From a comment at Willamette Week, in response to their editorial endorsing O! :
I attended Sunday’s big Obama-rama in Waterfront Park. Had a fine time.
However – I was competely offended when I saw several different men in line wearing t-shirts that said “Bros before Hoes” with photos of B & H.
Dude – way to lose my vote !
protein wisdom offers an unsolicited response: “Dude. Pick a card, any card…”
Then, of course, there’s this — which originally appeared as an “[a]ctual illustration accompanying Willamette Week’s endorsement (via) of Barack Obama (which includes references to both “dare we say it?â€â€hope†and “yes, we’ll say itâ€â€changeâ€Â):
What bothers me most is not the gauzy, heavenly light — or even the sweaty, muscled chest and Fred Williamson-like Black Caesar bling. No, what really irks me, as a connoisseur of such cultish kitsch, is that the artist neglected to paint it directly on black velvet.
And of course, no tiger. Which leaves the unicorn hanging out there as a yin without its yang — and leaves Obamessiah as the Christ of the Lamb but not of the Lion.
— And that just ain’t gonna get my people’s warrior afro all a-tingling. If you feel me…
(h/t Rick Moran)
No, what really irks me, as a connoisseur of such cultish kitsch, is that the artist neglected to paint it directly on black velvet.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
You’re the best.
The lion is in his pants! You are two seconds away from a powerful crack of your spine from a pants lion!
Or else the pez-dispenser of lightning bolt fury will be upon you. It’s nice and personalized iwth a “B” on it. Probably set him back.
The roses, they spring from his loins like so much heavenly manna!
Ah, but there is a unicorn. So kitsch preserved!
And really, what’s with the bridge? Just doesn’t fit the motif.
I think it goes to the future or something.
C’mon. Serr8 photoshopped that. Cannot be real.
Or is uniting stuff
RELEASE YOUR HEAVENLY MEMBER FROM THE RESTRAINTS OF ITS WHITE POLYESTER JUMP SUIT!
B.O as Bee Gee.
That is SOOO real. I have the big version.
O! stole “The bridge to the 21st Century”
I think the bridge is lifted from this.
How’s come The Community Organizer has a remote in his hand? or is it a phaser?
I feel embarrassed to have seen it.
Of course, the pic is all a hipster joke, according to the artist, Lukas Ketner. Here’s his explanation for it.
All the same, I think it was sincerely download by a few of the faithful. No science done, that’s just a hunch.
dre, that’s the Holy Cell Phone of Antioch.
Regards,
Ric
Huh, link is not working;, it’s still googleable, though . I’ll post the published correspondence there:
Oh, I know it’s supposed to be a hipster joke. Which is why the lack of true hipsterism is what irked me.
Velvet, people. Velvet.
And tigers.
And like I pointed out in the original post, Willamette Week used it as its illustration initially, perhaps unaware of the irony.
Plus, I’ve got a fiddy says Andrew Sullivan is using this as his screen saver.
He said he hated it but I think not.
I hope O! uses a good deodorant.
Ketner is their regular guy for illustrations, so I think they were savoring the ambiguity. I’m suspicious that way.
I think a tiger riding the Unicorn would have been a nice touch.
Oh, barf. But: hold me, while I’m barfing, ok?
Shouldn’t he be walking on the water?
I’m just saying, is all.
That’s not someone I want in charge I don’t think. He looks like he’s on drugs.
Do we really want to elect someone who hangs out with the homeless underneath the bridge? I’m just askin’
Oh, it’s from Portland. I was wondering, because the bridge sort of looks like the Firth of Forth railway bridge and that’s in Scotland, which sort of makes sense with the unicorn, but not much else.
What this needs is a Photoshop.
That’s not someone I want in charge I don’t think. He looks like he’s on drugs.
He looks like he just raped a white woman.
He does kind of have that glow.
I’m not sure it’s a unicorn. Probably just a white horse for their strong man to ride.
Ah. Portland, so that’s the Steel Bridge. NE corner of the city, leads out to the high-class suburbs.
So the poster recalls this. It’s a genre.
Regards,
Ric
Talk about Blaxploitation.
I put on a T”o”gger.
IIRC, Excitable Andy thought it over-the-top, but didn’t get the artist’s joke or the blackness of his own kettle.
aww, u guyz just jealous.
Dr. Yes has the 411.
Reading that elitist book by Fareed, lookin like he jus stepped out of the pages of GQ.
“Probably just a white horse for their strong man to ride.”
Why is the horse attached to his elbow?
JFK redux.
Just a quick note:
Jill Miller Zimon wrote to let me know that she tried posting the url to the artist explanation here. I don’t know why WP isn’t letting those addresses through, but I let her know that Sarah had already posted the exchange, and that we were aware of the intended irony.
None of which changes the fact that this thing was begging to be painted on velvet.
And it needed a tiger.
I wonder what it looks like lit by a black light?
running for president of the US?
walk around brandishing copy of The Post-American World!
lulz
He looks hot. But the unicorn kills it. It should be a black panther – eating the white unicorn. Our national anxiety on canvas.
The unicorn means Silky Pony for VP.
Unicorns are drawn to virgins, after all. Panther don’t like the competition.
Karl, have u read that book?
its actually pretty hopeful for America, in SES terms.
However, Zakariah is both an intellectual and a SES elistist.
Don’t be fooled by that Mumbal immigrant thingy….he was raised in an upperclass family.
The closest he got to the third world was flyin over it inna jet, or lookin out the window of a lux train car.
Still, JFK was an elite, wasn’t he? Don’t we pick elites to run our governments in general?
I don’t think so. “Follow the bunny.”
don’t need to read the book to know what the visual cortex takes from the photo
lulz
Shut up, nishidiot.
JFK redux.
Without the rational political positions.
That word, “our.” I’m not sure that means what you think it means.
hmmm…what does the visual cortex take from that photo?
young, slim, symmetrical, attractive, energetic, purposeful, welldressed, healthy….
btw, have to go to the neo-cortex to read the title, Karl.
;)
“He’s like a dark, emaciated Elvis. Without the talent!”
Actually, I bet he could put the hurt on a cover of “In the Ghetto” – but in a good way.
not the photo, Rob, but the painting does evoke that….white turned up polyester collar and red roses just screams elvis.
was the artist going for that elvis theme too?
Do you think YMCA would be the sound track for this painting? It has that late 70s vibe.
It’s believable. That’s why it’s funny.
Personally, when I saw this I thought, “Well, that’s another shark jumped.”
I’m thinking something gayer. Something a LOT gayer.
Klaus Nomi-level gay.
Right Said Fred? Because he’s definitely Too Sexy For His Shirt.
Who are these people who paint this kind of shit? Its frigging weird. I am certain it makes him nervous. A person who would paint a picture like this is also certain to put a bullet in him when he does something they don’t like (like refuse to play ‘Misty’ for them or something).
#59: LMAO!
Okay,
This thing has eaten my comment twice now, so no link:
Rob,
“If You Could Read My Mind” the Starz on 54 version from the Studio 54 soundtrack? That gay?
#60
lisa its satire…read upthread.
Gayer.
West End Girls kind of gay.
The only popular song that could accompany this portrait is “Wind Beneath My Wings”.
The perfect accompaniment, however, would be a .gif of synthesized Yani.
Boy George’s Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?
That picture reminds me of this.
not .gif
midi
I don’t know what I’m talking about.
O! really should be sporting some gold in that picture.
So, gayer than this?
Here you go.
One Man’s Dream by Yanni.
It ate my link!
WP has some taste.
Gayer than drag-queen looking singers doing a disco remix of a Gordon Lightfoot song?
[scratching head…]
And, Dan C., I love that song and that band (NTTAWWT) and I say that as a guy who celebrated his 3 year anniversary yesterday and has a 17 day old baby.
Satire and parody only work when one believes it could happen. I bet it would not take long to find some serious depictions that are every bit as funny as this one. Take the one the other day where Jugdish was praying to Baracky.
he’s dead sekseh! but who wants roses in their hoo-ha?
Maggie, you’re right!
He has Balls of Rose.
Afs:
Congrats on the bebeh. Ask your doctor for Provigil, the anti-narcolepsy drug. It works wonders on the sleep-deprived mind.
More ghey than a convention of all of the gleeeeeeeeens, the Cabana Boyz, Excitable Andy, Ellen DeGeneres, George Michael, Elton John, Boy George, and the fan club of La Cage Au Faux.
maggie,
That’s a kinda thorny question.
I was competely [sic] offended when I saw several different men in line wearing t-shirts that said “Bros before Hoes†with photos of B & H.
OK, let me make sure I get this right: “B & H” refers to Bill and Hill, so the guys are ostensibly saying they’re going for Barack over Hillary because he’s a guy and she’s a “ho.” Wouldn’t a picture of Barack be more appropriate in this context?
Also, why didn’t the writer of the post appreciate the cheap boosterism for her candidate? Why would the tee-shirt philosophical musings of Barack fans cause her to not vote for the candidate who had nothing to do with the slogan?
These lefties have me all confuzzled.
I think the B stands for Barack.
C’mon people. Where’s your compassion?
If you’d just been buggered by a unicorn in the Willamett, you’d look like that, too; and you’d be blowing roses out your keister. It’s well documented. Just google unicorn buggery.
um…no. just no.
His mien sure looks post coital. Whether by a randy unicorn or not, I cannot say.
dicentra,
Thanks! Baby Madelynn and mom are doing great. I’d post her (Madelynn’s) web page but apparently Word Press doesn’t like web links.
You can try MadelynnWalker-dot-googlepages-dot-com.
And thanks for the heads up on Provigil. Madelynn does a pretty good job of sleeping for at least 3 hours in a row. Advice from “The Happiest Baby on the Block” has also been incredibly helpful for getting her calmed down.
but f*ckin’ a unicorn? old, but hilarious.
AFS- you are indeed a virile man.
Congratulations on your baby! Babies!!!!
MayBee,
I never realized my virility was in doubt!
Thanks for your congratulations. All well wishes are deeply appreciated.
Whuzzat in his hand? A McDonald’s gift certificate?
AFS – Congrats from my and my little Madeline Grace. Sounds like you are doing well. 3 hours and a burst of screaming is par for the course for us.
JD,
Wow, we almost went with Grace as a middle name (went with Ann to honor Grandma). Congrats to you.
3 hours and burst of screaming is far too familiar. And, I’ve volunteered to change her and bring her to Mom for feedings during the night. Not my brightest idea. Seriously, I don’t know what we would’ve done without that Happiest Baby book.
Aren’t they supposed to sleep through the night at some point?
Comment by dre on 5/22 @ 11:38 am #
I wonder what it looks like lit by a black light?
An empty white shirt?
And does that make the black light racist, or can a black light ever be considered racist?
I denounce myself.
And, have we figured out a song gay enough for that picture yet?
What about Butters’ version of Samwell’s “What, What (In the Butt)”?
AFS- I said that because of this: And, Dan C., I love that song and that band (NTTAWWT) and I say that as a guy who celebrated his 3 year anniversary yesterday and has a 17 day old baby.
Which seemed to have a tinge of a request for virility validation.
Sorry. I was just being goofy.
Oh! I forgot about the first part of that sentence.
Yeah, I would’ve questioned my virility too.
AFS – I think when they turn 3, or somewhere around there. We are 6 weeks out, and got 4 hours between feedings once. Once.
People often say they slept like a baby to describe a good nights sleep. Methinks they have never been around a newborn.
It’s a campaign contribution. From the Hamburgler. They used to be business partners back in the day, but Barry haad to give him the pimp hand when he decided to run for prez.
Nishi: Oh!
Shouldn’t thor be here?
Lisa – Was that a nishigasm?
Had I captioned this, I think I’d have gone with, “They call me MISTER Gibb.”
You’re welcome.
#100 Pablo: He’s probably copying the picture for his desk top and downloading it to a jump-drive so he can have posters of it made for his shrine (with vanilla-almond scented votive candles).
Love. It.
HALF-RACIST!!!11!1!
#101: Ha ha!
No, though.
Hmmmm
@ Jeff G.
What really bothers me is that picture of Obama has him taking off his pants!
That “B” in his right hand is a *belt buckle*!
I’m totally creeped out.
I think the Barney song might work.
“#Comment by dre on 5/22 @ 11:38 am #
I wonder what it looks like lit by a black light?”
It’d fucking glow!
50. Comment by JD on 5/22 @ 12:01 pm #
JFK redux.
Without the rational political positions.
Or the keen wit, brass balls, and hot chicks.
A fine scotch, I like the song and the band, too. That doesn’t mean they’re not kinda ghey, though.
I think the picture should go with something by Keith Sweat. Really, anything would do. Perhaps “Don’t Stop Your Love” or “Make It Last Forever”. But not “Something Just Ain’t Right”.
How about something by R Kelly.
I suggest his latest: “That Ain’t my Torso (I have a mole)”
#113: LMAO! Maybee you are too cool.
Is it just me, or does this need more ears?
Lisa- xoxoxo
OK, I’ve got to work out
This picture is super! Even better to know that it’s satire.
And OT, but –
McCain just DICK SLAPPED the Big O!. Maybe he is finally growing some balls.
And as usual, the left just “doesn’t understand” why McCain would be so snippy about another Big O! intentional distortion of the truth.
White shell Black stone
Barack plays go
Winners Loser
It’s Pootie Tang!
See, my damie, Pootie Tang don’t wa-da-tah to the shama cow… ’cause thats a cama cama leepa-chaiii, dig?
Hey! That’s the done by the same guy that does the Kim Il Jong posters.
Apparently they get huge at that age.
I would be so looking forward to my ’70s if I could be sure I’d still be able to walk.
TLD – I don’t think anyone has ever thought that McCain didn’t have a pair with more brass than a cathedral has bells. Up until now there has been no reason for him to get involved in the Democrat’s knife-fight. But now, Sen. Obama feels secure enough to ignore Sen. Clinton, and Sen. McCain is letting him know that the free-ride is over. IIRC, Sen. Obama already got on Sen. McCain’s bad side when he took back his word to support some legislation. A bad, bad thing for a newbie senator to do to a more senior senator, especially one who takes that whole ‘I gave my word’ thing seriously. There was a letter that was quite polite, but under the surface was very, very chilling.
I’ve never been a senator, but in the field I work in I see the same attorneys everyday. A reputation for playing games in that environment hinders you. I can’t imagine a small body (100 members) like the US senate doesn’t have the same protocols. Don’t screw too hard with the others because they will be back, and they will remember, especially the Big Dogs like McCain, or Byrd. Sen. Obama made a rookie mistake with Sen. McCain and that is going to haunt him. Seriously, when a senator refers to another as his ‘esteemed colleague’ or as his ‘friend’ they mean what the normal definitions of those words mean? I believe ‘frank discussions’ in diplomatic terms, means ‘they exchanged personal insults about each other’s lineage, parentage, morals, behavior, and likely spiritual destination’.
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I’m filling in for thor tonight:
When a 10′ version of this historical rendering is hanging in the entry way of the White House, y’all will be laughing out the other side of your sleeves.
Doh!
When a 10′ version of this historical rendering is hanging in the entry way of the White House, y’all will be laughing out the other side of your sleeves.
Obama Rising From The Waves? It looks like it should be sold in a Cracker Barrel (the restaurant attached to a gift shop) or whatever is the equivalent for the average Blue State yuppie.
Think of it as the upscale saint’s candle for the non-Catholic.
whatever is the equivalent for the average Blue State yuppie.
That would be the guilty pleasure of the “head shop”–where it would, in fact, fit perfectly.
I’m sorry. This just screams “gay porn”.
On the other hand, this is the kind of bad medicine one finds on a “Princess Diana Commemorative Serving Plate”, so there you have it.
I got here late, so let me just say – there’s a new ipecac in town!
You know, there’s probably a Chevy Van somewhere whose side panels would welcome this image to go along with its shag carpet on the dashboard.
jeesh, McCain calls me his ‘friend’ every time he’s on the radio. I feel his care and warmth.
(like Napalm falling on the ‘VC’)
#128: Ha ha! So true.
#130: So, they’ll use it to summon The O! in times of crisis, just like on the cell phone commercial? Groovy.
“WwwwwwWIZARD!!”
Hey! That can’t be nObama – his ears aren’t sticking out far enough!
#133: LMAO!!!!
#34: Shut’cho mouth.
Jez talkin bout Obama.
Baracky most certainly does not have sugartits.
Well, JD, you can’t really tell from that picture.
Maybe there’ll be a followup piece with him completely shirtless and oiled up.
Spies – That is wrong on so many levels. Not as disgusting as that Rosie pic with the hairy back cornholing Michael Moore with a rubber donger, but close. I denounce you.
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