Search






Jeff's Amazon.com Wish List

Archive Calendar

November 2024
M T W T F S S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930  

Archives

It Was 40 Years Ago Today [Dan Collins]

Jeffrey Goldstein taught the band to play

They’ve been typing something really vile,

but they’re weeping like a crocodile.

So may I introduce to you: the act you’ve known for all these years,

Jeffrey Goldstein’s Homely Cock Slap Band.

We’re Jeffrey Goldstein’s Homely Cock Slap Band,

We hope you will enjoy the show,

We’re Jeffrey Goldstein’s Homely Cock Slap Band,

Come forth and smack the nappy ho.

Jeffrey Goldstein’s Homely, Jeffrey Goldstein’s Homely,

Jeffrey Goldstein’s Homely Cock Slap Band.

It’s wonderful to be here, it’s certainly a thrill.

You’re such a violent neo-con,

we’d like to take you home with us,

we’d love to take you home.

I don’t really want to stop the show,

but I thought that you might like to know,

that Mister Goldstein’s going to sing a song,

and he wants you all to sing along.

So let me introduce to you: the one and only Jeffy G.!

Jeffrey Goldstein’s Homely Cock Slap Band.

Jef-fy G.!…

What would you do if I smote a buffoon,

Would you visit Travelocity?

Lend me your eyes and I’ll type you haikus,

And I’ll try not to type out of key.

Ooh I get by with a little help from my friends,

Ooh I get high with a little help from my friends,

Ooh gonna try with a little help from my friends.

Could it be anybody?

I just need someone to slap.

Could it be anybody?

I won’t put up with their crap.

Would you convert to a fluorescent light?

Well I’m certain that it happens all the time.

Is it a hate crime if it’s black-on-white?

I can’t tell you, if I act like a mime.

Ooh I get by with a little help from my friends,

Ooh I get high with a little help from my friends,

Ooh gonna try with a little help from my friends.

Ooh I get by with a little help from my, snide with a little help from my, smack Freddie Phelps with my frie-e-e-e-e-e-e-oo-ends!

19 Replies to “It Was 40 Years Ago Today [Dan Collins]”

  1. Oh, that Jeffy! He’s dreamy!

  2. TheGeezer says:

    The Beatles.

    A sad detour of humanity.

    Imagine there’s no heaven…

  3. B Moe says:

    The presentation was a triumph of packaging…

    I agree totally with that.

  4. N. O'Brain says:

    I hate mines.

  5. N. O'Brain says:

    Errr….mimes.

  6. Dan Collins says:

    Watch out for landmimes.

  7. OK, that did it.

  8. Sean M. says:

    Didn’t Paul McCartney’sex campaign against landmimes?

  9. Dan Collins says:

    Are you saying that’s why he was banging a monopod, Sean?

  10. TheGeezer says:

    Didn’t Paul McCartney’sex campaign against landmimes?

    I know it was an innocent typo, but, dear heaven, I wondered how Mcartney’s sex could campaign against landmines?  (The Jim beam is affecting perception). 

    If I could have sex like that, I’d find something really selfish to enhance it, you know?

  11. TheGeezer says:

    What would you do if I smote a buffoon,

    Would you visit Travelocity?

    Lend me your eyes and I’ll type you haikus,

    And I’ll try not to type out of key.

    May you make a lot of money and have a wonderful life.  What. a. hoot.

  12. I hate that album.

  13. ahem says:

    Started early today, huh?

  14. Blitz says:

    Dan,that was one of the most gobsmackingly funny things I’ve seen yet…keep it up!!!

  15. Blitz says:

    BUT….you forgot the little fella!!! You know,the armored rodent guy…

  16. serr8d says:

    Didn’t have much to say, but couldn’t let this…preternatural…TW go by.

    boys67

  17. Swen Swenson says:

    It Rocks!! Gotta work “Sgt. Pecker” in there somewhere though..

  18. Tom says:

    I refuse to be a conservative if it means dissing the Beatles! Oh and not smoking pot. Everything else, the murdering of brown people and stealing the oil, I’m up with but leave my Beatles alone or I’m out of the movement!

Comments are closed.