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In which I break character and answer a transparently loaded question about Ms Shannon Elizabeth's parodic/allegorical sexual proclivities

Yesterday’s post on the Marcotte / Savages dustup (and subsequent self-loathing, overtly “introspective” world wide apology tour) — presented in the form of a Shannon Elizabeth riff — has, as I’d imagined it might, brought the establishment feminist boilerplate out in full force: I am, evidently, in addition to being an asshole (confirmed), also a “racist” and a supporter of either “grey rape” or full on rape (each charge ridiculous).

One of those who chimes in on my insufferable racism and smug, patriarchal presumptuousness is left-leaning site regular Lisa, who writes:

I guess I am stupid, but how does your fixation with Shannon Elizabeth and rappers/black men (with their superiorly-sized penises)wanting to rape yer white wimminz meme tie into the Amanda Marcotte (and all of that white privlege/gnashing of the teeth) book kerfluffle?

Interesting sex fantasy choice though. Hmmm.

— To which I am less than thrilled to respond, but to which I shall respond, if only because the time has come to point out certain of the less than charming rhetorical ploys being clumsily attempted by my critics.

So, here it goes:

Yes. I suppose it’s possible that maybe you are stupid, Lisa. In which case, pity that. But perhaps you just aren’t yet completely familiar with the site (or me, in particular).

First, there’s no “fixation” with either Shannon Elizabeth or Black men/rappers. What you are witnessing is, instead, part of a running series (one that has its own category, in fact. Other luminaries I’m “fixated” on are Peter Fonda and Leif Garrett — neither of whom I wish to have intercourse with, either). If you’ll take a look at the greatest hits over to the left sidebar, you’ll note that I have a similar “fixation” with a number of things — from the Ghost of John Merrick to a laconic Kleagle hood to dolphins in pea coats to the ways in which incoherent hermeneutic theory underpins political philosophies in a way that is at once obvious and virtually unnoticeable to those not predisposed to examining the strategies in any rigorous detail. Pay particular attention to my posts on intentionalism, because they are controlling as a subtext in this current discussion.

Second, the links (the orange words actually take you to other sites and posts) give you the back story on Marcotte, the conflicted suffering of the white feminists wrestling with their place in a power hierarchy of their own conjuring, and the idea of “white privilege.” Similarly, they add weight to the particular mapping points of the allegory I wrote. If it helps, using a pen and paper and drawing yourself a chart or diagram could prove useful. Most readers have been able to do the mental mapping sans tactile implements, but hey, there’s a learning curve here — especially if you’ve only been a regular since my absence.

Third, the relative length and width of black penises is nowhere discussed in the Elizabeth post. For whatever reason, you seem to have grafted that little bit of your own psychosexual/social baggage onto what I wrote. Which, if that’s what the post conjures for you, that’s what it conjures for you. But me, I don’t subscribe to that bit of biological observation as a general rule.

Fourth, I don’t think Wayans or Method Man want to “rape” Ms Elizabeth. I think they are interested in getting that funny feel, certainly; but it is Ms Elizabeth who gives them the go ahead — out of guilt over white privilege.

Then, when she begins feeling self-satisfied at her charity, she again feels guilty — this time because it is unseemly to feel superior for having deigned to help the poor oppressed Black man (made all the more ironic in that neither Wayans or Method Man is hurting for money or social cachet, and so are “oppressed” in the same way that is, say, a certain Democratic presidential front runner and his equally oppressed wife. Thankfully, they have plenty of living space in which to study their travails). This guilt is brought about as another manifestation of her having recognized and internalized her odious white privilege — and so acts, thematically speaking, as another snare in the tangled jungle (can I say “jungle,” or is that, too, now racist?) of identity politics.

In fact, the competing impulses being explored in the self-flagellating debate the feminist sites are having over the Marcotte book kerfuffle, are enough to drive at least one earnest feminist to drink a whole shitload of tequila — if only to escape trying to figure out just how “a feminist” is supposed to act.

Naturally, I’d say Ms Elizabeth’s first impulse was correct: just say no! — but then, I’m not burdened by any ridiculous notions of my having been born into a social position that posits me a de facto oppressor, and so I feel no need to remedy the situation of my birth by having a Cristal bottle jammed into my anus.

On the flip side — and drawing on a quote someone posted here from Booker T Washington about the Black grievance industry — I portrayed Wayans and Method Man as savvy and smart: they recognize the power they have as soon as they recognize the conflict Ms Elizabeth is undergoing.

At which point they act precisely like the kind of men certain feminists are always positing: self-interested, power-hungry, rapacious in their desire to sexualize and objectify women.

Had they been white frat boys, therefore, I don’t think we’d be hearing a complaint about how unfairly they are being treated in this little monologue; nor do I suspect activist feminists would be coming out of the woodwork to decry how they’d been “stereotyped,” or how the portrayal of white 20-somethings is “racist.”

I must say, I hate explaining the jokes to people. Because they aren’t simply jokes for jokes’ sake, oftentimes — and explaining them takes away some of their power, such as it is. The post was pointed, and I think fairly spot on in exposing the conflicting impulses by which those over-committed to identity politics are burdened and frustrated.

Not only that, but it had the luxury of working within an established set piece familiar to readers of this site. Which is why they seemed to get it and you, evidently, did not (though honestly? I tend to doubt that. You seem sharp enough to understand what’s going on here, yet partisan enough to pretend toward being flummoxed so that you can attempt to put me on the defensive).

Finally, I have no particular sexual fantasies of my own that are unconsciously on display here. Rather, I’m a slave to a certain kind of imagery that I find both aesthetically appropriate to the piece, and that makes me kinda giggle.

So sue me.

149 Replies to “In which I break character and answer a transparently loaded question about Ms Shannon Elizabeth's parodic/allegorical sexual proclivities”

  1. Dan Collins says:

    Okay, but is the dolphin in the pea coat just a dolphin in a pea coat?

  2. mojo says:

    You been doin’ Jell-O shooters with that damn ‘dillo again, haven’t you?

    I can always tell.

  3. Jonathan says:

    Dammit Dan, I was going to do the dolphin riff. With penises and Martha Stewart. And maybe I just revealed too much.

  4. Sure, finish with Frank Sinatra crooning as Nathan Detroit from the movie Guys and Dolls.

    Nothing to see here, but what does it mean? Then again, as David Byrne once sang:

    Girls are getting into abstract analysis,
    They want to make intuitive leap.
    They are making plans that have far reaching effects.

  5. rhodan says:

    Come on, people, let’s think this through, is there any reason not to
    post about Shannon Elizabeth?

  6. Squid says:

    I’m pretty sure that your counterparts only understand intentionalism isasmuch as it may apply to hate crimes proceedings.

    Also, I can’t read the above without hearing James T. Kirk saying, “Khan, I’m laughing at the “superior intellect.” The tragically funny thing is — they’ll follow you into the nebula every damn time.

  7. JohnAnnArbor says:

    Khan should’ve listened to Joachim.

  8. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    Jeff, if we all put $10 bucks in the kitty, will you get a tattoo on your inner thigh of Amanda Marcotte grabbing for your nuts?

  9. N. O'Brain says:

    “…partisan enough to pretend toward being flummoxed so that you can attempt to put me on the defensive)”

    And people of that ilk are always amazed when they attempted guilt trip doesn’t take.

    “Bu…bu….bu…..YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO APOLOGIZE! AND THE JUST SHUT UP!”

  10. happyfeet says:

    But also when you own a big chunk of the bloody third world, Shannon’s nipples a lot just come with the scenery I think.

  11. happyfeet says:

    Me I thought it was artistic.

  12. Lisa says:

    Wow! My inner attention-whore is ecstatic.

    “To which I am less than thrilled to respond, but to which I shall respond, if only because the time has come to point out certain of the less than charming rhetorical ploys being clumsily attempted by my critics.

    While I totally cop to being an idiot as well as fond of lame rhetorical ploys, I got what you were saying, I just thought your use of that imagery was much more interesting than your take on that boring, circular firing squad going on at Feministe, Shakesville, and Pandagon. Thanks for further ecludiating though. And I loved the post on King Kong.

    I just wanted to explore the psychosexual angle. And insert some Mandingo fantasy snark in there. (Okay so maybe you don’t know this, but there is an entire industry generating millions, maybe even billions on this kind of imagery – not to mention the multitudes of “slave dude humps master’s wife” books. Not that I would ever burn my virgin eyes with such wickedness. I am the soul of piety.)

  13. Enoch_Root - TWP also says:

    happy… nicely done

  14. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    I’ll get on board with feminism as soon as Jennifer Tilly stops putting her tits on parade at the poker table.

    Also, it would help if they seved booze at the meetings.

  15. nishizonoshinji says:

    Yay!!
    Return of the Bullying Attack Penises!
    gawd how i have missed u.
    :)

  16. Rob Crawford says:

    I’ll get on board with feminism as soon as Jennifer Tilly stops putting her tits on parade at the poker table.

    What? Where?

    Anyone else remember a short-lived Fox series named something like “Key West”? First place I saw Tilly….

    *sigh*

  17. Carin- says:

    nishi, there can only be complete celebrating when the GAY PORN COCK OF LIES returns.

  18. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    For safety (and legal) reasons I have a leash on my “Bullying Attack Penis.” Damn thing has gotten huge and it no longer responds to my commands.

  19. Lisa says:

    Sorry, for, my, comma, fetish, today.

  20. Lisa says:

    Lamont stop tying it up outside during bad weather. That makes it mean.

    I recommend the Penis Whisperer. I saw him on Oprah, he is great.

  21. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    Rob, she would go on Celebrity Poker in Rita Hayworth gowns complete with pearl necklace. She won every hand with “two pair.” (I’ve been waiting like a half hour to say that)

  22. Jeff G. says:

    “he”?

    Pass.

    HOMOPHOBE!

  23. alppugreeno says:

    I recommend the Penis Whisperer. I saw him on Oprah

    Dog fashioned? Missionary? Swedish Corkscrew?

  24. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    You’re probably right Lisa. I’ve been yelling at it in German and smacking it around with a rolled up newspaper. Maybe all it needs is love.

  25. Carin- says:

    Has Lisa met Candace yet?

  26. N. O'Brain says:

    “I recommend the Penis Whisperer. I saw him on Oprah, he is great.”

    NTTAWWT

  27. For safety (and legal) reasons I have a leash on my “Bullying Attack Penis.”

    lemme guess, the other end is around your neck and you work for CNN.

  28. N. O'Brain says:

    This thread is making me feel funny in my pants.

  29. I just want to state on the record that Jeff may not want to fuck Shannon Elizabeth, but I do. Especially when I watch her playing poker.

  30. Jeffersonian says:

    As I commented at Feministe (my sole comment that was allowed to remain), the post in question was nothing more than a fictional, sexualized replay of Tom Wolfe’s “Radical Chic,” where guilt-ridden progs (save the laudable Otto Preminger) beg for authenticity from Panther thugs in a Manhattan penthouse. This is hardly a new theme. That Jill and her acolytes fail to recognize it is a true embarrassment.

  31. Karl says:

    BTW, to make sure Jeff see this I’m cross-posting that the Kong post got an Insta-lanche!

  32. Lisa says:

    #25-27: LMAO!!

  33. Jeff G. says:

    Hadn’t read that, Jeffersonian. Must do so.

  34. MayBee says:

    This thread is making me feel funny in my pants.

    Thread? You should try a rope.

  35. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “lemme guess, the other end is around your neck and you work for CNN.”

    Excuse me? I work for CNN INTERNATIONAL honey! One doesn’t get arrested for this sort of thing in Europe.

    disclaimer: No sex toys or methamphetimine were used during this post.

  36. Lisa says:

    Jeffersonian: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Call me a fuckwit of the first water. I totally didn’t make the connection. That is even funnier since Jeff G. proceeded to catch flak from the Mau-Mau-ers. Slain on the butterknife of irony. I die.

  37. Jeff, you haven’t read Tom Wolfe’s Radical Chic? Ohmigoodness. Send me an address and I’ll have Amazon send it to you post haste.

  38. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “TWO pair? wtf? a quadramammarian?”

    LMAO! I wanted to say it so bad I didn’t actually think about it. On the other hand, she’d beat the mutie bar chick in Total Recall.

  39. Pablo says:

    I fucking love this place. Have I mentioned that?

    Lisa, welcome to the dark side. Can I still say dark?

  40. Ric Locke says:

    I cannot fully express how disheartened this whole business makes me.

    Look, dammit, I’m one of “them”. An oppressor. I was young at the time, but I was nevertheless a full participant. I remember doing that shit.

    And to see the myths that we used as part of that — from “they got rhythm” to “white men can’t jump” — reiterated and retreaded as positive goods — sheesh. Why bother?

    Regards,
    Ric

  41. happyfeet says:

    For all you do this Bud’s for you I think.

  42. Pablo says:

    charles austin, you’ll notice Jeff’s Amazon wish list in the left sidebar. You may override his wishes and send him whatever you like. So, you could send him, say, Wolfe and this if you like.

  43. sashal says:

    Boy, am I glad I read the top post and the comments.
    On this soggy depressing rainy slow business day .
    I haven’t had so much fun in the long time(reading blogs, mind you, not what you are thinking).

  44. N. O'Brain says:

    Pablo, I renounce you for saying the “dark” word.

    NI!

  45. Lisa says:

    Laughs, and laughs, and laughs, and laughs @ #46.

    Why. This. Blog. Rules.

  46. Wes S. says:

    Shannon Elizabeth? Who is she and why am I supposed to know her?

  47. Jeff G. says:

    Because you’re a guy?

  48. Jeffersonian says:

    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Call me a fuckwit of the first water. I totally didn’t make the connection. That is even funnier since Jeff G. proceeded to catch flak from the Mau-Mau-ers. Slain on the butterknife of irony. I die.

    Jeff isn’t a flak-catcher in the strict Wolfean sense, given that he has nothing to bestow upon his mau-mauers but silence.

  49. Ok, I’ll take care of it at home tonight regarding Wolfe, but Jeff’s on his own, so to speak, when it comes to the blue glider.

  50. Slartibartfast says:

    I die.

    I breathe in and breathe in and forget to exhale. I explode all over my friends. They forget my name and pretend it is dung. They wash off in the square and the well becomes polluted. All die. O the embarrassment.

    Because of the exploding-all-over-my-friends, I guess.

  51. Pablo says:

    Charles, we’re only talking $12.95 here. Think of the Super Saver shipping!

  52. I’ve got Amazon Prime, so shipping is free. I’m more concerned with what Amazon would offer up in it’s recommended selections if I purchased this, especially since my better half uses the account as well. If Amazon has paired up a Wolfe book with the blue glider when I check it tonight, my level of respect (and fear) for their marketing software will rise dramatically.

  53. Lisa says:

    #55: oO(Free SuperSaver Shipping!!)

    Well this has been fun. I am honored to be counted among the esteemed company of Irritating Fools To Whom You Occaisionally Feel Compelled to Respond, Citizen Goldstein.

    I will see you later. I have business to take care of over at Amazon, er – I, uh, have some stuff to do.

  54. Jeff G. says:

    You seem okay to me, Lisa.

    You’re welcome in my house anytime. Just so long as you don’t make fun of the way I clap.

  55. Jeff, I just wasted 20 minutes unsuccessfully trying to gift you Radical Chic and Mau-Mauing the Flak Catchers. I hate to sound stupid but gifting something on Amazon is neither intuitive nor is its “Help” helpful to me. Either send me an address, add it to your wish list or buy it yourself.

  56. Jeff G. says:

    I sent you an address, Charles, but to make it easier, I’ll add it to my wish list.

    And thanks!

  57. happyfeet says:

    I think Lisa is very nice too. Engaging and genuine I think and really sharp for one of them liberals.

  58. Squid says:

    I’m willing to tolerate an awful lot from the person who brought us “The Penis Whisperer.” That’s some good stuff, right there.

  59. Swen Swenson says:

    Just so long as you don’t make fun of the way I clap.

    I hear nothing can be done about the clapping, but I’m sure that with a little practice we can get you up to speed on the pentatonic scale..

  60. WasatchMan says:

    Jeez, it’s truly sad that you have to explain and break down your jokes to some people, Jeff. I bet Richard Pryor never got called an a**hole.

  61. CGHill says:

    And even if he did, Pablo Picasso didn’t.

  62. Done, delivered Thursday. Enjoy.

  63. Karl says:

    Another Insta-lanche!

    It’s almost as though the Prof. is trying to encourage the lad to blog!

  64. Karl says:

    CGHill,

    Not in New York.

  65. Jeffersonian says:

    Jeff’s gonna love both of those essays. The Bernstein affair was entertaining enough on its own, but with Wolfe’s wry wit it’s just sublime.

  66. Jeff Y. says:

    Jeff G., you are the shiznit.

  67. Salt Lick says:

    I think Lisa is very nice too. Engaging and genuine I think and really sharp for one of them liberals.

    She never answered my query about whether that was her on the Limbaugh show last week, hf, but that Lisa sounded just as you describe. Only negative was when she got aggravated with Rush and yanked the race card out of her sleeve…

  68. M. Simon says:

    Jeff,

    It was me:

    “There is a class of colored people who make a business of keeping the troubles, the wrongs, and the hardships of the Negro race before the public. Having learned that they are able to make a living out of their troubles, they have grown into the settled habit of advertising their wrongs-partly because they want sympathy and partly because it pays. Some of these people do not want the Negro to lose his grievances, because they do not want to lose their jobs.”– Booker T Washington

  69. CochinoMarrano says:

    1 b3 4 5 b7, what is that cranky’d, the last chord in the final credits of MST3K?

  70. CochinoMarrano says:

    Karl, not like you.

  71. Percy Dovetonsils says:

    Protein Wisdom – I come for the egghead discourse, I stay for the Jonathan Richman references.

  72. Tom W. says:

    “Slain on the butterknife of irony. I die.”

    Whenever I read something like that, I always visualize these people:

    http://tinyurl.com/5p78zh

    If someone could record the above quote in Thurston Howell III’s voice and post it here, I’d be overjoyed.

  73. BumperStickerist says:

    fwiw – Amanda Marcotte – lying whore-beast

    A Marcotte commentor, Christine, called shenanigans on Ms. Marcotte’s most recent apology – citing the fact that the issue about the cover’d been raised last year.

    Marcotte’s then-contemporaneous reaction to the hub-bub is here. five gets you one that Marcotte employs the “what? are you stupid – it’s ironic” defense.

    http://pandagon.blogsome.com/2007/08/20/book-cover/#comment-443306

  74. Great Mencken's Ghost says:

    #1 — But what was the intention of the dolphin in the peacoat…?

  75. Chap says:

    Somewhere, Regis is calling Method Man an amateur.

    And buying a gross of Blueberry Gliders for, uh, tax purposes. They come in handy sometimes, apparently.

  76. Lisa says:

    #72: I have never called the Limbaugh show. Even if he did manage to piss me off enough to want to call him, I haven’t reached that level of Teh Crazy yet. He is good at making his point (even if his point is wrong – which is a lot, in my august opinion). I am amazed at how many liberals call his show hopping mad but end the call confused and halfway to voting Republican in the next election. Fools.

    #58: I wouldn’t laugh at your clapping. I have had my Black Card revoked many times for clapping off beat to gospel music. I blame my Northern California upbringing (where people didn’t clap to music, they just held up lighters) – and useless relatives in Utah. Now if you tried to dance

  77. McGehee says:

    I have had my Black Card revoked many times for clapping off beat to gospel music.

    It always starts with off-tempo clapping. Next comes rejecting personal victimhood as a result of having dark skin.

    I know the feeling, Lisa. I don’t wear a kilt and I’ve never eaten haggis.

    I am thrifty, though, so I can probably still salvage some shreds of my ethnic identity.

    I just need to drink more, and learn to like shortbread…

  78. McGehee says:

    And sheep…

    Well, maybe not.

  79. Tommy says:

    Okay, THIS is why you’re my hero. Any further and you’ll just be showing off.
    :-D

  80. Jeff G. says:

    M.Simon —

    Just got home from BJJ class. Linked your comment in the piece, thanks. For the life of me I couldn’t remember what thread it was in originally.

  81. Darleen says:

    Honest to God, JeffG, it’s just mindnumbing you would have to explain something so obvious as the Shannon Elizabeth post

    but on the other hand, this is just brilliant.

  82. blaster says:

    How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

  83. Jeff G. says:

    That’s not funny.

  84. Karl says:

    CochinoMarrano,

    Only by those who have not seen my El Dorado. Or my stare.

  85. Karl says:

    Jus’ a little for Percy, ’cause I dig the Trio, too.

  86. Topsecretk9 says:

    A femistething is all pissed off at Jeff too.

    Boring chicks looking to manufacture little controversies in order to have some topical ” woman is oppressed” thing to blog about. Or just anything to blog about really. And it’s kinda like an opposite kneejerk Greenwald/Mona sitch. Jeff serves as their anti-Greenwald.

  87. Topsecretk9 says:

    BTW Jeff

    Have I told you how nice it is to see you poking in more? I’ve been reading this blog for a long time and as a woman I think you are top drawer and missed, and somehow I’m never offended, funny that. The keepers are top drawer too, but I loves me some Jeff.

  88. Jeff G. says:

    Thanks, Topsecretk9. You have to work pretty hard to be offended, I think — unless you come here only when linked by leftwing sites, in which case I’ll get you all riled up!

    Goes back to the blog grammar thing, I think.

    I’m not familiar with this “A femistething,” but I haven’t gotten any links or trackbacks, so I’m assuming this anger of hers (?) was not meant for me to know about. It’s easier that way: counterarguments just muss up a good case of indignant OUTRAGE.

  89. Lisa, you are too cool.

    You too, Jeff–but you know that, deep down.

    Re: the clapping issue, I keep thinking of Gus Dudgeon, who engineered the “clapping track” for Elton John’s “Bennie and the Jets,” remarking that he hates the habit British audiences have of clapping on the downbeat (or was it the offbeat?). So somehow (because I stereotype 1970s Britain as white, I guess), it struck me as ironic that this was the song that got Sir Elton onto the R&B charts. (IIRC, the video “The Making of Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” has a clip of “Bennie and the Jets” being played live by Elton on Soul Train.)

  90. glasnost says:

    Jeff,

    I’m not a regular commenter or anything, so I doubt I’ll get a response, but I find your ‘joke’ nauseating, nasty, and loaded with thinly-disguised malice and perversity. Whatever point you thought you were originally making, there or here, it’s pretty much entirely drowned out, kind of life how the Reverend Wright is not going to be able to walk back “God Damn America”.

    It’s a nasty, humiliating tale of sexual violation and exploitation, and you seemed to enjoy telling it. Your regulars don’t care, because through the magic of self-selection, they’re the same kind of hateful freaks as yourself. But decent people wouldn’t share a restaurant with you.

    BTW, I don’t much care for identity politics or read feminist blogs. I wandered in here through Memeorandum. But I like people who enjoy rape fantasies as a social activity a lot less than the other folk. So now you have a baseline: You re ally are an a**hole.

  91. RTO Trainer says:

    Glasnost,

    What rape?

  92. B Moe says:

    I don’t think the Cristal bottle gave its consent.

  93. RTO Trainer says:

    Good point B Moe. I’m just not sensitive to the sensitivities of silicon based vesseloids, I guess.

  94. Jeff G. says:

    Actually, it’s not a nasty, humiliating tale of sexual violation and exploitation, because part of what animates it is the improbability of the thing — first, that we’d have Shannon Elizabeth relating the tale; second, that the other players involved would, in fact, be involved.

    It is, thus, an obvious frame — and from there, it is up to readers who are interested to engage with it or not.

    Beyond that, let me just say that you don’t know me, but if you consider yourself “decent people” — and “decent people” are the kinds of people that make these kinds of sweeping judgments about others based on their dislike of a blog post, and are willing to make that dislike public in some grand display of self-righteousness that serves no other purpose than to pimp their own presumed piety at the expense of the nearly 10 million “freaks” that have visited here — then I’d rather dine with the sinners.

    ‘Cause the sinners are much more fun, as a great man once said.

  95. Jeff G. says:

    Or, alternately, try taking the Cristal bottle out of your ass, glasnost. Life is too short for such phony indignation.

  96. Darleen says:

    glasnot

    Would you like some smelling salts?

    It should be noted, since identity politics seem to be ascendent, that as someone who possesses a pair of labia, I was NOT offended by JeffG’s original post.

  97. Darleen says:

    Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company M. Twain

  98. that serves no other purpose than to pimp their own presumed piety

    They have other unintended entertainment purposes. you should hear the dramatic readings I do of these.

  99. Topsecretk9 says:

    Jeff

    via memeorandum there’s a link to Jill at Feministe saying FU Jeff!

    Their stupid site hangs up my browser, I get never-ending spinning rainbow pin wheel anymore or else I’d link.

  100. Jeff G. says:

    Oh, well, I linked Jill’s piece, and responded in an update to the original post.

    I like Jill, so if she wants to blow her stack at me, that’s cool. This isn’t the first Shannon Elizabeth post that’s pissed her off. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s how I found feministe in the first place. Her commenters do get a kick out of taking pot shots at me.

    But I can handle it. You know, being a MAN and all.

  101. Topsecretk9 says:

    Also, when I went to the Feministe site there was something like 107 comments at that point. I was having my pre-yoga snack so refrained from reading the comment section.

  102. Jeff G. says:

    Thank goodness glasnost hasn’t found the Martha Stewart Chronicles, or the red pills posts. Talk about “nauseating, nasty, and loaded with thinly-disguised malice and perversity” — I mean, the things I’ve written about beets, manatee sex, and masturbating sea monkey kings is enough to make Red Foxx blush.

  103. Topsecretk9 says:

    Jeff

    I wondered. I went through the links to this post, but didn’t read the updates. I read the original post this weekend and then went about my day.

  104. cranky-d says:

    1 b3 4 5 b7
    The pentatonic scale. learn it. love it. live it.

  105. Topsecretk9 says:

    Wait, OK. I’m getting all mired in the memeorandum.

    One point that I haven’t seen made, and one I first thought of was Duke

    There are like a thousand and 12 points to made of this in relation to the “vagina warrior”â„¢ blogs hissy fit over retro cartoon imagery and independent bloggers pointing out dichotomies, but those gals shit their bricks over the THOUGHT of white boys hiring strippers, then lost it when they learned the ‘white” boys didn’t want black strippers and then still insisted they engaged in the white man rape when all the charges were thrown out a bus and it was pretty obvious the stripper had a severe alcohol and likey of the prescription drugs that caused her to concoct her tale to multiple hospitals to cop the hillbilly heroin.

    Anyway, I just know that I realized the “femeist movement” was deader than a door nail – or deader than Clinton could have made it when I saw the R-Tard carp coming from them during Duke — (the stupid attempt to make a laundry basket a sexist issue was an honest first actually, but whatever)

    So, imagined “imagery” of the white man raping a Lee Press on Nail Black woman is OK even if the alleged white men are innocent, but imagery of the later is inherently racist?

    Right. That’s stupid and bizarre. Now wonder they are and Army of Maureen Dowds.

  106. mishu says:

    You re ally are an a**hole.

    ANIST!!11!!ONE!!1!!!11

  107. Eric says:

    I thought feminism as a political movement pretty much jumped the shark when the leaders backed Clinton in opposition to everything they reputedly stood for.

  108. Merovign says:

    “glasnost” reminds me of the joke about the guy who visits a psychiatrist because of disturbing thoughts he’s having. He can’t seem to explain them, so the doc starts showing him Rorschach ink blots. When he holds the first one up, the patient jumps out of his seat and rushes out of the office, shouting “you dirty old man! You dirty old man!”

    In other words, somebody has a preoccupation with rape fantasies here, it’s just not Jeff.

    It’s not me either, in case you were wondering.

  109. Major John says:

    Jeff – as I have managed to spend a whole day and a half at a…uh, larger base than where I normally reside…I had the time to read and enjoy this post and the comments. Nicely done! It is a relief to wrap my mind around something other than the Iraqi Army for a bit. Oh, and the commentary has been top notch fun too.

    Oh, and #66 – thanks for that. I had not thought of that song for years! Good stuff that.

  110. Merovign says:

    Oh, and I used to look at memeorandum, but it was too much random and not enough meme.

  111. Topsecretk9 says:

    I thought feminism as a political movement pretty much jumped the shark when the leaders backed Clinton in opposition to everything they reputedly stood for.

    Eric

    but that was before Al Gore invented the internets so the vagina warriors â„¢ kidded themselves into thinking their self needed obsession was still a viable “thought” let alone “movement”

  112. Topsecretk9 says:

    Oh, and I used to look at memeorandum, but it was too much random and not enough meme.

    It is, but It’s pretty useful to see what Balobama Juice is all pissed off about. Great for a lunch time yogurt and a laugh.

  113. thor says:

    Comment by glasnost on 4/28 @ 9:46 pm #

    You really are an a**hole.

    My line! You can’t just sally forth and gush my line, asshole!

    First Candace lifts “fuck all of you!” and now this troll thinks he, too, can start slinging my signature shit. It’s sheer audacity, and these trolls wouldn’t blink an eye before filching my “salad tosser!”

  114. CochinoMarrano says:

    Karl,
    Oh well
    Some be not schmuck, be not obnoxious,
    Be not bellbottom bummer or asshole,
    Remember the story of Pablo Picasso.

  115. Rusty says:

    Top. Feminism is mostly an outrage of convenience for most women. It’s all “get out of my way, you opressing objectifier!” Until the ute gets a flat.

  116. JD says:

    I think it is readily apparent that glasnost only read the feministe and marcotte summaries of this post. Asshole.

  117. capt joe says:

    Glasnost usually hangs out at QandO giving leftist decency lectures to McQ. He stopped since Billy Beck started skinning him alive though.

  118. Dan Collins says:

    I think he’s technically an assgnostic, JD.

  119. Benedick says:

    Personally, as much as I enjoyed the original Shannon Elizabeth post as a searing indictment of the inevitable pitfalls of white-guilt-loathing-self-immolation — on second reading, I’m just enjoying it on a literal level. Hot stuff, that.

  120. Lisa says:

    The whole kerfuffle has illustrated a few things:

    1. On Creating Animal That Eventually Has Your Ass For Dinner: When you contribute to the culture of hypersensitivity, you should not be surprised when you are skewered on the very blade you have been whetting.(Being the good liberal I am, I am all for calling out really fucked up and demeaning language and imagery, but there is a point where it gets fucking crazy.)

    2. On Condescension: It is more annoying for someone to tell me that I am not capable of judging when I have been insulted than someone using illustrations of capering natives chasing after a busty white woman. There are a couple of bullshit conservative talking points that really are true: White liberals sometimes think they know more about what black/brown people should be worried or angry about than black/brown people.

    3. On Interpersonal Relations: This tiff is more about an earlier event where a latina blogger felt dissed because Amanda consistently hat tipped her white friends, but did not hat tip the brown blogger even when discussing items that the brown girl’s blog focused on. She never said “oh my bad” or anything, which made the other white girl’s annoyed that she would behave in a way that would highlight how annoying and self congratulatory they ALL tend to be sometimes. Since she embarassed them like that, it looks like they have thrown her ass under the bus. Not exactly BFF behavior. These women know each other. Some have worked together on political campaigns. I wonder if anyone thought to pick up the phone and say “I didnt like what you did, you should apologize to our friend and make things right”. But I don’t think so. This is more “How could you make us look so bad?” than “How could you insult those poor dark people?”

  121. Percy Dovetonsils says:

    “…they’re the same kind of hateful freaks as yourself.”

    Okay. And your point is?

  122. Shanti says:

    Darleen
    Labia are a ‘pair’. Just means lipS in Latin.

  123. BJTexs TW/BP says:

    Lisa: Well said!

  124. JD says:

    Shanti – Have you come back to enlighten us?

    Lisa – Despite being absolutely wrong-headed in your political views, you are alright with me.

  125. Rob Crawford says:

    There are a couple of bullshit conservative talking points that really are true:

    If they’re true, why are they bullshit?

  126. M. Simon says:

    Jeff,

    Thanks!

    Simon

    If Clinton and Islam have blown feminism, the Obamatons have blown race guilt. The whole idea that “we are on the left and can’t possibly be ojectifiers and racist” is so totally nuts (we knew that from the get go) that it is self destructing on its own contradictions. So can I be an honorary Marxist for multiplying the contradictions in the discourse?

    The current election in the D party is schadenfreude to the 10th power. Men vs women. Old vs young. White vs black. Rich vs Richer. etc. etc. etc. Which combination deserves our inherent sympathy?

    The D party ran out of ideas a long time ago. It is only a matter of time before they run out of votes.

    The Chickens Are Coming Home To the Roosters.

  127. Jeff G. says:

    Try saying that stuff on Marcotte’s site — or even on feministe — and you find yourself in perpetual moderation, Lisa. You’ll be labeled a “Moby,” and your commentary white washed (RACIST CODE WORD ALERT!) from the historical discussion.

    That way, upon review, history will prove my assholishness — and the near perfect consensus of my misogyny. Because look! No one said any differently, and we have the comment thread to prove it!

  128. BJTexs TW/BP says:

    Just to be sure, Jeff, I condemn you again.

    FOR THE AUTHENTIC HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE!!!

    Lisa you are condemned and banished as a gender traitor/apostate. You will be forced to wear the burnt remains of your bras and accept a 25% paycut to bring you back into line with the oppressed womyns you betrayed.

    Of course, I condemn myself for all of the condemning pain I’ve caused.

  129. Veeshir says:

    I see everybody’s ignoring the Gay Cock Of Lies.
    Hmmmm, why is that?

    Homophobes!

  130. Pablo says:

    Clearly, Lisa is a wealthy, godbothering white man.

  131. McGehee says:

    I see everybody’s ignoring the Gay Cock Of Lies.

    Perhaps you mean the GAY PORN COCK OF LIES.

    Pornophobe.

  132. Veeshir says:

    The gay porno cock of lies.

    O-ophobe!

  133. McGehee says:

    Aw, Christ — now you’re gonna get Thor in here…

  134. Veeshir says:

    Because of the Thorocrisy?

  135. McGehee says:

    What is thor?
    Tell me tell me
    If you think you know

  136. glasnost says:

    Beyond that, let me just say that you don’t know me, but if you consider yourself “decent people” — and “decent people” are the kinds of people that make these kinds of sweeping judgments about others based on their dislike of a blog post, and are willing to make that dislike public in some grand display of self-righteousness that serves no other purpose than to pimp their own presumed piety at the expense of the nearly 10 million “freaks” that have visited here — then I’d rather dine with the sinners.

    Dude, you wrote a story about a woman getting a bottle of champagne shoved up her a**, and you really don’t seem to understand how a totally random actor walking in on that would find it sadistic.

    I’m glad you’re comfortable being judged on that, because that’s the nature of what happens to people that put graphic stories about painful sexual humiliation up on a blog.

    You’re ahead of your commenters, though. I haven’t made any assertions about my decency. I’ve simply stated an empirical fact: stories about women getting anally violated by champagne bottles do not reflect well upon people that tell them. I think my reaction – this is a fundamentally sadistic story – is a pretty normal reaction. Clever gotcha comebacks about the self-righteousness of those who lecture people in blog comments don’t really sting me much. I’ll take that comparison any day of the week.

  137. McGehee says:

    So I guess glasnost doesn’t like Larry Flynt either. Or that Virginia Dem politician who wrote porn fiction before getting into politics.

  138. Pablo says:

    Oh, glasnost, Jeff is just off his meds. Respect the afflicted! Have you no shame, man?

  139. Lucky Ducky says:

    Who the hell cares about this nonsensical try at victimhood, anyway? Can anyone even figure out what Goldstein is bellowing about?

    And since when do you have to be a leftist, a liberal, a feminist, etc. to object to something that is juvenile, dumber than dirt and just ridiculous?

    And if you’re going to do the above – for crap’s sake – just DO it. Don’t whine or pontificate about it. And especially, don’t do both.

  140. Challeron says:

    Who the hell cares what Lucky Ducky or Glasnost think?…

  141. Jeff G. says:

    Anybody else smell shortbread?

  142. Pablo says:

    Who the hell cares about this nonsensical try at victimhood, anyway? Can anyone even figure out what Goldstein is bellowing about?

    Victimhood? Huh? He’s explaining a very pointed joke for those either too stupid or too blinkered to have gotten it the first time around. And given that you’re either too stupid or too blinkered to figure that out, I’m guessing that you’re in the group that didn’t get it in the first place. Here’s a hint: It was supposed to be ridiculous. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be ridicule…which it was. Sort of like Lil’ Bush, only funny.

  143. JD says:

    I think my reaction – this is a fundamentally sadistic story – is a pretty normal reaction.

    If by normal, you mean willing to strip the post from all of its context and then lie about its contents, yeah, it’s normal.

  144. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Dude, you wrote a story about a woman getting a bottle of champagne shoved up her a**

    Dude, you are aware that there are people who LIKE having things shoved up their ass, aren’t you?

    Seriously.

    Some of them are even women!

  145. Jeff G. says:

    Sure, spies, et al. But glasnost wouldn’t eat lunch with such freaks and deviants.

    HOMOPHOBE!

  146. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – Ok. Just when did this become “My big fat Shannon Elizebeth blog”?

    – Getting back to the topic of “primaries gone wild”, the Dem train wreck shows no signs of abaitting. Hill-Rod, in spite of yesterdays weak showing in Indianna, and decisive loss in NC, says shes going all the way to the convention. Just to make sure people take her seriously, shes now personally supplementing her campaign war chest by millions each month.

    – The two largest questions:

    1). What the hell to do about Mich. and Florida, because they will vote in the general, whether they get seated or not, and i wouldn;t want to be Obama if they don’t get seated. Besides, theres no way the Dems can win if they lose ANY of their voting blocks, which is why neither Dem can claim a clear victory over the other.

    – What to do about the consistant National polls that show Hill-Bot a clear winner in percentages versus Obama when either are pitted against McDinosaur. The percentages are close but she always polls better when that question is asked.

    – Summary:

    – If Hill wins, OB followers jump ship or don’t vote. She can’t get the Black vote. Dems lose.

    – If Obama wins Hill followers jump ship or don’t vote. He can’t get the White vote from certain blocks.Dems lose.

    – The Dems still haven’t figured out that the country just isn’t ready for a far left President. I hear a number of talking heads trying to make both candidates case pionting at Willys success. Bill-bubba won by moving, and staying, very centrist. Obana is determined to stay full bore far Left winger. Hillery is trying to move to the center, and losing Lefties by the truck loads.

    – Do the Democrats, such as the gaggle exists, understand they’re a minority to begin with and therefore can only win if they attract moderates and some percentage of Conservative voters? Do they understand a loss of any single voter block, and its impossible just from a shere numbers standpoint? Are they so ideolog they just don’t give a fuck?

    – The odds are great that before the Dems figure their way out of this circus they’ve created, the ‘dillo will dance.

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