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"Peacock beaten in eatery parking lot" (UPDATE)

From the CBS/AP:

A peacock that roamed into the parking lot of a fast-food restaurant was attacked by a man who villified the bird as a vampire, animal-control authorities said.

The … bird was later euthanized, said Richard Gentles, a spokesman for the [New York] city’s center for Center for Animal Care and Control.

[…]

he peacock, a male several years old, wandered into a Burger King parking lot in the New York borough of Staten Island and perched on a car hood Thursday morning. Charmed employees were feeding him bread when the man appeared.

He seized the… bird by the neck, hurled it to the ground and started kicking and stomping the creature, said worker Felicia Finnegan, 19.

“He was going crazy,” she said.

Asked what he was doing, she said, the attacker explained, “I’m killing a vampire.”

Employees called police, but the attacker ran when he saw them. Authorities were looking for the attacker, described as being in his teens or early 20s.

— Well, that’s what the media wants you to believe, anyway.

Were it me, though, I’d be asking the obvious question: where was Dan Rather on Thursday morning?

And if he claims he was, “having a scone with Mary Mapes,” I’d begin working to break that particular bullshit alibi, like, toot sweet!

Vampire peacocks. Christ. Isn’t it obvious what’s going on here? — or does the symbolism need to ball itself into a fist and beat you about the head and shoulders while screaming, “What’s the frequency, Kenneth?”

****
update: The peacock, it turns out, is an NBC emblem (CBS has that WE ARE THE EYE OF BIG BROTHER thing).

Which means that I’m going to have to adjust my theory somewhat and direct those interested in seeing animal cruelty punished to look closely at Seth Green, whose Four Kings was unceremoniously dumped after only 7 episodes in 2006.

Plus, he’s notorious for his bad temper and a hatred of all things iridescent.

Coincidence? You tell me

26 Replies to “"Peacock beaten in eatery parking lot" (UPDATE)”

  1. Rick says:

    Nah…the peacock is NBC’s (former) symbol, so my usual suspect is Arthur Kent.

    Cordially…

  2. Dan Collins says:

    I think it was the presumptious display of weeniemanliness that got him in trouble.

  3. Squid says:

    Strutting, preening, brainless, and taking bread from minimum-wage workers?

    I do believe the Dems may be short one candidate when the next debate comes around.

  4. Major John says:

    Vampire peacocks?! Great, like I didn;t have enough trouble with the 50 foot camel spiders.

  5. Pellegri says:

    Vampire peacocks?! Great, like I didn;t have enough trouble with the 50 foot camel spiders.

    OMG SEND ME ONE.

    I will love it and hug it and pet it and call it George.

  6. Jeff G. says:

    Rick —

    You beat me to my “update” — though I was taking the child star route.

    Because its so me.

  7. Shawn says:

    I don’t know. I think we should give Seth Green a pass, seeing as how he’s one of the creators of Robot Chicken–

    OMG! It makes perfect sense now!

  8. B Moe says:

    Keith Olberman is the Peacock Vampire. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.

  9. timb says:

    This is the end result of the Nixon/Agnew “liberal” press myth that is propounded with daunting regularity by talk show hosts all over AM radio. I blame this bird’s death on Sean Hannity…Michael Savage… and Rush. A deranged follower reacted violently when presented with a media symbol? You bastards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ***If it isn’t obvious, I’m kidding.

  10. mojo says:

    I hear they taste like chicken…

  11. It’s no coincidence that peacock tails are covered with EYES…

  12. I too have a hatred of iridecense. So much so that I recently took a day-old slice of roast beef and burned it beyond recognition. Then I ate it with frozen string beans and a box of cheap pink wine. f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f……

  13. Rob Crawford says:

    Which means that I’m going to have to adjust my theory somewhat and direct those interested in seeing animal cruelty punished to look closely at Seth Green, whose Four Kings was unceremoniously dumped after only 7 episodes in 2006.

    Hmmmm…. I know of the existence of a photo of Seth Green biting the head off a kitten.

    OK, he was just acting like he was going to.

    But the photo exists.

  14. TIm P says:

    “Were it me, though, I’d be asking the obvious question: where was Dan Rather on Thursday morning?”

    Dan Rather was in London masquerading as Gordon Brown, the new British P.M. Don’t believe me? Take a good look yourself.
    This liberal media controlling ‘the narrative’ is really getting out of hand man!

  15. Since the peacock had just read a Salman Rushdie novel, my view is that he was asking for it.

  16. MMShillelagh says:

    I am sure the Vampire bird survived. You need to pee on them. If you don’t fully desecrate the body, they come back. In the alternative, you could just have it shake hands with any of the Democratic presidential candidates.

    Pellegri… is that name a reference to the video game character? Because if it is, you are automatically the most attractive person on this forum.

  17. JD says:

    MMShillegagh – Is that character a bi-sexual female with large breasts ?

  18. Rob Crawford says:

    In the alternative, you could just have it shake hands with any of the Democratic presidential candidates.

    I thought you had to pound Al Gore through their hearts.

  19. Pablo says:

    Does Katie Couric have an alibi?

  20. Old Dan says:

    If the vampire peacock and the camel spider are on the burgundy battle badger, I’m out of here.

  21. Major John says:

    Giant Camel Spider backgrounder here [http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=40167]

  22. TheGeezer says:

    Have you ever held a mirror up to a peacock? Have you? HAVE YOU?

  23. Dan Collins says:

    You would have gotten more responses to this one if you’d have modified “beaten” with “savagely.” People get excited when they see “savagely beaten.”

  24. Chris Huck says:

    Christ dude – what the hell has gotten into you? I come home and get my 1st good laugh of the day…

    Note: With the new blog digs? Guessing if there’s any way you can BOLD the numbered lines of the comments page?
    Example: Comment by Rick on 7/2 @ 11:59 am #
    blah blah blah blah………

    Probably make them easier to read; your opinion may differ.

    That first suggestion followed by this thought: I’m going to touch myself in a few, and then go to bed.

    Goodnight, Colorado.

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