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Flu update, day 3

My son woke up at 6:15 this morning screaming. He had a nightmare about dragons, from what I could gather — one that may have been fueled by a 104.5 degree temperature. I fed him his kiddie Motrin and dabbed his cheeks and arms with a warm compress, then rubbed his shoulders and told him stories (about Puff, a magic dragon who daddy really, really loved back in college) until he fell back to sleep.

Meanwhile, my own flu seems to have migrated from stomach to head. In fact, my headache was so severe while I was taking care of Satch that I almost wished little Jackie Paper had a beeper, and that he could maybe spot me a nickel bag.

At any rate, I’m still down for the count — and now, I have to keep a really close eye on my son’s fever. So hopefully Dan, et al., can continue providing content while out out.

Who knows? When I come back, maybe my ISP provider won’t have pulled the plug on protein wisdom just yet

Meantime, remember: you have nothing to fear from the creeping “multiculturalist” demands of Muslim interest groups.

In fact, even clicking this link marks you as a bedwetting orange-stained Cheeto eater with some sort of psychosexual conflict that prevents you from just following through already with your desires to ass-bang Mandingo.

22 Replies to “Flu update, day 3”

  1. wishbone says:

    As long as Happy Kwanzaa is still ok–we have nothing to fear.

    Hannukah, however…RIGHT OUT!!!

  2. mishu says:

    I thought Mandingo was supposed to ass-bang us.

  3. Challeron says:

    Uh, I was always under the impression that a Christian’s “most holy day” would be Easter.

    … even though it was stolen from the pagan celebration of Eastre, something to do with the re-birth of the Earth (and the food it provides).

    I never could figure out where anyone found a fir tree in Bethlehem….

  4. JD says:

    I was hoping that the Rox win(s) would rejuvenate the 2 of you.

  5. The Ouroboros says:

    Hate to bring it up but that severe headache thing is a key indicator that you might actually be infected with that brain eating amoeba… not to be a wet blanket or anything.. Probably picked it up through unprotected intellectual intercourse with Prof C or one of his minions..

    On the upside that stupid, fake Cryllic BRAINFART header is gone… Yayyyyyy!

  6. psychologizer says:

    Despite my careful purchases of just the right combinations and amounts of ingredients for several distinct kinds of wonderful sandwiches, all I find left now is ham and horseradish and pumpernickel and American cheese.

    You can’t put that shit together. It’s not even food. All it is is evidence that someone made a bunch of stupid sandwiches in my house.

    Is this the metaphorical ass-raping I’ve been longing for? Why do I still feel so empty? The leading suspect is a Sicilian — the semi-Othello kind. Is that just not brown enough to get me off?

    I don’t even know who I am anymore.

  7. Andrew says:

    I’m pretty sure Mandingo would not submit to be ass-banged by someone with Cheetos fingers. You’d probably be the mattress in that relationship, NTTAWWT.

  8. Fat Man says:

    Take the kid to the Doctor. STAT.

  9. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    104.5? That’s pretty damned high. And there is NOTHING worse than your child being sick. Hang in there.

  10. TODD says:

    Maybe time to take your son in Jeff, and for the nickel bag, I’ll call you later…..

  11. Jeff G. says:

    Just retook his temp — 5+ hours after Motrin — and he was in the normal range. Gonna feed him another shot of Motrin anyway, but I think (and hope) that the incident early this morning was his fever breaking.

    I use one of those digital ear thermometers, and my pediatrician told me that those things are generally about a half-degree to a degree higher than under the arm. So while 104.5 certainly freaked me out a bit, I tried to remember that it was probably a bit lower.

    My own fever has gone down after three days, so we’ll see where he is later and then tomorrow. Right now, he’s happy as a clam that he gets to watch the Disney Channel in Mom and Dad’s bed, with his stuffed Llama in Pajamas and his Buzz Lightyear by his side.

  12. mishu says:

    You’re supposed to let Mandingo ass-rape you to prove you are not afraid of him. At any rate you deserve it as an American and there must be penitent for all of her past sins. You know, Mossadegh, Allende and shit.

  13. spongeworthy says:

    104.5 is not nothing for a little kid, but it’s not panic-worthy either. 106 you might think about the ER.

    I used to let my fever-stricken little boy play in a tub of lukewarm water. It was amazing to watch someone so very ill just splashing away and laughing at his toy boats and ducks.

  14. TODD says:

    Let’s just turn this Madingo thing around and give him a taste of a good ole American ass raping, that will show em. Or even better a good prison rape. Not that there is anything wrong with that…..

  15. McGehee says:

    104.5

    No wonder he was screaming. That station is “adult contemporary.”

  16. nk says:

    Are you sure it’s viral? There’s some whatchamacallit “H. flu” going around here that’s infected the whole neighborhood. Cipro helps, though.

  17. RC says:

    just had my annual first aid update and the high fever in children being ER panic worthy material is an old wives tale. Room temperature or a bit warmer bath will relieve much of the discomfort.

  18. AB says:

    I can only recommend Kombucha.

    Before I feel a fever coming on, my wrist feels tender. I drink a bottle of G.T. Dave’s Kombucha and I feel better. Perhaps placebo, perhaps the real deal. I trust it.

    First time poster. Love the site. Hope y’all feel better.

  19. MensRea says:

    104.5 is not nothing for a little kid, but it’s not panic-worthy either. 106 you might think about the ER.

    Thank you, spongeworthy, for quelling the fever fear-mongers. Yeah, a high fever is scary in a little kid, but it’s only a symptom. Keep him comfortable, and watch for the more worrisome signs: extreme lethargy, shortness of breath, rapid breathing, or other troubles breathing. These sorts of signs may indicate a more serious underlying issue (such as a bacterial infection).

  20. Merovign says:

    Take care of your kid, Jeff, and take care of yourself.

    If you go off-line, I’m sure we’ll take care of your phone bill. Health is more important.

  21. Derek says:

    I disagree
    Can you give more info?

  22. Unbrick Psp says:

    After a long search through all the “waste of space” blogs, I finally find yours and am happy! Thanks for the informative read, and I look forward to more!

Comments are closed.