Knock knock Who’s there? Former DC Mayor Marion Barry. No hookers here, sir. But you don’t understand — No Crack, either. Wait, I’m trying to tell you that I’m running for DC City Council — I have a gun. Go away.*
June 13, 2004
Revisionism (the Oliver Willis poem)
for Dawn W. Often, when scooping guacamole onto crispy corn tortilla chips, Oliver Willis wonders aloud: Had the pyramids been fashioned from Cool Ranch Doritos held firmly in place by creamed avocado paste, would Moses have bitched quite so much about his “people’s” so-called “predicament”…?
June 13, 2004
Then my dog says to me,
“Well, it’s your call Big Guy, but if it were me, I’d kill ’em dead. Like, with a gun and stuff.”* **** h/t LeatherPenguin
June 13, 2004
Of mice and (bureaucratic) men
Everything wrong with the current environmental movement is here, conveniently distilled into one remarkable story. h/t Beck related: when Druids attack (or, how I learned to stop worrying and love Birkenstocks).*
June 13, 2004
Brautigan, Revisited – an American love story
Chapter 18: Looking Glass Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9. Chapter 10. Chapter 11. Chapter 12. Chapter 13. Chapter 14. Chapter 15. Chapter 16. Chapter 17 “Sometimes it’s lonely being dead,” I said, sidling up beside her. I kissed the nape of her neck and wrapped my arms gently around her waist. She smelled of Boone’s Farm, strawberry.
June 13, 2004
Violets are Blue*
An east coaster by birth, I sure do miss this. I mean, mountains are great and all, but the surfing’s for shit. And the only decent crabs I’ve been able to find in Colorado come from a $35-a-throw party girl named “Kiki.” God bless her.
June 12, 2004
Current score: Jeff 2,
flies who tried landing on my ham sandwich, 0. update: 4-2 final, my way.
June 12, 2004
Um…
Q: Why isn’t this story leading the news cycle? The United Nations has determined that Saddam Hussein shipped weapons of mass destruction components as well as medium-range ballistic missiles before, during and after the U.S.-led war against Iraq in 2003. The UN Monitoring, Verification and Inspection Commission briefed the Security Council on new findings that could help trace the whereabouts of Saddam’s missile and WMD program. The briefing contained satellite
June 12, 2004
haiku primer (a structural performative, followed by a narrative series)
Haiku Title Here five syllables here seven syllables right here five syllables here ***** 1. The Reiver Michael Moore, rhino- hipped cad that he is, stole my chili-cheese dog. ***** 2. The Reiver, cont. His mouth caked in cheese, Michael Moore smiled at the Reagan funeral. ***** 3. Synchronicity A fist in his pants, Ted Rall smiled too, his hatred relieved with quick jerks.
June 12, 2004
Brautigan, Revisited – an American love story
Chapter 17: Questions, Questions Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9. Chapter 10. Chapter 11. Chapter 12. Chapter 13. Chapter 14. Chapter 15. Chapter 16. “What was that all about?” Liz asked matter-of-factly when I returned from my walk later that afternoon. I had been out for about six hours combing the streets of Boston, lurking behind public mailboxes,