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You're threatened by one religion, you're threatened by them all

Yeah, I know. The term “moral relativism” is often thrown around with too little rigor. But in this case, well, you decide

****
related: 72% of atheists find curly fries as threatening as Hasidic Jews.

Which, that just seems silly, if you ask me.

20 Replies to “You're threatened by one religion, you're threatened by them all”

  1. Joseph says:

    As a member of the First Independent NonDenominational Martyrs Brigades, I would say that the godless infidels would do well to fear us.  Our mighty potlucks and pancake breakfasts will be their undoing!  We shall clog their arteries! We shall drown them in a deluge of wallet-sized tracts!  We shall destroy their minds with the carefully worded mind-control messages we send them every time they sneeze! All hail the First Independent NonDenominational Martyrs Brigades People’s Front!  Oh, and screw the People’s Front of the First Independent NonDenominational Martyr’s Brigades — splitters! PS.  Come on down next Saturday morning – we’re making WAFFLES! 

  2. timb says:

    Was there a high smpling of the small athiest camp in Iraq? Because, seriously, those people are in danger from fundamentalists of all stripes. Similarly, I suppose if I were Bosnian or Chechnyan I would have as much to fear from Christians as I do Muslims. But living in the West, and surrounded by the Monica Goodlings of the world? No, they are not threatening. At most, annoying, but then, one of them comes over to take his grandkids to a water park and you remember they’re not all bad.

    Curly fries? Those are way more dangerous than Hasidic Jews. Curly fries are gonna give me a heart attack; Hasidic Jews are as rare as rain in Indianapolis…

  3. Major John says:

    related: 72% of atheists find curly fries as threatening as Hasidic Jews.
    Which, that just seems silly, if you ask me.

    Syas the man who has never been cornered by a curly fry with a machette…
     

    Was there a high smpling of the small athiest camp in Iraq? Because, seriously, those people are in danger from fundamentalists of all stripes.

    Really?  Lots of Christianist car bombings over there?

  4. Last week, a Belgian tried to serve me "pomme frites" with mayonnaise, and I of course wrote a Baptist Fatwa on him for the offense.  Two Southern Baptists with explosive vests detonated just inside the doorway of his restaurant in a glorious martyrdom to the cause of no-dancing in church and no mayonnaise on fries.

  5. It depends which kind of Hasidic Jews you mean.  Curly fries are more threatening than the Lubavitcher but less threatening than the Satmar.

  6. Veeshir says:

    As Allah noted, if you cross-correlate with political affiliation, the results probably wouldn’t be all that surprising.
    As I commented there (comment number 8,263,149), just cuz you say you’re an atheist doesn’t mean you don’t have  a religion.
    I would bet that a large percentage of that 56% believe in Global Warming.

  7. McGehee says:

    You want dangerous, try the Amish.Get behind one on a two-lane road, and your schedule is all shot to H-E-double-toothpicks. 

  8. Jim in KC says:

    The two best reasons to go to New York:  pommes frites (no mayo for me, either) and Coyote Ugly.  PBR in cans, free tequila shots served in a variety of interesting ways, and a jukebox stuffed with BR549 tunes.  

  9. Jeff G. says:

    I guess sideburn humor ain’t as screamingly edgy as it once was…

  10. There’s gotta be something funny in my morning attempts to get them to match?

  11. lee says:

    My Christian church stoned to death three members last week. They had the gall to try and switch religions.

  12. Pablo says:

    I blame Atkins. 

  13. Major John says:

    Comment by McGehee on 6/18 @ 3:00 pm #
    You want dangerous, try the Amish.Get behind one on a two-lane road, and your schedule is all shot to H-E-double-toothpicks. 

    Tell me about it, I used to have to go to a Battalion Headquarters in Sullivan, Illinois.  Made sure to leave plenty early…

  14. furriskey says:

    You should use an Abrams. Get there as quick as you damn well please.

  15. Swen Swenson says:

    <blockquote><i>72% of atheists find curly fries as threatening as Hasidic Jews.</i></blockquote>Yeah, but they’d be equally threatened by an Arby’s orange cream shake if it wore one of those funky hats. And I’ve a feeling it’s the <i>straight</i> fries they really loath.

  16. Swen Swenson says:

    <blockquote><i><b>No HTML eh? Okaaay.. Indents it is.</b></i></blockquote>

    I do like the new look and I can’t wait to try something in color! (Oh ain’t that cute!) I knew I shouldn’t waste all that time learning HTML. All that hard-won skill obsolete overnight [sigh]. Damn computers, always trying to make things easy. Next thing you know even those knuckle-dragging neo-cons will be using them, and they even feel slightly threatened by mashed potatoes.

  17. Swen Swenson says:

    Well darn! That’s what I get for trying to inject colorful prose into a black & white world. I’ll wait..

  18. McGehee says:

    I can’t wait to try something in color!

     I said that to a gal once in college. She turned out to be a member of the Pan-African Students’ Union and I barely avoided being expelled.

  19. Pellegri says:

    Having just gotten back from a blood-drenched, all-night tear through Godless Babylon, Southern California with the rest of my Mormon cohort, I can tell you the atheists have EVERY REASON TO BE AFRAID.

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