Search






Jeff's Amazon.com Wish List

Archive Calendar

November 2024
M T W T F S S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930  

Archives

9 most popular cable TV programs / John Edwards pick-up lines

  1. “If what’s happening in my pants is any indication, the movement to shrink torts is dead in the water.”
  2. “You and me, we’re meant to be together. And I know this because the spirit of a bunch of dead babies told me so.”
  3. “The Closer”
  4. “The Sopranos”
  5. “I object! — to just how beautiful you are. On the grounds that it’s just not fair to all the other women in the world.”
  6. (Tie) “Monk” / “You know, as an officer of the court, I’m allowed to carry handcuffs. So tell me: have you been a naughty little whore?”
  7. “So, what do you think? Up for a little ‘Brown sugar vs. Johnny’s board of education’…?”
  8. “Curb Your Enthusiasm”
  9. (Tie) “Deadwood” / “My wife is home, hooked up to a chemical drip. And that hurts me. As a man. So. You wanna, like, fuck, or something…? — to help me relieve the pain and whatnot?”

462 Replies to “9 most popular cable TV programs / John Edwards pick-up lines”

  1. Judd says:

    I think #1 is a title of an episode of Matlock, so it fits in both categories.

  2. Pablo says:

    Christ, it’s good to have you back, Jeff.

  3. McGehee says:

    # “If what’s happening in my pants is any indication, the movement to shrink torts is dead in the water.”

    Must not be cold water.

  4. The Monster says:

    If 6 is a tie, there is no 7; it should be labeled 8, etc. This is actually the 11 most popular (there is also no 11, because 10 is a tie as well).

  5. SarahW says:

    Climb up on that slab , John; lay there an hug your special place in politics.

  6. Jeff G. says:

    None of this is actually, you know, real, The Monster. So I wouldn’t sweat the details too much were I you.

  7. Clint says:

    I’ve only seen one episode, but I don’t think “Monk” would use a like word like “whore”, is that really a tie?

    For my money, 2 & 4 should be reversed.

  8. happyfeet says:

    Mr. Edwards never had him the experience or judgment to be President but the media pretended anyway. They pretended really hard. It’s scary to think what might have happened if he’d been entrusted with real power.

  9. cranky-d says:

    The few times I get comments to my stuff, there is nothing I like more than someone dropping by to correct me. I’ll tell you, it makes my day.

  10. […] Ladies and gentlemen, Jeff Goldstein. […]

  11. Judd says:

    At first I thought #7 was racist, but then I got it.

  12. The Monster says:

    That’s OK. I’m not really a monster, at least not in the modern sense of the word. I know it’s extra work to do ties right in HTML ordered lists, but it’s one less thing for the Wolcotts of the world to point at as proof of what knuckle-dragging morons we are.

    I do, however, really appreciate your adroit use of the subjunctive, which is in decline.

  13. The Monster says:

    Clint; a tie probably won’t leave a mark on the wrists like a handcuff, uh, probably does. Probably. I’ve heard.

  14. McGehee says:

    Mr. Edwards never had him the experience or judgment to be President but the media pretended anyway.

    Just like they’ve been pretending lately about another Democrat. And just like they pretended back in 1976.

    I suspect a theme.

  15. B Moe says:

    You know, if Edwards political career is indeed over, perhaps he could move to Hollywood and star in a new version of Matlock.

  16. Carin says:

    Hey baby,wanna go back to my place and brush my hair?

  17. Sdferr says:

    Besides his political career, it would maybe be sweet if his license to practice lying law went away as well.

  18. docweasel says:

    wtf? what is up with the last 3 posts? Did jeff always post like this and I just didn’t notice because I don’t differentiate between posters?

    Not funny, not interesting, desperately off-center, awkward and forced obscurity and conceptual and just a pointless waste of time. And all the commenters smugly digging it and congratulating jeff and themselves on their other-worldly hipness and coolness in basking in such obscure and edgy and inside the club wonderfulness is just annoying and asinine. I just want to slap the smirk off every one of you.

    Ugh. What blog did the guesters move to so I can bookmark that blog in my daily folder. With occasional deviations, they posted about real things in a sentient manner than didn’t require the protein wisdom codebook of hip references to figure out. This stuff is just a waste of pixels man. I haven’t seen one post on pw for almost a week now that is even worth reading. This over-the-top conceptual shit may be considered hipster chic and cute and the epitome of inside, with it, members only, etc. by pw comment thread regulars but its not. It’s just bullshit. The whole gravy boat post is a good example. Wtf is that? Its not funny. It has no real insights into the matter. Its cyber yammering. The Isaac Hayes post. All that for one not very funny joke. Stuff like that doesn’t rate a blog post. You’re not working. You’re just typing.

    Did you always blog like this? If so, I don’t care for it. It’s not intelligent or insightful or even entertaining. It’s just oh so post modern “I’m so cool and inside joke and pw cliquey that if you aren’t one of the cool kids you probably aren’t hip enough to get my obscure outside the box unique above all you mortals humor and blogging mastery, and if you don’t agree it’s just because you aren’t as sophisticated as us kool kids.”

    Stupid and pointless, imho. Jeff’s an intelligent guy, you can do better than this. Lay off all this crap you have to have been reading the blog from day one and be a regular comments thread denizen to understand. It’s not nearly as urbane and witty as you seem to think it is, it’s just deperately, cloyingly, thuddingly dull dull dull dull it’s so desperately dull and tedious and stuffy and boring and des-per-ate-ly DULL.

    Unless of course, you yourself are an extremely dull person. You see, judging by your recent posts, our experts describe you as an appallingly dull fellow, unimaginative, timid, lacking in initiative, spineless, easily dominated, no sense of humour, tedious company and irrepressibly drab and awful. And whereas in most professions these would be considerable drawbacks, in hipster blogging circles they are a positive boon.

  19. Carin says:

    Happy’s #8 – well, apparently he was following in Mr. Clinton’s footsteps.

    I’m always weary of those “drunk on power” types. Sure, politics is full of ’em. I guess I’m looking for someone who appears merely tipsy. Sober enough that I’d still let them drive me home.

    Baracky? Not so much. His propaganda posters (and those the media willingly volunteers) scare me.

  20. happyfeet says:

    I disagree.

  21. happyfeet says:

    oh. With Weasel person.

  22. SarahW says:

    What’s that about my hips?!

  23. Patrick says:

    Docweasel,
    One of two options. One, your post is a parody, albeit a bad one. Two, you are an obnoxious assweasel and should be eaten by rabid raccoons.

    I’ll hang up and listen to your answer.

  24. happyfeet says:

    It’s just weird how he takes five times as much text to tediously describe something he finds tedious as it took to write the stuff he found tedious in the first place.

  25. The Lost Dog says:

    Comment by B Moe on 8/15 @ 2:33 pm #

    You know, if Edwards political career is indeed over, perhaps he could move to Hollywood and star in a new version of Matlock.

    .

    Hey, B. Moe.

    Or he could go to Disney Land and join the Jonas Brothers.

    Oh. And B Moe.

    Check out youtube -helwigs. It ain’t me (the girl that posted it has the hots for this guy Chris), but it is my band. You can’t see much (cell phone recording, but you can get an idea).

    Chris is a smokin’ good player.

    I would have rather done this through myspace, but my computer freezes every time I try to go there. Bums me out, because now I can’t make fun of all the spammer chicks who “want to be my friend”…

  26. Lance says:

    This reminds me a lot of a certain wingnut Republican politician, Larry Craig, who had a propensity for soliciting gay sex. At least most Democrats who stray are heterosexual.

  27. Carin says:

    To belabor the point – latest Time magazine had THREE editorials about Obamessiah. THREE.
    Joe Klein “The best way for Obama to defend against the McCain campaign’s attacks is to start a real conversation.”
    Joel Stein “The Swing Voter. She’s old and Jewish and lives in Florida. How I think I got my grandmother to vote for Obama.”
    Nancy Gibbs “In Dog we Trust” which is a fluff piece about what type of dog Obama should pick when he gets to the white house.

    You know, I don’t want to throw wild accusations, but I suspect Time is in the can for Obama.

  28. happyfeet says:

    Larry Craig didn’t solicit gay sex he just likes sucking dick in bathrooms or something. Strange man, really, with odd compulsions. But this thing with Edwards doesn’t remind me of that. It’s really a whole different deal I think.

  29. Sdferr says:

    As mechanical fasteners go, I kinda always admired wingnuts as a brilliant invention, really. Heck, I still use them where appropriate.

  30. Carin says:

    First, Doc, sorry you are disappointed but don’t let the door hit you in the ass …

    Second. Lance. I don’t even know what to make of that comment. James McGreevey ring a bell?

  31. TmjUtah says:

    In the can?

    The CAN?

    If he tapped his toes in an airport toilet stall , it would turn into the biggest press conference in history.

    Not much “suspect” in the question, ma’am. Just my opinion.

  32. cranky-d says:

    I’m guess docweasel will be leaving us now. Bye bye!

  33. cranky-d says:

    Well, that was quite ungrammatical.

  34. BJTexs says:

    #30: Yea, Carin, or Barney Frank or Gerry Studds or …

  35. Bender Bending Rodriguez says:

    At least most Democrats who stray are heterosexual.

    Please write to the DNC and make this the Dem’s campaign slogan for the upcoming election.

    “At Least We’re Not Faggots. Vote Democrat.”

  36. Carin says:

    HA, BBR! I lurv it!

  37. Sdferr says:

    “…who stray…”

    The list of male homosexuals “who stray” must be something to behold. Have there been just lots and lots who don’t? Or is that one of those oxy-moronic sorts of concepts about which we needn’t worry?

  38. happyfeet says:

    Who else is gay is that Wesley Clark.

  39. happyfeet says:

    You can tell by how he hates lesbians so much. And the hair.

  40. SarahW says:

    He also has teh gay face. It’s in the bones.
    No one ever believes me there is such a thing but it’s for real.

  41. happyfeet says:

    You’re right. Lindsey Graham has that too.

  42. Jeff G. says:

    docweasel —

    I’m sure there are folks out there who find your flaming armadillo graphics superb bits of comedic art. You should play with them, I think. But while we’re on the subject, I just need to know: has someone told you that you are required to read certain sites? Because, you know, that’s not really true.

    Hope I freed you up for more substantive pursuits. Like, for instance, making flaming armadillo graphics based off one of my unfunny hipster ideas. Which, I notice, you leeched onto like a geeky party crasher to the keg spout.

    Now. Head back to your site and write a nice nasty post about me. Shoo.

    Did you always blog like this? If so, I don’t care for it. It’s not intelligent or insightful or even entertaining. It’s just oh so post modern “I’m so cool and inside joke and pw cliquey that if you aren’t one of the cool kids you probably aren’t hip enough to get my obscure outside the box unique above all you mortals humor and blogging mastery, and if you don’t agree it’s just because you aren’t as sophisticated as us kool kids.”

    Hmmm. I like to think of it as oh so “this is what I feel like posting today, and if docweasel doesn’t like it, he get himself his own blog.

    ” — or rather, one that people actually read.”

    But that’s just me being all, like, meta and shit.

  43. Jeff G. says:

    I just want to slap the smirk off every one of you.

    Do it with a flaming armadillo graphic. Those things are boss!

  44. Jeff G. says:

    Q: “What do you get when you cross ‘docweasel’ and a bag of Sour Cream and Onion Ruffles?”

    A: “A bag of Sour Cream and Onion Ruffles and a guy nobody’s heard of.”

  45. Pablo says:

    So, are you like a homophobe or something, Lance?

  46. Jeff G. says:

    Q: How many docweasels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    A: Who the fuck is ‘docweasel’?

  47. Rob Crawford says:

    Doesn’t Doc Weasel make sex toys?

  48. Mikey NTH says:

    Someone really got docweasel upset.
    It can’t be that different posters and commenters have differeing styles, can it?
    Jeff is not Dan is not Darleen is not Karl etc.

    I post occaisionally at Cold Fury, but I am not Mike Hendrix (hence the NTH – Not the Host) by a long shot.

    Accept the individual variations or don’t bother to read that person or that site.

  49. Jeff G. says:

    Sample docweasel post, from his site:

    Wikipedia is a great source of info about computer games and 80’s sit-coms. Anything political is so biased left-ward as to be farcical rather than factual.

    The hell you say!

    That’s fascinating!

  50. Mikey NTH says:

    Unless those individuals lead to threadjacking – then have at them! Double-shot canister! Fire!

  51. Jeff G. says:

    Christ, I just took a look at this clown’s site. Turgid prose interspersed with internet porn. Lots and lots of pics of young girls nekkid.

    Oh well. Those who can’t, teach.

    Slap that lap, docweasel!

  52. SevenEleventy says:

    Doesn’t Doc Weasel make sex toys?

    Yeah, isn’t it called the “gardenweasel”?

  53. Jeff G. says:

    It’s like, an armadillo. But it’s bursting out in flames, man! Get it?

  54. happyfeet says:

    I don’t ever smirk I don’t think. New Girl can see me from where she sits in her office and she says I always make the face of whatever little yahoo messenger face I’m sending, so maybe that’s what he’s picking up on.

  55. scooter (still not libby) says:

    The armadillo is gay? I honestly didn’t know.

  56. dicentra says:

    Remind me to never get on your bad side, Jeff.

  57. Jeff G. says:

    Well, my armadillo ain’t. Least, I don’t think so.

    But docweasel took it upon himself at one point to make up a bunch of graphics for the “protein wisdom armadillo” — if I wasn’t going to make it dance, docweasel would. As a gift to Dan.

    This site is as much docweasel’s as it is mine, I guess. And right now, he’s just not happy with my work ethic.

    Gee. I sure hope he doesn’t fire me.

  58. SevenEleventy says:

    He’s a quasi-pornographer. Bet he dresses up in a little furry weasel suit, ala lamb cannon.

  59. scooter (still not libby) says:

    I seem to recall posting something recently about this place not being a public service. I’m in Pablo’s camp. Guess docweasel is not; give him his damn money back.

  60. happyfeet says:

    Instapundit has a picture of a giant blue monkey. Maybe docweasel would like that more better.

  61. Jeff G. says:

    The flames, they, like, engulf the armadillo! It’s a sign of his power. Clear enough? What don’t you understand about my genius, Mr Obscurantist…?

  62. Jeff G. says:

    HE BURNS WITH HIS ARMADILLO POWERS! JESUS! THINK, PEOPLE!

  63. BJTexs says:

    Heard at docweasal’s site:

    INCOMING!!!!!!!

  64. Aldo says:

    In my travels in the intratubes I come across blogs all the time that don’t interest me. I just move on. It never occurred to me to stop and write a lengthy negative review of the site in the comments section.

    It’s too bad that my hipster chicness forbids me from using formerly trendy phrases that are no longer fashionable, because I can’t think of an adequate substitute for “drama queen.”

  65. Jeff G. says:

    Listen: the best thing about the flames emanating from the armadillo? Is that they’re real. Not some stupid hipster wannabe cool “symbol” of anything.

    Just fire, baby. Purifying. Like the fart of God.

    Deal, bitches.

  66. Jim in KC says:

    Turgid prose interspersed with internet porn.

    Heh. Turgid being sort of a “romance novel” term for engorged

    Have I hit upon the nature of the novella?

    A short bodice ripper starring a sea-monkey king and Shannon Elizabeth, perhaps?

  67. SevenEleventy says:

    Armadillo Flambé

  68. Jeff G. says:

    A sea monkey king? WTF does that even mean, Jim in KC?

    Ridiculous. Dull.

    …Now, change that to a FIRE BREATHING ARMADILLO OF RIGHTEOUSNESS and then you’d be on to something.

    Christ. You people need an editor.

  69. BJTexs says:

    Did he mean for the flames to purify the site from turgidity? I thought that the flaming dillo represented the searing of traditional, stolid narrative into a crispy yet tender freedom from conventional prose into a succulent and juicy stream of consciousness that finds nuggets of side order meaning.

    Man, am I hungry…

  70. Jim in KC says:

    She robs liquor stores by cutting open the windows with her nipples; he drives the getaway car.

    WHICH IS ON FIRE! A FLAMING PLYMOUTH FURY WITH NAUGAHYDE SEATS!

  71. Jeff G. says:

    The flames are just flames, you stupid hippies! Fuck. I knew I should have drawn him with, like, a Dirty Harry gun or something.

  72. SevenEleventy says:

    Christ. You people need an editor.

    It was bad week to give up sniffing glue! But there’s always huffing shitty diapers!

  73. BJTexs says:

    Are dillos edible?

    Never mind…

  74. Jeff G. says:

    You know what? You people don’t even deserve my flaming armadillo. I’m taking my creation and going home.

    I SAID GOOD DAY, SIRS!

  75. BJTexs says:

    OK, but leave the dillo. The flames are pretty.

  76. happyfeet says:

    This is really scraping the bottom of the propaganda barrel I think. McCain’s, Adviser’s Ties To Georgia Questioned is their big story today. That’s pitiful.

  77. Mr. Pink says:

    You just gotta love NPR. That is not a waste of my tax dollars at all.

  78. Aldo says:

    Are dillos edible?

    They eat Armadillos in Southern Mexico. They have recipes and everything.

  79. PC says:

    LOL!
    that’s all I got after reading this thread. ;)

  80. LionDude says:

    BJTexas,

    Yes, they are edible. Quesedillos.

    I’m so damn hip I can’t stand it.

  81. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    They eat Armadillos in Southern Mexico. They have recipes and everything.

    Yeah, they’re sort of like meat-filled M&Ms.

  82. TmjUtah says:

    Weren’t ‘dillos called “Hoover Chickens” back in the dust bowl day?

  83. SevenEleventy says:

    “Dillo To Go” sounds like a good fastfood restaurant name.

  84. Hadlowe says:

    Is it bad if for the time being I ignore Feet’s attempt at derail and just bask in the magnificent slapdown?

    I’ll get to the propaganda thing later, but for the time being, I’m just sniggering in a dull, tedious way. I’ve got to see if I can get my snigger to be desperate, cloying, and also to thud. I bet I can find a role where Johnny Depp does a cloying snigger.

  85. happyfeet says:

    Oh yeah… is ok to ignore. I’m just not at all touchy about stuff like that. I get to go home in 35 minutes you know.

  86. Mikey NTH says:

    Are we sure that the flames aren’t from the fumes the tequila the ‘dillo drank wafting from his shell when he decided that he needed a Camel unfiltered?

    These accidents do happen!

  87. Aldo says:

    #76 hf,

    There was an op-ed in the LAT yesterday by Rosa Brooks blaming the Russian invasion of Georgia on McCain and Bush. One of McCain’s advisors was a lobbyist for Georgia. The conspiracy theory leaps (without a shred of evidence) from that factoid to the conclusion that the Georgian President must have been emboldened to provoke Russia due to assurances from the lobbyist/McCain advisor that the US would have his back. It’s unclear to me why the Georgians would take to the bank promises from a campaign advisor for a candidate who is expected to lose the Presidential race in the Fall. But Rosa Brooks is a member of the LAT brain trust so it must be true I guess.

  88. happyfeet says:

    It’s all good fun until somebody gets their smirk slapped off.

  89. Mikey NTH says:

    It works like this:

    (1) Dillo drinks a lot of tequila/other hootch.
    (2) Alcohol fumes waft from Dillo’s shell.
    (3) Dillo decides he needs a Camel unfiltered and lights it.
    (4) Fumes ignite bathing Dillo in flaes.
    (5) Dillo looks about and says “What? Humphrey Bogart used to do this all the time on the set of “To Have and Have Not”. Just ask Lauren Bacall; she told me and said it was ‘way hot’.”

  90. Aldo says:

    BTW, I did smirk when I wrote that, but I was smirking with Doc Weasel, not at him him.

  91. Mikey NTH says:

    Aldo – Robert Scheer said the same thing in the San Francisco Chronicle the other day. From one bat-guano-crazy columnist to the NYT’s ear.

  92. Jeff G. says:

    You people are fit to wipe the ass of the flaming armadillo of literal righteousness.

    And don’t think I don’t know what you pseudo-hipster post modernists are thinking, either. The answer is napalm. And editing.

  93. Mikey NTH says:

    Oooops! I meant the LAT’s ear.

    Silly me.

    Oh, well it is Friday and I am happy – a rate case went into settlement which means I can go visit mom and dad this weekend instead of staying in the office and preparing for cross-examination on Monday through Thursday.

    Yay me!

  94. Aldo says:

    Mikey, Scheer is a former member of the LAT brain trust. I guess he and Rosa must be sharing notes over at DU.

  95. SevenEleventy says:

    LAT, NYT, what’s the difference? What’s a rate case?

  96. Mr. Pink says:

    No swordfish jokes yet? WTF I came here for the swordfish jokes!!!!!!11!!!!!

  97. psycho... says:

    2. “You and me, we’re meant to be together. And I know this because the spirit of a bunch of dead babies told me so.”

    The title of the original Japanese series, translated with sensitivity to the richness and nuance of non-Western languages, is Dead Baby Make You Fuck Me, Esq. — or it was, until corporate America’s reichwing prudes culturally imperialized it!

    We’re sorry.

  98. happyfeet says:

    That reminds me of that flaming giraffe nishi posted one day. I only found out later that was a Salvador Dali thing. He was a famous artist. I bet he would make some cool screensavers if he was still around.

  99. Jeff G. says:

    When will we reach that glorious cultural moment where the painfully unhip becomes the new non-hip post-ironic hip hip, and flaming armadillo graphics rule teh intertubz?

    WHERE HAVE YOU GONE, BARRY MANILOW, OUR NATION TURNS ITS LONELY EYES TO YOU…!

  100. Carin says:

    I ain’t wiping NO armadillo-ass. Literal or not. They carry diseases, you know.

  101. SevenEleventy says:

    Yeah, I never got the whole winged flying toaster thing, and I used to smoke alot of dope.

  102. Carin says:

    Oh Jeff. Don’t say that. Because painfully unhip could be used to describe a SAH homeschooling mother of 5.

    It may be true, but don’t make me address it.

  103. Mikey NTH says:

    Part of the theory, Aldo, was to create an international crisis so that Sen. McCain would look all presidential and focussed while Sen. Obama played in the waves.

    Which means that the Georgians would be willing to sacrifice their nation, their people, and everything they hold dear to elect Sen. McCain, who can also out-game Putin on a moment’s notice.

    Now that I think about it I really want McCain in when he can, as a senator and candidate, force Putin to dance to McCain’s tune without anyone guessing but the ever-astute Robert Scheer, Rosa Brooks, and the SF Chronicle and LA Times. What could he do with the power of the fully operational Federal battlestation at his command? My Lord, It Will Be Glorious!

  104. Carin says:

    Question. Barry Manilow. Gay or nay?

  105. Jeff G. says:

    Okay, that’s it. If you people don’t stop talking about McCain and Georgia, NO MORE FLAMING ARMADILLOS OF LITERALNESS FOR YOU!

    I’m serious. I can shut down Illustrator just like that. This is my thread. Pay attention.

  106. happyfeet says:

    Toasters are a lot not very aerodynamic. Not like geese or F-14s anyway. So that was a very ironic screensaver I think. Maybe too ironic, if that’s even possible.

  107. Aldo says:

    Did Scheer explain how Bush fits into all this? Brooks explained it, but I can’t remember how she linked Chimpy McHitler into the whole scheme.

  108. Carin says:

    I’m paying attention. Partly because I’m too drunk to talk politics.

  109. Aldo says:

    I’m sorry. The Armadillo has my full attention now. I hope he doesn’t expect me to throw dollar bills when he dances.

  110. Jeff G. says:

    You can’t have a flaming armadillo what don’t look fearsome, you know. Which is why I added the scowl.

    A bit of creative license on my part, sure. But it was for the better.

    You’ll thank me later.

    EXCELSIOR!

  111. Carin says:

    I mean, I ‘spose I could focus and talk politics. But I did an hour on the elliptical, and then two glasses of wine …

  112. Carin says:

    You know … it IS Friday … and what with PW returning to a “Jeff only” forum. I can’t think of a more appropriate time to bring out that little dancing bastard.

  113. Mikey NTH says:

    SevenEleventy:

    A rate case is a case where a utlity files with a public service commission for permission to increase the base rates* it charges to customers. It is pretty complicated and has a lot of auditors and accountants involved as expert witnesses and preparing for cross-examination is the definition of the anti-fun way to spend your weekend.

    *Power Supply Cost Recovery cases and Gas Cost Recovery cases (and their reconciliations) occur every year – those costs are not in base rates (which have things like depreciation for plants, maintenance, wages, benefits, line clearance and maintenance, rate of return on equity, etc.) in them.

    PSCR and GCR are the mechanism by which the direct wholesale cost of fuel for power plants and the wholesale cost of gas are passed to the consumer. That’s it in a nutshell.

  114. Carin says:

    Bla bla bla bla Mikey. You know I love you, but it’s Jeff’s thread and unless you’re gonna talk Armadillo, I’m gonna have to ask you to take this elsewhere.

    Rules and all. Nothing I can do.

  115. PC says:

    hey, uh, where is this flaming armadillo graphic anyway? I don’t see it on docw’s site. (yes I know I’m clueless)

  116. Jeff G. says:

    DULLARDS! YOU DON’T REALLY LIKE JEFF! Seriously, come to my site. Titties! Can’t get more straightforward than that.

    — Unless, you know, dull pomo boy jeffy gets hold of them and turns them into some kind of metaphorical reprise. At which point nipples will stupidly come to represent incisive acumen disguised by a veneer of shallowness, which allows said anthropomorphized nipples to lull the stubbornly pretentious into a false sense of superiority. Or something equally marble-mouthed and unfunny / uninteresting.

    Whereas, over at docweasel? “Titties” = TITTIES TITTIES TITTIES!

  117. Mikey NTH says:

    Jeff G. #105:

    I guess that means no more talk about utility law and regulation?

    I’m okay with that….Oh! The bar has ‘Werewolves of London’ on! A-Ooooooo!

  118. Carin says:

    You know, Jeff, I looked up “titties” on Wikipedia, and they actually have pictures of BREASTS right there. Very informative, it is.

  119. happyfeet says:

    Four minutes until the weekend starts. I sense impending anticlimax.

  120. Jeff G. says:

    EXCELSIOR!

    Oh, it burns so hot and good…!

  121. Mikey NTH says:

    Carin #115 – Trust me – I would rather not talk about utility regulation. Seriously.

    (For the love of God – no one mention motor carrier regulation under the former ISTEA. Please!!!!)

  122. Carin says:

    OMG, doc’s sit is … PORN. I thought you were exaggerating. Blech.

  123. Mikey NTH says:

    “Try not the Pass!” the old man said;
    “Dark lowers the tempest overhead,
    The roaring torrent is deep and wide!”
    And loud that clarion voice replied,
    Excelsior!

    Well, I won’t cross the proprietor, that’s for sure.

  124. Carin says:

    Docweasel may have an excess (of seemingly underage) titties on his site, but we’ve got Sugartits™ here. The difference is we always promise to reveal, but we never actually do thus enhancing the opportunity to use your imagination.

    Which is a good thing. Right?

  125. Mikey NTH says:

    And he tried the pass,
    and the dumbass died.
    Excelsior.

  126. PC says:

    OH!
    hey now, that represents some honest hard work there, with all the different armadillo/flame variations…?

  127. Aldo says:

    I thought Barney Frank was flaming, but Barney doesn’t hold a candle to that ‘dillo.

  128. Mikey NTH says:

    Well, Carin, my imagination is well-developed, so it is all good to me.

    Thankfully the Dillo is armored and the flames just roll of his back…

  129. Mikey NTH says:

    Comment by Carin on 8/15 @ 5:55 pm #

    Bla bla bla bla Mikey.

    And I will. Which is why you know that I am not a troll.

  130. Carin says:

    Well, it certainly is ironical and shit that the author of THAT site would write a Wall-O-Text criticizing PW.

    Honestly, he criticized both Jeff and “us” commenters. Summed up, I believe he called us posers.

  131. Jeff G. says:

    hey now, that represents some honest hard work there, with all the different armadillo/flame variations…?

    See? PC gets me!

    Welcome to the fold, PC. Leave this cesspool of unintelligible dreck and pure typing and come join me in my oasis of variations on a flaming armadillo theme.

    Oh. And, like, titties. So, BONUS!

  132. docweasel says:

    no, but Jeff, you and your minions go on an on as if this site were some kind of sublime wonderfulness, and I never did get it. You have all this inside baseball self-reverential bullshit that if someone who doesn’t read every comment and doesn’t get the hipster references dares question, the illuminati here dump all over them.

    I guess my final point is, people were going on and on about how the guest posters were superfluous and jeff was the real genius. Well, the armadillo has no clothes. I think you post a lot of stuff that basically celebrates the little structure you’ve constructed here and sheds little light on current events, the world, politics, etc. To those busting on our blog, we never pretended to be anything other than superficial and slutty. Plus, its a group blog where we all post under the same name, so if there is any post you don’t like, I didn’t write that one, someone else did.

    Plus, Jeff told me I was missing out not reading the comments last week, which seemed weird at the time, since the comments seemed to have led to a huge upheaval, so I started reading them, and its bullshit. Its like some l33t club of wannabe cooler-than-thou wankers who shit on those who don’t spend their lives memorizing all the lame ass references.

    No, I don’t have to be here. That doesn’t mean I can’t rank on your asininity. You don’t have to watch Southpark or listen to Isaac Hayes’ music, but you rank on him. Or John Edwards. So all that WAAAH just don’t cut it.

    Just an outsider telling all you insiders you suck. Think of it as me throwing clods at your shithouse cuz you won’t let me in.

    And I made the armadillo for DAN- Jeff had a hissy fit about it, ranted in a dozen posts, made Dan take down a joke Cafepress shop he’d made for it, got his panties twisted over comments I made about it on our blog, etc. so if anyone made a huge deal about it, it was jeff, not me, but as was explained to me, I had just stepped on it in a major ongoing fuckstory that had nothing to do with me but since I had apparently sided with Dan in some hazy way I was sucked into the nightmare. I quickly left and have posted here like 2 times since.

    So whatever, but sometimes someone not under the thrall of his own suckitude needs to step in and tell you fucks when you are being lame, and I’ve done that, so I’ll move on.

    You’ll miss me, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not ever, but still. The point stands. You’ll miss someone.

  133. B Moe says:

    Weren’t ‘dillos called “Hoover Chickens” back in the dust bowl day?

    Possum on the half-shell, what I heard.

  134. Carin says:

    Oh, Mikey. No. YOu’re not a troll. You just need a few drinks … loosen up a bit. ;) This thread turned non-serious (although retaining a serious flaming vein) long ago.

  135. Jeff G. says:

    I quickly left and have posted here like 2 times since.

    Indeed. And only ONE of those linked back to your flaming armadillo graphics.

    Which, did I mention how genius those are? I mean, true, the E-l33tists here won’t appreciate such an in your face, bold, artistic literalism. But, well, they’re all posers, anyway.

    Unlike you, docweasel. Who just tells it like it is. With titties. And flaming armadillo graphics. Lots and lots of both.

    FOR FREEDOM!

  136. Carin says:

    See, there’s backstory. Docweasel has issues

    But, ftr, Doc – there are ‘in’ jokes, but we’re all a pretty friendly bunch and usually pretty happy to explain and include. BUt, the hipster reference stuff is usually to that inconsequential stuff like major league writers and shit. Which, to get, you’d have to read books (without pictures) or at least know how to use Wiki. Porn sites don’t usually discuss Pynchon or Schrodinger’s cat, but you can usually catch up with a few clicks of the mouse.

    As for the quality of blog material Jeff produces (for FREE bitches) – well, if your criticism can only rise to the level of using the word “suckitude” then I don’t know if it’s even worth addressing.

  137. Jeff G. says:

    You know what fights against “suckitude”?

    A flaming armadillo of literal righteousness, is what.

    EXCELSIOR!

  138. Mikey NTH says:

    Carin #135:

    A few drinks? Girl, I am commenting from a bar, and I have put down about four schooners of Pabst now.

    Hey, they have free wireless internet…

  139. Patrick says:

    doc,
    No, you’re wrong. Won’t miss you a bit. Didn’t enjoy what you had to say, or the inflated ego that it portrayed. The point is, we missed the old PW, the old Jeff, what seems to have returned. Even with turds like you in the community punchbowl.

  140. Jeff G. says:

    Literary references! Harumph! You people just think you’re better than me.

    It’s because my site is filled with titties, and my posts have tags like “pussy” and “ass,” isn’t it?

    Snobs.

  141. Carin says:

    Ha! Then perhaps you should switch to something stronger? I make a mean mojito. Can you make it up to Metamora?

  142. happyfeet says:

    Is rank a for real word like that?

  143. Carin says:

    Jeff, maybe when you reference some literary shit, you need to put a hyperlink right on that bitch? Lotsa people never graduate from high school and you’re excluding them. HATER.

  144. happyfeet says:

    Says the girl from Detroit. :)

  145. Mikey NTH says:

    I mean – really – how do you expect a man to go from reading the work papers of the accountants in a utility rate case to commenting on the twenty-year-old Lauren Bacall’s reaction to seeing a leading man burst into flames; and a Dillo’s rationalization of all that?

    Sober? I Think Not!

  146. Carin says:

    Well, I didn’t go to hs in Detroit. My parents pulled me out after sixth grade. The quality of ed (after elementary) sucked, plus everyone wanted to beat-up the white chick. No, my high school/middle school education was grade A. Grosse Pointe.

  147. happyfeet says:

    I was just kidding cause I think it was you who had that 17% statistic the other day?

  148. Carin says:

    We’re here to HELP Mikey. Here … try a mojito.

    HEY, ever been to Vincentes?

  149. PC says:

    Well, being a chick, I rather detest porn so I think I’ll stay here. (Which might seem ironic, I know) I hope that’s ok. I recently got banned from LGF for saying something mildly critical, so I learned my lesson about criticizing others in the blogosphere. Not that I’m on par with Doc, of course.

    But since this is where I started out, I’ve come full circle. When Jeff quit posting I wandered over to LGF…and boy I’ve missed the drinking here. :)

  150. Mikey NTH says:

    God, I miss the old Stroh’s, when it had the bite that its heritage demanded!

    Of course in college I bought Goebel becuase it was going five bucks a case at Shop-Rite!

    Goebel! Champagne of the Working Class! (So we said. We were college students and trying to get the most for our money. BTW – stay away from Crystal Palace Gin, that stuff is only good for cleaning showers with, and we did. Highly effective for that, we found; but not for drinking.)

    The Dillo may have different opinion.

  151. Carin says:

    :) I know you were joshing. But the 17percent thingy was for you yucky men. I don’t know the grad rate for white girls in Detroit PS. Of course, there are probably not that many of ’em. I’ve never seen a white kid even near the HS near me (where my house that I currently don’t live in is) – EVER.

  152. Jeff G. says:

    Knock knock

    Who’s there?

    Docweasel.

    Oooh. TITTIES!

  153. Mikey NTH says:

    What the devil is a mojito, and if that doesn’t translate into whiskey, whiskey sour, highball, or martini – I want nothing to do with it.

    “Foreign kickshaws,” said the commodore.

  154. happyfeet says:

    That’s cause for them graduation is called motherhood I think.

  155. Mr. Pink says:

    PC I have been banned from both LGF and here I got ya beat.

  156. Darleen says:

    cool and inside joke and pw cliquey

    Hey, weaselly, listen up … I am the only authentic Click around here.

    Now, begone you syphilic dung beetle.

  157. cranky-d says:

    Well, docweasel sure put us in our place, by gum! I guess I am really quite ignorant, and have been fooled into thinking Jeff writes great stuff that many times one shouldn’t take too much to heart.

    In any case, I would like to thank docweasel for providing the impetus for Jeff to go off on a memorable string of rant comments, though doc himself is apparently pretty much of a tool otherwise.

  158. Carin says:

    Detroit talk :

    Mikey, from my bedroom (we’ve talked about where I grew up) I could see the old big rectangle box that was the Stroh brewhouse. With the big sign on top. I’d go to sleep watching it.

    Later, in High school, there were some Stroh kids there. There were a big GP family.

  159. PC says:

    #

    Comment by Mr. Pink on 8/15 @ 6:37 pm #

    PC I have been banned from both LGF and here I got ya beat.

    so how is it you’re still posting here? :)

  160. Jeff G. says:

    PC, I ain’t never banned you. As for Mr Pink, well, that was all part of an elaborate lesson in learning the blog language — and clearly, he ain’t banned.

    Whether or not he’s caught on to the blog language here yet is another matter. Though it’s immaterial: the cool people knew what was happ’ning. And we all sniggered knowingly.

  161. happyfeet says:

    mojitos are kind of overrated I think, until you find a place that makes ones you like

  162. cranky-d says:

    I will agree thought that if you don’t like what gravy boats or ghosts have to say (not to mention kleagle hoods) then perhaps you ought to read elsewhere.

  163. Carin says:

    Mojito- run (good, dark rum please) , fresh lime juice, a bit of sugar water, and fresh mint.

    YUM. Vicentes is a Cuban restaurant in Downtown Detroit. They do salsa dancing some night. It’s a fun place.

  164. Mikey NTH says:

    BTW Carin – Dearborn Public Schools for me. Haigh, then Bryant, then Dearborn High. Dad taught at Fordson. Try getting away with anything when dad was in the bowling league with your teachers. Big city-small town doesn’t begin to describe it.

    (We go out to dinner; at the next table is my English teacher that I have had some academic problems with. Upon leaving, dad stops to chat. Upon getting home…)

  165. PC says:

    “PC, I ain’t never banned you.”

    I know, that’s why I still love your armadillo! Now the LGF comment gestapo – that’s soooo not cool.

    anyhoo. Time for a margarita.

  166. Mikey NTH says:

    Ah – downtown Detroit. Haven’t really been there since I stopped working down there in the early 2000’s. I pass through and look at what has been done from time to time on my way to USCG Boat Station Belle Isle.

  167. Jeff G. says:

    True, cranky-d.

    I mean, when was the last time a gravy boat said something truly politically relevant or timely?

    THIS WILL NOT STAND!

  168. happyfeet says:

    oh. Is “what has been done” an urban renewal thing or a not good thing?

  169. Jeff G. says:

    (Personally, I think what docweasel’s really mad about is all that jargony stuff in my recent posts on affirmative action, racial identity politics, diversity, and progressive fascism. Next time, I’ll just have a bunch of panels with titties and thought bubbles. Then, we’ll be like, bestest buds!)

  170. Mikey NTH says:

    Carin: My mom’s grandfather was Superintendent of the Detroit Public Schools back at the turn of the last century – Wales Martindale was his name. Cass Tech was an idea he pushed. Everyday I expect to here about a ghost smacking the living daylights out of the current schools administration.

  171. The Lost Dog says:

    Hey! Hey!

    Give docweasel a break!

    This is kind of an “insider joke place”.

    But docweasel. Here’s the skinny.

    We don’t give a shit. Every day we have to go out into the world and face the mounting oblivion of what the proggs have wrought in the last 50 years, and are expanding every day. And it drives us crazy to be told what to eat, what to drive, that we are racists by default, and to be fined if we are caught with our doors open when the air conditioning is on.

    Almost everybody here sees our freedom being eaten away day by day, and the only thing we can do is make fun of the historical blindness of the left, and their mix master way of seeing the Constitution.

    We have fun, and even in the “inane” threads, there is much wisdom – and humor. The proggs scream about bullshit. We make fun of them, and have fun doing it.

    But fun to the proggs should be proscribed and limited, just like everything else in the “masses” lives.

    If the proggs can act like children in the real world, I don’t see why we can’t revel in the intelligence (and great satire) of PW. If you’re looking for the realities of the world, go to HuffPost or Kos. And if you have an IQ bigger than your shoe size, you will come away disheartened. For chrissakes! O!ily mught well be our next presidaent, and these will be the people who made it happen!

    And look at the unbridled HATE of so many of his supporters. What do you think he means by “change”? That he is going to take us back to a constitutional republic? Don’t make me laugh.

    Without PW, I think many people here would be in your super market parking lot with AK-47s, waiting for you to start putting your groceries in your Mercedes.

    We are not changing the world. We are basically goofing on it, because this country is well on it’s way to total insanity, and with the proggs being in charge of our educational institutions for the last 50 years, it’s a losing game to try and teach our children about individualism, self reliance, and what the Constitution really says. It can be done, but it’s getting more and more difficult. My son and I are very close, but he doesn’t want to hear anything that goes against the bullshit that his head is being stuffed with at his school.

    I mean, did you see that youtube clip of the debating coaches? Hilarious! But also sad, because these are the morons who control our educational system, and the same ones our children look up to. (I’m having another fit of laughter here just thinking about that clip again).

    This place is an inside joke, and if you are looking for reality, try Daily Kos.

    No disrespect intended, but in America, we are supposed to be able to say anything we fucking want to. And those of us at PW do, no matter if it seems inane, stupid, or inspired. Tough titties, proggs (not you dw).

    Also, a few ounces of Absolut might make you more comfortable here. Either that, or more mushrooms. A lot more mushrooms.

    Or SAKE!

  172. Mr. Pink says:

    You get kicked out the cool cliche as soon as you get braces PC. Do not let your parents fool you on that one.

  173. happyfeet says:

    oh. a riverfront project and stuff. That will be nice.

  174. Hadlowe says:

    Found me a cloying snigger right here. Not one flaming armadillo, and I can’t remember if there were titties. My heart says, “Yes, titties there were.”

  175. cranky-d says:

    Gravy boats don’t say timely things because they reject the mass media. At least, that’s what my gravy ladle told me.

  176. cranky-d says:

    It could have been lying.

  177. Mr. Pink says:

    You could save your time reading Kos and just pop your right eye with a salad fork

  178. Mikey NTH says:

    Actually, haps “what has been done” is anti-urban renewal. Such as restoring Washington Boulevard to its pre-we’ll-make-it-better’ look.

    Back in the sixties they took a street with two way traffic and islands in the center full of flowers and fifteen-twenty feet wide sidewalks and turned it into a narrow street with a pedestrian mall along one side with red steel beams holding flourescent lights. All running along buildings whose facades were 1920’s mostly Beaux-Arts style.

    Talk about ‘let’s make you as ugly as possible and help you die’, I think.

    Mies van de Rohe and Le Corbusier have a lot to answer for.

  179. Mikey NTH says:

    Did you ask the old Dutch clock or the Chinese plate for their take on it all, cranky-d?

  180. Jeff G. says:

    I’m just not a big fan of seedless watermelon. Sorry, but that’s just the way it is. In fact, fuck seedless watermelon — thinking it’s so much better than regular watermelon.

    Well, guess what: YOU ARE NAKED, MR SEEDLESS WATERMELON — AND IN YOUR NAKEDNESS I CAN SEE YOUR VERY SOUL!

  181. cranky-d says:

    I don’t speak Dutch or Chinese, so even though they talk a lot, I cannot understand what they’re saying.

  182. Carin says:

    Oh Happy, in that Wiki page, the church (St Joseph’s) – I was baptized there. They still do Mass in German once a month.

  183. Carin says:

    You’re right, Jeff. That seedless watermelon hype is BS. As if we’re just supposed to ignore the tiny WHITE seeds. They’re still there, and I still need to spit ‘me out.

  184. happyfeet says:

    oh. That’s still cool, how cities change. It just takes forever is the problem.

  185. cranky-d says:

    Anyway, the alcohol is calling my name all the way from downtown. I might come back later to post some drunk comments that I will forget about until tomorrow afternoon. Because that’s the way I roll.

  186. Jeff G. says:

    Wiki? Why, that’s just a refuge for the leftards, when it comes to things political.

    I know — you people probably don’t believe me, so blind are you to current events. But it is. And one day the whole world will know, and they’ll say, “we really should have listened to that one guy with all the flaming armadillo graphics. Because he was like the Buddha!

    “Only, with lots of superfluous emphasis placed on young girl snatch.”

  187. Mikey NTH says:

    Ah – you need to expand your horizons.

    Next morning, where the two had sat
    They found no trace of dog or cat;
    And some folks think unto this day
    That burglars stole that pair away!
    But the truth about the cat and pup
    Is this: they ate each other up!
    Now what do you really think of that!
    (The old Dutch clock it told me so,
    And that is how I came to know.)

    (I have a cousin in Canada that married a Dutchman, and he and his siblings were able to translate for me.)

  188. happyfeet says:

    oh. I got behind cause I was looking to see if anyone had optioned The Authority cause that made me think of Jack Hawksmoor. Couldn’t find anything.

  189. The Lost Dog says:

    “Comment by Mr. Pink on 8/15 @ 6:54 pm #

    You could save your time reading Kos and just pop your right eye with a salad fork”

    Well said. Well said.

  190. Carin says:

    Jeff , could you explore and explain the whole Wiki-liberal connection? Because, I’ve just never heard that before. It sounds intriguing. And, could you be sure to include a ton of underage snatch to break-up the text, because I have a short attention span. I mean, I’m political and all, but come ON. All work and no play, so the saying goes. I think that was in Moby Dick or one of those classical tomes
    .

  191. Jeff G. says:

    You know who’s kinda lame? That Obama fellow. I think I’ll write a post entitled, “That Obama fellow is kinda Lame.” It’ll go something like this:

    “You know who’s kinda lame? That Obama fellow, that’s who.”

    Then I’ll attach a picture of a girl lying face down on the sand with her snatch winking back up at me. But not symbolically. No. That’s too easy.

    Rather, literally.

  192. Mikey NTH says:

    But really – this takes us away from an incandescent Dillo and the young Lauren Bacall’s reaction to that. Because she had plenty of observations on these sort of things.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/59779136@N00/416826351/in/set-72157594580976047/

    Hope Link takes…

  193. dicentra says:

    Hey, I’ve chided Charles before on LGF, but I ain’t banned yet. Wha’dja say?

  194. Jeff G. says:

    I’m going to start drinking now.

    I’m thinking maybe a Mickey’s Big Mouth with an Old Crow chaser. But I promise to drink it ironically.

  195. The Lost Dog says:

    Comment by Hadlowe on 8/15 @ 6:52 pm #

    Found me a cloying snigger right here. Not one flaming armadillo, and I can’t remember if there were titties. My heart says, “Yes, titties there were.”

    After seeing “Disturbia”{, I think that Sarah Roemer should be in every movie that I will ever see. And she’s not in this one.

    Plus, the book was so great that I would hate to see Hollywood make roast beef hash out of it.

  196. happyfeet says:

    Why does everyone talk like Disturbia was so great? Mostly I just wanted a tour of the house. It was like huge.

  197. cjd says:

    Jeff, I’ll be drinking OE 800. Aloof yet pensive-like.

  198. happyfeet says:

    It was nice to see David Morse catch a break though.

  199. Mikey NTH says:

    Oh – haps, I dropped this link into the chianti post. It is from The Islander from Anna Maria Island, Florida. A paper my dad calls ‘The Turtle Times’. They run a lot of articles on protecting the nests of the big turtles.

    http://www.islander.org/8-13-08/turtles_mcclash.php

  200. happyfeet says:

    Anna Maria Island Turtle Watch reported 150 loggerhead sea turtle nests and 96 false crawls on the beach as of Aug. 10.

    ok this sorta explains false crawls. But these people are scary vigilant on the turtles.

    AMITW reported an average of eight emergencies a night last week, occasions when federally-protected “nesting moms looking for a place to give birth” were deterred.

    There has to be a cable show in here somewheres.

  201. Dan Collins says:

    Oh, geez. I can’t look, but I can’t turn away.

    Can’t a guy take his son to Friendly’s without coming back to a friggin’ holocaust?

    Oh, and I have to work again tomorrow, too, because my wife says we need the scratch.

    Well, I tell you what: fuck it. I ain’t working next weekend and that’s that.

    What, hon? Shit, I gotta go.

  202. McGehee says:

    @ #192: Jeff, that actually kind of describes what my blog looked like through most of June and July.

    Well, except for the naked women on brazen display. I have to leave those unsignified because my wife and mother-in-law read the blog.

    Like my racism and homophobia the naked women, though unsignified, are there — and that’s what counts.

  203. happyfeet says:

    I know what you mean. I’m booking Christmas this weekend and starting some of the shopping.

  204. Jeff G. says:

    You should bring your wife one of them flaming armadillo graphics, Dan. They’re like a dozen roses and cunnilingus rolled up into one little armored ball of flaming appreciation.

  205. happyfeet says:

    oh. I know what you mean about the scratch thing is what I meant.

  206. happyfeet says:

    you don’t bring me flaming armadillo graphics

    any

    more

  207. Along the same lines, I have the conversation between the fall guy for the pregnancy, Andrew Young and his wife here:

    http://rightwingsparkle.blogspot.com/2008/08/where-is-andrew-young.html

    Jeff, Did you get my e-mail???

  208. Dan Collins says:

    Wow, Jeff. Maybe we’ll have to do a teddy bear in an armadillo suit for Valentine’s.

  209. Jeff G. says:

    I did, Sparkle, thanks.

    Turns out the guy you’re talking about is docweasel, so I don’t think I stand much of a chance. No funny here. Everyone please move along.

  210. irongrampa says:

    On the other hand, Flaming Armadillos would be a great name for a rock band.

  211. Jeff G. says:

    Just so long as you don’t forget to douse it with lighter fluid and flame that fucker up, Dan.

    Make sure the little tag says so, too. Otherwise it’s not really a FLAMING armadillo, and is therefore probably not really literal like. And so it sucks.

  212. Education Guy says:

    I’m sorry, but I’m just not seeing it. I mean the flames don’t even move. They just freaking sit there, like they want to be flames but need a good swift breeze or something.

    The porn I get. No need for a breeze there.

  213. Mikey NTH says:

    haps #201 – I said my dad calls it ‘The Turtle Times’. He has a reason, and my dad is one of the most sensible people I know. Next to mom.

  214. Dan Collins says:

    Nothing shows your love for her like a Flaming Armadillo Teddy Bear! It only holocausts a little to fire up your love life!*

    *Lifetime Vermont Teddy Bear warranty does not apply.

  215. Mikey NTH says:

    Okay, off to bed and all that. I got to finish laundry before going to see the folks.

  216. Dan Collins says:

    Geez. What are folks for, Mikey?

  217. happyfeet says:

    Goodnight Mr. NTH

  218. Dan Collins says:

    I Went On John Edwards’s Presidential Candidacy Tour
    And All I Got Was This F*cking Baby

  219. Dan Collins says:

    For This Much Relief
    Thanks, Bitch!

  220. urthshu says:

    I was told there were some titties…?

  221. cynn says:

    This is plain fugly. So critiques are grounds for beatdowns, and the crowd cheers wildly. Everything’s coming up weeds.

  222. Dan Collins says:

    Urthshu, the women’s trampoline wrestling was great, but I still can’t believe what I saw Michael Phelps do.

  223. Dan Collins says:

    Oh, fuck off, cynn. And I mean that in the nicest way.

  224. cynn says:

    Whatever, Dan.

  225. Slartibartfast says:

    UNDERAGE TITTIES!

    I mean, how much better can it get than that?

  226. Dan Collins says:

    Personally, I like doc weasel, and I’ve seen some funny and interesting stuff on the site. I’m posting that the Pub, and that’s fine with me. Darleen’s posting, too. People are digging Jeff’s stuff, and it’s not because they’re all stupid sycophants.

    It’s fine to let it all hang out, but you should expect blowback, I think. You suck and so do your cadre isn’t exactly much of a critique, and I know that doc can do better, because I’ve seen it.

  227. Dan Collins says:

    That’s a little too DOUG Collins for me, Slart, if you get my drift.

  228. Slartibartfast says:

    A good 35,000 feet over my head, Dan. But I’ve just had a FANTASTIC dinner of farm-tortured veal and BACON, along with some modicum of pasta, and a couple of glasses of red wine, so I know approximately bupkus right now. Except that you can’t get much better underage titty viewing than over at docweasel’s.

  229. Slartibartfast says:

    …without putting it into Google search, anyway.

  230. Dan Collins says:

    BTW, that whole flaming armadillo fiasco? My fault. And I don’t only say that because I loves me the attention.

  231. McGehee says:

    @ #222: Cynn, docweasel’s comment wasn’t a critique — it was a whinge. He slammed PW because the recent posts weren’t to his taste — and then he slammed the commenters because we don’t share his, docweasel’s, taste in blog posts.

    Cynn, when you comment here in the mood you seem to be in tonight, I worry about you. I hope whatever puts you in these moods is something you can do something about, and not just something you have to constantly take out on people like us who have no idea what the deal is.

  232. Pablo says:

    BECAUSE OF THE ARMADILLO!!!

    I can’t believe none of you bitches has teed that one up. Slackers.

  233. Pablo says:

    Wait, that’s sort of Ace of Spadesish, ain’t it? I stand self-chastened.

  234. Slartibartfast says:

    Too derivative, Pabs.

  235. cynn says:

    Dan, I don’t know what the fuck you’re referring to by my “cadre” and sorry you think I suck. I merely objected to the absolute slamming of someone simply because they questioned the content, and nobody responded in good-natured kind. Sue me and the horse I rode in on.

  236. Slartibartfast says:

    I mean…two veal chops. And lots of bacon. And tomato cream sauce, with mushrooms. And fettucine. If I’d only been able to throw down a quarter pound or so of calamari, life would be just the best.

    I couldn’t eat another bite, really. Except for maybe one wafer-thin mint.

  237. Dan Collins says:

    I was speaking in “the fourth person”, cynn, specifying Jeff’s “cadre” and theoretical suckishness.

  238. Dan Collins says:

    You know, as though I were doc, for the moment.

  239. Dan Collins says:

    So, for what it’s worth, I don’t think either you or your cadre suck. Necessarily.

  240. Dan Collins says:

    All I’m really saying is I hope I never have to play Pictionary with you as my partner.

  241. Pablo says:

    I was about to say that happyfeet won the thread at #207 but then Dan trounced him at #219.

    Anyone know what the Jeff fella is talking about? And has anyone seen Lance? Did someone stuff him in a sock drawer or something?

  242. SarahW says:

    Besides, PW is all about the club-kid bigfoot. Just look at the 300 comments.

  243. SarahW says:

    Say, I forgot that armadillo fight. I remember it gave me epilepsy that one time.

  244. Dan Collins says:

    Stupid Flash animation.

  245. Jeff G. says:

    So critiques are grounds for beatdowns, and the crowd cheers wildly.

    Yeah. When are you going to learn to just sit back and take your medicine, Jeff? What gives you the right to answer a “critique” with one of your own? On your site, no less. Talk about an unfair advantage. How is someone supposed to attack you without experiencing this kind of uneven blowblack?

    We must level the playing field. It’s the only way. I call for protein wisdom affirmative action. Who’s with me?

  246. Jeff G. says:

    Oh, and for the record? I don’t share Dan’s opinion of docweasel. I think he’s an enormous prick, in fact. But if he wants to make special presents for Dan, that’s fine by me.

    Love is a strange bird. As is taste.

  247. Dan Collins says:

    De gustibus &ct.

  248. Jeff G. says:

    More like “de titties!” I think.

  249. The Handicapper General says:

    Who’s with me?

    I am!

  250. SarahW says:

    I think I’m going to make a bunch of club kid bigfoots for Halloween this year.
    I’ve got some bags of bones, and I’m sure Target has some horrible pink bathmats.

  251. Jeff G. says:

    I question the timeliness!

  252. SarahW says:

    Are you implying Dan doesn’t taste good?

  253. JHoward says:

    I call for protein wisdom affirmative action.

    EMBIGGENNESS!

    (sp?)

  254. Dan Collins says:

    Charlie Tuna. That’s me.

  255. Jeff G. says:

    Uh oh. Here comes an outpouring of flaming bespeckled fish graphics.

    PREPARE FOR EXCELSIOR 2: THE RECKONING!

  256. cjd says:

    “de titties”

    Is that Afrikaans, Jeff?

    RACIST!!!

  257. Pablo says:

    I call for protein wisdom affirmative action. Who’s with me?

    You should just change your name to Harrison Bergeron and be done with it.

  258. Pablo says:

    Aw, shit. Sandbagged at #251. I hate that.

  259. Pablo says:

    Or should I say, that’s not fair!

  260. The Handicapper General says:

    Sorry. I denounce myself.

  261. Slartibartfast says:

    So…Michael Phelps bends spacetime to win the 100 fly!

  262. Blind Howling Moonbat says:

    I call for protein wisdom affirmative action. Who’s with me?

    As long as we call it the Fairness Doctrine, I’m in.

  263. SarahW says:

    I’m sure Dan is not Charlie Tuna, but Bacon and veal. And a side salad with a lot of those little artichokes.

  264. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    What the hell was up with Charlie, anyway?

    Some sort of misguided Freudian/Lacanian thanatotic drive? Perhaps he was merely an attention-seeking emo tuna, who didn’t realize that being caught would entail consequences that went way beyond superficial “cutting”.

  265. Jeff G. says:

    Heh.

  266. SarahW says:

    Barbeque pigs and Charlie Tuna, the disturbia of childhood.
    Why do they want to die, mommy?

  267. cynn says:

    McGhee, your passive-aggressive attacks on me will not work. Whatever unfortunate partner you are currenly involved with might not respond to this sick means of control; I hope they have an intervenor who can help.

  268. Jeff G. says:

    You have to take that, “McGhee.” Answering back is unfair. cynn has first rights of critique.

  269. SarahW says:

    He’ll take it like a gentleman, ’cause he is. Cynn, you ARE bugging. What is up?

  270. cynn says:

    Jeff, why are you so mean to me? You don’t even know what color I am!!

  271. Pablo says:

    McGhee, your passive-aggressive attacks on me will not work. Whatever unfortunate partner you are currenly involved with might not respond to this sick means of control; I hope they have an intervenor who can help.

    Jeff, why are you so mean?

  272. cynn says:

    Ok, that was a joke, right?

  273. Jeff G. says:

    We’re all friends here, cynn.

    ‘Cept for docweasel and me. He’s a tool.

  274. thor says:

    You embody peace, love and tranquility therefore you transend color, cynn. Dan on the other hand is the color of all things mean, evil and rotten.

    I can’t believe he used the F word in your presence. The calloused wart knows no chivalry. His wife should chasten him for a week, or more!

  275. Pablo says:

    Shut up, thor.

  276. thor says:

    Go public, Pablo.

  277. cynn says:

    Jeff, you are an artist, not some perpetuator of linguistic theory. The internet is raw and starving for content, and you have fed it well. It’s an organic thing with unlimited capacitty, and you have kept the dialog moving. Well done, I concede.

  278. cynn says:

    … so don’t give an ugly backhand to folks like docweasel, is all I’m saying. But it’s totally ultimately up to you.

  279. thor says:

    Jeff, you’re an artist! *swoon*

    As if Dan is just another working stiff! Dan is as fascinating as any eccentric poet! How can you compliment one and ignore the other? As if Dan is of lower form, something low-like, a something lower than Frankenstein’s incongruous parts. No Madame. In a cage of freaks, midgets, Muslim-fags and lions, Dan would slay them all with his verse. Do it with his underwear pulled over his head too!

  280. serr8d says:

    The Titans just won another meaningless preseason game. Beautiful night for it. What’d I miss?

    «sniff sniff» did someone catch on fire or something?

  281. serr8d says:

    I find that I inadvertently took a picture of titties chips. For their artistic sublimeiness.

    With cheese sauce, even.

    But, to get past the innate tediousity of it, you’ll prolly need a codebook..

  282. serr8d says:

    Chippy link.

    Must be the adult beverages. Someone card me, quick!

  283. geoffb says:

    You may be having some effect on the PJM brand after all.

    An Obituary for Solzhenitsyn’s Writing

    “His seminal works are being “disappeared” at the hands of postmodern English professors.”

    Now it’s almost 3 am here and bed is calling.

    BTW: The Catch Wrestling DVDs arrived and look great. Glad to have found out about them here.

    Nite all.

  284. cranky-d says:

    Okay, I’m home now from a night of drinking. Should I leave a drunken comment? I’m really not feeling all that ripped.

    Oh, I know. Docweasel is still a weasel, by definition, and a tool by his own admission. Back to the olympics coverage!

  285. The Lost Dog says:

    Comment by Jeff G. on 8/15 @ 7:10 pm #

    You know who’s kinda lame? That Obama fellow. I think I’ll write a post entitled, “That Obama fellow is kinda Lame.” It’ll go something like this:

    “You know who’s kinda lame? That Obama fellow, that’s who.”

    Then I’ll attach a picture of a girl lying face down on the sand with her snatch winking back up at me. But not symbolically. No. That’s too easy.

    Rather, literally.

    Oh, Jeff! Please, please do! But could you turn her over?

    It occurred to me last night that I only have two options.

    I can just drool, or be known as the town asshole. If you do this “literal” stuff (hubba hubba), no one will know. Except for the guys who have the trojan in my computer.

    Age has it’s drawbacks, and one of them is impending dementia.

    Bummer, man…

  286. The Lost Dog says:

    thor,

    You are an idiot, but I would probably have fun with you at a bar, seeing who could drink more shots of beer every 60 seconds. If you can make it past 45 minutes and still speak any language, you win.

    I vehemently disagree with you, but so what?

    I just think that more mushrooms (and SAKE) would bring you around. I just find it hard to believe that someone who grew up in Russia (do I have that right?) would come to the US and champion the very same crap that turned Russia into a third world nation of people who don’t give a shit.

    m Or are you Putin, posting from Russsia, and trying to convince us that totalitarianism is way cool, and that because I am white, I am automatically racist, and not worth listening to?

    Ummmmm…It’s time for you to grow up and become an adult. You have the tools, you know…

    thor = enigma.

  287. The Lost Dog says:

    Comment by happyfeet on 8/15 @ 7:20 pm #

    Why does everyone talk like Disturbia was so great? Mostly I just wanted a tour of the house. It was like huge.

    Excuse me?

    Screw the house. I didn’t see anything in that movie other than Sarah Roemer. I’vr seen it eight times, and still have no idea what it is about. But I certainly know that Sarah is in it!

    The trouble with reaching “grampaw country”, is that I feel like a dog who wants to eat someone, but I have hit the end of my chain, and all I can do is choke and drool…

  288. The Lost Dog says:

    Slarti,

    There is nothing better than eating meat from an animal that has never been allowed to stand up and walk.

    And I am not throwing darts. There is a new Italian restaurant down thje street, and I had veal piccata (picatta?)there the other night.

    WOW!

    Sorry, thor. I am a committed meatatarian.

    I don’t eat anything healthy for the same reason I stopped washing my car. Every time I wash my car, it breaks down. I think it’s the shock factor.

  289. happyfeet says:

    Well the movie just kept not answering why these little families live in these ginormous houses. What was in all those rooms we never got to see? The LaBeouf family had an amazing like almost ocd amount of shit I thought, but no cleaning lady. It just looked like LaBeouf’s dad or mom or both were overcompensating for something.

  290. SevenEleventy says:

    You’ll miss me, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not ever, but still. The point stands. You’ll miss someone.

    I miss your superficially slutty tits on parade whoresite already. Please go back to helping those poor misguided young women by posting their nekkid pictures on the intertubes for all to peruse. Your mother must be proud.

  291. Rusty says:

    #288
    Think Hitchcocks, “Rear Window”, on acid.

  292. Rusty says:

    #232
    “Cynn, when you comment here in the mood you seem to be in tonight, I worry about you. I hope whatever puts you in these moods is something you can do something about, and not just something you have to constantly take out on people like us who have no idea what the deal is”

    Hows that -quit smoking- thing coming along?

  293. Hadlowe says:

    Feet, the dad was a writer, so he needed lots of research material. I’m guessing at least 5 of those rooms were floor to ceiling Schnapps.

  294. Jeff G. says:

    Anybody know how to put part of post below the fold in this here publishing software? Because I can’t figger it out.

  295. thor says:

    What happened to the young, sunning queffers? I miss them already.

  296. Jeff G. says:

    I don’t know how to move the picture below the fold, because I can’t figure out how to make a “fold” here. It was easy on Movable Type.

  297. happyfeet says:

    oh. That makes some sense. That he’d want a lot of space for the kid and mom to make themselves scarce in. I missed that dad was a writer I guess. Still, it would have been nice to just get an overview of what they’d done with the place.

  298. happyfeet says:

    In the pub you use a “more” tag.

  299. McGehee says:

    McGhee, your passive-aggressive attacks on me will not work.

    Are you going to spank me now?

  300. serr8d says:

    LOL…that post that once followed this one. Shows up in my g00gle reader…now, I’m known for my stone-faced immunity to the coffee-through-one’s-nose reaction to humor, but that’s gone now.

    Jeff, the ‘more’ thingy hf describes is 5 spots from the right on the icon-row in the ‘visual’ creation tab; 3 from the right on the ‘code’ tab. It’s easier to see in the ‘code’ creation view.

    I’ll say this: it’s worth finding. ;D

  301. thor says:


    Comment by The Lost Dog on 8/16 @ 2:28 am #

    thor,

    You are an idiot, but I would probably have fun with you at a bar, seeing who could drink more shots of beer every 60 seconds. If you can make it past 45 minutes and still speak any language, you win.

    I vehemently disagree with you, but so what?

    I just think that more mushrooms (and SAKE) would bring you around. I just find it hard to believe that someone who grew up in Russia (do I have that right?) would come to the US and champion the very same crap that turned Russia into a third world nation of people who don’t give a shit.

    m Or are you Putin, posting from Russsia, and trying to convince us that totalitarianism is way cool, and that because I am white, I am automatically racist, and not worth listening to?

    Ummmmm…It’s time for you to grow up and become an adult. You have the tools, you know…

    thor = enigma.

    Thanks for all the backhanded compliments. No, I did not grow up in Russia. And you probably don’t want me in the room if you’re extolling the virtues of Marxism or the evils of crypto-Marxism, especially if all you know came from a book, whichever way you lean.

    If you want to deny the logic of AA then tread carefully. I don’t have much patience with past transgression denialists. It wouldn’t say being a denialist alone marks one as a racist, more like an idiot, as I see it.

  302. number2pencil says:

    Is the the new Friday night dancing armadillo thread?

  303. SarahW says:

    You don’t have to deny transgressions of the past to have a rational objection to so-called affirmative action. That seems a foolish premise to impose on arguments against it.

  304. SarahW says:

    There aren’t any barriers in society now but merit and work-ethic. Are you arguing those are heritable? That would be racist.

  305. thor says:

    Yes, you can form a rational objection, as I’ve said many times. That there aren’t any barriers now is an opinion. The “now” topic can also be debated rationally, but rational doesn’t begin with denial nor extend to insults of demonetization toward those who’ve benefited from AA. It was never meant to be perfect but rather an imperfect attempt at legal recourse. That’s all I’ve ever said. Refracting arguments to parallels of “racist”-isms is not honest intellectually, imho. That a race denied could only be given redress through race-based opportunity is common sense.

    This thread isn’t about that, and I’m sort’a of sick of repeating myself.

  306. You can’t change the past, no matter what methodologies you try to employ. Because the very act of blaming and the process of ‘rectification’ aggrieves those people you’ve chosen to blame, creating a whole new class of ‘victims’, who then need their own future generation of soft-minded leftist apologists. To repeat as needed.

  307. SarahW says:

    Well, Thor, AA is very imperfect. It confers advantage to the undeserving. It makes the deserving, suspect of being undeserving.

    It puts the deserving who cannot benefit from AA, at an unfair disadvantage, based on criteria that are flatly unconstitutional to consider – race, sex and creed.

    Those willing to take the unfair and unconstitutional advantage will necessarily have to accept the “demonization” you describe, although contempt would probably be a better word for that…that they stole a place they didn’t earn, and folks will always entertain doubts of their native abilities. Sometimes not only for the surface cause, but because those abilities really never were there, and it is actually true that they weren’t good enough to make it on their own.

    Michelle Obama’s publicized thesis is an example of the latter case. She never really was good enough, and she still resents others thinking she got an unfair advantage and wasn’t good enough. The case is both are true. She can thank affirmative action for her place in the world. It certainly gave her advantage shut off from her ancestors, but she didn’t deserve it.

    You can use a word any way you want, but it will comes to mean what it is used to describe. A pig with lipstick may be a prettier pig, but it is still a pig. If you crown it Miss Affirmative Action, against truley lovely lipsticked ladies, people are going to come to doubt the pageant, and snigger at even the ladies who win. Because if pigs can win over true beauty, that pageant must be rigged.

  308. JD says:

    docweasel was pretty amusing in the past. Apparently he drank a whole tub full of stoopid before posting that, and then an extra fifth of dummass prior to posting the follow ups.

    Slarti – Phelps bending space and time is an apt description.

  309. B Moe says:

    All of thor’s arguments are advocating a punishment based redress of grievances. Denying qualified applicants because of crimes committed by the long dead is foolish and wrong. Accepting applicants that aren’t properly prepared for the challenge is even more wrong and foolish, setting people up to fail is not compassionate or fair.

    You really want to help these kids, pay attention before they get to college and still can’t read or write. Early childhood and elementary school is where the problems are, develop and maintain a good Head Start program, promote Charter Schools and vouchers, breakfast programs are proven improvements, as are tutoring programs. Most importantly, work to break down cultural barriers to education and entitlement programs like AA that teach kids they don’t have to work or be qualified to succeed in life.

  310. JD says:

    SarahW @ 308 – You are wrestling with a pig.

  311. SarahW says:

    It’s here that discussion of affirmative action get very circular. But who deterimines standards of excellence? Why the privileged ( read WASP) do. It’s not good enough to allow everyone an equal shot in the race for success, because the course and the finish line are rigged to one privileged group’s characteristics. Why, we must make allowance for cultural and racial differences, it’s racist to be color-blind!

    Move on to the likes of Rev. Wright announcing the inability of blacks to tell time, &c. It then becomes an argument that if you don’t CHANGE THE STANDARDS OF MERIT, you are being racist. You can’t expect a black man to succeed in a white man’s world. White man, change your world. Include a new definition of beauty to include pig beauty. We demand you admire it in all its nuance!

  312. SarahW says:

    Pretty soon I’ll be accused of calling persons of different races sub-human: but I will not accept the argument that your SAT scores will be different because of your race, per se. I will not accept that mediocrity must be elevated to superiority to redress the past.

  313. SarahW says:

    JD, point taken.

  314. Sdferr says:

    But if you use the armbar-neckcrank combo without regard for the tapout, you might get some fresh bacon, a couple of shoulders and hams out of the exercise. Time for a bar-b-que then.

  315. SarahW says:

    I can do that crossface thing.

  316. SarahW says:

    A bacon cupcake party would be nice. PORKSHOULDERFEST!

  317. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Thor mentions “logic”.

    Let’s think this one through, shall we?

    After 40 (counting from the beginning of LBJ’s Great Society) or perhaps even 60 (counting from the beginning of the New Deal) years of socialist programs, we observe the following facts:

    Incarceration rates: much higher.
    Literacy rates: much lower.
    Percentage of stable families: much lower.
    Illegitimacy rate: much higher.
    School dropout rate: much higher.

    Now, the argument that thor would make is that this is all due to racism. He would have us believe that racism is worse today than it was in, say, 1940. While thor might believe (or pretend to believe) that, I’d imagine that it does not ring true for most of us. Nor does it explain why other minority groups which have been subjected to severe racism (Irish, Jews, Asians) have somehow managed to succeed without AA. Nor does it explain why we see similar (if not quite as high) incarceration, illiteracy, etc. rates among poor whites.

    At some point, it seems to me, we need to acknowledge that the existing social programs have not solved the problems, but rather have made them worse. Thor-logic claims that more of the same will help. Rational-human-being-logic says otherwise.

    I’m sure that thor will denounce me as a “racist” (about which, I’d wager that my melanin content and genetic diversity would put the smackdown on thor’s no-doubt pasty white ass), but it won’t change the facts.

    The thors of the world characterize all opposition to the existing welfare/AA system as “racism” and “not caring about the poor”, yet fail to explain why supporting a system which has produced a permanent underclass counts as “caring”.

    Me, I don’t think anyone in the United States of America should be homeless, nor do I think anyone should be hungry. As Joel Rosenberg (the SF author, not the Christian author) once put it, no one in America should be hungry unless he’s too lazy to chew.

    So, what to do? As I see it, the biggest problem is the cycle of dependency (sometimes called the “welfare trap”). It’s a common “feature” of social programs that they’re all or nothing — you either get the full handout or you get nothing. In my view (as well as that of such well-known socialists as Milton Friedman), working should always produce a tangible increase in net income. Other factors being equal, you or I wouldn’t take a job that resulted in a lower income (or related items, such as health care). Why would we expect the poor to do it? The way most of these systems are set up, taking a part-time job means that you run the risk of losing the bulk of your family’s income. That’s not right.

    Something like Friedman’s negative income tax proposal would appear to be the least harmful method (although I’d prefer that this be handled through something like the Fair Tax rather than an income tax). There would be a guaranteed base income, and the tax rate would gradually rise as you earned more money. But, and this is key, working would never mean that your family becomes worse off. An increase in earned income of $X would result in a decreased subsidy of $X-delta (delta would need to be determined experimentally, although my gut feeling is that it would need to be fairly large — 0.75X might be a good starting point).

    I preemptively denounce myself as racist for this post.

  318. Ok, this is what I get for reading the post and not reading the comments. I see now that my comment at #208 seemed out of place and out of nowhere because I was actually commenting on the John Edwards thing.

    So docweasel doesn’t get “funny” and Jeff does.

    That about wraps it up right?

  319. Comment by JD on 8/16 @ 10:14 am #

    SarahW @ 308 – You are wrestling with a pig.

    I love that line when McCain said it regarding not arguing with someone, I can’t remember who. He said he didn’t do it because…. “It’s like wrestling with a pig in mud. You get all dirty and the pig likes it.”

  320. Mr. Pink says:

    Thor do you find it the least bit ironic that you, who are in favor of the government treating people unequally under the law due to their RACE, are calling people in here racist who are for treating people equally under the law regardless of RACE?

  321. N. O'Brain says:

    thor, I refuse to be punsished for the sins my fathers never committed.

  322. Pablo says:

    thor doesn’t mean anything when he call people racists. It’s just a word, says thor.

    In other words, you might as well just ignore him as he’s just babbling.

    It is a tale
    Told by an idiot
    Full of sound and fury
    Signifying nothing.

  323. N. O'Brain says:

    “…perhaps even 60 (counting from the beginning of the New Deal) years of socialist programs, we observe the following facts:”

    I read once that black poverty rates in this country were declining…..

    Up until the inception of the Great Society, where they started increasing again.

  324. Slartibartfast says:

    Thor do you find it the least bit ironic that you, who are in favor of the government treating people unequally under the law due to their RACE, are calling people in here racist who are for treating people equally under the law regardless of RACE?

    Is it possible that Mr. Pink is beginning to catch on? Tune in next week and see.

  325. Pablo says:

    I think Mr. Pink just needed to find the light switch and stop bashing his shins on the furniture.

  326. McGehee says:

    Thor doesn’t do irony.

  327. […] * Posted by Jeff G. @ 8:23 am | Trackback SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: “The “That Obama fellow is kinda lame” post (from the protein wisdom intratextual series, geared toward pseudo-hipster posers and brainwashed sycophants)”, url: “https://proteinwisdom.com/?p=13157” });   […]

  328. Carin says:

    Spies … you must be denounced, of course. How DARE you talk about incarceration, literacy, illegitimacy and high school drop out rates! That they have trended negative is a complicated situation that I’m sure can only be understood after taking many “black studies” courses.

  329. Hadlowe says:

    Dear god, how did we get from titties and liquor to incarceration and fatherlessness?

    Hrmm, on second thought, that seems like a pretty natural progression of events.

  330. I remember the flaming armadillo incident. It used to be the highlight of my week, before the guest-poster era, to F5F5F5F5F5F5 on the main page every Friday in anticipation of an armadillo update. Had the sonofabitch ever danced, however, I would have been shattered.

    That Dan does not take umbrage at the flaming armadillo pics strikes me as odd. The closest analogy I can come up with would be a local no-brand coffee shop putting a billboard on their roof for Dunkin Donuts coffee, claiming DD proudly uses Folgers Crystals, and the local DD manager being cool with it.

  331. happyfeet says:

    I wish we had a Dunkin Donuts in my zone. With parking.

  332. thor says:


    Comment by Pablo on 8/16 @ 12:22 pm #

    thor doesn’t mean anything when he call people racists. It’s just a word, says thor.

    In other words, you might as well just ignore him as he’s just babbling.

    It is a tale
    Told by an idiot
    Full of sound and fury
    Signifying nothing.

    Sad is pobresito Pablo
    All his pride died at the Alamo
    Now Pablo wet-kisses Anthony Scalia
    an’ bitterly quotes Wikipedia

  333. thor says:


    Comment by N. O’Brain on 8/16 @ 12:19 pm #

    thor, I refuse to be punsished for the sins my fathers never committed.

    With a sturdy walking stick and a hobo sack, you might make Mexico by tomorrow morning.

    To stay is to suffer. Suffer ye no mas.

  334. happyfeet says:

    It’s way too hot to walk to Mexico today I think. Unless you’re really well-conditioned.

    Warning signs of heat stroke vary but may include the following:

    * An extremely high body temperature (above 103°F, orally)
    * Red, hot, and dry skin (no sweating)
    * Rapid, strong pulse
    * Throbbing headache
    * Dizziness
    * Nausea
    * Confusion
    * Unconsciousness

    Don’t be a statistic is all.

  335. N. O'Brain says:

    Comment by thor on 8/16 @ 2:52 pm #

    My ancestors fought to free the slaves.

    So fuck off.

  336. thor says:

    Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 8/16 @ 11:15 am #

    Thor mentions “logic”.

    Let’s think this one through, shall we?

    After 40 (counting from the beginning of LBJ’s Great Society) or perhaps even 60 (counting from the beginning of the New Deal) years of socialist programs, we observe the following facts:

    Incarceration rates: much higher.
    Literacy rates: much lower.
    Percentage of stable families: much lower.
    Illegitimacy rate: much higher.
    School dropout rate: much higher.

    Would you like to order yourself a two-headed stuffed thor monkey? Onto such a monkey you could project silly second-rate rhetorical curses and passe wingered outbursts. You could wax glowingly of the righteousness of your simplified repeated lies dedicated to divisioning the races, the bad science sort!

    Big, smart white man like you knows how to preach ’em up right. You should run through Harlem wearing a cape. It might take all your special powers to learn ’em blacks on how much you care. I’ll stay’m here and keep’a prayin’ them blacks don’t fault God for their sins, Son’o God knows you’d tremble and shake and send out the four horsemen of the apocalypse to revenge their blasphemy.

    Another chapter down?

  337. thor says:

    Comment by N. O’Brain on 8/16 @ 4:22 pm #

    My ancestors fought to free the slaves.

    So fuck off.

    So why don’t you do their memory justice and show some spine.

  338. The Lost Dog says:

    “Are you going to spank me now?”

    Only if you put on your wetsuit first.

  339. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Would you like to order yourself a two-headed stuffed thor monkey?

    Translation: you have no response.

    Have a great evening, thor.

  340. Dan Collins says:

    Eric in Atlanta, I have to choose my umbrage recipients wisely. There’s so much at which to take it, that I’m afraid I’ll spend it all on unworthy recipients.

    I admit it: I have a finite capacity for umbrage. So I figure that makes me not God or fucking Glenn Greenwald. And there you have it.

  341. thor says:

    Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 8/16 @ 4:47 pm #

    Would you like to order yourself a two-headed stuffed thor monkey?

    Translation: you have no response.

    Have a great evening, thor.

    No, I don’t have much of a response to that carcass of insane white-race superiority bullshit you posted. I do have me a beautiful sunset in South Florida though.

    Maybe it’s just that the color of their skin reminds you of dog turds, who can really say why you harbor such cheap intellectual animus in your brachycephalic head.

  342. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Translation: you still have no response.

    Have a great evening, thor.

  343. happyfeet says:

    Maybe it’s just that the color of their skin reminds you of

    other people with that same color of skin that maybe you’ve seen on your favorite broadcast network television program like ER or that one where everybody has secret super powers. Or that one girl on Battlestar that hooked up with the kind of poofy British guy for awhile that thinks he’s so buff and won’t keep his shirt on. She was also on Jeremiah too but that got canceled after season two. Also, movies.

  344. thor says:

    You underscore differentials to prove there should be none. That doesn’t make sense.

    There’s your translation, your shorter SPB.

    Fine evening to ya as well.

  345. The Lost Dog says:

    thor,

    You are the perfect example of why we laugh at proggs and speak “truth to power”.

    The left has destroyed the black nuclear family, destroyed their neiborhoods, and torn down their houses, to erect (for the “Black community”) buildings that amout to de facto prisons, and make a once proud people dependent on idiots like you.

    Do you honestly believe that socialism has done anything to help these people? We, as a couyntry have spent in the neighborhood of seven trillion deollars in our so called war on poverty.

    And what are the results? Anyone with a computer and a few minutes of spare time can find out. There are no results! We stand just about where we stood before LBJ decided to buy the black vote by re-enslaving them.

    And you are arrogant enough to call us racists?

    Pitiful. You sound like you might be somewhat intelligent, but your claims of “racism” belie any intelligence that you might possess.

    Are you fucking deaf, dunb, and blind?

    Apparently so…

  346. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Whatever you say, thor.

    Snicker.

  347. happyfeet says:

    oh. “Dream as big as you can dream and anything is possible” I say. But also you have to work hard.

  348. thor says:

    No, after you!

    Giggle.

  349. happyfeet says:

    Also for real in the script it almost always gives skin color notes and suggestions for the casting director, lots of which actually have lots of pigment themselves. I know one in my building that’s very nice but he wears a boa and sort of gets in my zone of personal space sometimes when we’re out smoking at the same time.

  350. The Lost Dog says:

    And, apparently, I don’t spell so good when I can’t see half of what I’m writing…

  351. Jeff G. says:

    No, I don’t have much of a response to that carcass of insane white-race superiority bullshit you posted. I do have me a beautiful sunset in South Florida though.

    Well, how about some counter proof that the statistics are faulty, or, failing that, some explanation for why they are what they are — other than that by citing them, SBP is, like so many others with whom you disagree, an unreconstructed racist?

    You underscore differentials to prove there should be none. That doesn’t make sense.

    Not the way I read it. The way I read it is that SBP noted the differentials over a given time period under which the country followed a particular strategy to improve racial divisions. The clear suggestion from SBP, therefore, was that that strategy has produced results that run counter to its intent.

    Thus, the argument is clear: the strategy that we’ve been laboring under as a country — one that you support and wish to see continue — has failed those it was supposed to be helping, at least by certain statistical measures. Therefore, a change of strategy might be called for.

    Howsabout you answer that argument — not with urban poetry, but with something substantial.

  352. happyfeet says:

    The casting director drives a really nice car. I’m not sure what strategy he used.

  353. thor says:

    And you are arrogant enough to call us racists?

    Well if you’re conjoined at the head with someone I’ve called a racist then maybe you have your plural usage correct, other than that I’d suggest you step away from Mommy’s skirt and speak up and answer for yourself.

    Show me where I’ve been serious in calling you or a “them” racists.

    Pitiful. You sound like you might be somewhat intelligent, but your claims of “racism” belie any intelligence that you might possess.

    I do do insults well. Pity that. You remind me of a message spray-painted outside a house in New Orleans after Katrina, it said “possible child body inside.”


    Are you fucking deaf, dunb, and blind?

    Apparently so…

    You mean “dumb,” and that’s a purposeful pun.

  354. Carin says:

    Howsabout you answer that argument — not with urban poetry, but with something substantial

    That’s not the way Thor rolls. He know that the argument put forth by Spies (and suggested by the negative trending) is wrong, because Thor once banged a black chick.

  355. happyfeet says:

    The guy that washes the casting director’s car also has pigment and listens to hiphop while he does the washing. But no one seems to find this ironic or anything. Mostly they just sort of notice that he raised prices from when the other guy what was washing before. I really liked the guy before cause the first time I went I gave him my keys and started to tell him where I had parked and he told me my car color and make and where I park without me saying anything. That was really classy I thought. His strategy was he didn’t pay rent for a year is what the receptionist says.

  356. thor says:


    Comment by Jeff G. on 8/16 @ 5:43 pm #

    Howsabout you answer that argument — not with urban poetry, but with something substantial.

    How’s about I’m not a bag of instant answers, but I would point out that if there’s a decline in, say, literacy amongst blacks (and I doubt that in it’s face), how’s about citing it comparatively with any decline or increases for other groups. You know, how’s about a little honest analysis instead of blanket statements that disparage one group in lieu of comparing statistics that might show the same trends elsewhere.

    Do I defend AA, yes. Can you change AA arguing with me, no. Will you change my mind through use of blanket and biased statistical rhetoric, no.

    So what’s the point? I’ve articulated my thoughts. I’ve shown examples, i.e. Jackie Robinson, of why I think the way I do. I’ve stated in no uncertain terms I’m merely translating the logic of the highest courts in the land based on what I understand their logic to be. I’ve stated AA was never a perfect solution, for there could never be one, that’s my belief. I do not craft laws nor rise to their defense for the sake of endless, useless debate. I’m a bad defender of my thoughts.

    Shackle me. Humiliate me. Parade me about. Blows to the head, OK, but please not the tenderest areas of my face. I’ve enough scars.

  357. thor says:

    #

    Comment by Carin on 8/16 @ 5:49 pm #

    Howsabout you answer that argument — not with urban poetry, but with something substantial

    That’s not the way Thor rolls. He know that the argument put forth by Spies (and suggested by the negative trending) is wrong, because Thor once banged a black chick.

    Now that’s some classy. Po Russkey eta klossney.

  358. happyfeet says:

    But at some point isn’t affirmative action sort of stale and kind of in need of a brand overhaul if people are going to keep selling it, thor? Success… brought to you by Affirmative Action® … it just doesn’t really resonate in the marketplace any mores. Baracky will know what to do. He knows how to pimp this sort of thing like nobody’s business I bet.

  359. thor says:

    Yes it’s a fair argument that AA is stale, and one isn’t racist if one argues such! Baracky has mentioned changing it.

    How in flying fish turds did I become the last great defender of AA? Oh yes, because I’m a thoughtful person with a deep curiosity in both sides of a debate without regard to overly political re-hashed garbonzo-filled fist-pounding.

    As if I care that you think you love America more than I because of my political sway. Ha! I have my choices of where to live, real alternatives! Yet I live here. I have my choices of where to study. Yet I study with the low people at a modest State institution, one that hosted the Republican debates, and proudly did so. And I now live in a city that has a George Bush Ave. Cut me and I bleed apple pie. You people should be ashamed! I do not dismember the heads from children’s dolls, nor do I remove the fins from the fish I catch and release.

    Not.An.Animal.No.Matter.What.Jeff.Says.

    If I have insulted anyone heretofore I denounce myself for some of it. There.

  360. Jeff G. says:

    How’s about I’m not a bag of instant answers, but I would point out that if there’s a decline in, say, literacy amongst blacks (and I doubt that in it’s face), how’s about citing it comparatively with any decline or increases for other groups.

    Well, sure. How about it? You dismiss other people’s statistics without offering any kind of rejoinder. Look it up and share. That forwards the debate. Because frankly, your “doubt on its face” doesn’t hold much water.

    You know, how’s about a little honest analysis instead of blanket statements that disparage one group in lieu of comparing statistics that might show the same trends elsewhere.

    BZZZZZZT. “Honest analysis” would not conclude that blanket statements have been made without offering proof that they are, in fact, blanket statements. And to do that requires some kind of statistical answer.

    GOOGLE IT!

    Will you change my mind through use of blanket and biased statistical rhetoric, no.

    See above. Or stay here at eye level and continue to beg the question.

    I do not craft laws nor rise to their defense for the sake of endless, useless debate.

    If you think the debate is “useless,” why engage at all? I happen to think the debate is important — and that if it weren’t for persistence, things would remain pretty much the same.

    Your mileage may vary, of course.

  361. thor says:

    I don’t care to enter into a academic look-it-up frenzy with someone who didn’t have the intellectual honesty to do that in the first place. Shall I play pioneering defender for things that I know damn well depend more on outlook and formed opinion than whether my cursive rhetorical strokes are exactly formed.

    It’s simply a matter of opinion when you get right down to it. But some people’s opinions freakin’ wreak of one-sidedness and worse. You don’t hold up Condi as exemplary and bag every achievement of Barack without someone saying that’s not fair analysis, it’s colored (no pun intended) with so much political favoritism that it’s cheap, stupid and so overly-political that it’s almost downright un-American in my book.

    If we’re a fair peoples then let’s play it fair all the way down the foul ball line.

    That’s the foundation of my logic, zee kernal stuck in my teeth.

  362. McGehee says:

    It’s simply a matter of opinion when you get right down to it.

    Somehow the crime of disagreeing with your opinion carries a more savage penalty than the crime of disagreeing with Jeff’s.

    Since you haven’t been, like, hounded away.

  363. happyfeet says:

    every achievement of Barack

    Mostly he got better press than Hillary. For real, if Baracky had never lived what would be different? Geraldine Ferraro would not be immortalized as a racist is all I can think of offhand.

  364. Jeff G. says:

    How in flying fish turds did I become the last great defender of AA? Oh yes, because I’m a thoughtful person with a deep curiosity in both sides of a debate without regard to overly political re-hashed garbonzo-filled fist-pounding.

    Hahahahahaha! Thoughtful and curious — just not enough so to get into those tedious “academic-look-it-up” frenzies that really unthoughtful, incurious people (who are probably racists anyway) sometimes refer to as using facts in support of assertions.

    It’s simply a matter of opinion when you get right down to it. But some people’s opinions freakin’ wreak of one-sidedness and worse.

    Like, for instance, someone who calls those who actually DO bring facts to the table “racists”?

    And no, it’s NOT a matter of opinion. I mean, I’m sure to YOU it is, because you refuse to play the academic game of believing factual analyses and the like — which in turn makes it easy to pretend that the entire Great Society / Bakke-forward strategy for “fixing” the racial divide can’t be quantified or analyzed fairly.

    You don’t hold up Condi as exemplary and bag every achievement of Barack without someone saying that’s not fair analysis, it’s colored (no pun intended) with so much political favoritism that it’s cheap, stupid and so overly-political that it’s almost downright un-American in my book.

    Why is that? Maybe you believe Condi is exemplary and Obama an empty-suited huckster riding the crest of a particular cultural ethos. That has nothing to do with race. Unless you think it necessary to see both as nothing but representatives of “their” “race”. Which I don’t.

  365. Jeff G. says:

    Incidentally, the Thernstroms have done the hard work for you of looking at the statistics for things like comparative literacy trends. You can purchase America In Black and White at fine bookstores and online retailers everywhere.

  366. thor says:

    Right and wrong isn’t measured in link-counts nor is there complete exoneration from individual preferences, nor a finality to every issue. Opinions of what’s right and wrong can often be described as fluid. Some things move me and some things move right through me. Like poetry.

    Agree to disagree, shake of the hands, still friends, fight left in the ring, Springtime still comes to Vienna, world turns, throw it around and see what sticks where.

    We’re not meant to know all the secrets. Maybe we’re better at crisis to crisis.

  367. happyfeet says:

    My heart expands,
    ’tis grown a bulge in it,
    inspired by your beauty…
    effulgent.

  368. Hadlowe says:

    Was that a concession speech I just smelled? I couldn’t tell because it was covered up with the rank stench of equivocation.

  369. SarahW says:

    HF, is that true? I had no idea.

  370. happyfeet says:

    oh. That’s a quote from the season finale of Angel where Spike goes to a poetry slam and … slams, I guess. Thor is very Spike I think.

  371. B Moe says:

    Some things move me and some things move right through me. Like poetry.

    And shit.

  372. McGehee says:

    Rhyme in one hand and shit in the other. See which one fills up faster.

  373. happyfeet says:

    oh. I meant series finale.

  374. thor says:

    I once wrote a paper about the rich horror of art. Outside Saint Petersburg, Pitreberg, Leningrad, whatever, there was once a million works of art buried to protect it when the Nazis invaded. People, families, still sneak out there and poke the ground with sticks. Where they find the remains of a soldier’s body they move on. But if they found a precious something from the Romanov-era they’d live ever so happily. Richly so, that is if they could sneak it out of the country, the same country that at one time made all its citizenry cough their art up by force of gun. Any form of art the State felt to be of value the State felt it necessary to own. For the people!

    Why? Why are the remnants of man worth less than man’s shiny things. Why is the ugliness of death trampled in search of the glittering goods the dead once created? Shouldn’t bones be worth more than art? Why shouldn’t we dig for stories, thoughts and truths instead of rings, bangles and coins?

    Value of art, who says. The rules of art’s commercial engagement is buried in conflict and married to force. Art never fought for anything, never changed the world, never was it worth living or dieing for. Art was never worth one human soul. It’s just a dead end of assigned and imagined value.

  375. Pablo says:

    Would you like to order yourself a two-headed stuffed thor monkey?

    Why buy the monkey when you’re getting the poo for free?

  376. thor says:

    Good one, Pueblo.

  377. JHoward says:

    Racist.

  378. JHoward says:

    Oh, and thor, as if this needed saying again.

    I’m not impressed. You’re still an intellectual coward with one spectacular ego. Your performance w/i these last dozen posts show all over again a consistent lack of substance and accountability and a great talent for deflecting just criticism. A penchant, even.

    You have no chops at all but you’re good at living with it — it’s unsurprising they go together so well. Evidently you’re even proud of it, tacitly calling it making a feature out of a bug. You love the suck, you made the suck.

  379. Slartibartfast says:

    How’s about I’m not a bag of instant answers

    You are, on the other hand, a bag of instant contradictions and accusations. Usually that kind of thing, completely unaccompanied by anything resembling an argument, results in steeply descending credibility. Fait accompli, thor!

    Right and wrong isn’t measured in link-counts nor is there complete exoneration from individual preferences, nor a finality to every issue.

    Right/wrong and correct/incorrect are almost entirely disjoint, thor. You’re making an emotional argument in a factual world. But the world doesn’t particularly care how you feel; nor do most of its inhabitants. You’re not going to convince many people reading this out of emotive force. Most of us are, instead, convinced that you’re being a dick. Because that’s pretty much all you’ve actually demonstrated.

  380. Pablo says:

    Most of us are, instead, convinced that you’re being a dick. Because that’s pretty much all you’ve actually demonstrated.

    I feel it, and it’s a demonstrable fact. It’s like two, two, two mints in one!

  381. Dan Collins says:

    A man can live for a time without almost anything, except meaning.

  382. thor says:


    Comment by JHoward on 8/17 @ 2:56 am #

    Oh, and thor, as if this needed saying again.

    I’m not impressed. You’re still an intellectual coward with one spectacular ego. Your performance w/i these last dozen posts show all over again a consistent lack of substance and accountability and a great talent for deflecting just criticism. A penchant, even.

    You have no chops at all but you’re good at living with it — it’s unsurprising they go together so well. Evidently you’re even proud of it, tacitly calling it making a feature out of a bug. You love the suck, you made the suck.

    Oh my, look who has arrived to save PW from all the gruesomeness of thor’s existential horror stories, from thor’s Hobbesian jungle, and from tales of lost art from the apocalyypse! It’s JHo, the man from the Land of Chop!

    What up JHO! Come back for some Darwinian word warfare? I thought we went over this chop-fu thing once before, have you no recall?

    I T A L O C A L V I N O

    Italo gots huge chops. Huge! He way-chops your chop. Name a better chopper! And he’s a Leftist with a bold capital L. You’re nothing but a candied punk chop compared to Italo. Your chop-sooey tastes like Jose Marti’s decaying ass, not that I’ve tasted Mr. Marti’s ass, but I like ass metaphors.

    You’re of the lower chop, and always will remain. A big giant green toad, chopped. Probably live off SS. Probably take Amtrak and other forms of government subsidized mass transit. A big, fat, evil prick with a pink neck and a penchant for pointless vengefulness – without much’uva a chop!

  383. JHoward says:

    You leave Amtrak out of this.

  384. thor says:

    That was sort’a a low blow, my bad.

  385. Rusty says:

    #324
    Comment by N. O’Brain on 8/16 @ 12:24 pm #

    “…perhaps even 60 (counting from the beginning of the New Deal) years of socialist programs, we observe the following facts:”

    I read once that black poverty rates in this country were declining…..

    Up until the inception of the Great Society, where they started increasing again.

    In 1959 there were more male head of households in black families than in 1969.

  386. JHoward says:

    A disillusioned Communist wrote fantastic confections, thor, and so you emote and flail at what you can’t so much as define, philosophically or otherwise, rather flexing all that self? Self-evidence by volume, say you, whether buckets or pressure levels of it doesn’t really matter. Whether by choice or by default, one concludes the underlying point doesn’t exist.

    Assuming lacking one doesn’t somehow yet constitute having one, of course: Failing a foundational basis, by no action of your own you still possess a particularly useless, base philosophy, one you’ll trumpet whenever you can, secure in some odd, asserted virtue and ruggedness you can’t define and surely it can’t support.

    No problem, thor. Not in the end. Had the exercise not assumed as much it wouldn’t have begun.

  387. thor says:

    And in white households, how about taking us to 1999.

    Doh!

  388. thor says:

    Well, seeing as neither “you” nor “they” own all the facts, regardless how much you claim to, what is it? The chop! The flair! The aesthetics of the proffer!

    They (leftist turds) have bronzed Monuments of men, great Gods of Chop!, as well. All I’m pointing to is that there are beautiful minds at work on many sides of political debate. You can’t say Calvino sucks. You can say he crafted his words well, and that politically you unequivocally disagree with him, as I do, but the man was a hella chop-smith.

  389. McGehee says:

    Well thor, seeing as how you own none of the facts…

  390. JHoward says:

    Yeah it’s all about the postmodern window-dressing, thor, and always. That and the inherent racism of being born pale.

    Naturally, Calvino has nothing to do with your problem; likewise that you project I’d inherently disagree with his stuff, probably merely because you, the Houdini of ego, do not.

    That you yourself have little mind does count, at least for as long as you make a aimless pest of yourself. Shall we go around a few more times about it?

  391. happyfeet says:

    “THERE ARE NO WHITES WORKING AT G.E. No blacks either. Just people. And we need more.”

    That’s from this blog, what I think kind of has a cool style to it.

  392. thor says:

    I’m just trying to allow some air into your closet, Jho. Calvino was cool.

    “Myth tends to crystallize instantly, to fall into set patterns, to pass from the phase of myth-making into ritual, and hence out of the hands of the narrator into those of the tribal institutions responsible for the preservation and celebration of myths. The tribal system of signs is arranged in relation to myth; a certain number of signs become taboo, and the ‘secular’ storyteller can make no direct use of them. He goes on circling around them, inventing new developments in composition, until in the course of this methodical and objective labour he suddenly gets another flash of enlightenment from the unconscious and the forbidden. And this forces the tribe to change its set of signs once more.”

    Calvino

  393. JHoward says:

    Ah yes, the tribe. You constantly confirm your rigidity, thor. By letting air into all the tribal closets.

    It is clear that the arm of criticism cannot replace the criticism of arms. Material force can only be overthrown by material force, but theory itself becomes a material force when it has seized the masses. Theory is capable of seizing the masses when it demonstrates ad hominem, and it demonstrates ad hominem as soon as it becomes radical. To be radical is to grasp things by the root. But for man the root is man himself.

    -Marx, Contribution to the Critique of Hegel’s Philosophy of Right (1843)

    What bunkum — your turn.

    (Hand you a hammer and nails, thor, and dammed if you don’t go right out and perform the Mobiusian sealing of your own rhetorical coffin. Because of all the beautiful minds…)

  394. thor says:

    It should be duly noted that on this day JHo willingly posted words from the original blood-philosopher himself, Karl Marx.

    Streams of consciousness are flowing backward. The world’s axis must’a moved. The apes are at the gates!

  395. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    “Shackle me. Humiliate me. Parade me about. Blows to the head, OK, but please not the tenderest areas of my face. I’ve enough scars”

    Thor plays the victim, again. What a fucking putz. Jeff asked a simple question and the simpleton couldn’t answer it. Shocker.

  396. Slartibartfast says:

    It’s Arthur’s battle cry, only more wordy. WE MUST UPGRADE THE APPARATUS!

  397. thor says:

    Or you simply didn’t like the answer, infidel.

  398. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    You never gave one, Thor. I have a feeling your intellect is only challenged by your neurosis. Again, too much creativity in your writings and not enough substance. Flesh it out. I am positive you can.

  399. JHoward says:

    Answering is racist, Obstreperous Infidel. But left-cant, well the truth behind that dogma, it is self-evident, and its innate beauty reveals itself to the Choosen! Oh, the noodles I would make for you boys! And the tribes I would reveal.

    To a thor with a hammer, the whole sphere’s a shell.

  400. thor says:

    To a Jho with a bilge well filled with 6% ale, half the world should burn in hell.

  401. Slartibartfast says:

    Thor is looking for answers, but I think OI is looking for better questions.

  402. JHoward says:

    Would that be the half that already did, thor, or the half that being free, should as the result?

    Halfwit.

  403. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    Jeff’s questions were quite satisfactory, Slart. I know Thor respects no one in here but Jeff, so I thought Jeff’s very straightforward questions might have, at least attempted to have, been answered. I don’t give a shit whether I agree with the answer or not. That’s immaterial.

    Unfortunately, JHoward, I’m beginning to think that song and dance is all that’s there. Disappointing to be sure. I come in here to be educated and Jeff does that it spades. So do others. Hell, even nishi. Thor has it in him, if only he can overcome his issues.

  404. McGehee says:

    Thor has it in him

    And he’ll be damned if he’s gonna let it out.

  405. thor says:

    Look at the badge. See the wing. It points to the right! Yes, it’s my right-wing badge of honor.

    A half-twit on the PW douchenozzle and out comes you two spouting demands for the secret password to enter the treehouse. The right-wing He-man question brigade!

    Give it a break already.

  406. Pablo says:

    Give it a break already.

    Heal thyself, loser.

  407. thor says:

    It, me, whatever.

    “Is he the Messiah?

    Yes he is. Believe it!”

    Hey P-blo, in the Pub we’ve decided to place a windfall profits tax on Exxon/Mobil, unless they invest in America that is. We also decided it would not be un-American to break ’em up into tiny little competitive pieces. American justice! Not even filing a 10-K can save ’em now!

  408. B Moe says:

    By we, thor is referring to the voices in his head.

  409. thor says:

    Bmoe, I bet I made him look, hehehe.

    Comment by JHoward on 8/17 @ 3:57 pm #

    Would that be the half that already did, thor, or the half that being free, should as the result?

    Halfwit.

    I’ve already traced a large male appendage over your missives. You know shit about Marxism, Russia, Stalinism, Russians or the other half of the world in general. You’re full of complete shit – that’s my answer.

  410. McGehee says:

    Thor is full of complete Mopar carburetors. That’s my answer.

  411. Pablo says:

    I’ve already traced a large male appendage over your missives.

    What with rebuttal not being in your arsenal…

  412. Pablo says:

    Hey P-blo, in the Pub we’ve decided to place a windfall profits tax on Exxon/Mobil, unless they invest in America that is.

    Yeah, I saw that Maxine. Tell Barbara Lee hi for me, won’t you?

  413. Slartibartfast says:

    Jeff’s questions were quite satisfactory, Slart.

    No, I was thinking that thor‘s questions were somewhat lacking. As is everything else about thor that he’s revealed, here.

  414. thor says:

    What was the so-called question in question, Question Brigade?

  415. Slartibartfast says:

    I’m guessing all of these completely baseless assumptions you’re making, and have made all along, are some kind of passive/aggressive form of interrogation, thor. Otherwise, none of what you’re doing makes the slightest bit of sense.

    Or maybe you’re up to something else, in which case: share, please.

  416. thor says:

    Comment by Obstreperous Infidel on 8/17 @ 2:43 pm #

    You never gave one, Thor. I have a feeling your intellect is only challenged by your neurosis. Again, too much creativity in your writings and not enough substance. Flesh it out. I am positive you can.

    I went back and re-read the relevant posts in this thread. I donate money and my time to my local Literacy Council. Per you I’d say we’ve much work to do across this great nation.

    What are on about? Just make crap up? I answered all the questions, even the loaded ones.

    If you have psychotic beans in your head, why spill ’em here. Nuerotic “answer the question!” weirdo.

  417. Slartibartfast says:

    …but the question about queffers, whatever that is, was sadly lacking. For one.

  418. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    LOL…Thor, you’re a loon. I tried. I give up. Attrition is your strong suit. You’re not only a loon, but you’re pretty fucking dense as well it seems. The truth is you are fucked in the head. If your fine with it, then so be it.

  419. thor says:

    Are you waving a tube of model airplane glue under your nose right now? The fuck unanswered questions do you have floating around in your scaly head?

    “Answer the question!”

  420. cynn says:

    what’s the question?

  421. JHoward says:

    You know shit about Marxism, Russia, Stalinism, Russians or the other half of the world in general.

    That’s totally fascinating, thor (despite a Russian being on my team — electing to work in the US — and a partner being a former international reporter with more in-country mideast experience than you’ve likely been alive. Yeah, really. Me? I’ve worked on three continents and a pair of island states.)

    You know what’s even more interesting, thor? Self-flattery. About how little use you are about your sole area of asserted expertise.

    More nails?

  422. JHoward says:

    Ya fraud.

  423. cynn says:

    Oh, let me guess: Are we safer now than we are were then? Answer: Who knows? And if we did we’d have to interrogate them. Close that circle.

  424. SarahW says:

    Thor doesn’t want facts. They get in the way of his sense of the way things are and ought to be. So they must be a distraction. Anyone who spends an inordinate time getting those things anyway must have a race-ax to grind, so he can and does dismiss them out of hand.

    Well ok, feel.

    Feel this, if you like gestalt over measures by suspect measurers –
    Affirmative action is worse than useless.

    It undermines the principle that individuality is the trump in all things, and that race, even if it had bright-line perfect edges as a category, which it doesn’t, is not a rational basis for different treatment under the law.

    Undeserved, unearned advantage makes suspect the abilities and achievements of
    its “beneficiaries” – even when they have ability and the capacity for equal achievement.

    It solidifies the perception that blacks can’t achieve, even when given equal opportunity,

    It gets in the way.

    It doesn’t rationally settle any score, but that’s what you’re about. The sheer poetry of generational suffering extracting a kind of vengeance from the supposed beneficiaries of that suffering.

  425. thor says:

    Comment by JHoward on 8/17 @ 9:07 pm #

    That’s totally fascinating, thor (despite a Russian being on my team — electing to work in the US — and a partner being a former international reporter with more in-country mideast experience than you’ve likely been alive. Yeah, really. Me? I’ve worked on three continents and a pair of island states.)

    Why you treasonous little pencil-necked geek, your mea culpa includes the yuckiest of all possible assumptions – that you might’a actually shaken the hand of a Red Commie Russian!

    I hope you crushed his knuckles with your Reaganesque grip. Communism killed 250-million people, and counting!

    This is a dizzying about face from you JHo.

  426. thor says:


    Comment by SarahW on 8/17 @ 9:20 pm #

    Thor doesn’t want facts. They get in the way of his sense of the way things are and ought to be. So they must be a distraction. Anyone who spends an inordinate time getting those things anyway must have a race-ax to grind, so he can and does dismiss them out of hand. … It doesn’t rationally settle any score, but that’s what you’re about. The sheer poetry of generational suffering extracting a kind of vengeance from the supposed beneficiaries of that suffering.

    I am the cold hand of true evil. Ask cynn.

    Ayn jus’ow ’bout dim Jamaykahns mon. Instead of reading books they’re running 100-meter dashes in the moon light.

  427. JHoward says:

    The sheer poetry of generational suffering extracting a kind of vengeance from the supposed beneficiaries of that suffering.

    Che, baby!

    Thor doesn’t want facts…he can and does dismiss them out of hand.

    So it goes when you’re half a friggin’ icon, SarahW: thor’s hammah! Sweatshop free and made in the USA.

  428. thor says:

    Jesus Christ, now I’m the houseboy who washes Stalin’s house slippers in JHo’s Red Menace-era Masterpiece Theater fantasy.

    I did it. I killed all 250-million myself, and counting! Strangled ’em all with State manufactured coat hangers. It’s a bloody business being the devil in The Master and Margarita.

    How many effen times do we have to go over AA? Blacks endure 300-years of brutal slavery yet whites think 30-years of accelerated promotions for minorities at the U.S. Post Office is the end of humanity. The white man’s unbearable suffering must end!

  429. Jeff G. says:

    Has nothing to do with the white man’s suffering, thor. But, are you at least now willing to make the argument that affirmative action should last the length of slavery? Or is there some other metric we should use as a country to decide when enough is enough, and that we’re sending the wrong message by continuing along a certain strategic path?

    Too, why are only some minorities selected for government largesse? I brought up the Japanese before. Put into camps. Property taken. 60-some-odd years ago. Yet, they get bumped from the special dispensation bus…why? Because they’ve achieved?

    Man. What a waste of energy that was. Should have just waited for you to champion them with poetry and feeling

  430. thor says:

    I can’t soothe

    your questions,

    and unrealities.

    Busy are my days,

    humping memes.

    ————————

    Why are you asking me why? I don’t have any of those answers. Life wouldn’t be fair with or without AA. They’ve amended it a dozen ways since Sunday, and they’ll amend and adjust it more.

    When it’s dies it dies and all will be apple pies. It makes for some decent poetic jest though.

  431. thor says:

    In the spirit of caring, I will soon begin a canned food drive for all the victims of affirmative action. I personally sort’a know one gap-toothed hayseed who might’a lost out to a person of color at the opportunity of running a front-loader for FEMA due to affirmative action.

    I ask that you send me or simply post the names of other white victims, and of course I ask that you give generously your extra cans of tuna, bean dip, chili, any flavor of Spam, as well as assorted other semi-nutritious sundries.

    Thank You and God Bless.

  432. Jeff G. says:

    I wonder, did the gap-toothed hayseed to whom you’ll be sending a can of generic garbonzo beans lose out to a slavery legacy candidate? Or to, say, a Kenyan whose father has a diplomatic visa?

    See, thor, we know your game — pretending that people here are crying over “reverse discrimination.” We can deal with the layer of caricature you use to thicken our supposedly racist veneer. It doesn’t change that fact that, as others have pointed out, most people here happen to be upset about the continuation of race-based discrimination, period.

    — Well, except for you. You write impassioned paeans to the suffering urban Basquiats and depict poor whites as doltish hicks who should just shut up and take it. Because, you know, they are the legacy of white supremacy in this country, and it’s okay to make them suffer for keeping Dexter Manley from learning to read.

    Face it: The only race-baiter here is you, thor.

    And what’s worse is, you’re a fucking snob, to boot — the kind of guy who thinks finger-banging a black chick from Cambridge over some Spring Break margaritas gives him magical powers of insight into the black experience.

    But trust me: you are NOT the God MLK was calling on to save his people. You’re just somebody who gets off on the way it feels to pretend you aren’t keeping them down — and to bank some cheap grace in the process.

    Too bad you didn’t fuck yourself a gap-toothed hayseed. Maybe you could have romanticized “their kind,” too — and so saved yourself the embarrassment of defending your own brand of enlightened racism.

  433. Pablo says:

    I am the cold hand of true evil.

    No, cupcake. You’re the tepid hand of inanity.

  434. thor says:

    Comment by Pablo on 8/18 @ 5:51 am #

    No, cupcake. You’re the tepid hand of inanity.

    Cupcake? Must be Breakfast time! Woot!

    Well, Pablo, mm, let’s see, you’re the unlawful gesticualting hand signifier in Cragian discourse.

  435. JHoward says:

    Halfwit. Simpleton. There, corrected myself.

    See, thor, toying with you is like- well, it’s a singular experience, what with the crushing, predictable dullness of your missing every damn point lobbed your way, like ham bones into the path of a lumbering aged mastiff with cataracts and no teeth. You get none of this, so impossibly thick is projection you call enlightenment.

    Where to begin. And why bother, save that you handily charicature the usual, cloying, cutsie bullshit proggs fling around, thinking it the height of alternative thought — tribes! dissent! hegemony! RACISM! The US isn’t perfect, you white Appalachian whitist wingnut whitists! The sputtering is deafening but with you, meaning never left the station.

    I evoke up your asinine Russianisms and somehow I’m seeing the Red Menace. I counter some romantic Calvino frivolity with a bit of the old babbling Karl M. and I’m seeing the Red Menace. You pork you some Russian strumpets — heroically and for the cause, you miserable, mewling child — and suddenly I know shit about an entire nation. Well, two actually. If not half the globe.

    Instead seeing only Red Menace.

    Lame doesn’t begin to describe you, you utterly unenlightened, predictable, pathetic little man. Seriously. Who the fuck do you think you’re addressing, anyway? Or do you?

  436. Pablo says:

    Soory, thor. Someone apparently pilfered by Gobbledygook-English dictionary, so your comment is presently indecipherable as is so often the case.

    See, thor, toying with you is like- well, it’s a singular experience, what with the crushing, predictable dullness of your missing every damn point lobbed your way, like ham bones into the path of a lumbering aged mastiff with cataracts and no teeth.

    Indeed. Heh.

  437. thor says:


    Comment by Jeff G. on 8/18 @ 12:54 am #

    I wonder, did the gap-toothed hayseed to whom you’ll be sending a can of generic garbonzo beans lose out to a slavery legacy candidate? Or to, say, a Kenyan whose father has a diplomatic visa?

    See, thor, we know your game — pretending that people here are crying over “reverse discrimination.” We can deal with the layer of caricature you use to thicken our supposedly racist veneer. It doesn’t change that fact that, as others have pointed out, most people here happen to be upset about the continuation of race-based discrimination, period.

    – Well, except for you. You write impassioned paeans to the suffering urban Basquiats and depict poor whites as doltish hicks who should just shut up and take it. Because, you know, they are the legacy of white supremacy in this country, and it’s okay to make them suffer for keeping Dexter Manley from learning to read.

    Face it: The only race-baiter here is you, thor.

    And what’s worse is, you’re a fucking snob, to boot — the kind of guy who thinks finger-banging a black chick from Cambridge over some Spring Break margaritas gives him magical powers of insight into the black experience.

    But trust me: you are NOT the God MLK was calling on to save his people. You’re just somebody who gets off on the way it feels to pretend you aren’t keeping them down — and to bank some cheap grace in the process.

    Too bad you didn’t fuck yourself a gap-toothed hayseed. Maybe you could have romanticized “their kind,” too — and so saved yourself the embarrassment of defending your own brand of enlightened racism.

    I’m confused Jeff, you mean “reverse discrimination” isn’t a front and center in a comparative narrative that cites literacy failure as fact in the house of Baldwin and as further proof that social programs and AA failed “them” and “those” people. We never fail, we’re all F. Scotts and O’Hares in the house of fuck’emwhocares. Why the arguments measured by race-group instead of the aggregate whole then?

    You just don’t get thor, do you? I’m about reversing love discrimination. I feel. And laugh! I’m a cart-wheeling hug-monkey. Hugs being the only known temporary cure for agony and suffering, as you know. I do feel and see, redeem and read, always quick with a BandAide when a wound’s in need. And know this, goddamit, at my funeral, under shade of a tree, a Pretenders cover band will sing that line “trapped in a world he never made …” during my eulogy. I want to be goodness! Defined as such by a society that labels me, a society that surely is a post-modern fashion unreality, yes, but whatever, at least I don’t believe Darwinistic cannibalism on the Serengeti is all we have to offer. You can be suspicious and hostile of my motives, but I’m not confused. I only have so much time. Let me give and believe in a fantasy that life’s more than wading through the slog with blood up to my knees.

    ——————————–

    People, my canned goods food drive has been called off. All I’ve received so far is cans of Hormel products with long-expired eat-by dates stamped on ’em. The thought of spreading salmonella to those who stomachs have already by weakened by AA is far more than I can bear.

    New idea! cynn, how about sending me some of your home-made candles? Dan, how about donating some Vermont Teddy Bears? That’s right, a candlelight teddy-bear vigil!!!! (Brilliant, I know!)

    Add to that a kiss-a-thon (exclusively hetero) and who knows how much money and awareness we can raise for the plight of victims of affirmative action.

    Love isn’t something fated! We gotta work it people!

  438. thor says:

    You pork you some Russian strumpets

    In my moments of wine-soaked tenderness I’ve been known to assume a stance and lends itself nicely to throwing a vicious left hook upon hearing things similar to that.

  439. Sdferr says:

    You certainly are gathering in the love of the people here, aren’t you thor? Could they dig you more, I mean given all the rapt attention their giving you?

  440. Slartibartfast says:

    That’s “rapped”. Or, possibly: “wrapped”.

  441. thor says:


    Comment by JHoward on 8/18 @ 8:23 am #

    Lame doesn’t begin to describe you, you utterly unenlightened, predictable, pathetic little man. Seriously. Who the fuck do you think you’re addressing, anyway? Or do you?

    Asking me to describe who I think you are is an invitation I don’t think I can pass up.

    You’ve never set your Right foot in Russia. Never let a Russian win an argument of Russian warfare superiority versus that of American. Never been confronted with the fact that every fallacy is a soldier, besides arguments of this sort inevitably lead to cracking the seal of another bottle of vodka, which is always done in unison with tales of from which Russian city said vodka twas bred. And of course, you have to toast in those annoying Russian cliches, “bizarra nyet!”

    No, but you’re the type that’ll one day find his nerve and gander when the airfare gets cheap enough. And you’ll plop down next to me at an expat bar in Moscow, give me a archer’s elbow and begin your bloviater’s function.

    “So, hey, my name’s John, and so I get off the plane and there’s no line. They just crowd like savages to the front of those little green booths where the apparatchiks in uniform either let you in or send you home. Then I can hardly breath from the smoke! Right in front of the No Smoking sign they’re lighting up. These people have no respect for authority, I tell ya, and it’s fuckin’ weird. How ’bout you, where you from?”

    “Me? I’m just here to fuck fallen stumpets. Enjoy. Beer’s on me. Peace.”

  442. Pablo says:

    In my moments of wine-soaked tenderness I’ve been known to assume a stance and lends itself nicely to throwing a vicious left hook upon hearing things similar to that.

    Which no doubt leads to you receiving some of those thousands of punches to the face you’ve taken.

  443. thor says:

    Yep. Mostly fatherless blacks and angry Mexicans used to hit me in the face. Bad people, all of ’em. Too bad I had to teach so many of ’em how to bleed.

    Fun memories.

  444. McGehee says:

    Too bad I had to teach so many of ‘em how to bleed.

    By example, no doubt.

  445. thor says:

    You don’t fight at the Boy’s Club if you’re white unless you’re pretty good. They discriminate!

  446. McGehee says:

    I always pictured you as kind of pinkish.

  447. Sdferr says:

    It is well nigh impossible to be pink in south Florida. Even if you stay indoors near all the time, the sun can reach out and get you through the windows. Heh.

  448. JHoward says:

    Projecting Red again, thor. Imagine that.

  449. thor says:

    How about the amateur action in the Olympics? In boxing they’ve become very well trained in technique and most all have patience to set up before they throw, even from countries you can’t pronounce. Impressive indeed.

  450. JHoward says:

    In my moments of wine-soaked tenderness I’ve been known to assume a stance and lends itself nicely to throwing a vicious left hook upon hearing things similar to that.

    I’ll be in FL soon enuf, thor. All 6′ 190lbs. And you’re telegraphing.

  451. thor says:

    Big, dumb and slow, you’re made to order.

  452. JHoward says:

    Regale us again, thor. O please do.

  453. thor says:

    You don’t know enough about Russia to dispel even the foggiest of your received ideas. Go, learn. It’s a pleasant place. Good people. I wouldn’t say the food is good, but the vodka and pussy is.

  454. nikkolai says:

    Looks like the tough guys are coming out on this thread.

  455. thor says:

    Rrrrr! I’m working out on the heavy bag to flatten out my hands. Sean Hannity has a flat face, but he’s huge! Travels the country with a personal trainer and his very own Nautilus machines.

  456. JHoward says:

    Well, it is all about Russia, thor; I mean, what isn’t. Lacking substance in every other subject, let me be the ninety-second first to say how much I anticipate your every informative post.

  457. thor says:

    It’s about lashing out, is it not? And holding hands under rainbows.

  458. JHoward says:

    It certainly appears to be.

  459. Mikey NTH says:

    You do Sen. McCarthy proud, thor.

  460. thor says:

    Are you speaking of binge drinking?

Comments are closed.