Marcotte: “KEEP YOUR STRAWBERRY JAM OFF MY UTERUS!”*
****
update: “…And while we’re on the subject, STOP OBJECTIFYING MY NOOKS AND CRANNIES!”*
Search
Archive Calendar
| M | T | W | T | F | S | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | ||||
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 |
| 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | |
Archives
Categories
- A Government That Can Force You to Buy Health Insurance Can Make You Do Anything (3)
- a protein wisdom philosophy primer (3)
- academics (25)
- armadillo (8)
- Friday Fiction 100 Word Challenge (51)
- from the protein wisdom conceptual series (136)
- identity politics (33)
- If Republicans Win the Senate in 2014 (1)
- in which celebraties comment on current events (67)
- language / intentionalism (88)
- legal (6)
- My brief conversations with inanimate objects (130)
- NSA / FISA (46)
- One Term to Serve, the 2012 Revival (6)
- Overheard in a Fallujah bunker (27)
- Poems from 196x, Revised by the Ghost of Richard Brauti (27)
- protein wisdom's DNC coverage (30)
- protein wisdom's RNC coverage (29)
- protein wisdom: the movie Lists (20)
- Provocateurism (16)
- real-time empirical observations (51)
- red pills found behind the sofa cushions (42)
- Scenes from my driveway (61)
- Talking back to 80s music (41)
- The Martha Stewart Chronicles (58)
- The protein wisdom interviews (10)
- The protein wisdom original poems (142)
- Uncategorized (20,046)
- Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance, abridged (34)
Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
Will she get her own room in his new house?
Insert various “lols” at claims in this sentence.
Hey, Mr. Goldstein, at least you are the talk of all the TOP liberal blogs…
Seriously though, there is no justice; none at all.
She’s just doing this to help Hillary win, isn’t she?
“BUTTER KNIVES ARE JUST EXTENSIONS OF THE PENIS! STOP RAPING ME WITH YOUR SMART BALANCE SPREAD!”
I heard a rumor that John Kerry is blogging for Biden‘s campaign…. (Cough, cough.)
Let the games begin!
I came for the hilarity, and stayed for the pie.
Does toasting enhance ones race creds?
“You know those hot dog buns in the pantry? CLOSETED HOMOSEXUALS!”
Pablo,
I came here because of the promise of hilarity and pie!! I could have not scripted this any better. I truly will enjoy watching Edwards experience the “Lamont Syndrome”. Now to microwave some popcorn….
Memo to Amanda: That option is available to everyone who stays in school, doesn’t get prematurely pregnant, doesn’t choose to pickle their brain with one substance or another, and makes an effort to attain it. Unless, of course, you’re near between the middle to lower end of the middle class, a man, married with children and then divorced. In that case, you’re fucked and broke. But I digress.
I think she means to say that she wants to create an America where everyone gets a middle class lifestyle handed to them, regardless of what they’ve done to earn it.
Calling them “buns” is a sexist conceit! They are BREAD! The stuff of LIFE!
“I think she means to say that she wants to create an America where everyone gets a middle class lifestyle handed to them, regardless of what they’ve done to earn it. :
Can you say entitlements? Socialism at best….
“EVER NOTICE THAT BAGELS ARE ONLY SUBSTANTIVE IN THE SPACE SURROUNDING THE HOLE?
“CHEW ON THAT, YOU MISOGYNISTIC PRICKS!”
“NOT EVERYONE DREAMS OF BEING A BAGUETTE!”
I had a blueberry scone this morning. It fell apart in my large masculine hands as I brought it to my lips.
Man. Just went over to Pandagon for the first time in quite a while, and the place is simply STOCKED with my biggest fans—from Ilyka Damon (who turned left so violently and abruptly that it’s a wonder her neck didn’t snap) to Chris Clarke (who, conversely, has been turning left so long that he thinks in nothing but circles).
I’m still getting attention over there, only now they like to use asterisks in place of certain letters in my name. That way, you see, my name doesn’t show up in a search, which, when combined with their unwillingness to link back here, leaves them free to carry out their “analyses” without the messy business of having me show up and possibly ruin the party.
Still, I’m the one who runs the circle jerk, let me remind you. And who fears dissent and wishes it silenced.
At least, that’s the word on the street in at least one of the two Americas…
“THE TOASTER STRUDEL, WITH ITS INVIOLATE WARM CHERRY FILLING, IS A SYMBOL OF THE SPIRITUAL OPRESSION OF PASTRY BY THE MALE DOMINATED FROSTING CULTURE!”
TW: making69. THE SISTERHOOD!
I don’t think it’s so much that there’s two Americas as that America has Multiple Personality Disorder.
And…ONLY two?
DON’T CALL ME AN ENGLISH MUFFIN. WE PREFER MUFFYN YOU CHAUVINIST PIG!
Don’t get me started on breadsticks….
THAT’S VAGINA-IN. EMPOWER YOURSELF!
Question: when Edwards starts babbling on about his faith, will Marcotte call him an evangelical Christist bent on the soldering shut of women’s wombs?
I may be remembering incorrectly, but I believe Marcotte has written quite a few things that look at the faithful with more than a healthy heaping of disdain….
No, I’m pretty sure she knows it’s bullshit just like everyone else does.
Solder of Christ?
Presumably female masturbation is a circle jerk of a kind. I think I’d better leave now, it’s late over here.
The only think I can think of that could achieve this level of simultaneous disaster and comedy would be…let’s see…maybe: if all of the trained and highly skilled performers in Cirque de Soleil were replaced by the fat, bearded, unwashed bunch of guys you’d always see playing Dungeons and Dragons in your dorm basement at 3am.
Apologies to any frequent readers who actually were one of those guys, but in that event: imagine yourself on stage.
I mean, if you found a lamp, polished it, and genie popped out and granted you three wishes…would you even have thought of this?
Probably not. Probably, like me, you’d have asked for some cool toys. Still, it’s a gift.
man, you are so obssessed with what’s between amanda’s legs. this is really unhealthy for you, jeff, and probably runs up your Astroglide bills.
it’s a good thing your wife probably doesn’t read this dreck, or you’d be in hot water.
Or maybe Amanda could get him to channel some unborn again, see how they feel about abortion. That would be some absolute moral authority right there, now, wouldn’t it?
As Bugs would say: “Oh, brudder!”
Solder? I arc-weld those suckers.
punk ass marc:
Seems like you have quiet a bit of experience with that astroglide…but my guess in the wrong hole
marc, shouldn’t you be off talking about Jeff’s cock?
Project much, tool?
Chris Clarke?
Chris Clarke the Feministe commenter?
The guy who barely has two brain cells to rub together?
Oh… dear… Clarke AND Marcotte…
Okay, look. This is clearly the profitable business. Mr. Goldstein, I’m afraid I must now get into the business of hating you. Apparently, it is the only credential needed for infantile losers to make the big bucks, and, dangit, I want some of that credit!
Not nearly so much as she is.
Actually, “punkass marc,” I think it’s Marcotte herself who is obsessed with what’s between her legs. Or maybe you were too busy being “punkass” to figure out that that’s what I’m getting at here.
Not a complaint, mind you—I can only imagine the kind of concentration it takes to remain reliably “punkass” all the time—just, you know, a friendly observation.
And here’s another one: why would you be worried about my wife reading this stuff? Do you think all women are humorless scolds like the ones you surround yourself with in your effort to keep your “punkass” street cred with the gender warriors? Because it seems to me you’ve kinda reduced women to a convenient stereotype.
Pigeonholer.
Oh, and really, Astroglide? Be insulting if you want, but at least be honest. Anybody who’d touch himself to mental images of Marcotte deserves to go blind.
MR. GOLDSTEIN RAPED MY… UH… PATRIARCHY?
Damn, I suck at this!
SOMETHING ABOUT MY UTERUS AND RAPE AND POWER DYNAMICS AND HOW DUMB MR. GOLDSTEIN IS AND STUFF!
Think Hillary has noticed me yet?
And now, I really must go work out. Back later.
Meantime, if “punkass marc” or any more of his buddies shows up, go ahead and play with them all you’d like. Just remember to take them out to the garbage when you’re done with the carcasses.
EVIL CHRISTIANIST WARMONGER… ER… OF RAPE PATRIARCHY STOOGE CHIMP RACIST OIL… er… gah… RICH PEOPLE…
Dammit. I’m just not cut out to be Amanda Marcotte… or even Chris Clarke.
…
…
…
I’m… not… cut out to be them…
Oh dear Lord…
I’m going to cry myself to sleep now…
I can’t wait to find out what the bunnies symbolize.
Marc didn’t seem punkass. Dumbass, certainly, but the punk-y aspect just didn’t communicate.
Jeff: The first comment on this fine piece of writing by Ms. Marcotte came from none other than PIATOR!
“Stop torture now.”
“Get me outta Amanda’s womb.”
…Oh, oh.
“fighting poverty”
I noticed that, nikkolai.
And “punkass marc”—the fattish, near-balding systems analyist? He’s another of Marcotte’s online knights who rides to her rescue every time she’s mentioned over here.
Just saw that post of Mr Faletti’s you linked for the first time, Pablo. Pretty sad that he thinks I take my poetry on this site seriously—or that a guy calling himself “punkass” can’t do any better with the insults than to parrot back the same tired tropes about my being a “failed academic,” a racist, and a serial cockslapper that others before him have dreamed up and repeated obsessively.
Seems his only contribution to the cult of me was that he was able to put it all into convenient table form.
And how edgy is that! Or should I say, righteously punkass!
I DON”T THINK THE CEREAL CONSENTED TO BE TOUCHED BY YOUR DIRTY, DIRTY COCK! RAPIST!
Especially single pregnant womyn.
Marc – I think the only thing that sits between what’s-her-face’s legs is pain and trouble.
Some of us people would call that an oxen yoke.
TW: soviet72. Poifect…
Uh oh. There’s trouble brewing in paradise!
Who wants to go ask Amanda what she thinks of Edwards’ plans to needlessly slaughter millions of brown people?
Let’s get on with the show!
I get it, if we pull out of Iraq, Iran will be so busy raping and pillaging they won’t have time to develop nukes! That’s so crazy, it just might work!
Edwards ain’t winnin’ anyway, but it should be fun to see the hinges come off the campaign in public. Amanda, you’ve sold your soul to the devil.
Synchronize your Google caches, men!
There are certain things that Ric Locke wouldn’t touch with a lawyer’s cock (sorry, my barrister friends), and Amanda’s certainly one of them.
Must be jelly, cause jam don’t shake like that.
Upon consideration, I think the Prince of Moon Pies is Biden’s blogger. The campaign is virtually over the very day it started.
The famous Amanda Marcotte is a certified cosmotologist? Who the fuck knew?
There’s no way Edwards would have a staffer who can’t touch him up a bit at a moment’s notice.
Jeff –
Even on your worst days, you are a genius. As much as I enjoy your “guest posters (and I do, for the most part), it is a different universe when you are posting.
Please stop shitting on yourself in public. That is the advice I get all the time. You really are unique.
Rememeber this. Just because John Denver was so drunk that he ran out of gas in his airplane and killed himself doesn’t mean that “Some days are diamonds, some days are coal” has any less meaning.
And this guy punkass marc?
I think he needs a good cockslap in the face.
I look at the people who attack you, and realize what a genius you really are. And I mean it. You are like a really good musician – something rarely encountered.
Thanks again for PW, and I hope you got the money for a cup of coffee that I put in the tip jar.
TLD
TW: I hope that was led49 and not IED49
Like Stephen Hawking? Damn, you’d never know she was that smart from her writing.
Calling them “buns†is a sexist conceit! They are BREAD! The stuff of LIFE!
That’s staff of life.
“THE TOASTER STRUDEL, WITH ITS INVIOLATE WARM CHERRY FILLING, IS A SYMBOL OF THE SPIRITUAL OPRESSION OF PASTRY BY THE MALE DOMINATED FROSTING CULTURE!â€Â
Yeah, well you can call it a toaster strudel, honey, but I say it’s just a pop tart.
The conservative inside me is thinking about proposing a ‘Walk Back’ blogging services contract to the Edwards campaign.
–
I’m skeptical now of Edward’s campaign strategy abilities – he’s putting Amanda Marcotte front and center for Hillary! and Obama! to take shots at
…. either Amanda’s being used as a human shield to take the first couple of blog-salvos from other contenders before being dumped over the railing, in which case I gain a bit more respect for the man.
Or he actually respects her ability to be picked as Jesse and Ezra’s affirmative action hire … in which case I respect Edwards less.
–
Either way, she does nothing to increase the chances of Edward’s actually winning – so that’s a good thing.
.
Well, no one ever squirted a tube full of hot pearly liquid over “just a Pop tart” doll.
Christ I gotta get back to work.
/sweating
So, off-topic, slightly, but Edwards mimics the words from the President’s mouth about Iran and Pablo and B Moe are against it? Does it possibly worry you two that the consensus on Iran among serious people seems to be we should stop them? You would you would feel better about what politicians on the left and Presidents on the right can agree upon.
Then again, that presupposes you care about anything other than hating the left. Seriously, B Moe and Pablo, you guys should officially inaugarate the Global War against Lefty Liberal types and stop using terrorists as a pretext to attack lefty libs.
Be honest. It’s good for you.
Hawking: “First there was Amanda, then it exploded”?
Wait, this is a bad thing?
lern 2 reed, nub.
AND POUR SOMETHING NON-DAIRY OVER THOSE CHEERIOS, COW-MOLESTER!
In case anyone is interested in seeing her.
http://flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=198400616&size=m
So, TimmyB, does that mean we can mark you down as in favor of ensuring that Iran does not get nukes?
So who’s the emo in the beige shirt standing next to Amanda?
Sheeez… Maybe she is going with Edwards to try and pick up some hair and make-up tips.
I am getting confused.
On the one hand the left maintains that its more radical elements are an extreme minority that have no political clout.
On the other hand we have Ms. Amanda’s *talents* being recruited by John Edwards.
The reconciliation should be interesting.
Whatever gave you that idea?
Are those the same serious people who keep playing the “Warmongering Chimpy McHitlerburton’s attempt to distract from his Vietman” canard?
Guess who said this and when they said it, Timmah!
Did you guess Amanada Marcotte? Did you guess 20 days ago?
Heh. So, are you gonna vote for a Democrat who “mimics the words from the President’s mouth”? If not, maybe you should go let Amanda know.
What is it with the left and “consensus”? Are you that weak of character that everything you do must be unanimous? Have you ever heard of leadership?
And please tell us, Oh Mighty Tim, what is the “consensus” over there on how to “stop” Iran?
-srongly-worded resolutions?
-nasty looks?
-maybe threatening hands-on-hips!?
Man, I think I actually felt my mind bend reading your post, TB.
Come on now, TB (talk about unfortunate initials – you and Vern Davis should get together) – Pahbleaux and Bemoan merely point out the inconsistency between Mr. Edwards’ position re. Iraq, and those of his “bloginatrix.” Even you’re not too daft to get THAT.
Ah, shouldn’t make assumptions. Ne’er ye mind.
Shoulda said Iran above, which invalidates my entire comment. Naturally.
Good thing Pablo already made that point.
It’s some guy named Darcy.
More:
http://flickr.com/search/?q=amanda%20marcotte&w=all
I’m not making fun of her appearance or anything. I’m just saying . . . yea, I’m just saying; that’s all.
TimmyB
Are you a cracker?
Of course, Edwards could be pulling a Kerry and simply telling people what they want to hear. He was talking to the Joooos, after all.
Interesting. Pandagon is one of the blogs that, against all evidence, is maintaining the probable guilt of the Duke Lacrosse players. Just a few days ago, Marcotte herself wrote:
Now she is moving just a few miles away from Duke. Given how that case is hot topic in the blogosphere and is surely big news in the Research Triangle area, I think this will turn out to hurt Edwards. It stands be a permanent strike against the credibility of his online outreach efforts, and could be a recurring topic among bloggers who examine those efforts. This could force the Edwards blog into a position of defending itself rather than promoting its candidate.
At the least, this hire shows a lack of good judgment in the Edwards camp about whom it chooses to align with, and at the most shows they are sympathetic with and willing to actively court radical feminists who more concerned with punishing men than with equality and justice.
Just a stupid move all around.
T-web, you’re not alone in that. from the comments at the Edwards blog:
And then the knives came out…
Stacy,
Why is it that when I see photos of these people, they all have that “Look mom,I just drank drano!” look about them?
Vacuous words are better than vacuous minds?
In fairness to Amanda, that’s a pretty lousy picture. She’s not a knockout, but she’s not a complete woofer either.
I’m personally looking forward to the now-constant opportunities to compare and contrast Edwards’ rhetoric with Amanda’s past statements, along the lines of “As a Christian, I feel strongly that we have to help the poor” vs. “why are the fuckstain Godbags allowed to talk in public”.
Pablo – there are a couple posters there who have expressed reservations about Marcotte. Naturally, they are dismissed as “trolls,” even though they have all been quite civil (and accurate, imo) in their posts.
On the plus side, at least the posts have been allowed to remain, in contrast to Amandagon’s usual dissent-stifling tactics.
Years of bitterness and the victimhood mentality will do that to a person. (Please God, just 2 minutes alone with Amanda in a dark alley, please.) She is the skid mark on the thongs of women everywhere. Hypocrite thine name is Amanda Marcotte.
There are two Americas: Those with $400K ‘Basketball gyms’ in their homes and those without.
If you look in the dictionary under: “Lefty Chick” there is a picture of Amanda.
Is that really fair?
It’s possible that blogging can be done “professionally” in a way that makes Marcotte’s previously published views no more relevant than those of Tony Snow prior to joining the Administration. I think the two are a good match. Sort of like Sarandon and Robbins.
Wow. She even looks like a cliche´.
happyfeet, do you think that if Tony Snow had the sort of vile, unhinged commentary that Marcotte is famous for in his portfolio that he would have gotten the job? Or if he did, that the leftosphere wouldn’t be endlessly quoting it?
This was s stupid move on Edwards’ part. In all honesty, he would have been better off with Oliver Willis. Amanda is like a water balloon only filled with bile. Poke it, and things are sure to get messy.
But house-blogger and press secretary are two different creatures entirely, happyfeet. You have a press secretary to answer questions, stamp out controversies, etc. Everyone knows that a press secretary is a shill for a candidate.
A blogger, on the other hand, exists to express his (or her!) ideas. Marcotte’s previous writings (and the following she has from those writings) are almost certainly the reason she was hired. The Edwards campaign made a conscious decision to align itself with Marcotte and her way of thinking. For that reason, I think Marcotte’s writings are a strike against Edwards’ online efforts.
Omg! I just want to puke when I read about the “getting out of poverty and into the middle class” thing. My Dad didn’t have enough money when he was growing up to afford shoes in the summer and that is no lie. He was in the upper middle class in income by the time he was 40. Did John Edwards every go without shoes? The man is a freakin TRIAL lawyer for heaven’s sake. They make snakes with morals than those guys. I also wonder how much money John Edwards has given over the course of the many years he has been a millionare and BEFORE he was running for office. Has anyone ever looked into that?
I always find that those rich liberals who care so much for the poor, never seem to care enough to give their own damn money. They just want to take it from us in taxes and claim THEY are the compassionate ones by wanting to raise taxes.
One would also think that losing a child might find him a bit more compassionate to the sanctity of life, but no…one can’t be a Democrat and feel for the unborn. And so it goes…
Doesn’t matter though. Hillary will squash him like a bug.
Jebus Crustees, happyfeet, Tony Snow never sounded like Amanda. Bejus!
Anything is possible though. Then it exploded.
We’ll see I guess, but I kind of think that this is one of those things… as in, previous writings of house-bloggers are only deleterious to the campaigns of Republicans. I don’t see how this can possibly negatively affect a Democratic candidate.
Whereas O-dub is like a water balloon filled with nougat, summer sausage and half-chewed Ho-Hos.
A cute, fuzzy little bug.
I can understand that, happyfeet, at least in the MSM. But I think in the smaller world of the blogosphere, Marcotte’s previous writings will be a recurring issue and that they will be used to discredit her work for Edwards. It will also, I think, put her or her supporters on the defensive (in the blog’s comments section, at least), again knocking the blog “off message.” Go over there now and you can see it happening already.
kyle,
Because I’m a nice guy, I’m not going to suggest that you should have said “waterbed mattress”. But I was thinking it.
Pablo – I think we can at least agree on the nougat.
Where is big O, anyway? I kinda miss his tantrums – the unintentional comedy factor was off the chain, as the kids say.
kyle,
Big O started posting a vlog called “The Truth.” I think he found the format too restrictive, but I didn’t think there was any lying in the first episode.
from commenter “Bora” at Marcotte’s new digs:
In other words, to marginalize and virulently dismiss any thought outside the Pandagon orthodoxy. I find it funny that people like Bora are unable to identify Marcotte (and, likely, themselves) as extremists in their own right.
Looks like they’re all reading from the same playbook anyway.
There’s a torrid romance in here just waiting to hit the internet. And melt my eyeballs.
I’m white and have a penis, so if I say that I don’t think women and minorities should get breaks just on their races and/or genitalia, does that make me a racist mysognist?
TW: Need69 – So not going there…
I’m just kind of glad to see her getting on with things – she’ll be making more money than she’s ever made in her life. She’s now a professional in “political communications.” And it’s nice that she’s entering her 30’s with a bit of actual direction. And she’s from Austin, so there’s that, too. There’s something about how Austin liberals live the liberalism, as opposed to say, Los Angeles liberals, that takes the edge off whatever disagreements I have with them.
The idea that she carries too much baggage seems to proscribe that bloggers either zealously guard their anonymity in their youth, or disingenuously self-censor out all the stupid and overwrought things all young people are going to put out there from time to time.
But really, how funny is this to see the slimiest of sleaziest ambulance-chasing, helmet-haired Medical Malpractice lawyers becoming the Great Hope of the earnest doe-eyed cliched lefty chick.