Antonia Zerbisias, writing in yesterday’s Toronto Star (loosely paraphrased): “Sure, I may be fat, drunk, and Canadian,* but that’s only because the rightwingneoconjewcabal wants me to be fat, drunk, and Canadian. They have that kind of power, trust me. And their rightwingneoconjewcabal fingerprints are on everything that happens in the world, anywhere and at any time, ever…”
*(With apologies yet again to those Canadians who happen not to be drunk, shrill, potentially Jew-hating conspiratoids with their own imbecilic and ubiquitously anti-American columns in the Toronto Star.)
Every time I see this conspiracy theory brought out into the despicable sunlight, I want to stab somebody. Thank goodness for the vintage 1980’s “The Empire Strikes Back” pillow where Leia’s face looks like scrambled bacon and eggs, or there’d be a lot of people out there with holes in them.
Doesn’t the Patriot Act allow us to muzzle the Canadian press? I’m sure it’s in there. I think it literally says “muzzle.” Or maybe it’s “filet and marinate.” In any case, she can say what she wants, but justice would require that she say it through a wad of socks and duct tape.
(Wow. Did I just get away with typing that? You’d expect the evil genius/bumblingly idiotic Bush administration to have at least edited out the Patriot Act slander before I posted this.)
She shouldn’t worry too much. A head covering fashioned out of simple tin foil should protect her.