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My first brief conversation with the ghost of Andy Gibb

Me: “So, you following the elections this year?”

Ghost of Andy Gibb: “Elections?”

Me: “Yeah. The presidential elections. In the US.”

Ghost of Andy Gibb:

Ghost of Andy Gibb:

Ghost of Andy Gibb: “Here’s a little secret for you, brother. In Heaven, you can do enough coke to kill a freight train full of circus elephants — and still not get any more dead. Plus, the shit is free.”

Me: “So, that’s, like, a ‘no,’ then…?”

Ghost of Andy Gibb: “Okay, which one of my asshole roadies let you backstage, anyway? You’ve no tits to speak of. SECURITY!”

48 Replies to “My first brief conversation with the ghost of Andy Gibb”

  1. Jeff G. says:

    You are now free to return to your more serious political analyses.

  2. Sean M. says:

    You get haunted by the most interesting people. And all I get is this stupid poltergeist.

  3. happyfeet says:

    If he’d lived Victoria Principal would probably be a lot richer and happier today I think. It’s really tragic. Well, for her anyway.

  4. Rob Crawford says:

    Inexplicably, at first glance I read “ghost” as “chest”.

    It still made sense.

  5. Jeff G. says:

    Any conversation with his chest would likely be spoiled by the blatherings of some uppity medallion.

  6. nishizonoshinji says:

    no, sean, it is a very good thing that the BGs cant make any more of that castrato music.
    really.

  7. happyfeet says:

    Ok so that’s just wrong. The Bee Gees are vital and a lot intrinsic.

    You know it’s all right. It’s ok. I’ll live to see another day.
    We can try to understand the New York Times effect on man.

  8. Jeff G. says:

    I was thinking more Shadow Dancing or Love is Thicker Than Water, but whatever.

  9. TaiChiWawa says:

    Andy finds it necessary to get high in Heaven. Guess there’s just no pleasing some people.

  10. Pablo says:

    No tits? I thought you were working the pecs.

  11. Lisa says:

    #8: Both good songs. I still have both on 45s.

    Has anyone ever told you that you were crazier than a bedbug in June?

  12. Dave in SoCal says:

    Breaking news:

    ‘Dead’ woman awakens after 17 1/2 hours with no brain waves

    No word yet on whether her first words upon awakening were “BRAINS……”

  13. THREE posts today!?

    thanks.

  14. dicentra says:

    Nishi: Andy had nothing to do with the BeeGees. He was their little bro. It’s the death of Maurice (or was it Robin?) that put the kaibosh on their tunes.

    The Bee Gees are vital and a lot intrinsic.

    What he said. Go to iTunes and listen to the sample of “You Win Again” or “Rest Your Love on Me” and tell me about their castrato music.

    iTunes BeeGee count: 21, plus two by baby bro.

  15. Carin- says:

    Good think Jeff posted early — Rush just mentioned that there are Tornados in Colorado. Hope your in the basement, Jeff.

  16. McGehee says:

    12. Comment by Dave in SoCal on 5/22 @ 12:28 pm

    I’m thinking her first words on awakening were, “WEDGE STRATEGY! IDT! THEOCONS! MOTIES! LULZ!”

  17. Carin- says:

    As for the Bee Gees … I honestly can only handle so much falsetto. Was it a year or two ago that they did some sort of concert that was shown on TV, or direct Tv or something?

    I thank the lord every day that I grew up during the Cure and U2 and the Smiths instead of disco. Sure, I was depressed as hell … but at least I don’t have any embarrassing pictures out there of me in bell bottoms.

  18. Jeff G. says:

    I was working out outside when I saw the system go over the mountains. Hit northwest of me.

    But yeah, we all went down to the basement.

    Now it’s sunny again, so I’m off to build up those pecs some more. FOR ANDY!

  19. Carin- says:

    Damn, how many typos can I make in one comment?

    Good thing I have nishi here to make me look competent by comparison.

    THANKS NISH, lulz.

  20. Ouroboros says:

    So let me get this straight… It’s Heaven.. and Andy Gibb is the headliner for all eternity?

    I think you stumbled into Hell by accident…

    Now if you’d been talking to John Bonham that would have been a different story..
    Though he’d probably thrown you out for not having tits as well…

  21. dicentra says:

    Disco has been wronged, WRONGED by pop culture. Saturday Night Fever was a hyper-popular album, everyone had one (except me, who was too poor to spring $12 for a double album), and the enthusiasm was fever-pitched.

    Which is why we all got embarrassed at ourselves a few years later and began dumping on disco as a youthful indiscretion.

    What terrifies me is that we’ll similarly go sour on LOLcats. What will this world be coming to?

  22. psycho... says:

    As for the Bee Gees … I honestly can only handle so much falsetto

    They didn’t get into that rut until the ’70s. “Jive Talkin'” is where the nuts fell off.

    Their ’60s records are many-balled awesome.

  23. happyfeet says:

    He’s right – y’all are just haters. Look at yourselves.

  24. Karl says:

    The band whose site is my usual gig did a hard-rockin’ take of “Nights on Broadway.”

  25. Jeff G. says:

    To this day I can’t hear “How Deep Is Your Love” without getting all misty eyed.

    Sue me, haters.

  26. Sdferr says:

    I never had a shine for the BG’s but I did love me some countertenor, ‘specially that Russell Oberlin guy with NYPMA back in the ’60’s. Come to think on it, Charlie Bressler was pretty good too.

  27. Karl says:

    OTOH, I was a card carrying member of the Insane Coho Lips.

  28. dicentra says:

    I’m sitting here listening to “Love’s Theme,” the instrumental from Barry White, and I’ve realized that the disco era’s most important contribution to modern music is the ubiquitous “wacka-chicka” guitar line.

    Testify!

  29. TODD says:

    Did somebody say “free coke”?

  30. dicentra says:

    psycho… “Jive Talkin'” doesn’t have the falsetto thing, and it was released long before Saturday Night Fever, but it made it onto the album anyway.

    Look, the dudes could sing in three registers: falsetto, a high-normal pop-song register, and a low one. All three are featured in “Nights on Broadway.” I’d like to see Mariah pull that off without sounding like a dog whistle.

  31. nishizonoshinji says:

    haha, ok, old ppl musik.
    sowwy.

  32. Karl says:

    I’m sure O! listens to nothing but Hannah Montana.
    lulz

  33. Ouroboros says:

    “…we’ll similarly go sour on LOLcats..”

    The Ceiling Cat will not be amused.

  34. Mikey NTH says:

    I was once a card-carrying member of D.R.E.A.D.

    One of the funniest tee shirts I saw from that time showed Brezhnev putting an LP on a turntable with a mirrored ball overhead. The slogan was “Disco is a Communist plot”.

  35. MarkH says:

    “Ghost of Andy Gibb: “Okay, which one of my asshole roadies let you backstage, anyway? You’ve no tits to speak of. SECURITY!””

    Happen to have just watched “Charlie Wilson’s War.” A constituent asks one of the girls in his office, “It’s all females here, is that normal?” She replies, “Well Charlie always says you can teach men to type, but you can’t get them to grow tits.”

  36. ccs says:

    Carin, excellent taste in music.

  37. Dave in SoCal says:

    haha, ok, old ppl musik.
    sowwy.

    I’m sure Radio Disney is more your speed.

  38. Mikey NTH says:

    Old people music?

    What makes that even more funny is my two year old neice likes Sinatra. I guess that’s what happens when daddy picks you up to dance with that. “Some enchanted evening…”

  39. B Moe says:

    haha, ok, old ppl musik.

    It is not NEW! and IMPROVED!

  40. SarahW says:

    can’t listen… with out getting misty eyed

    “Pump it up” has the just same effect on me, Jeff.

  41. Mikey NTH says:

    And the political joke about ‘old people music’ is this – old people vote. Reliably. In large numbers. The youth? They don’t vote in large numbers.

  42. Mikey NTH says:

    My dad once told me a story about a coleague, how politically left he was. Until he got married. Until he got a mortgage. Until he had children.

    Reality. Surprises more people everyday…

  43. McGehee says:

    It hides in the tall grass.

    Waiting.

  44. Lee says:

    No shit: I lost my virginity to How Deep Is Your Love.

    I’m divorced from the woman now, so it lost some of it’s misty eye inducing qualities for me…

  45. datadave says:

    Andy Gibb? Not really a BeeGee…the too young brother….had a thing for Victoria Principal” the most well preserved 58 y.o. out there…she dumped the cocaine addicted Gibb and later married a plastic surgeon….Dr. “McGreedy”. Gibb died heartbroken (literally) at 30 y.o.

  46. Rob Crawford says:

    No shit: I lost my virginity to How Deep Is Your Love.

    Personally, I’d take that as an insult.

  47. I started a joke which started the whole world crying….

    Man, the ugly one could sing…Fredo Gibb, right?

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