Y’all loved Goldstein.
And . . . you wanna kick my ass.
Well, here I am . . . all by my lonesome.
Dudes!!!
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
Pass the fuckin’ potatoes, willya Dan?
How come you can post pictures?
I’m special?
The only thing that can kill Collins, is Collins.
Working on it.
One more pun, and I’m up for it.
* Dan Collins’ tears can cure cancer, but Dan never cries.
* If you play Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” backwards, you will hear Dan Collins loading his shotgun.
* Does a bear shit in the woods? Only with signed notarized permission in triplicate from Dan Collins.
*Dan Collins is part man, part machine. Underneath, he has a hyper-alloy combat chassis – micro processor-controlled, fully armored. Very tough.
* Abraham Lincoln once said, “You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can never fool Dan Collins.”
*Dan Collins’ favorite color is the blood of his enemies
*Dan Collins understands women.
*Dan Collins kills at least one terrorist every day before he even has his first cup of coffee. You don’t want to be the terrorist he kills before he gets his first cup of coffee.
*Dan Collins can pat his head, rub his belly, and kill you all at the same time.
* Dan Collins often fills in for Paul Harvey and Batman as we ll as Jeff Goldstein.
* Physicists say nothing can escape a black hole or Dan Collins.
* Why does Iran want nukes? Fear of Dan Collins.
* Only two things can kill Superman: Kryptonite and Dan Collins.
* Every night, Osama checks under his bed for Dan Collins.
* Dan Collins is a prime number.
* Actual cause of global warming? Dan Collins’ burning rage.
* Dan Collins appears human size because he is actually standing a million miles away.
*Dan Collins’ favorite book is a battered copy of The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress which he used to beat a hippy to death with.
* Dan Collins eats shotgun shells for breakfast and craps 44 magnum bullets in the afternoon.
* When Dan Collins empties his pistol at the firing range, it reloads itself out of respect.
* When Dan Collins gave blood in Alaska, it fulfilled the Red Cross’s entire quota for 6 months.
* Dan Collins uses a .357 Magnum as a remote control.
* Dan Collins’s carbon footprint is the size of the Yukon.
* Dan Collins once opened a stuck jar of pickles by winking at it.
* Nuclear reactor coolant fills Dan Collins’ hot tub.
* There are only 2 things in life that are certain – Death and Dan Collins.
* Dan Collins flosses his teeth with a straight razor.
* Dan Collins eats lightning and craps thunder.
* Dan Collins uses a machine gun as a back scratcher.
* Waldo is hiding because of Dan Collins.
* Dan Collins reheats leftovers by staring at them.
* Dan Collins uses high octane gasoline as mouthwash.
* Dan Collins can see the American flag on the moon.
* Dan Collins can throw a 95-mph fastball ……. with his foot.
* Dan Collins uses the St. Louis Arch as a hand exerciser.
* Dan Collins’s steely glare will soften steel.
* Dan Collins runs a 4 minute mile in 42 seconds.
* When Dan Collins goes fishing, fish swim to the dock and volunteer to fill his limit.
* Tides flow in and tides flow out unless Dan Collins wants to take his kids to the beach.
Wow, Tim! You were doing great until I read this:
*Dan Collins understands women.
Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Oh, fuck, I’m crying.
um, yeah, so maybe you understand women cause you are one.
BWAHhahahaaa, what am I saying? I am one and half the time I don’t understand me.
It is the hormones. I have simply surrendered to them, in my wife. It is part of the marriage thingy.
In time, I will have my stroke and she will take care of me.
See how that works?
ah. yes, but can you really trust a bunch of hormones to take care of you? I’m just sayin. ;D
Where the hormones, there moan I.
That’s not punny.
How’d that whole “tough guy” thing work out for that Barnes fella?
“Dan Collins’ favorite book is a battered copy of The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress which he used to beat a hippy to death with.”
Don’t know why, but I liked this one the best – I can just see it. With Heinlein.
HOW ABOUT IT, POT HEADS?!