A bill that could make it illegal to glance at a naked neighbor is moving forward in the City Council. . . .
Council Member Peter Vallone Jr. said he introduced the bill to fight back against perverts, such as people who stand at the bottom of a flight of stairs and look up women’s skirts. . . . “The drafting of the language of this bill has to be done very carefully and we’re actively looking into ways to best limit its scope so it will still capture the perverts we want it to capture without endangering anyone looking out their own window.”
Does it say anything about staring?
Related: Loveable television pervert dies
Satirist Jon Swift in the news
BREAKING: Ringo Dead
The case for bad data: Drop in AIDS Cases Due to Bad Data
It was only a matter of time till they turned a bad Linda Ronstadt cover into a military weapon.
Wouldn’t it be so much easier for the “What are you looking at?” police if we could somehow put laser pointers in people’s eyes?
I’m all for this, so long as I get the asbestos sweater concession.
Shit, there goes my sex life.
What exactly is the legal definition of a “leer”, as opposed to, say, an “ogle”? Does one involve a wink?
Will I be able to glance at a naked person from a town three counties away?
Not that I have anyone in mind…
That’s why man invented digital photography.
This is in direct conflict with the Seinfield rule regarding scoping cleavage:
“It’s like the sun.. You don’t stare, you just glance quickly then look away.”
So much for time honored American traditions…
SEXIST !!!!!!!!! And racist. And homophobe. And asshole. And all of those other things we get outraged, outraged I tell you, over.
Looking up chicks skirts is the only time Dan gets a chance to see the panties or the vi-jay-jay.
I would like to know exactly where the dividing line is between a quick glance, a healthy look, and a stare/leer. Does that change if the clothing is designed in such a manner so as to draw your eyes towards a particular part of the anatomy?
Amazing the things people know about Dan who haven’t broken bread with him.
Because really, the only way to truly know someone is to share a party box of White Castle sliders in a car with windows that do not roll down.
What was that story about the baker that wanted to sue people cause they got to enjoy the smell of his bread baking for free?
Wonder what they’d do with two kids I saw at the Dallas airport. A lady, perhaps 35 years old, was standing, waiting for someone to get on or off a plane. She was quite thin, but had enormous, ah, “plot devices” as the earlier Star Trek thread put it, I believe. And they were at attention. A nearby ten-year-old was telling another “come see, come see!” Upon seeing, the second one exclaimed, “They’re a foot long!”
Off to re-education camp with both of them…..
Also your link, it is awry.
happyfeet – If your school was suffering without a head football coach like John, you would have problems with links as well. I thought guys stood at attention. I thought women had their headlights on.
Thanks, hf.
A law banning naked neighbors would be far more humanitarian and aesthetically salutary. At least in my neighborhood, anyway.
I thought women had their headlights on.
It wasn’t so much that as their shelf-like perpendicularity to her body.
Oh, no – was Dan’s link way up there for Taranto.
Oh. Sorry – I am slow cause NG keeps wandering in aimlessly. I would feel bad for her if I were a nicer person.
Also your link, it is awry.
Is happyfeet wearing the Manolos?
Perpendicularity – solid word.
I am going to cry foul on the banning naked neighbors thing. Some of the womenfolk around here are pretty easy on the eyes. If they wish to parade around their homes in the nude, who would want to discourage that?
happyfeet – I thought you were referring to the link that Johnwithoutaheadcoach omitted to the lady with the perpindicularity.
So if a lady buys a pair of huge jugs, would that be entrapment?
Depends on whether they’re full of beer.
Even worse, alpuccino, what if you buy the bolt-on’s for her?
Bolt-ons are fun. I bought a bolt-on exhaust system for my RX-7; added about 20 HP right there.
“Even worse, alpuccino, what if you buy the bolt-on’s for her?”
That’s easy, motorboat, brumsky, windshield wipers, volleyball, juggling, telephone, periscope, etc.
Ironically, it probably made your Mazda sound like it was giving a motorboat to a pair of bolt-ons.
Doesn’t the exhaust burn you when you put your head between them, start shaking your head and saying BLUBBLUBBLUBBLUBBLUB ?
Have you ever heard a Mazda and a Kawasaki getting a little friskey? It sounds like a couple of cats fucking.
What if she snaps the waistband of her shorts, in the process giving you a prime view of her panties?
Man, I miss that woman.
When discussing such plot devices, I find it helps to compare to the quintessential. How do they compare to the chrome bullets on the front bumper of a ’57 Caddie? Perfect perpendicularity and at least a foot long. Nothing suggestive about those black rubber tips either. Nothing. Really.
What about cleavage? Good cleavage exercises such an intense gazeattractional force that if you don’t fight it constantly, you’re liable to hurl headlong into it and find yourself stranded millions of light years away. If one spends the evening in the company of a woman with good cleavage, the effort required to maintain focus on the face is equivalent to a 7-mile run.
I am sure that is where the terms “headlights” and “high beams” came from, Swen.
I do not run. That is why I generally wind up just staring all night, and accepting the yelling from the better half as well deserved.
“Every time I have the urge to jog, I sit down until it goes away.”
— Woody Allen (I think)
Woody Allen – Strange man. Great saying.
That councilman, do you suppose his nickname is Pro?
No, I guess that would be cheesy.
Slart also has an RX-7. Cool.
Now, back to the boobies.
I’ve found that if a lady doesn’t appreciate a quick glance, raised eyebrow and smile, she probably wouldn’t be able to tolerate me.
Obviously that’s a far way from making grasping motions, running like Groucho Marx after her and yelling “hey hey hey HEY!”
If that helps draw the line between polite appreciation of the female form and crass harassment.
Had. The ex-wife got it in the divorce, many long years ago.
And semi-promptly blew the engine, which…well, I don’t want to be ugly, but I didn’t feel too sorry for her.
Rotary engines are cool, for metrics.
“I would like to know exactly where the dividing line is between a quick glance, a healthy look, and a stare/leer. ”
Sunglasses. Learn them. Use them. Love them.
Council Member Peter Vallone Jr. said he introduced the bill to fight back against perverts, such as people who stand at the bottom of a flight of stairs and look up women’s skirts. . . .
The list of problems that City Council has already solved to allow THIS ONE to bubble to the top must be staggering.