9 Michael Vick excuses for running a dog fighting ring
“One of the dogs really did eat my homework — and from there, it just kinda snowballed…”
I’m part Korean on my father’s side. So where you see a ‘dog fighting ring,’ I see a a buffet table filled with the freshest dishes this side of a Pukp’yongdong barbecue. RACISTS!
“For some reason, it’s next to impossible to get you hands on sabertooth tigers, even if you have, like, a shitload of green…”
“Clearly, the whole enterprise was intended as a metaphor for Bush’s ill-advised war in Iraq. So by judging me, you judge yourselves…”
“Cock fighting sounded too gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…”
“You sure you’re not confusing me with O.J.?”
“Wait, those were dogs? I thought they were just little tiny hornless bulls. What is it with you white people and your English language, anyway?”
“Well, they bit me first.”
“If it helps, think of me as a kind of Bob Barker after the fact.”*
24 Replies to “9 Michael Vick excuses for running a dog fighting ring”
11. The dogs were posing for a picture when the bulldog accused the St. Bernard of dealing an ace off the bottom of the deck, and then things just got crazy.
“I’m part Korean on my father’s side. So where you see a ‘dog fighting ring,’ I see a a buffet table filled with the freshest dishes this side of a Pukp’yongdong barbecue.”
Sure, Jeff, and next you’ll be telling us that he drinks Jack Spaniels, too.
15. Running a dog fighting operation is a heck of a lot easier for Vick than throwing a 15 yard timing pattern, or throwing anywhere near where his receivers can catch it.
10) Hey, on Sept 30th, the Bears are going against the Lions. You don’t see anyone complaining about that, do you?
11. The dogs were posing for a picture when the bulldog accused the St. Bernard of dealing an ace off the bottom of the deck, and then things just got crazy.
12. I was just making a video to send to the Dog Whisperer so he’d come and help with my puppy’s behavior problems.
13. I was simply sheltering Tank Johnson’s poor cast-off dogs. I can’t help what they learned under his watch.
They aren’t fighting dogs, they’re highly trained tattoo removers.
“I’m part Korean on my father’s side. So where you see a ‘dog fighting ring,’ I see a a buffet table filled with the freshest dishes this side of a Pukp’yongdong barbecue.”
Sure, Jeff, and next you’ll be telling us that he drinks Jack Spaniels, too.
This is completely offtopic, and please forgive me for it, but is anyone (else) going to Lebowski Fest (http://lebowskifest.com/) this weekend?
14. These dogs are overrated. Sure, they can run, but they can’t throw a timing pattern pass for nuthin’.
15. Running a dog fighting operation is a heck of a lot easier for Vick than throwing a 15 yard timing pattern, or throwing anywhere near where his receivers can catch it.
16. The dog blood spatter on the floor really ties the room together.
Racist.
The white man invented dog fighting to keep the black man down.
Or maybe Vick read White Fang by Jack London back in 4th grade and was permanently scarred
17. At least I’ve never choked every time they got to the playoffs over the last 15 years, like some other Atlanta-based team I could name.
I’m still getting my head around Jeff commenting on football. Just used to all those boring baseball posts. :)
18. OK. Wiseass. Where DO hotdogs come from?
tw; earouse always
You say dog fighting I say “Dancing with the Dogs” next season on NBC. SO GET OFF MY NUTS.
19. My kid brother got first choice, and he went for the minor-corrupting, stomp on your opponent rock.
Kinda disappointed that all you honkies who been complainin’ about a brutha’s pit-bulls now start cryin’ when they kill each other an’ shit.
20. “I defer all my comments to the esteemed Reverend Jesse Jackson”
21. “When I see……dogs…….hanging from……chains, beaten…..and drowned….it remindsme…..of…the slave ships…..of old…..”
22. I prefer kittens to pit bulls. They’re so cuddly!
23. Because the parakeet-fighting ring just wasn’t working out.
24. It’s not like my dogs’ barking wakes my neighbors, I removed all 57 of their larynxes myself.
25. “Next you’re gonna tell me arson is a crime!”
26. “Hey, slamming the dog on the concrete wasn’t my idea. I told them to shoot him.”
27. I was just so damn mad about that Scooter Libby deal, I had to smash something into the ground.
TW – infinitely done, with a bottle of A-1: How uber-rednecks eat their Fill-it MIG-nawn.