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Shaftner [Dan Collins]

The original Capt. Kirk is disheartened he won’t get to boldly go anywhere with his old pal Spock in the new “Star Trek” movie. While Leonard Nimoy is reprising his role as the pointy-eared Vulcan in next year’s science-fiction flick, William Shatner is not on board as Kirk.

“I [ . . . ]couldn’t believe it. I’m [ . . . ] not in[. . . ] the movie at all. Leonard, [ . . . ] God bless his heart, is [ . . .]in, but not [ . . . ] me,” Shatner, 76, told The Associated Press on Thursday. “I thought, [. . . ] what [ . . . ] a decision to make, since [ . . . ]it obviously is a [ . . . ] decision [ . . . ] not to make [ . . . ] use [ . . . ] of the [ . . . ] popularity I [ . . . ] have to ensure [. . . ] the movie [. . . ] has good box [ . . . ] office. It [ . . . ] didn’t seem to [ . . . ] be a wise business [ . . . ] decision.”

Phew. That’s better.

And unto dust.

18 Replies to “Shaftner [Dan Collins]”

  1. The Ouroboros says:

    Well, what did he expect after he went all pussy and turned down Virgin Galactic’s free $200K first civilian space trip..? He soiled the image of the Federation..

  2. happyfeet says:

    See what it is really is that anyone who has a gun that has a setting for “stun” is sort of inherently pussified already.

  3. Dan Collins says:

    Set phasers for vibrate.

  4. mgroves says:

    My apathy is palpable.

  5. cranky-d says:

    If he’s reprising his role, I guess we’re looking at a “flashback” kind of thing. Yeeha.

    I’ll see it. I saw all the other ones.

  6. Dan Collins says:

    My apathy is palpable.

    Okay. I ain’t palpating it, though.

  7. happyfeet says:

    Someone entertain me. Instapundit is blogging like an old woman today. “JOHN FUND looks at Mike Huckabee” is not gonna cut it, and don’t even get me started on Cap’n Ed.

  8. Big Bang (pumping you up.) says:

    – When you have a job that gives you perks like 9 of 11 in your lap, your phaser is always set on stun….

    – The movie they’re doing probably centers on Spock-puppet, and they didn’t want to give Shatner his usual minimums for a cameo.

  9. Nathan says:

    Nemoy is a way better actor anyway, and it makes more sense to have Spock in a new movie since Vulcans are supposed to be long-lived.

    re #8: I think having 7-of-9 in your lap and having 9/11 in your lap pretty much runs the pleasure-pain gamut.

  10. JD says:

    Denny Crane

  11. Themistocles says:

    Nathan my girlfriend doesn’t like 7-of-9 at all–she’s constantly asking me for the whole thing.

    But back to the genius of Shatner…

  12. Dan Collins says:

    I remember Timothy Leary showing that video in Madison when I was completely bent on shrooms. I had to leave. Too. Fucking. Intense.

  13. JD says:

    Dan – Do not even get me started on the magical mushrooms. Suffice it to say that it involved a hockey goalies outfit, jousting cars, and reversing gravity. Waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much fun.

    And, timb is a cock. We should just tattoo a mushroom bruise on his forehead.

  14. narciso says:

    Maybe he could have played Grandpa Nicholas Claudius Kirk. By the way
    have you caught Shatner’s own reinvisioned “Academy” tale, where
    Kirk and Spock are supposed to have met. It’s interesting. . .to say the
    least.

  15. There’s…something in the script pitch, some…thing!

  16. Pablo says:

    On the bright side, he can totally name his own price.

  17. JD says:

    I like Shatner more and more every time I watch that Boston Legal show. Michael from The Office, Charlie from 2.5 Men, and Denny Crane could keep me laughing for days.

  18. The Ouroboros says:

    If he’ll work for scale maybe they can work him in as Capt. Kirk’s never before seen look alike twin cousin… Maybe give him a Scottish accent or something.. Kinda like the Patty Duke Show…

    Bill Shatner: I suppose I’ll be starring in your new Star Trek movie..

    JJ Abrams: Well, not exactly..

    Bill Shatner: Come on.. we both know you have uncast rolls… How ’bout a leading roll.

    JJ Abrams: Go lower..

    Bill Shatner: A featured roll…?

    JJ Abrams: Nancy-boy…

    Bill Shatner: A supporting role..?

    JJ Abrams: Cupcake..

    Bill Shatner: …. a walk-on for scale..

    JJ Abrams: Now you’re negotiating…

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