I take Lipitor, sure. But that doesn’t mean I’m just going to throw away the grapefruit spoons — particularly when, in a pinch, I’m almost certain I could use the things to remove a boil or drain an abscess or some such.
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Don’t buy the hype! That’s orange conglomerate propaganda, nothing more.
Yes, that’s fine, but what do you do with the grapefruit knife?
Not to mention the fact that a perfectly thrust grapefruit spoon could permanently cripple certain MMA types who have been riding my ass and saying crap about a friend of mine…
I’ve said too much…
A grapefruit spoon is very similar to an arrow spoon…Might come in handy given the slings and…
Sorry.
I threw away my grapefruit spoons and my grapefruit consumption went way way down but it could just be in Texas you could buy these really kind of large bags of Ruby Reds but here at Ralph’s you just has the kind that sit out in the bins what all the people paw over and also porn stars.
There are grapefruit knives?
Shit. You mean I need to spend even more money?
Damn you, Pfizer. Damn you straight to hell.
I never thought it fair that grapefruits got their own utensil. Smacks of elitism.
u don’t need lipitor…you’re buff.
:(
That’s right, Carin, it’s not like there’s a SPAM spoon.
If there were, though, I’d cling to it like glue.
See? See? Big Pharma’s got its stainless steel fingers in every pie.
EVERY PIE! EVEN THE CITIZEN JOURNALISTS’ PIES AREN’T SAFE FROM THEM!!!
I’ll send you my knife. It’s old but it’s lethal.
I probably don’t need Lipitor, but since the current thinking is to keep your cholesterol as low as possible, they keep me on it.
I’m in the 130-160 range, depending on diet in a given week.
BECAUSE OF THE THUMBNAIL SIZED ASBCESSES!!
… and there is no special spoon for pie …
Hey, my mil brought over a kumquat cream pie. If EVER a foodstuff deserved it’s own utensil, it’s that. I’m telling you.
My doctor told me my cholesterol was excellent. Even gave me a thumbs up at my last checkup. The only thing he’s worried about is the heroin habit…
I think I could lower my cholesterol even more if I stopped eating sticks of butter in a nice ranch dipping sauce.
I don’t know what my cholesterol is, but I only do smack on the weekends. So, I’m good.
If your cholestrol level is between 130-160, you’re just not eating enough SPAM.
What’s the point of working out as much as you do if you can’t enjoy the yummy goodness that is rectangular meatstuff.
Well, if it’s any consolation, Cowboy, I eat the jelly from the Gefilte fish right out of the jar.
I fail to see the upside. That sounds so nasty that it must be good for you, but if that’s living, I don’t mind dying.
That, sir, is what separates the men from the boys.
…sure, you’ll eat that stuff, but what about that substance it’s packed in?
The substance it’s packed in IS the jelly.
And I eat that like I might a young Brooke Shields what’s covered her nethers in bacon grease.
Why use a spoon when you can just use some woman’s face as a juicer, Cagney-style? Y’know, because of the hypermasculinity.
See, now you’re talking! I’m starting to think it must be a Joooo thing but the goyim foetze mit der pork drippings has me confuzzled.
You’re my hero…
…for the fish jelly, the bacon grease, and the Blue Lagoon flashback.
If you find yourself thrown out of the Conspiracy and you don’t know why, your confessing to any interaction with store-bought gefilte fish — other than selling it to people who’ve lost bets — is probably the reason.
(Licking bacon grease off Brooke Shields is a self-absolving sin. And I’m pretty sure “Actually, I was thinking of Pretty Baby” is a self-absolving comeback to Cowboy’s comment. The red light on the Conspiracyphone isn’t flashing while I type it. Mel Brooks still has a lot of pull.)
I’m reading Marshal Frady’s biography of Billy Graham and it says when Billy was young he could bite into a grapefruit and suck it dry through the hole. Not that I’m trying to convert you. I don’t think that’s common even among gentiles.
Is that what them spoons with the crinkly edge were?
I thought they were busted, so I ground ’em down. Razor edge on every one.
Sorry. Maybe you can still use ’em in Krap Manga or whatever, huh? Start flinging those suckers.
The drawback of hanging on to such highly specialized things is that eventually your home may begin to look like mine–drawers full of the little things you “might need someday.”
full of the little things you “might need someday.â€Â
JUST LIKE MY PANTS!
No. I’m confused. Cause it doesn’t make any sense to take Lipitor and then be licking bacon grease off of Brooke Shields. It just doesn’t. You don’t want to go down that road. And also today Gefilte fish in a jar is expensive and can run over $6. I can teach you how to make your own Gefilte Fish with little to no fat or cholesterol for a lot less money. Well he can teach you, the guy what the spam filter hates. Also the salmon mousse I might could try but it looks like you can’t help but have leftover clam juice.
http://www.fortunecity*.com/greenfield/bp/890/gourmet.html
I have a ball gag in my kitchen junk drawer.
Sadly, it’s never been used… needed, but never used … *sigh*
Fresh Brooke nethers are best with only a dash of vinegar.
Publix is having a sale on Brooke nethers, but I’m not sure how fresh they are.
They appear to be imported.
“My doctor told me my cholesterol was excellent. Even gave me a thumbs up at my last checkup.”
Ummm, where’d he put it?
Well, al, I wasn’t going to get into all that….
Brooke Trout nethers smell like fish.
“I never thought it fair that grapefruits got their own utensil.”
I had no idea they did. I just use a regular spoon and knife. Or, just to be different, I peel it and eat it like an orange.
There is no such thing as leftover clam juice. Mmmmmmm… self-salted seafood…
“Drain an abcess” would be a good name for a rock band.
If there were still rock bands.
I once knew a gal named Trout Nethers.
Screw everybody. I ate a salad with a spork last night.
That ain’t some shit you recover from very easily.
I’m surprised y’all didn’t pick up on the obvious off-label use for grapefruit spoons: eye-gouger-outer.
There are times you might want to use it on others, times you would use it on yourself.
“There are times you might want to use it on others, times you would use it on yourself.”
Too late.
I saw a picture of Helen Thomas.
I keep waiting for Mona to show up to tell me how atrocious I am.
“I saw a picture of Helen Thomas.”
Why, that’s just the type of occasion I was thinking of, so it’s not too late at all!
Taking Lipitor, hmm, thought you were smarter than that. There are basically two sources of cholesterol, what you intake via your diet and what your body produces itself. You need cholesterol to function properly. Drugs like Lipitor affect your bodies ability to produce what it thinks it needs while doing nothing about what you intake through diet. Far smarter to control your diet and let your body take care of itself.
… and there is no special spoon for pie …/i>
Sure there is. They have ‘D’ handles and are sold at Ace hardware in the garden section.
Damn you, html!
My Kingdom for a closed tag!
Well, al, I wasn’t going to get into all that….
Savvy.
I do what my doctor tells me. I also take a lot of fish oil (pure liquid kind from Norway) and eat a lot of fish, so my “good cholesterol” is pretty high.
I figure my doctor knows more about these things than I do. But maybe not.
You can never have too many specialized utensils. Taco cooker; pointy, serrated spoons; one of those wire cheese slicers; they’re all going to come in handy some day.
That’s not really the issue. The real issue is whether your doctor knows more than a passing blog commenter. Maybe Thomas can fax you his med school diploma.
You know what they call the guy who graduates last in his class from med school? Thomas.
Seriously. You can look it up.
AS God is my witness, I did not know SPAM was made with pork.
An epiphany: “SPecial + hAM = SPAM” …. or something like that.
in the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
SPiced hAM, Cowboy.
I just inherited a few interesting tools, among them a
Blunt hook, crochet, and a vectis etc. Nasty pointed hooky things. Should work for spam.
I’m thinking that might be laudenum in that one bottle.
I have become an enemy to my site, evidently. Incoming links tell me so.
Time to go drink a beer and sit on my stoop. Take in the wind. Talk to the trees.
If the armadillo has to dance, so be it. I no longer care.
It was just a weird day again. I mean go look at Drudge and tell me this just isn’t a good Internet day, cause it’s not. But Mr. Reynolds I don’t wanna look at a nuanced view of biofuels you got any pictures of flowers? You’ll eat it and you’ll like it. Hey what’s on tv?
What do incoming links know?
Incoming links speak truth to power, RTO.
I’ve been SERVED!
Jeff:
I lack hf’s clever.
But please don’t go all “the dillo shall not dance” on us, OK? Share your stoop and your beer. The armadillo awaits your order, and only yours.
Lipitor? Jeff, you wuss. A real man would be on Zocor.
As to Mr. Smarty-pants (also known as comment #48), keep in mind the whole “when diet and exercise are not enough…” part of the ad.
As for the diet and exercise thingy, there are some for which that attempt has led to years of futile battling and ever more surly opponent: 279 LDL.
When good cholesterol goes bad…
I was on Zocor under a different health plan. Now it’s Lipitor.
As for diet and exercise, well, I’m pretty good on those fronts. In addition to p90x + and kettlebell training, I’m also taking Krav classes, BJJ classes, MMA class, and private lessons in catch wrestling and boxing. I hang pretty well with the wannabe pro fighters.
My cholesterol was never terribly high — I think I was at 200 — but we figured we may as well get it lowered. It was after that that I started get back into shape. So I’ve been at around 130-150 since then. But my doctor thinks I may as well stay on the stuff.
As God is my witness, I thought armadillos could fly.
I’m home now. I’ll drink a beer with you Jeff, even if I don’t really know what’s going on.
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