Full transcript available here. My verdict? Barack Obama is to the presidency what an elevator is to an outhouse. I’ll let you all suss out why that is. It’s like a puzzle!

— And please, thor: wipe up after yourself this time. Or at least use a wad of Kleenex or a sock like normal guys do. Also, in case you haven’t already seen it: Burning down the house. (thanks to Spies, et al)

So, you see, I spent all afternoon watching stuff I’d Tivo’d over the last couple weeks and haven’t been following the news. Anybody care to fill me in on what’s happening with the “bailout,” the debate, etc.? I’d do the same for you.

Just to save you all some time this evening, should you wish to go bowling or some such. Obama: “This is a Republican financial crisis, let me just highlight that. Solution? Change. Because we don’t need more of the same.” McCain: “First of all, let me go on record as saying Black is Beautiful — and that yes, Republicans share the blame for the culture of corruption in Washington. Beyond

A feature, not a bug.

John Paulson, president and portfolio manager of New York-based investment management firm Paulson & Co. Inc., thinks “The Public Deserves a Better Deal”: The Treasury plan to buy illiquid financial assets has been widely criticized as being unfair to taxpayers, who will have to bear losses ahead of shareholders of the institutions that will be bailed out. There is a better alternative to stabilize the markets: Invest the $700 billion

Via Percy, this bit of surreal asininity: A Maine TV news anchor who bears a resemblance to the Republican vice presidential nominee says she’s been getting “hate mail and nasty phone calls” from viewers who think she’s trying to copy Sarah Palin’s signature style. Cindy Michaels from WVII-TV has long brown hair that she sometimes wears up in a style similar to Palin’s, and she also wears glasses on occasion.

Anybody in the market for a couple pairs of New Balance cross trainers, slightly used? Off-white with orange trim / off-white with blue trim. Size 13 Call or email me. And remember: nobody beats my prices — nobody! *

From ABC News’ Political Radar: Appearing on Good Morning America Thursday, Clinton told ABC News’ Chris Cuomo that McCain’s push to postpone the debate would only be a good political move if both candidates agreed. McCain announced on Wednesday that he would “suspend” his presidential campaign to come to Washington to help negotiate a financial bailout bill […] “We know he didn’t do it because he’s afraid because Sen. McCain