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Fifty-eighth in a series of real-time empirical observations

In the time it takes you to read this post, Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama will spend at least a minute complaining to a throng of reporters about not being able to finish his waffle — in the process, wasting at least a minute he could have spent ignoring those same reporters and quietly finishing his fucking waffle.

The irony of which is, of course, racist. And — from Glenn Greenwalds'(‘s) perspective — likely homophobic, hypermasculist, and sinsterly corporatist, to boot.

I blame Bush.

32 Replies to “Fifty-eighth in a series of real-time empirical observations”

  1. Techie says:

    Patriarchal! I want patriarchal!

  2. Sean M. says:

    LEAVE BARACK’S WAFFLE ALONE!

  3. McGehee says:

    Betcha he didn’t pour this on it.

  4. LionDude says:

    He can no sooner disavow his ability to eat a waffle in peace than he can disavow his intake of all batter-based breakfast grill cakes. His grandmother prefers Special K. Typical honkey.

  5. Education Guy says:

    I like waffles, even if they do occasionally try to yell epitaphs at passing rainbow warriors.

  6. Matt, Esq. says:

    The waffle was a rovian ploy to show Obama’s weakness. Even out of government, Rove’s power to control world events is unprecedented. He truly is a magnificent bastard.

    ooo mcghee that was bad. Funny but bad. RACIST ! !

  7. Ric Locke says:

    Bah. I’m getting tired of the redundancy.

    Let us adopt the Tulipolitan Reform: all those terms are to be replaced by “–ist” (or “–ing –ist”, as appropriate.) I hereby denounce the –ing –ist –ism, in its entirety and without reservation.

    Regards,
    Ric

  8. Jeff G. says:

    It’s not that his grammy didn’t like waffles, LionDude. It’s just that she had a problem with the mixing of the white waffle with the brown syrup.

    Sometimes at iHop when somebody ordered a short stack, she’d have to change tables. It was almost unconscious, this reaction.

  9. Karl says:

    TULIPOLITAN!!!

    (See how I lawyered my way around the rule?)

  10. Jeff G. says:

    Even worse, McGehee, would be this.

  11. Education Guy says:

    I could no more abandon this waffle than I could abandon breakfast as a meal.

  12. wishbone says:

    Hard economic times make people cling to their high carb breakfast foods.

    How can anyone take this guy seriously? I’m running for President so please respect my privacy in a public place. The childishness of it all makes my teeth hurt.

  13. Slartibartfast says:

    Won’t anyone think of the baby waffles?

  14. JD says:

    I prefer Karo corn syrup. Or stawberries and fresh whipped cream. But, I am a racist, so you have to take that into account.

  15. Education Guy says:

    Baby waffles don’t vote. Sure they talk a good game, about changing the world and finally getting a little power for the little man. But when it comes time to stand and be counted, they are most often home doing bong hits and playing COD4. Kids.

  16. Mikey NTH says:

    I think its because of that Mrs. Butterworth. She’s seducing him away with her rich, buttery smoothness. The little tart.

  17. happyfeet says:

    The dipping tray thingers look pitifully inadequate really on the baby waffles thing. I would just get one of those things of whipped strawberry cream cheese and also honey almond cream cheese from Noah’s. I wish they made chocolate cream cheese. I always ask anyway.

  18. scooter (not libby) says:

    And she’s sorta racially ambiguous, sorta like him, although she was seen at a Trinity Church Prayer Breakfast.

  19. scooter (not libby) says:

    (I was referring to Mrs. Butterworth, in case that wasn’t clear)

  20. bergerbilder says:

    I heard he left a pretty good tip, though.

    “If I’m elected, SELL!”

  21. happyfeet says:

    My Dad did the Karo’s syrup on pancakes thing. Mostly I think it’s just for making pecan pie. And that other pie that’s a lot like pecan pie but without the pecans. Chess. Chess pie. It’s been awhile since I’ve even seen chess pie. California. They don’t really want to work with me on a lot of this.

  22. N. O'Brain says:

    Ok, has anyone else ever had waffles and chicken gravy, or is that just a PA Dutch thing?

  23. N. O'Brain says:

    Karo on bread and butter is great.

  24. scooter (not libby) says:

    Chicken and waffles, as it turns out, has quite a following in the south, although I’ve never tried it. It’s not ubiquitous, but I’ve seen it on a few menus so take that for whatever it’s worth.

  25. Nuke 'm Hill says:

    iHop. Is that a new Apple product?

  26. Techie says:

    Chicken and Waffles is indeed around in the South. A good place to try it would be in the Sweet Auburn district of Atlanta.

  27. Merovign says:

    Yeah, because the “please leave poor me alone” strategy worked out SOOOOO well for Wee Willy Clinton. BECAUSE OF THE… PUBLICRISY?

    And, I like waffles as hamburger buns.

  28. happyfeet says:

    Oh. We have Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles here. I went once but I just had chicken and waffles regular like. I didn’t know about any gravy thing. It was packed though.

  29. N. O'Brain says:

    “#
    Comment by Nuke ‘m Hill on 4/22 @ 11:50 am #

    iHop. Is that a new Apple product?”

    Nope.

    They’re working on the I-Ball.

  30. McGehee says:

    Even worse, McGehee, would be this.

    Michelle would KILL him.

  31. MC says:

    Erm, McGehee, so are we suggesting a new metaphor for “pouring syrup on his waffle”?

  32.  
     
     
     
     
    Ow.

Comments are closed.