The wife and I took protein wisdom offspring to his first baseball game this afternoon — an extra-innings affair the Rockies blew in the 9th, then lost in the 10th. Still, a beautiful, mostly-relaxing day at Coors — and on the plus side, the boy is still too young to understand the slew of expletives I shouted at Rockies’ closer Shawn Chacon after he gave up the tying two-run homerun to the number 8 hitter with one out in the top of the 9th.
Best line of the day (from the female half of a kindly elderly couple sitting behind us): “Oh my. I didn’t know you could rhyme ‘Chacon’ with that.”
Best drink of the day: Are you kidding me? I’m not paying $5.75 for a Coors Light. Ever.
Come to Manhattan and you can pay $8.00 for a Coors Lite. But at least you can say you didn’t pay $5.75.
It’s been kind of depressing watching the Astros this season because of a lack of closing tallent. Our starting pitching lineup is absolutely amazing. But we lost our ace closer Billy Wagner who was, quite frankly, one of the best closers in the history of the sport. In other words, we’ve given up a lot of leads.
But then, we just swept the Cubs, so I’m kinda happy right now (though I just read that Andy Pettitte has reinjured himself).
Best thing about the Astros, though, is the Outfield Bar at Minute Maid Park. Instead of paying $5 for Bud, you get to pay $5 for a well made margarita. Plus, if you so desire, you can watch the entire game from the bar area and not even bother with your seats–open to all.
Well, if it’s pronounced (cha-CONE), then all sorts of things. Did you use “tubby-ass stupid gascan”?
As for Wagner, we (I obviously am a significant minority owner of the Astros) keep him, no Pettite, and by extension, no Clemens. Plus he’s hurt.
I once struck Lance Berkman out three times in a game against Rice.
Okay, no I didn’t. Twice, though. Okay, no I didn’t. But he’s a helluva hitter.
The injury was unforseeable, the Astros can afford at least another $25 million on their payroll, and I worked with a guy who played with Chuck Knoblauch. Really nice guy evidently.
Regardless, how fucking badass is Roger Clemens?
To say nothing of how I’ve never forgiven Randy Johnson for not staying with the Astros.
For some strange reason, the Astros have never been able to hold onto their best pitchers. We gave up Nolan Ryan (who only wanted $1 million and was still in his prime), we gave up Daryl Kyle (a tragic loss when he died), we gave up Mike Hampton to the Yankees–an ace pitcher who could bat .300, and we lost him to the fuckin’ American league.
One of the formative moments of my life was when the Astros lost the NL championship to the Mets in ‘86 on bad calls. I’ve never forgiven the Mets. Never will.
But god I love baseball.
We didn’t give up Hampton. He liked the “schools” (read money) in the Denver area so he signed with the Rockies. His overratedness became apparent and he has since been with NYMets and the Braves. He still sucks.
Jeff: That was Berkman’s dad, Vance. And you didn’t strike him out so much as you clumsily spilled a beer on him.
That would certainly explain the dry cleaning bill he sent me. Mystery solved, then.