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Don’t Bowl with Gnomes [Dan Collins]

“For 19 years Mrs Grzebska did the job of an experienced intensive care team, changing her comatose husband’s position every hour to prevent bed-sore infections,” Super Express reported Dr Boguslaw Poniatowski as saying.

“When I went into a coma there was only tea and vinegar in the shops, meat was rationed and huge petrol lines were everywhere,” Grzebski told TVN24, describing his recollections of the communist system’s economic collapse.

“Now I see people on the streets with cell phones and there are so many goods in the shops it makes my head spin.”

Grzebski awoke to find his four children had all married and produced 11 grandchildren during his years in hospital.

He said he vaguely recalled the family gatherings he was taken to while in a coma and his wife and children trying to communicate with him.

Ha!  My family gatherings are exactly the same!

It’s squinty fresh.

I want my mummy.

(h/t Laura W. at AoSHQ)

34 Replies to “Don’t Bowl with Gnomes [Dan Collins]”

  1. cynn says:

    So …. Jeff has left the building?  Anyone in charge?  That’s how I like it.  The immigration bill sucks, you lazy cowardly rethugs suck, and that is all.

  2. Dan Collins says:

    Pardon me, cynn, but please go fuck off where it’s appreciated.

  3. Serr8d says:

    Poor guy. Woke up this morning, world turned upside down. Things just ain’t the same

    Oh, and Cynn, what Dan said, and why don’t you go take Grzebski’s place for a while?

  4. Rich at Hurlburt says:

    Hey, it’s like Goodbye Lenin!

    Except it’s a guy… and stuff.

  5. JD says:

    cynn – Call your doctor.  See if you need to get the Seroquel prescription adjusted.

  6. cynn says:

    Ok, I get the message.  You want to have a cozy little salon all for yourselves.  That’s fine.  You get it all to yourselves.  I threw out a weak IED and got hissy-fit spittle as a response.  Way to go, H.R. Pufnstuff.

  7. JD says:

    Gnome bowling.  Interesting concept.  Though it is along the same lines as dwarf tossing, for some reason, gnome bowling does not instill terror in me, and sounds quite entertaining.

  8. Dan Collins says:

    Hi!  You suck!  Why so hostile?

  9. Tiim P says:

    Cynn, The only hissy-fit spittle here is yours.

    I guess in your case IED stands for the ‘Inevitable Execrable Dumb-ass.’

    lowed to use it without parental supervision.

  10. cynn says:

    Sorry to be such a b, but I have been extaordinally angry lately.  Larger than large.  It’s a combination of outrages.  I feel like people don’t matter anymore, and I have thought about it, and it’s the beginning of the end.  I just don’t wan’t that to happen; I’ll leave it alone.

    On preview, forget it.  Doesn’t matter.  Sorry.

  11. Serr8d says:

    Ahhh, cynn, you got the ‘weak’ part of your first bit of troll-bait analysis correct. The anti-cognitive side of your brain is always dominant when you’re trolling.

    Instead of leading off with, say, ‘We Democrats were so disheartened when Communism fell out of favor in the Eastern Bloc and the USSR, we probably would feel better if Grzebski would awaken and rail out against what he sees today as being too loose and Americanized, using so many more resources than any feeling economy should, and we Dems feel that Grzebski would be better off not awakening, yet, at least not until this current capitalist phase passes…’

    No, instead, you just did the malicious, petty, mean-spirited thing, that is dominant in your party…don’t feel bad. We understand, it’s in your nature.

  12. Dan Collins says:

    I think that all of this is a bit unfair.  She’s not often off topic, and she does her best to represent her side, even if it doesn’t make much sense to me.

    But you’re so wrong, cynn.  People are the only thing that do matter, and if you can talk yourself out of that proposition, then you’re hardly even people yourself, anymore.  So don’t.  But that doesn’t mean don’t look upon it.

    It just means . . . is anything really that real, if it’s not shared?  I can’t answer the question for you, but I know what the answer is for myself.  Now, go buy a DVD of “Big Fish”.

  13. JD says:

    The beginning of the end ?  That began when Pelosi was elected Speaker.

  14. cynn says:

    Dan, you and everyone want to throw everything away as easy.  It’s time we suck it up hard, and accept this as a hard-ass war, with all the attendant sacrifices.  Just talking fluffer nonsense is crap.  We disagree on much, but you can’t unring this bell.

  15. Dan Collins says:

    I have accepted this as a hard-ass war, cynn.

    I’m not a fluffer.

  16. B Moe says:

    It’s time we suck it up hard, and accept this as a hard-ass war, with all the attendant sacrifices.  Just talking fluffer nonsense is crap.  We disagree on much, but you can’t unring this bell.

    I work hard, pay my taxes, and trust people like Major John to spend them wisely and do the right thing, cynn.  What more do you suggest?  Ranting and raving about things I know little to strangers on a blog?  Worrying myself into a manic depression about things I have no control over?  What exactly should I be doing to prove I understand life is a bitch to the world?

  17. Serr8d says:

    I’ll apologize to cynn for overracting, if that’s what I did. Hmmmph. Something about ‘lazy cowardly rethugs’ must’ve touched a nerve.

    The blogworld lost Allan Kelly on Friday, 58, and Steve Gilliard (at the ripe old age of 41).  Maybe, in Heaven, they are chucking back a couple of brews together and wishing they hadn’t been on opposite sides of the fence for so long.

    So, cynn, have one on me.  Killian’s Red, I’m buying.

    Allan, Steve, RIP

  18. cynn says:

    No, you’re right, BMoe.  Sorry to be all mother hen on your complacent ass.  I have no answers, only unacceptable questions.

  19. cynn says:

    Serr8d owes me no apology.  You have been more than courteous.  You must be new here and unaware of how dissenters must be addressed.

  20. guinsPen says:

    You answered your own questions, cynn.

  21. Drumwaster says:

    I have no answers, only unacceptable questions.

    There will always be dissident voices heard in the land, expressing opposition without alternatives, finding fault but never favor, perceiving gloom on every side and seeking influence without responsibility. Those voices are inevitable.—From the speech JFK was prevented from giving on November 22, 1963

    Dissent is a necessary good in a free country. Mindless harping for minor partisan advantage entails great danger in time of war.—Stephen Green

    It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.—Theodore Roosevelt, Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

    TW: I realize that’s a lot56 to think about, so you’d better get cracking!

  22. B Moe says:

    You must be new here and unaware of how dissenters must be addressed.

    Sorry to be all mother hen on your complacent ass.  I have no answers, only unacceptable questions.

    You ain’t got shit but a bad attitude.  Go sober up and come back when you figure out how to express yourself like a grown-up.

  23. B Moe says:

    Here is a song for Dan, and one for cynn.

  24. Jim in KC says:

    Bowl with skinheads.  “I had a dream, I wanted to lick your knees…”

    I feel like people don’t matter anymore

    Welcome to the socialist states of America.  The more collectivism devalues the individual, the more you’re going to feel like that.  Sorry.

  25. Slartibartfast says:

    Dan, you and everyone want to throw everything away as easy.  It’s time we suck it up hard, and accept this as a hard-ass war, with all the attendant sacrifices.  Just talking fluffer nonsense is crap.  We disagree on much, but you can’t unring this bell.

    Knock off the bumperstickerisms, please, and tell us what you’re talking about.

    Or not, as you please.  But the more you toss out glib stuff like this, the more you begin to resemble alphie, and can you really blame anyone for being dismissive of alphie?

  26. McGehee says:

    Cynn, if you’re still here, and if I can say this without causing offense…

    It’s been my observation that those who become angry—genuinely angry, as you admit you are—over mere politics, are transferring their frustration over matters closer to home onto the world at large.

    And yes, I include myself in that scrutiny; well do I remember the 1990s.

    If it weren’t for your occasional, seemingly unprovoked blasts, I think you’d be well liked here. I think by some of us you already are because we can see that there’s more to you than trolling. We all want to see that side of you more, and the trolling less.

    Then again, maybe the thought of being liked and accepted here is what makes you get angry. If that’s the case, I don’t know what to tell you.

  27. JPS says:

    Is this a carryover from some previous hostile thread?  I’d gotten used to thinking of cynn as the soul of good-nature.

    cynn, people who write things like “lazy, cowardly rethugs” are so commonplace these days, they’re just tedious.  While I imagine you had as much fun writing that as I occasionally have stepping out of my character and into General Decker’s,

    [“Liberals…Intellectuals…Peacemongers…IDIOTS!”–Mars Attacks],

    for the rest of us it’s become ho-hum stuff.  Stay distinct, please.

  28. Pablo says:

    Dan, you and everyone want to throw everything away as easy.  It’s time we suck it up hard, and accept this as a hard-ass war, with all the attendant sacrifices.

    It seems to me that the general opinion here, if the is such a thing, is that it is a hard war and that it’s going to take time, money, blood, sweat and tears.

    Your message is valid, but I think you’ve picked the wrong audience for it, cynn.

  29. Rusty says:

    You might not have noticed, but when you fling poo you get poo flung back at ya. It’s just the way the world works.

    Dan, you and everyone want to throw everything away as easy.  It’s time we suck it up hard, and accept this as a hard-ass war, with all the attendant sacrifices.  Just talking fluffer nonsense is crap.  We disagree on much, but you can’t unring this bell.

    From the beginning,nobody said it ws going to be easy.

  30. TmjUtah says:

    This is the Long War.

    And as far as “sucking it up” and accepting it will be “hard-ass” I propose a refreshing (re)starting point might be for everyone to go back and refresh themselves on the last three rounds of Islamic ascendancy.

    We have yet to name the enemy.

    We have yet to employ anything remotely near our “max effort” in order to address the enemies’bases of operations.

    We have yet to take seriously our own absence of any sort of defense of our own borders; primarily in the existence of a long-standing and deeply entrenched illegal immigrant demographic that is financially attractive to business and by extension to political beasties on both economic and electioneering planes.

    On paper, slavery ended in the 1860’s.  For black skinned folk, at least.  Not so much the for the unskilled brown skinned folk our government would prefer to ignore.  Cheap sausages, chicken chunks, and stucco for Ma and Pa America and the nation of Mexico coasts along as an oligarchy of the connected, the corrupt, and the criminal that vents its desperate and hopeless to El Norte… the real costs manifest as closed ER’s, overflowing jails, and a growing sense among Americans that “America” might just be pretty sick and getting worse.

    I’d like to fight fundamentalist Islam on their turf, using their rules.  That doesn’t mean beheadings or bombs in pizza parlors. 

    It means naming the governments responsible for Islamist terror and taking steps to coerce them to mend their ways.

    A few steps toward a good start would be the destruction of Iran’s gasoline refining capacity, canceling our foreign aid to Egypt, and knocking back Saudi diplomatic and financial influence in this country.

    I think a dozen or so Saudis could probably get any real business done that needed being done.  The thousands here on diplomatic credentials are not an excess – they are a threat.

    And a comprehensive audit of the visa status of every immigrant in this country that originated from a muslim country.  And declaration of wahabist Islam as a political movement – not merely a religion.

    Call me when we begin to fight.  What is now is a sideshow, and will be duly recorded as such when or until14 the history is written.

  31. TheGeezer says:

    Dan, you and everyone want to throw everything away as easy.  It’s time we suck it up hard, and accept this as a hard-ass war, with all the attendant sacrifices.  Just talking fluffer nonsense is crap.  We disagree on much, but you can’t unring this bell.

    Does anyone remember the lefty assertions that this war is too easy on the average citizen, that we need to give up meat, work to recycle all metal for the war effort, ration gasoline and butter (or use artificially-colored, hydrogenated vegetable fat otherwise called margarine), just like they did in World War II?  The assertion charged that the war was immoral because it did not require everyone to sacrifice, only those who served in the voluntary armed forces.  We need more misery here at home, dammit!

    It derived from the same logic that produced the chickenhawk dogma.

    Maybe this is what Cynn means?

  32. Rob Crawford says:

    You might not have noticed, but when you fling poo you get poo flung back at ya. It’s just the way the world works.

    I know that, you know that. But the guards at the zoo? Well, let’s just say I can only visit under an assumed name.

    (Everyone should read cynn’s first two comments on this thread. Is there a better example of immaturity anywhere?)

  33. Pellegri says:

    I am so confused as to what cynn’s actual character is, and this has only made it worse.

    I’ll leave my commentary at that.

  34. cynn says:

    Guys, you got me.  I am so full of miasmic rage I can barely function.  Seriously, I might lose my job because I can’t stay away from the sob sister blogs that almost seem to promote the failure in Iraq.  I was vehemently opposed to this action, but now that we’re there, we have to support the poor souls who represent us.  And we must leave with honor.  I wish I didn’t sound like a dilettante.  I will try and refrain from engaging in political threads.

Comments are closed.