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Discarded Japanese Condoms Destroying Gaia [Dan Collins]

Leading to decimation of Chilean sea bass population: 

Thankfully, condom technology has advanced to the point where 580 million condoms are sold each year in Japan and competition within the industry is, er, stiff. Indeed, Japan boasts more condoms used per person per year than any other country. To get ahead in the race for safe sex supremacy, Japanese consumers are being treated to innovative market thrusts that are by turns interesting, unusual and downright weird. So, leave that poor turtle alone and come with us (ahem), as we count down The Top 10 Weirdest Japanese Condoms!

Okay, so I made invented that first part up.

I just don’t know what else to say.

11 Replies to “Discarded Japanese Condoms Destroying Gaia [Dan Collins]”

  1. JD says:

    For some reason, it seems completely inappropriate to have links to articles about condoms and stupid lawyers in the same post. Generally, lawyers do not extend you the courtesy of even lubing it up, much less a condom, when they are sticking it to you.

  2. MMShillelagh says:

    Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a whore?
    A: A whore will stop fucking you once you are dead.
    (N.B. It is not possible to craft a lawyer joke mean enough to properly insult lawyers. This was the first thing I learned in law school.)

    Those condoms have to be the funniest things I have ever seen. I think they approach the theoretical limit of hilarity, and even extend their grasp to brush the very Form of Hilarity. To borrow a meme from elsewhere on the Internets, “What the fuck is wrong with Japan?”

  3. MarkD says:

    What’s wrong with Japan? Well, I’m not there anymore. It’s expensive as hell. The language is tough to read. They drive on the wrong side of the road. Earthquakes. Typhoons. Poisonous snakes. Encephalitis. Other than that, I can’t think of much.

  4. JD says:

    They sure do make some kick-ass cars and TV’s, so they are not all bad.

  5. MMShillelagh says:

    But they also sell used panties in vending machines.

  6. In the immortal words of “South Park”:

    “I am above the law!! [the lock falls forward, and he dabs some SPOOGE gel to put it back in place] Mr. Chef, I’m afraid you leave me no alternative. We’re going to sue you.”

  7. “Super Big Boy”.

    Anyone who’s ever seen the sort of “prosthetics” Japanese men can buy in their local sex shops will get a double laugh out of that.

  8. memomachine says:

    Hmmm.

    But aren’t the Japanese down near the bottom of the list on frequency of sex acts per month?

    So what the hell are those Yellow Devils doing with the condoms?

  9. Synova says:

    There’s the sort of laughing that means fun sex, and then there’s the sort of laughing that involves those condom packages.

  10. McGehee says:

    WE are all brack people.

  11. JD says:

    MMShillelagh – I know I am in for a good laugh when I see your name at the top of a comment.

Comments are closed.