1. dirt
2. dress socks
3. Gilbert Gotfried
4. a smear of Staphylococcus aureus
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October 31, 2006
The “a random selection of 4 things you should never, ever put on a hot dog—even though the temptation to do so must be intense” post (for my son)
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Comment by ahem on 10/31 @ 9:08 pm #
The answer is 5. Ketchup. If you can do just that one thing–make Satch a man who never puts ketchup on his hotdog–you will have succeeded in life.
Staph is also great with grilled cheese sandwiches.
Comment by Pablo on 10/31 @ 9:14 pm #
Unless you’re a picky hot dog purchaser, it doesn’t much matter what you put on the dog.
Stick with the Jooos and you’ll be alright, kid. And not that Mayer character, either.
Comment by MScott on 10/31 @ 9:14 pm #
Never understood the “no ketchup on a hot dog” thing, starting with that famous line from Sudden Impact. True, ketchup can’t go it alone, but it offsets the mustard nicely in my own humble opinion.
Could it possibly be (and I say this in the spirit of Halloween) the potential “bleeding member” imagery that’s conjured? Because mustard visually implies infection and “infected member” isn’t exactly something I’d want to put in my mouth either.
Comment by BJTexs on 10/31 @ 9:18 pm #
Huh?
Dude, I’m beggin’ ya, get the tyke some help, preferably someone with a diploma that says “Phd” somewhere.
<gack>
Comment by Pablo on 10/31 @ 9:23 pm #
Uh, Dude? Maybe not. They give those things to anybody.
What you want to do is find an upper middle aged guy with a pipe, a beard and a bad haircut. Or maybe that chick from the Sopranos.
Comment by Big Bang hunter on 10/31 @ 9:27 pm #
6. Mayonaise – (said to cause sudden outbreaks of mass murder and rioting)
Comment by Tai Chi Wawa on 10/31 @ 9:28 pm #
I understand some hot dogs are actually made with Gilbert Gotfried’s dirty dress socks and a dollop of staph?
Comment by BJTexs on 10/31 @ 9:34 pm #
Hey, this is ‘Merica. Nuthin’ says My Country Tis of Thee like 4H, apple pie, 30/06 and Staphylococcus aureus on Hot Dogs.
GOD BLESS THE USA!
Just shiver and shit like a man!
Comment by McGehee on 10/31 @ 10:16 pm #
BBH, I think #3 covers that.
Or am I thinking #4?
Six of one…
Comment by McGehee on 10/31 @ 10:17 pm #
I went to school with a kid who had glasses for that.
For some reason nobody trusted him with a 30.06
Comment by mgroves on 10/31 @ 10:26 pm #
Ketchup on hot dog = hate our freedoms.
Comment by Lost My Cookies on 10/31 @ 11:13 pm #
Aren’t hot dogs like technically made of staph?
Comment by ken on 11/1 @ 12:12 am #
I recommend skipping e coli as well…
Comment by Major John on 11/1 @ 12:17 am #
I don’t get it….what’s wrong with the dress socks? A little celery salt will get them to go down just fine.
Comment by N, O'Brain on 11/1 @ 12:58 am #
The hot dogs I buy have Staph built right in.
Mmmmmm, them’s good eatin’.
Comment by techinblack on 11/1 @ 1:10 am #
And there goes my hot dog eating days! Damn you Goldstein! DAMN YOUUUUUU!
Comment by Listeria on 11/1 @ 1:25 am #
Always a bridesmaid….
Comment by BJTexs on 11/1 @ 2:07 am #
And, thus, my abject ignorance of all things Guns has been exposed. Yes, it’s true, I am Neo without a Nine!
Weep for me…
Comment by dog 8 hm hmwk on 11/1 @ 8:53 am #
Isn’t that the very essence of what America is? The right to put whatever you damn well please upon that obscene menu item. You might not know what goes into them, but at least you can decide what goes on ‘em. Be is mustard and ketchup, mayo and relish, chili and onions, or whatever combo floats your gustatory boat. That’s America!
Trackback by John Mayer on 4/7 @ 10:15 am #
John Mayer
John Clayton Mayer ( surname pronunciation: me.j r ) (born October 16, 1977 ) is an Amer
Comment by Kettie on 11/25 @ 12:23 am #
wow what a nice post about Socks and retail information.
Its a very needed information because i need to buy variety of socks.
Thanks
Comment by Mona on 11/27 @ 12:39 am #
wow what a nice post about Socks and retail information.
Its a very needed information because i need to buy variety of socks.
Comment by Mona on 11/27 @ 3:03 am #
Thanks for providing information and prices of different variety of socks. I need this info because i am using online shopping services.
Comment by Wetdancers on 3/22 @ 9:32 am #
On International Women’s Day, the suffering of Palestinian women continues Eyewitnesses said the soldiers forced several citizens to strip at gunpoint.
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