid fucking Chevy Tahoe.
I’m in awe.
Doc Weasel knows a guy is where that pic came from I think. Who’s earned some sweet plum wine is that Mr. Phelps I think. His mom and dad must feel pretty good about all those swimming lessons and stuff. Boy they sure paid off.
damn right Jeff Goldsomething, I wrote that vegetable bowl post and you come waltzing in and write an identical gravy boat post. Well, its on. Prepare to be mocked mercilessly on our blog. I warned you, I gave you a chance to bitch out, as you so often do, but you chose to be cute about it. And by cute, I mean stupid. So don’t be cute again. Just walk away. Step off the landmine before it becomes your own petard and you are hoist into the hell that is the savage mockery that awaits you should you chose to, um, be cute. So there it is. It’s your choice man. You make it, or not.
Most disturbing tidbit to come of all this: docweasel’s illusions that anyone — least of all me — actually reads his site.
TITTIES!
“Perhaps once they open up his ass for him, I can have first dibs on thought balloons”…
Oooohhh…just in time for the Democratic Convention.
The butt grease, corn and peanuts pealed off the ‘ass thought’ balloons are ‘technically’ organic.
Tea bag a union and you can make a fortune ‘hot’ selling those at the Convention.
As fun as it has been to watch Phelps, I suspect that the media is going to attempt to overdose on him once he gets back to the States. Fortunately, I got my Ryder Cup tix in the mail today, so I have something to look forward to.
yeah right Jeff, THE FUCKING POST IS BACKTRACKED TO YOUR FRIGGIN’ SITE! THE POST YOU RIPPED OFF! IS LINKED! TO YOUR! SITE! so don’t tell me you don’t know what is going on when you clearly DO know what is up. That’s dog’s just not going to fly around here. Sell that misinformation on some other obscure cable series reference based blog. Because I’m not buying it, not in this comment box nor in a chat room nor in some long imagined chat program where you can see each other in a video window but you can pick icons for heads and you’ve got a clutch cargo type one where you’re laura croft but its your own lips moving when you talk and I’ve got cecil from beanie and cecil. Not even there.
ohnoes. I like Doc Weasel. Is that wrong?
Oh. Yes… Phelps has been a kick but as of tomorrow the Olympics are officially teh ghey again.
110 proof Goldschlager???
Isn’t that part of the Schludwiller Beer franchise?
happyfeet, I’d just hurt you in the end. I’d break your heart, like I’ve broken the heart of every decent broad who ever got involved with me and this whole crazy scene. Was it worth it? Hell, probably for the good times, the good times were worth it, when we’d go out to the country and the sun and the wind in your hair and the sand in your panties that time we did it behind the dune and those kids threw dead rotting horseshoe crabs down on top of us. God, how we laughed. But then there were the bad times, the dark times, and I think you nearly went mad with sorrow and terror at the sheer vacuousness of it all.
So don’t fall for me babe. If you don’t get hurt in the end, you’ll just have wasted a lot of time playing Stronghold Crusader. That’s the life awaiting any skirt who hooks up with the docdubbleyou.
And Carrie Walsh and Misty May. And Usain Bolt. But not Kyoto. And really not docweasel.
…hoist into the hell…
can this get any worse?
I don’t know whether to laugh my ass (quote bubbles) off and just sit back and enjoy the parody, or not.
Jeff, I gotta ask: is this real, or staged?
Inquiring minds want gotta know.
Then go spend your time at his site, happyfeet. Because yes, it is.
Doc Weasel is making me feel uncomfortable now.
He has a flying dog and that’s cool.
So there’s that.
No staging, serr8d. Just docweasel realizing that he’s gotta become all Andy Kaufman to try to salvage a bad situation.
Happyfeet’s a buyer. I’m a seller.
Put your money where you think best.
He was really mean to SarahW, too. That’s hard to get passed.
Dead horseshoe crabs would hurt.
past. Jeez.
or passed. I’m confuzzled now.
Pick a horse, happy, and back it.
Weasel – now would be a good time to go to bed. Really. Or start drinking cheap gin by the gallon, so you can blame it on the booze.
Morning will come but we’ll not have seen the last of Doc Weasel. Call it destiny I think.
yeah, well Jeff is starting to feel the heat now. You know, For that I have laid by my enormous, pulsating wit and plodded like a blogger for working-days?
But I will rise there with so full a blog post that I will dazzle all the eyes of the protein wisdom belly-crawlers
Yes, and strike the Goldstein blind to look at our uploaded images.
And tell the pleasant blogmeister that this mock of his
Has turned his bulleted text to hyperlinks, and his hit-counter will stand under-performing on the big stats chart for the wasteful silliness that shall parse with them: for many a thousand lines of type shall this his mock mock out of their proper mark-up language;
mock commenters from their comment form, mock postcounts down;
And some blog posts that are yet unthunk of and unstolen from other blogs by Jeff G. that shall have cause to curse protein wisdom’s scorn.
But this lies all within the awesome power of docweaselblog,
to whom the websurfers do appeal; and in whose name
Tell you Jeff, I am coming on, to make sport of you I may and to type forth my rightful mocking and fanciful postings and images of 18 year old nymphets in various states of undress that will cause you to cringe in terror and embarrassment at your pitiful state, and I do this in a well-self-justified cause.
So go on with your bad self, commenters, and tell Jeff his little jest will satify his soul with its tiny wit for a bit, When thousands of commenters and blog readers sigh with ennui more than did laugh at it. Go on with safe conduct. Fare you well.
Exeunt Ambassadors
I just find it hard to believe that a lowlife porno-sort could even think he could try to pass off his ‘work’ as, you know, something even semi-intellectual. Robert Heinlein he’s not.
If DW’s not parody, then he’s not worth reading. He’s alternating between mean assholism and sorta-funny snark but the meanness shines more because it’s his natural.
No wonder Ace considered banning him.
yeah, and then he APOLOGIZED TO ME so get it right
http://minx.cc/?post=259154
Oh listen to Jeff. Dude, you been outed and you’re acting all high and mighty: let’s go back.
You make a post, supposedly mocking me and our blog (I don’t post all the posts, its a group blog where we cowardly fashion all blog under one name and don’t reveal who posts what)
You take one of our images and make the jest that we make pretentious posts surrounded by naked girls, and that makes us unaware of our own fatuous bullshit.
But I reveal that we posted a nearly identical image making the same point, making fun of ourselves. Coincidentally or not, your blog links to that post. So basically, the fact that we made fun of ourselves a couple months ago in the exact same fashion as you did today kind of renders your parody toothless. And it opens you to the charge you lifted our idea for your little joke. Maybe you didn’t, but the fact we laughed at ourselves in virtually the same way pretty much makes your slam toothless.
We straight now? Because in a lame attempt at playing defense you and your minions have accused me of anti-semitism, misogyny, pretentiousness, etc. I’m fucking with you and playing along, and you get this serious “oh he’s totally pwned now and he’s trying to get out of it” which is bullshit. You’re comment threads are as meaningless as anything on the web. Ooo, I’m in it now, Jeff is besting me verbally? So fucking what? Unlike some of these dimwits, I don’t live or die by my rep on this comment thread. I like Karl, but the fact he got in high dudgeon and left because of what someone said on a comment thread is stupid and laughable. This is what I was on about in my original semi-serious post. You guys take yourselves way too seriously. You think what you write here has some sort of meaning or lasting power. Hey, it doesn’t. I close the window, you are dead to me, just as “thor” should have been to Karl. Jeff G. admonished me that I should read the comments thread because of all the intelligent discourse that transpires here. Well, I don’t see shit. I take that back, I do. It’s all bullshit.
For fuck’s sake, get over yourself. You blog, people respond, good. That doesn’t mean ANYTHING in real life. When we close the browser, your “power” ends in our lives. You are the emperor of nothing.
And watch out happyfeet. You said something vaguely supportive of me in one comment, and now Jeff is on your ass. You may get on the commentthread shitlist! Oooo scary! Better backtrack and say I’m a bad person and scary and a bigot and all their other charges to try to dismiss anything I say.
Jesus fuck. At long last, Jesus fuck.
An awful lot of poetic-y words — all kinda off-center and oblique — to say, “I’ve got titties and bare snatch at my blog. Plus, Dan likes me!”
You can’t hit me, and I’m only throwing batting practice. Get yourself a good cup, docweasel.
Doc Weasel, do you feel alienated? I think Doc Weasel feels alienated.
I guess creepy is in the &c. part.
Get over myself? I think you’ve taken supposedly being over yourself to the point of obsession. Which, like, doesn’t come off as being over yourself. Technically.
when the fuck did I meention dan? Where? In all the above comments, on our blog, where did I drag Dan into this? Because you have this sick fucking thing where “you’re with me or you’re agin me” like where you get on happyfeet’s ass up there, so you’d love to bust on Dan because I’m invoking him as a supporter, well, guess what, I didn’t, I won’t and I don’t drag other people into shit. Which, this is turning out to be. A little jest in response what I thought was your little jest. You are the fucking KING of over-reaction, thin-skinned instant rage and making a federal case out of nothing, my god, just like the fucking armadillo thing, where you felt someone somewhere had over stepped their bounds and you were damn sure going to assert your executive authority and make a big fucking deal over it and make everyone choose sides and punish those who weren’t on yours.
Jesus christ you are a fucking mental case. Remind me not to play with you anymore. I thought it might be funny to do a fake blog feud, but you are a fucking mental case. What are you going to do, hunt me down IRL now? I’m out. So much for having a little fun with something. I certainly didn’t take umbrage that you made fun of us, I was flattered actually and thought it was funny.
Another potential funny situation turns to shit. The flaming armadillo all over again. Get help, really. I don’t know how you live day to day with your attitude toward things.
I’m still in awe.
I’m sure DocWeasel has a lot of charm and warm qualities when he’s not been alienated.
Wait, was that, like, serious?
I think it was.
Which means I think I retain my title as the only real Andy K round these parts.
GO JEFF!
So Docweasel is permanent sockpuppet?
We are so amused.
hah! I baited you and YOU fell for it. See what I did there? You thought I was going one way and I went the other. Fucking PWNED motherfucker!!111eleven
Oh, I think you’re wrong. The poison was in both goblets. I just spent a lot of time building up a tolerance.
You can’t win. I had you in checkmate months before you were born. Freedom comes only once you understand that.
SEEK BLESSED RELIEF! FREE YOUR SOUL!
Plus: TITTIES!
TH1S posted long before your post today and LINKED by your friggin own blog pretty much renders this entire post useless, so I have nothing else to say on the matter. If you’re going to mock us, at least do so in a way we haven’t already used to mock ourselves, and in almost an identical fashion. It’s hard to believe you didn’t see it and copy it, seeing as you are backtracked to it and you’re presumably aware of your own backtracks, even if you didn’t do the post that linked it. Like George Harrison says, think for yourself. I’m out, this is boring now. If you had played along it might have been fun but you can’t help being an ass and ruining the game. It’s like you have this control issue and must rule and thwart anyone else’s attempts at fun, even if you directly addressed them in the first place.
If you listen very carefully, you can hear the duck quacking inside the wolf’s belly, because the wolf in his hurry had swallowed him alive.
us…we…
It’s a fucking 20-headed sock-hydra or something!
carp, Obama is black!!!???
yeah ser8ed, no comment on the apology from Ace, huh? after you tried to smear me? you were totally wrong, right? own up, motherfucker.
Nahhh, I’m a Mormon.
You fucking asshole.
I didn’t see it.
But it’s possible you saw my post from 2002, internalized it, and are paying homage to me — which is only right, given that you are a poorman’s version of what I would be if I weren’t as good as I am.
But with titties, though. I’m not a hater. That part is on you — and is unquestionably genius.
Plus, not to be a dick or anything, but that’s like, the third or fourth time you’ve proclaimed that you’re “out” — yet here you are, yammering away, trying to undo shit that can’t be undone.
Not even with Dan’s help.
Dan? Again?
Heh.
Watch ol’ Andy bob and weave, bitch.
Okay, maybe this is more like Ace Ventura vs. Zoolander.
Or something.
Your images? Really? I still want to know if you’re giving Lightspeed Media any “attribution”, or are just ::ahem:: borrowing their images.
No, that’s not right. Ace Ventura was Jim Carrey, not Andy Kaufman. And Ben Stiller can be funny.
Who am I thinking of?
Then again, Jim Carrey did play Andy Kaufman, so maybe I’m not way off base.
I came into this late, and I don’t get it.
There’s hot, naked ass on the home page, and we’re fighting over who’s it is?
Why?
I’m lost.
And I don’t give a shit.
It’s gonna be Sunday in 10 minutes and then I’m gonna have to ‘cross myself’ just to look at that picture of God’s sweet, sweet work.
So work it out or shut up for a minute!
‘Smearing’ a porno-king. Heh.
BTW, ‘Doc’, (or one of the sub-Docs, or mini-Docs, or whatever tiny Doc-bit-part you’re subletting out here tonight) where’s your site disclaimer?
“U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement”
Porn sites need that. Ask Lightspeed; maybe you can ‘borrow’ theirs.
Ok, it’s Sunday.
That’s awful Jeff. I can’t believe you posted that. Regardless of where it came from.
Got that out’a the way. Now they’re just naked Catholic buttocks…(with sweet, sweet honey pots…damnit!).
Fine. I’ll skip Confessional.
Doc Weasel must be right, because you haven’t written much.
I got that right, no. You’re accused of some kinda nudie girl ‘plagiarism?’
Priceless.
I’m not sucking the man’s cock quite yet Doc, but what’s in your side bar again?
“Jeff needed to steal from you?”
Ok.
See the chick on the right?
Ass high?
That’s you.
Let it go, dude.
247 posts, I show up, and then everybody goes to sleep?
Ok. I see how it is.
Jeff’s thoughtless, evil, naked hot girl ass post has forced me to surf late night, drunken, can’t hep’ myself, online pron for the first time.
Ever.
In which my credit card will be charged for the 16th time.
But those first 15 times were a robbery!
I never went to ‘Phat Asses.com’!!
That’s bullshit.
It was ‘Badonkadonk Blondes.’
But I never gave my credit card number.
That’s crazy.
A Mexican stole my identity.
Yeah, sure. I paid for it.
Got’a keep up my credit rating and shit (but, I dunno that Mexican).
…(mumble)…dunnowhothatguycoulda’been…(mumble)…
ser8ed:
overturned, dumbass
http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-9803929-38.html
do you ever get tired of being wrong all the time. I hate to keep posting links that make you look ever stupider than you are.
And morons, learn to read. I’m not complaining about him stealing the image, I was trying to be humorous, complaining he stole our gag, then tried to use it to mock us, when we were using it to mock ourselves. Kind of takes the sting out of it, plus it makes him look like an idiot. I guess I hit a nerve when I mocked him in the comments the other day, and this was his weak retaliation. He steals our gag, then posts it as his own. Do you really think I was serious I was going to sue? But don’t try to run a joke here unless Jeff controls the situation.
I tried to make a running gag and be humorously outraged by it, but Jeff can’t play anyway outside of his insular PW framework – he feels threatened by anything he didn’t think up or completely control, much like his hissy fit over the flaming weasel. Or his constant bitch-fights with his co-bloggers, in which he was always quick to point out he was not a co-blogger, but OWNER OF THE SITE!!
So, I withdraw. I thought it might be funny to have a fake blogwar. Its impossible to do anything like that because Jeff has to control everything and everything said has to be predicated on the premise that he’s fucking smarter and funnier and superior to everyone, so any jibes at his expense are not tolerated, he has to smash a fly with a sledgehammer to keep that from happening.
But I still think he’s a fucking mental case and thin-skinned to the point of psychosis. He can jab at people, but god help you if you jab back, even in jest. Instead of showing even a tiny bit of wit or going with it, he calls me an anti-semite and starts trying to drag other people into the nightmare. Then finally, when he’s turned anything that could have been fun or funny to shit, he claims he was being Andy Kaufman. Even Andy Kaufman wasn’t very successful at that shit, and he pissed off and irritated a lot more people than he entertained, and Jeff is no Andy kaufman, so his average is likely to be even worse on that score.
I can certainly see why he disbanded the great group of bloggers he had here. It all makes sense. Who to lash out at now?
Get help Goldstein, you’re a fucking headcase.
“Get help Goldstein, you’re a fucking headcase.”
Wow.
That’s just stupid.
I’m gonna revisit all this when I’m sober…say, Tuesday.
On the one hand Doc, I can appreciate that your (possibly drunk) angry…and totally being a crybaby asshole.
On the other hand, in stumbling through the thread, Jeff…you called out happyfeet and demanded he “take a side?”
WTF?
Dude? The guy that’s been with you for the better part of a decade, just doing his normal thing (being nice to all, funny, witty, and trying to make the world gel)?
When your best man gave the toast at your wedding, did you shoot his kness and call him a ‘cocksucker?’
You train as a fighter.
The few guys that’re that long and that deep in your corner are on your fucking side.
I dunno happyfeet from a hole in the ground (I’m sure he didn’t stand up at your wedding, and I’m sure me taliking about him pisses him off to no end), but I know calling him out for nothing is just as ‘asshole’ as the nudie “I made fun of it/us first” bullshit-nonsense from Weasel.
Tell me to fuck off. Fine.
I’m a listless idiot. I’ll manage.
As far as I’m concerned DocWeasel is a sniveling pussy, and I’m sure this little row will turn out poorly for him.
But a handful here (and I ain’t one of ’em) have earned your respect.
Give happyfeet a ‘pound,’ and make it right. And, no matter how mad you get at some other off-site dillhole, don’t do that shit again… unless it’s really deserved.
Or do. It’s your sandbox, man.
docweasel did not take my advice. Pity.
Doc. little advice here. Try not to lean into the punches.
BTW. Dialog baloons coming out of naked womans loins is so old Hustler stole it from some other porn purveyor. Screw, I think.They stole it from someone else. Don’t flatter yourself. You’re not that creative.
This has some overly familiar echoes of a recent donnybrook involving Enoch Root. docweasel, don’t you know that you’re ripping off a few days ago?
“BTW. Dialog baloons coming out of naked womans loins is so old Hustler stole it from some other porn purveyor. Screw, I think.”
But…but…I grossed everybody out with the potential of naked chick balloon butt grease, and…peanuts…and, corn…
I’m a porn purveyor too, damnit!
Wind.
Sails.
Out of.
You guys suck.
Thanks a lot.
Oh, hehe, I get it. Nothing’s funnier than threatening legal action and making directed insults at people who are barely connected to the thread.
It’s like this one time, when the homeless guy down the street killed my cat and left the entrails spread over my car spelling out the word, “spoon.” That guy was a riot.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go take a hilarious turd in the middle of the living room. I’m that dedicated to funny.
This thread has had more ass than a toilet seat. I’m not just talking about pics.
I don’t know what’s real anymore.
Woke up in a startle, because it was nearly 10 and Monday.
Instead its a lazy Sunday with homemade oat waffles with fresh cherries.
What, you’ve never fought with another guy over a girl’s ass?
buttweasel’s kinda obsessed. There has to be a better way of ginning up traffic for his pron site. Hey smutweasel, maybe if you rename your site assthoughtbubble.com!
docweasel has made fun of himself. So mocking him has no sting.
No, really. Just ask him.
Me, I’ve never done such a thing. So when I’m mocked for being too inside basebally, I just LASH OUT!
— Or, you know, put the quotes in my rotating blurb file. Because I take it so to heart — and that helps me relive the OUTRAGE! and drives me to work harder and better at making the free shit I give away more friendly for the dull consumer.
I’ve done been pegged!
EXCELSIOR!
As for the comment to happyfeet — I was put in mind of a great scene from an episode of NYPD Blue and thought it might be fun to rehearse it here. The context was too perfect. Couldn’t help myself.
I have pop-culture OCD.
That would make for an interesting cartoon.
Me:
Hot Naked Ass:
Me:
Well, maybe I’ll rent a copy of Chatterbox.
I thought it might be funny to have a fake blogwar.
Funny. Yeah, tell that to SarahW.
Why would Jeff want to have a blogwar with a pr0n site? For the fraternization? Did you really expect a link?
This was more Docweasel(s) desperately seeking credence.
Self-mocking ass thought bubbles. Brilliant! Why didn’t I think of that?
Holy crap. Obama talks about Clarence Thomas and elevation.
Elevation?
Clarence Thomas is *gathp* melanous.
But Barry’s only half-melanous. He too must be seeking credence.
Also, I can’t believe I just typed “melanous” in a comment thread about ass.
I denounce myself.
Also, Jim in KC: “Snatched from the pages of docweasel, I presume?”
Awful. Just.
Hey, denounce me too! I need a good pigment stigmatization!
“You’re denounced, Serr8d,” he said, wearily.
See that? That’s performative utterance.
Thanks! A lingerer.
Good for the entire week, that one.
Silent, but deadly.
That one, Dan, I just somehow couldn’t help.
So maybe the armadillo drives a FLAMING PLYMOUTH POOTER!
That oughta be unironical enough for just about anyone, I should think.
And that rhymes with Hooters.
Trouble in River City.
#270 Just saw the clip at Hot Air. Priceless.
Everytime I think I can forgive O’s hubris, he gets that snakey look on his face. It’s most unappealing.
Actually, I kinda like the balloons. They have a sort of melted, soft marshmallow look that conceptually enhances the graceful curves of jailbait cootch.
I mean, just think of what you could do with all that marshmallow!
‘SMORES!!!!11!!
And that, dear friends, is where true art emerges. Jeff is an effin’ genius. I knew it!
“docweasel has made fun of himself.”
I blame jewjitsu.
Comment by David Warner on 8/17 @ 10:41 am #
“docweasel has made fun of himself.â€Â
I blame jewjitsu.
He’s mentally double jointed!
…”I was put in mind of a great scene from an episode of NYPD Blue”….
It better have had Bobby Simone in it.
Reminds me of the ‘Who’d you Rather Do?’ scene from “Family Guy.”
What?!
You’re the only one who can reminisce about a ‘scene?’
Anyway, you got hotness and money security with Johnny Depp, but Richard Greco would totally love you and treat you better.
I was sooooooo holding out for Jimmy Smits.
Drunken bufoons never mentioned him.
Stupid, selfish assholes.
Especially that ‘Quagmire.’
Fuck. I’m Stewey.
Get me out of this comment.
…”drives me to work harder and better at making the free shit I give away more friendly for the dull consumer.”
Dull consumers?
Feel your oats all you want Hymie, but we’ll be watchin’… lest you throw up any ‘Dollar Store’ bullshit.
Don’t chu cut your eyes at me.
Jewboy.
Obama’s gonna take good care of your potato pancake eatun’ ass.
DC are you still yammering? you must have no life at all, seriously, you have what, 20 posts in this thread? Do you just sit there hitting F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5 and responding? That’s sad. You’re life is sad. Seriously, get away from the monitor and do something worthwhile or just shoot yourself, because living that sad a life hurts those around you, people you love are damaged by your sickness. Plus you are a moron, so really there is no help of bettering yourself.
…
With a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pooter.
Oh, and apologies to Eric in Atlanta for nicking the F5 bit.
Meredith Wilson, too.
This just in, Larry Flynt and National Lampoon in court fight over who gets to sue Jeff AND Docweasel first…!
Tureen !!!
God! I hate that stuff, because I know that my only remaining function related to young poot is to drool. I feel sort of like a dog straining at the end of it’s chain. Arf! Arf! ARF! Sometimes its murder when I work in the bars.
You know. Grampaw goes a-courtin’.
I can’t even go to the beach anymore, because within two minutes, my knees melt. I live in a a very wealthy area, and the little girls around here have the money to dress like movie stars, and they wear microdots for bathing suits.
I went to my friends house the other day, and I couldn’t even bring myself to look at his sixteen year old daughter. When I told him that, he laughed and said that he had to lock himself in his studio when his daughters brought their friends over.
I would never lift a hand, but after all those years of making fun of “dirty old men” it’s hard to accept that I have finally become one. “Those that talk, don’t know. Those that know, don’t talk”. And I find myself talking a lot, lately.
And the worst thing is that two weeks after I got my first computer (many years ago), I was burnt out on porn. Every time I looked at it after that, I couldn’t help but ask myself: “What is wrong with these people?”. Not a great way to advance a fantasy, eh?
I wonder, though, if Spoodgeweasel (I like that one) knows the true secret of porn on the net?
Newsgroups, you dummy. It’s all there, and it’s free.
And no. Not you Lamont.
Sometimes it’s hard adjusting to geezerdom.
Anybody who pisses off docweasel gets a +15 from me.
Uuuuummmmm.. I don’t quite know what to make of this.
Although (full disclosure) I didn’t bother to hit the link.
cumweasel is no more than a bean burrito fart!
docweasel –
How come you put all that teen tang on there, but I have yet to see even one little man in the boat?
Get thyself to a newsgroup server, and then figure out which sites are the ones you want, Hint: The “good” ones are never named what you would expect (and there are over a hundred thousand of them). Try to find a server that doesn’t display your IP, and get thyself “BC Wipe”, or “Evidence Eliminator”. Your hard drive is like diaphanous tissue to the law.
I am too old for that stuff, but if you follow my advice, you will be gagging on teen tang within two weeks. What I like the best about the “teen” stuff, is that most of those virgin teens are about 45 years old, and are sporting mucho gristle where their “units” are supposed to be.
And in two weeks, you will join me in the “Jeebus, what a bunch of pigs” club. Guaranteed.
Take it from a long ago burnt out ex-newsgrouper.
This is a public service announcement.
HF,
#77. Don’t sweat it. I don’t care anymore about a guy who’s hands are slippery for a good part of the day than I do about skin pigment. It’s all fodder.
Diversity IS hilarity!
Another public service announcement.
UUmmm..Dan? #75?
What are you talking about? i DON’T GET IT…
Oh. And Dan?
Is Sweet Pie still around in Vermont? I haven’t seen him since the late seventies, right after the Vermont legislature passed a law that forced him to wear panty hose.
I guess they were upset with him when he would play his shows wearing only a film can.
“…to the other idiot: this is no joke, Im seriously pissed and I’m thinking of taking legal action.”
Spoodgeweasel,
You should be kissing Jeff’s ass for the exposure. Lighten up, moose porker. Nobody but people who are too stupid to find free porn on their own even has a clue who you are.
But now everybody at PW knows exactly who you are.
Bummer, huh?
AND WHERE ARE THE LITTLE MEN IN THE BOATS, MONKEY SPANKER?
Whooooeeeeee! Ain’t the “doc” a major lover of self? I am always impressed with truly humble people. I hope your dick reaches your butt, because I’m sure that would be the ultimate sexual experience for you.
With your attitude doc, you have probably never seen any “teens” that were under 40 years old, and didn’t have their panties filled with “bubble gum”.
And if you have seen any real teens, you should be in jail at best. But I’m sure being ashamed of yourself is out of the question. Hubris is always a good thing to have, don’t ya think? I mean, it’s pretty obvious that you, and you alone invented ass bubbles, and have clear title to them.
Poor, poor Jeff!
And, I hate to say this, but I don’t think you are going to break Feets heart. He’s a pretty resiliant guy. And much smarter than you, much to everybody’s chagrin (HO HO).
Sorry. No broken hearts (or notches on your cooze stick) at PW. You appear to be just about smart enough to serve us drinks. But only if you wear the white waiter’s jacket. And don’t forget the Petrone, boy.
WOW!
That was sort of like a “Lost Dog” blizzard, wasn’t it?
Sorry.
Later, gators.
just for fun
yes, come up.