My father told me, as his father told him, “Be careful what you wish for. You might get it.” I have found that to be true more than once in my life.
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Not saying they originated the quote, just that I heard it from my father first.
Speaking of Catherine Zeta-Jones and Beyonce.
But only in the Chinese “interesting times” kind of way. If only I could count the number of times I’ve wished for something exciting and not had it happen…
When I was 10 I made a birthday wish to be a monkey. Glad that one didn’t come through for me.
On the other hand, monkeys often throw their feces at others when angry and no one chastises them for it because it’s what they do. That might come in handy.
Plus they masturbate, so there’s that.
Ahh yes.. The proverbial sage fatherly advice..
Mine told me, “Son.. be careful what you wish for because your internal voice might be broken and she’ll hear you.. and have her big boyfriend kick your ass..”
Ok.. Admittedly his advice wasn’t all that useful..
I wished for a bunny and that didn’t turn out so hot.
I wish I had a monkey’s paw.
I wished for a new post to get me off the last one and my wish was granted. Nothing bad has happend so far.
I wish Mike Huckabee would have entered a rib-eating contest back in ott-7, contracted BBQ sauce-poisoning and had to sit out the primary season.
A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you’re fast asleep.
My dad once told me to wish in one hand and sh!t in the other and see which one filled up quicker.
Though I normally wouldn’t link to youtube, this might be appropriate.
I’m not big into just using women, but today I found myself wishing I could bang Victoria Osteen.
There’s a special place “you know where” waiting for you Salt Lick. That was naughty.
It’s just that she doesn’t seem to be real. I could never have banged Anna Nicole because I’d have felt like I was helping someone kill herself. But Vickie Osteen’s like an alien that’s taken human form, so whatever happened between us wouldn’t be real. Like when I was 13 and had wet dreams about Disney characters like Tinker Bell.
I gotta to because there’s a load of wet stucco outside calling my name, but I will ponder your admonition, cranky.
Don’t ponder it too much. It isn’t worth it.
Uh, who is Victoria Osteen? Any relation to the unctuous Joel Osteen?
yes, kelly, wife of Joel. in the news today because she’s going to court for allegedly assaulting a flight attendant. I think that’s right.
If you keep your expectations low enough you can meet them.
Salt Lick,
When I was young, I never thought of it as using women, I thought of it more as borrowing them for a while.
Semantics are (is?) pretty cool sometomes.
My dad told me, “Son, life is like a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat.”
My dad never passed any of that kind of wisdom on to me. He told me “No, the crescent wrench!”
My favorite was when I was shopping for my first vehicle and after test driving a few of them and talking to relatives who were car sales: “You can get whatever you want, but if something goes wrong with it, you have to fix it yourself.”
in the news today because she’s going to court for allegedly assaulting a flight attendant.
Good for her. I like her already.
Rachel Lucas has a post up:
http://tinyurl.com/5m493r
MY father always said, “Son, never fuck up.”
I always use the missionary position.
– My dad told me, son “Whatever you do, where ever you go, remember never to assault flight attendents.”
– As a result I never fly United.
– Or Virgin.
– And feets says that Banana Airlines is the Ghey.
– We got a big “forget it” from Greyhound the other day.
– So I guess its 4 bucks a gallon from here on in. (Unless someone assaults Botox Nan.)
Thanks for the link, N.O’B. That Osteen chick looks pretty much as I imagined her to look. Seriously, though…hemorrhoids?!?
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that flight attendant has some issues.
– Nancy’s book signing party in Michigan isn’t looking so hopeful right now. The State GOP is planning on attending her bash, and conveying a certain urgency for the Botox Bitch to get her bony ass back to DC. Should be interesting.
“Plus [monkeys] masturbate, so there’s that.”
Right, because people NEVER do that.
Ha, BBH, they were talking about that this morning. The book signing is in Ann Arbor (AKA the belly of the liberal beast. I wish I had free time, because I would have loved to go and make some noise.
But, in these troubled times, we should all say a small prayer for Kwame tonight.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that flight attendant has some issues.
I’ve always assumed having “issues” was a job prerequisite for flight attendants.
The State GOP
Michigan has a State GOP?!?!?
– Yes Kelly. There is a massive GOP machine of at least 4 or 5 people somewhere in Umbly near the ship yards.
Pilots call ’em air mattresses.
Kelly, it wasn’t too long ago that we actually had a Republican gov.
sigh ….
– What I want to know is are the airlines going to over inflate the tires on their planes so the US can, according to O!, completely eliminate our dependence on foreign oil.
– Inquiring minds want to know.
– Oh, and passenger push-starts on takeoffs to save even more fuel. Passenger foot dragging in leiu of reversed high power thrusters, yet more energy saving ideas. The Dems are right on top of the problem.
– And behind the whole mess.
– The later was for landings of course.
Michigan has a State GOP?!?!?
Don’t have to be very big to outnumber her book sales, under 3000 the first week. lolololol.
“Comment by SarahW on 8/7 @ 11:20 am #
I wished for a bunny and that didn’t turn out so hot.”
Sarah,
What a coincidence.
By a freak of nature, I once had a bunny, too (in the 70’s). But, unlike your bunny, my bunny was very hot. Not too smart, though.
My dad, the deputy sheriff, told me: “Always keep a gun handy, but never carry it into a bar or a bank.” Fifty years later I’ve found that consistantly good advice.
“I’ve always assumed having “issues†was a job prerequisite for flight attendants.”
And I have always assumed(and rightly so), that flight attendants get free hotel rooms. I love free hotel rooms.
Swen – your father was very wise; explanations can be very tedious.
And considering what airlines do to passengers I give the flight crew a lot of slack. They don’t make policy and got to deal with all of the humans.
BTW: Did I say I was an assistant night supervisor at a campground? Imagine the fun of dealing with all of the campers during a dry-spell and no campfires are permitted nor fireworks. And at night alcohol is involved.
Stress? Problems? No, everyone was happy! Happy, I say!
I had some bunnies when I was a kid. I think there were two, but there may have been four — it was a long time ago, and I know for sure there were four hutches. Unfortunately, the winter of 1978 hit, and the bunnies proved entirely too tempting to the local feral dogs…
I told my sons “You should always listen to your Dad, because I might accidentally say something wise”. But they didn’t listen. I probably said all kinds of wise stuff, but it was wasted.
When I was a kid we raised rabbits for food.
Mmmm, fried bunny.
Heh.
I worked at a campground once, and it was pretty neat.
But it wasn’t as good as having your mom as the head of the local Pony Club. Horses were much better than puppies when I was eighteen years old!
Ancient history, by the way, but it still gives me a tingle once in a while.
Right, because people NEVER do that.
Right, so you’re covered either way. Also, monkey masturbation isn’t a sin as near as I can figure.