Terror Commander Warns of Dwarf Bomb Attack [Dan Collins]

November 2024
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Shawn says:

July 14, 2007 at 9:58 pm

I think I saw that guy running around in World of Warcraft once.

Sean M. says:

July 15, 2007 at 2:52 am

So, now Ron Dellums is Oakland’s mayor? Great. I guess the only qualification for the job is that the mayor should be some sort of radical burnout.

If Dellums leaves office for any reason, I’m sure Jerry Garcia’s corpse is available to take over. That might even be an improvement, come to think of it.

BJTexs says:

July 15, 2007 at 4:54 am

Dwarf Jihadi’s? Hah! JD’s worst nightmare!

ahem says:

July 15, 2007 at 3:16 pm

Who pissed the dwarfs off?

Dewclaw says:

July 15, 2007 at 5:24 pm

Actually, that is a Warhammer minature… a Games Workshop gaming piece, Chaos by the look of it.

I play the future version of the game… Warhammer 40k.

JD says:

July 16, 2007 at 7:46 am

DAN COLLINS – YOU ARE AN EVIL HURTFUL MAN!

For that, I am going to spend the next couple of hours trying to find pictures of the recently reported menage’-a-blubber of Rosie, Momma Sheehan, and Pelosi.

JD says:

July 16, 2007 at 7:48 am

Dwarf jihadi’s are quite possibly the most dastardly idea outside of the multi-colored Oompa Loompa’s. All of this dwarf jihadi shit is not doing much to promote my tolerance of the super-vertically-challenged.

BJTexs says:

July 16, 2007 at 7:56 am

JD:

“All of this dwarf jihadi shit is not doing much to promote my tolerance of the super-vertically-challenged.”

Your dwarf tolerance concept seems to mirror the jihadists’ tolerance of, well, everything.

By the way, the super vertically challenged have issued a fatwa against you. Have a small day!

JD says:

July 16, 2007 at 8:01 am

I am going to drop kick the next dwarf I encounter, just to see if they are as aerodynamically as sound as a football. They had midget boxing at a local strip club this weekend. Suffice it to say that I passed, out.

JD says:

July 16, 2007 at 8:02 am

I would prefer that they carry out their fatwa, instead of haunting not only my dreams, but thanks to BJ and Dan, my waking hours as well. Devious bastards.

BJTexs says:

July 16, 2007 at 8:11 am

Hey, JD?

There are some strange guys here looking for you named Frodo, Bilbo, Merry and Sam. They claim you promised them a cask of mead, midget boxing and fireworks and if they don’t get it they’re going to hide in your basement and chip away at the integrity of the foundation of your casa.

What should I tell them? ‘Cause they’re draggin this foul smelling big headed scraggly haired dude who smells like he bathed in my septic tank.

JD says:

July 16, 2007 at 9:36 am

Frodo and Bilbo can drop by my place, as I have a ring for them. They can use my cock ring for their simple little people games like hula hoop.

That stinky dude is all yours.

JD says:

July 16, 2007 at 9:47 am

A cask of mead sounds fun, while I put all of the midgets in the Octagon that I constructed in my back yard. I will have a Midget Death Cage match, where only 1 survives, effectively culling the herd one Death Match at a time.

I also avoid my crawlspace for fear of small furverts, midgets, trolls, gnomes, and other vertically challenged nightnares.

JD says:

July 16, 2007 at 11:19 am

BJ and Dan are EVIl personified.

BJTexs says:

July 16, 2007 at 12:34 pm

Oh, come now, JD! Dan and I would just like to say…

Stop being so small…. (heh)

JD says:

July 16, 2007 at 12:47 pm

Small … minded? Probably. At 6’3″ and 220, you would think that the little people would not scare me so much. One walked into the restaurant where I was eating on Saturday night, and sat at the barstool directly across from my table. I stared, constantly, and it ruined my dinner. My better half was pissed.

JD says:

July 16, 2007 at 3:40 pm

Pure, unadulterated evil. I cannot get this fucking picture out of my head. If somebody could find a picture of Helen Thomas and Rosie O’Donnell, and George Soros taking a shower together, maybe I could get this disgusting picture out of my head.

Dan Collins says:

July 16, 2007 at 8:18 pm

I’m sorry. David Lynch made me do it.

JD says:

July 17, 2007 at 2:45 pm

Then I will just add David Lynch to that list on my bathroom mirror. He is in good company – Dan Collins, BJTexs, and David Lynch, with Geezer being an Honorable Mention at this time ;-)