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Anybody from around these parts familiar with British Columbia?

I’m particularly interested in Courtney (or is it Courtenay?), Comox Valley BC, round about 115 5th Street. Guy who teaches some kind of martial art there wants to smack me around a little. I think he might be part of the Cobra Kai.

— Which would mean I need to find me a little Okinawan man who wants his fence painted and his cars waxed, and is willing to pay in trade. Thank goodness for Craigslist, eh?

112 Replies to “Anybody from around these parts familiar with British Columbia?”

  1. Hoodlumman says:

    Sweep the leg, Johnny.

  2. Karl says:

    This wouldn’t be the self-proclaimed KING of the A-holes, would it?

    As an aside, I found that tagline to be a bit of a red flag for as debate opponent. Though similar taglines would be helpful for PW trolls here. For example, IJS, who tried posting here again this morning.

  3. Karl says:

    “as” = “an”

  4. Karl says:

    Actually, “as” = “a.” No soda yet for me.

  5. Education Guy says:

    Can this job be outsourced to Hillary Swank?

  6. Jeff G. says:

    Not the king of the A-holes, no. This is “STEROIDS ARE AWESOME” guy.

    Bullshido.com: For integrity in the martial arts. Unless you disagree with what we have to say. In which case, “I’ll snap you like a twig, Krav Boy!”

  7. Jeff G. says:

    Sweep the leg, Johnny.

    First learn walk. Then learn swim.

  8. Dan Collins says:

    I think you can take Courtney Cox, Jeff.

  9. Jeff G. says:

    I can take Arquette. Cox I’m not so sure about.

  10. mojo says:

    You could always pull the old “Give the guy lots of shit until he challenges you, then have Goldberg show up in your place and TOTALLY KICK HIS ASS!” trick…

  11. Karl says:

    This is “STEROIDS ARE AWESOME” guy.

    With rage issues? Shocka!

  12. alppuccino says:

    Taking Cox is the last thing you want to get into. Leave that to the guys who get convicted.

  13. David McKinnis says:

    Bring a bunny of Caerbannog
    (Nasty, big, pointy teeth!)

  14. undefined says:

    Hi Jeff,

    It is Courtenay, right next to Comox, BC on the east side of Vancouver Island. An extremely isolated community…

  15. undefined says:

    Funny, I thought the folks on Vancouver Island were too high on M.J. to ever get angry or do steroids.

  16. Jeff G. says:

    Thanks. You’d think these guys would be able to spell their own, well, whatever it is — town, province, municipality? — correctly.

    Any good brew up that way? And no, I don’t mean LaBatt’s or Molson Special.

  17. Ardsgaine says:

    It is Courtenay, right next to Comox, BC on the east side of Vancouver Island. An extremely isolated community…

    Isolated, eh? Heh.

  18. Dan Collins says:

    I’d be careful, Jeff. The guy’s a SEAL.

  19. Jeff G. says:

    Seal owns the place, or operates it, or is the contact. Not the same guy. Guy’s name is Geordie McCredie. Or, to his friends, GEORDIE MCCREDIE, SNAPPER OF TWIG PEOPLES!

  20. JD says:

    Because we all know, when you use ALL CAPS it makes your points beyond debate, and it makes you one badass mo-fo.

  21. undefined says:

    No need to touch the Molson – BC has world class microbrew. Including the award-winning Vancouver Island Brewery (http://www.vanislandbrewery.com/).

  22. dicentra says:

    I was in Vancouver and on the island last summer. There are tons of Asian immigrants in Vancouver, so I’d suspect there is a critical mass of self-defense experts there.

    BECAUSE OF THE STEREOTYPE!

  23. Spiny Norman says:

    “Or, to his friends, GEORDIE MCCREDIE, SNAPPER OF TWIG PEOPLES!”

    Why am I picturing Eric Cartman in a World of Warcraft persona?

  24. TODD says:

    Don’t forget to use the Crane technique Jeff, hey it worked for Ralph Macchio, didn’t it?

  25. OregonGuy says:

    I recommend you contact Toddish McWong. http://tinyurl.com/6jsana. You getcher KungFu and Haggis at the same time. Assimilation. It’s all about assimilation. And, you’d stand out north of Vancouver. Don’t mess with Scots.

  26. Jeff G. says:

    Honestly, Spiny? I picture all the “martial artists” who hang out for extended periods on those kinds of forums as pudgy thirty-somethings who’ve gone to a couple weekend Ninja camps.

    And who own at least one 3 AAA battery-operated light saber.

  27. Jeff G. says:

    URL aint’ working for me, OregonGuy.

    “You can take our throwing stars, but you can never take…OUR FREEDOM!”

    Sean Connery? I fucked him.

  28. Jeff G. says:

    I’ll just go with this one. Think the exotic foods mentioned might be, say, a handful of anabolic steroids?

    And shit, man. The guys carry swords? Quick, somebody open a door. The 21st century is outside, and it’s dying to come in for a microbrew and some haggis.

    Funny thing is, the guy who wants to snap me like a twig is a catch wrestler what’s only recently heard of Burnaby catch wrestling. He comes from the shooto branch — which differs from the midwest style.

    Plus, you know — kilts.

    No way I want to get a sack across the lips should this guy try to walk his way around a top wrist lock.

    ****
    update: PIC!

    Ooh. The things I could do with that lovely, lovely hair.

  29. Spiny Norman says:

    Kilts?

    Oh, dear… it’s not this guy, is it?!?

  30. Big Dan says:

    I have nothing to add.

    Does that mean I shouldn’t post?

  31. Dan Collins says:

    Jeff, if you go to fight him, we’ll pitch in to buy you one of these.

  32. Pea Coat wearing Dolphin says:

    ~ sigh ~

    Jeff doesn’t call anymore.

    He doesn’t write.

    It’s “martial arts this”, “catch wrestling that” …

    ~ sigh ~

    I guess I’ll book passage to the Island of Forgotten Schtick.

    wait. I’m a dolphin. I can just fuckin’ swim there.

    So long, Jeff.

    Thanks for all the fish.

    .

  33. Red Pill Behind the Sofa says:

    I’m right there with ya, Dolphin.

    ‘cept I’m behind the sofa and all.

    Where I’ll stay.

    I guess.

  34. 80s Movies says:

    Yeah.

  35. Shannon Elizabeth's Nipples says:

    Sorry to see you go, guys.

    We’re here for the duration.

  36. SarahW says:

    Don’t dolphins care for oisterds? They are awsome.
    .

  37. Jeff G. says:

    Incidentally, I did a red pills post yesterday. Try to keep up, people.

    Geordie McCredie (aka Georgi LaForge, aka Cracky McSlugHoot):

    I trained under Jodey Ingalls (www.sherdog.com/fightfinder/fightfinder.asp?FighterID=8096; http://www.pureselfdefence.com) from ’01-’03

    I trained under Baz Cunningham (http://www.sherdog.com/fightfinder/fightfinder.asp?search=yes&FighterID=8092) from ’01-’04 and resumed training with Baz in ’07

    I currently train under Lance Cunningham (’98, ’99, ’00 gold medalist Sport Jujitsu at the Tiger Balm Internationals, ’06, ’07 gold medalist in Pankration at the Western Canadians) at the Reality MMA Club/Comox Valley Boxing Club where I instruct grappling.

    My competition record is horrendous (0-3 in sub grappling ’01-’03), but I’m hoping to change that this year ’08, when I (hopefully, assuming no injuries) make my professional MMA debut. I definitely need to work on my striking, as it still sucks balls. I’m in the process of making a set of MMA instructional videos with Baz.

    I get my some of my technique, if I trace my lineage back far enough, from Karl Gotch, but I’ve been influenced as much by BJJ as I have from Catch Wrestling.

    I’m basically never on any IM service except AIM, anyone who wants to get ahold of me is free and welcome to add me as a buddy.

    I am one of the three Co-Founders of Bullshido.net

    From 0-3 as an amateur straight to the pros!

    And you thought twig snappers these days didn’t have to pay their dues…

  38. Slartibartfast says:

    Hmmm…he’s going to improve his record by going pro. That’s optimism, that is.

  39. Slartibartfast says:

    But he’s one of the co-founders of Bullshido, so he’s got to be a twig-snapper extraordinaire.

  40. Jeff G. says:

    Krav is for those who eat balls, says our friend Geordie. Who has no strike game. I’ve tried to tell him that Krav standup is western boxing and Muay thai, with kicks from Muay thai and combat Sambo, but hey, who listens to me? After all, I have no interest in fighting in an octagon just now. For sport I like baseball. Fair fights are fine, if you’re into that kind of thing. But me, I’m more into ripping and the like.

    At my BJJ class, which I take in the same regional training center where I train Krav, my grappling instructor was busting on one of his buddies, one of the Krav instructors — something about putting him in an arm bar.

    To which my Krav instructor said — “maybe, but I bet you’ll have a hard time getting it while I’m biting on your nuts.”

  41. SarahW says:

    I remember having to give my sister the car keys after a fight like that. OW.

  42. SarahW says:

    And I should clarify I meant the “Ripping and the Like.”

  43. SarahW says:

    Girl fights in the Farrah Fawcett era, memories

  44. Karl says:

    I would think someone planning on failing upward would pick politics over martial arts.

  45. Jeff G. says:

    Well, in his defense, it’s been 5 years since he lost.

    Maybe the time off convinced him it was all just a bad dream. BECAUSE OF THE INTEGRITY IN THE MARTIAL ARTS!

  46. Pablo says:

    Not the king of the A-holes, no. This is “STEROIDS ARE AWESOME” guy.

    Well, so much for a swift kick in the nuts. Back to the drawing board…

  47. Karl says:

    Well, in his defense, it’s been 5 years since he lost.

    How long has it been since he won?

  48. Pablo says:

    Dude is friends with “The Fear”? Well, fuck that. Erm, I mean AAAAAhhhhhahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!

  49. Jeff G. says:

    Yeah, I’m thinking I’d just divert his attention by telling him some motorist flipped him the bird. Then, while he was off chasing the car down, I’d probably just declare myself the victor, after which I’d go take in a McKenzie Brothers in the Park festival.

  50. Jeff G. says:

    He hasn’t had time to win, Karl. He’s got Bullshido to run, and students to teach.

    Although, who joins up for “How to go 0-3, then turn pro” class, I can’t imagine.

    Kids these days…

  51. Pablo says:

    From 0-3 as an amateur straight to the pros!

    And what are the instructional videos called? How To get Your Ass Beat?

  52. Karl says:

    See, I kinda pictured you leaping from tree to tree, as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia…

  53. Jeff G. says:

    Please avoid “The Fear’s” bio. I beg you.

    For what it’s worth, Pablo, the guy he’s doing the instructionals with was 4-0 as a pro. Maybe our friend Geordie is the uke.

  54. Pablo says:

    I was gonna click on that, Jeff. But, you know, the fear…

  55. Karl says:

    I miss happyfeet today. I imagine him commenting on how being friends with “The Fear” is probably why he hasn’t won. Fearless would be better.

  56. Jeff G. says:

    Were happyfeet here, I’d snap him like a twig.

    BECAUSE OF THE MARTIAL ARTS INTEGRITYNESS!

    By the way, it occurs to me that “How to go 0-3, then turn pro” class sounds like something Matthew Lesker might teach. Maybe Geordie wears lots of question marks on his wrestling tights — like the riddler, only with working knowledge of the kimura.

    I imagine The Fear only wears animal pelts.

  57. McGehee says:

    I imagine The Fear only wears animal pelts.

    Nah. It’s hell getting piss stains out of leather.

    …or so I hear.

  58. slackjawedyokel says:

    56 comments about some guy in British Columbia, and not a single reference to “The Lumberjack Song”???

  59. Carl says:

    slack,

    #53.

  60. Jeff G. says:

    I can’t do everything for you guys…

  61. Karl says:

    Okay, time to take the sock off.

  62. Jeff G. says:

    You were wearing socks? Feh. Would THE FEAR wear socks? No. Unless they were made out of glass shards and ebola microbes.

    Pussy.

  63. Karl says:

    In the uniter thread, Jim asked about Carl Spackler.

  64. Jeff G. says:

    Yeah, I know. Play along with my playing along, would you please? Else people will start to see the brush strokes.

  65. Karl says:

    Sorry. When doing the singing, is it with the hot wife, or the ‘dillo?

  66. Jeff G. says:

    Depends which one’s in heat.

    See? Another moment of unabashed pragmatism.

    SNAP!

  67. slackjawedyokel says:

    slack,

    #53.

    Damn. Missed it.

  68. Karl says:

    I figured I should dish one for the alley-oop.

  69. Jeff G. says:

    Thanks for humoring a guy who, back in the day, could dunk like a motherfucker!

  70. Karl says:

    Also: The “SNAP.” Was that, y’know, “urban,” or was I being twigged? My intentionalism compass has been a bit off lately.

  71. Dan Collins says:

    I think I may have found the ideal wrestling identity for Jeff.

  72. Jeff G. says:

    If I dressed like that, opponents would always be going for the “rub him vigorously until he explodes, then wait for him to fall asleep” hold.

    Pass. I’m in this for the COMPETITION, baby! Not some prom night glad handing.

  73. McGehee says:

    So, I shouldn’t send you my brother’s old souvenir Minnesota Vikings helmet?

  74. mojo says:

    “I’ll kill a man in a fair fight. Or if it looks like he’s gonna start a fair fight. Or if I’m gettin’ paid…

    Mostly if I’m gettin paid.”
    — Jayne Cobb

  75. Jeff G. says:

    I just came across this and this, and I’m a bit pissed off just now.

    I know some of you know the real name of PunkAss Mark, who I believe was dating Amanda Marcotte. Email me his name, please.

    We can forget about this lumberjack fuck for now. I have new business to attend to. And of a more serious nature.

  76. Jeff G. says:

    Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?

  77. Pablo says:

    I know some of you know the real name of PunkAss Mark, who I believe was dating Amanda Marcotte.

    Hasn’t he suffered enough already?

    OK, maybe not. But still, my ass hurts just thinking about it.

  78. mojo says:

    “…who I believe was dating Amanda Marcotte.”

    Jeeze, my gonads just crawled back up into my pubis, whimpering in fear…

  79. Jeff G. says:

    I emailed him and asked him to remove the post. His response:

    Done. I can only hope you will show similar kindness to others, but I
    won’t hold my breath.

    Now if you’ll excuse me for a bit, I have to go and remove all the posts where I accused people of pedophilia, defended the likes of Fr**ch, and mocked their children.

    Ok, back! Miss me?

  80. Ardsgaine says:

    I’m getting a “File not Found” on the second link. Has the post been taken down?

  81. Karl says:

    The second PAM link already 404s. Like magic, it is.

  82. Ardsgaine says:

    What did it say?

  83. Karl says:

    The fantastically libelous first link is still up, though. If that stays up for long, ol’ Mark may have to hear from counsel.

  84. Karl says:

    Ardsgaine

    #80 kinda covers it.

  85. Slartibartfast says:

    Um, IIRC I think Jeff removed or redacted a comment that listed Thirsty’s home address and/or phone number.

  86. Jeff G. says:

    Our latest exchange. First, me, in response to the initial email:

    If and when I disparage their children, I certainly will. Thanks for
    removing the offending post.

    His response:

    I was actually disparaging you, and I reject the notion that needling
    you about your kid’s name, which is your fault, is worse than any of
    the millions of things you’ve lobbed at others. Typical Goldstein —
    self-absorbed, hypocritical, inconsistent.

    Ethical distinctions from a guy whose business website contains a testimonial from Amanda Marcotte. Still, kudos to him for removing the posts. I was sure to thank him via email.

  87. JohnAnnArbor says:

    Geez. Not a surprise that Marcotte would find a fellow hater like that.

  88. Pablo says:

    Is this Zen, or what?

    And is this a nightmarescape of previously unimaginable proportions?

    How do I go about living a wild and carefree life in these, my exciting and certainly numbered single days?

    You only die once too, Slappy. Try not to do it with a strap-on up your ass.

  89. Jeff G. says:

    It’s not his fault, John. He hadn’t heard of Satchel Paige. He thought I was naming a kid after a tote bag. Which is kinda funny, because I sometimes tell people that.

    Of course, it’s mostly women. But still.

  90. Karl says:

    Jeff,

    He deleted only the comment at the first link, not the libelous stuff in the main post.

  91. SarahW says:

    It’s worse cause it drags a kid into it, with personal remarks about something that’s important to the kid. It’s not that hard. But perhaps a set of Monkey Bars could improve his 3D intuition of falling short of the bar of decency.

  92. Pablo says:

    Um, IIRC I think Jeff removed or redacted a comment that listed Thirsty’s home address and/or phone number.

    IIRC, it wasn’t even that detailed, it was his real name and the school he works at, though that fucker Jeff didn’t have the decency to remove it while he was sleeping.

  93. Slartibartfast says:

    Jeff didn’t post his address, someone else did.

  94. Jeff G. says:

    Oops. That was my mistake, Karl. I sent him the link to a comment rather than to the post. So he took down the only comment defending me. I’ve emailed him again, apologized, and asked him to take down the post itself.

  95. Jeff G. says:

    Meantime, I’m having some fun with Flikr.

  96. Jeff G. says:

    Latest response:

    Hmm. This is in response to the [Dr Demented] dustup, and I don’t see
    anything in there off skimming it that seems to warrant removal. it
    mentions that you *have* a kid, but I don’t see anything negative
    directed at your kid at first glance. We can’t just pretend the
    [Dr Demented] stuff didn’t happen; is that what you’re seeking?

    You’re the lawyer, Karl. What’s libelous in there. I can’t bring myself to go back over it. The whole business get me sick to my stomach.

  97. Karl says:

    Jeff,

    Obvs I don’t want to repeat it, but the suggestion that you are a repressed pedophile might tend to reflect badly on your rep, imho.

  98. Karl says:

    I’m out the door, will be back in 30 min approx.

  99. Jeff G. says:

    His response:

    I am all for protecting the innocent, but I don’t see how anything
    like that could be taken seriously. Thinks strikes me as crossing
    from sensitive to oversensitive. I think I’ve already demonstrated a
    willingness to play fairly, but this request seems strained. Nothing
    R Mildred said will ever come back on your kid. Or you, honestly.

    Me, I’m all for protecting the innocent, too. So I’m going to give him some time to reconsider. After that, I’m going to get upset.

  100. Jeff G. says:

    Final email response from Marc:

    Okay, fair enough. i appreciate it framed as a request. I’ll yank it.

    Kudos. It was the right thing to do.

  101. Jeff G. says:

    Now, back to fuckin’ with the Scottish Mauler of Vancouver BC…

  102. B Moe says:

    It’s not his fault, John. He hadn’t heard of Satchel Paige.

    He bangs Marcotte and has never heard of Satchel Paige? Does he even have a dick?

  103. Ouroboros says:

    I couldnt fight a Canadian.. The first time he said ” You’re aboot to get an ass-kickin'”….. I’d just crack up laughing..

    You have to take a guy you’re going to fight at least a little serious.

  104. B Moe says:

    …is this a nightmarescape of previously unimaginable proportions?

    How do I go about living a wild and carefree life in these, my exciting and certainly numbered single days?

    punkass marcotte?

  105. Karl says:

    Kudos, though perhaps it occurred to him that libel likely violates his host’s TOS and could get his entire blog yanked.

  106. Great Mencken's Ghost says:

    “Taking Cox is the last thing you want to get into.”

    I thought that was a move in moxed martial arts. I see it in like every episode of UFC…

  107. OregonGuy says:

    Normally, TinyURL works…and I normally check. Compulsion. Here’s the complete URL:

    http://transmontanus.blogspot.com/2007/01/multiculturalism-year-of-pig-with.html

    Terry Glavin. Always an instructive read. He is a Red. But, in Canader, Red isn’t a bad thing. It’s just a thing.

  108. MC says:

    Whatever it takes for you to re-engage bro’ Jeff.

    Just don’t start taking it up with those wise guys in New York – you know the ones that the Guidos’es works for.

  109. Slartibartfast says:

    Fighting Canadians ought to be easy: just show them the bacon bra, and while they’re trying to deconflict priorities, kick ’em in the nuts.

  110. mojo says:

    He thought I was naming a kid after a tote bag.

    Don’t laugh. How d’ya think Paige got his name?

  111. Jeff G. says:

    I know how Paige got his name. That’s why I’m able to make the joke myself.

    But then, I’m also aware that there was a hall of famer and one of the most successful self-made men of his era who went by that name, and has come to be, in many circles, forever linked with carryalls.

    It’s all quite meta, you see.

Comments are closed.