In the comments to yesterday’s meta-post post, “Brian T” writes:
You’re just sad now—as tired and irrelevant as your prose.
Perhaps if you went back to your internet tough guy act of slapping people around the face with your virtual cock?
Yes, perhaps—though I’m afraid if it’s you you had in mind, Brian T, you’re going to have to buy me dinner first, and then do a little bit of light dusting. You can begin with the bookshelves.
It’s not that I’m a harsh taskmaster, you understand. Just that I’m no slut.
Since you bring it up, though, I should note that the face of my virtual cock has, like, the sweetest Serpico beard going right now.
And lately it’s been practicing a crooked grin, too. Which, I have to admit, looks a lot less affected now than it did when it first began trying the thing out.
Seems virtual chicks truly dig the crooked grin. At least—if you can believe the word of the face of my virtual cock.
(Reached for comment, my tired prose just yawned, rolled over, and slapped the snooze button with the face of its virtual cock. Which, given that its alarm clock sports the face of “Brian T,” means the circle of irony has been completed rather neatly, I’d say.)
I’ll be gone most of today and tomorrow—today I have to head into Boulder, and tomorrow I have some doctor’s appointments in Denver.
Feel free to hang around and use the TV. But stay out of the crisper.
The ex-agency sugar beets are going through one of their periodic attempts to get off the smack, so the place stinks of beet sweat and waste.
Ewwwww.
But what I want to know is how this Brian dude gets off telling us we’re not relevant. Talk about irrelevant.
I’ve never been relevant; it’s nice to see somebody take notice.
Don’t know why I mention this. Guess it seemed relevant.
Seems like a lot of heavy metaphor for breakfast. Any similes left?
I’m a little pissy this morning that some loser, wake boarding troll absconded with my name.
Jeff, slap him once for me?
Please?
When I started my (seldom updated) blog, most of my visitors were the under-18 children of friends. Is there any justification for linking my site to PW? REMEMBER THE CHILDREN! Of course I linked – It’s Jeff!
Not that it adds to his traffic. I wish that it did.
Don’t get down if people don’t understand you, JG. Not that I understand you either, mind, but I reeeelly like you.
Does that make me a degenerate too? Pleasepleaseplease???
T&T
Oh: best wishes and prayers for your visit to the doctor.
T&T
Well, by association, T&T. But if you’re going to write stuff about . . . the Christian life & strength of character in Jane Eyre . . . you see our problem?
It is tough to pass up the opportunity to give a good mushroom bruise to some ass that really deserves it
His Hamlet stuff is kinda fun:
Dan, happy,
What if I support N. T. Wright’s views of the doctrine of justification, which are causing controversy in the PCA? Is that degenerate enough?
There’s just no pleasing some people.
T&T
T&T:
Justification? Bah! Come round the PCUSA and deal with some of our weighty theological issues!
Of course I’ll completely understand if you run screaming from the “Reimaging God” movement.
Praise Sophia!!!
Better check first to make sure your server can handle the load, T.
On you travels Jeff, does the virtual cock come along?
file this away for future use, ‘Brian T’: Don’t Call It a Comeback.
bitch.
–
Slap on.
Slap off.
Slap on, slap off.
The Slapper.
BJ,
Nah, my interests lie only within the bounds of Christian theology.
T&T
T&T;
Yee-Ouch! That’s gonna leave a mark!
Just checking: Are all of the women still “silent” in the PCA?
If I may offer a little constructive criticism, you pay too much attention to constructive criticism…
BJ,
Are you kidding? Barefoot, maybe, but silent? And none of the women I know want to be called “elder”, either. They’re mostly 39-and-holding.
T&T
T&T;
My E-Mail works so if you want to continue this amusing little Presbyterian Denominational snark fest, write me!
BTW: I think that you are a pretty tallented writer.
My own constructive criticism, by which I mean Lileks’s:
And as he said elsewhere giving advice on how to drive readership away: “You can be joyless, you can be mono-maniacal, but joyless monomania is what does it.”
Are you talking about me, ss?
Because that would just be hurtful.
To me.
Me.
Have you considered hiring Naomi Wolf to teach you how to be an Alpha Male? Or is she busy with the Edwards campaign?
pwned?
pwned.
Jeff,
Your monomania is good, as far as it goes, but it isn’t fevered enough. Please increase the temperature.
On this you’re not bad, but not blathery enough. You have too much substance and require critical thinking. More schlag, please. And Pie.
You have neglected this, lately. What has become of your next-door neighbor? Inveigh against today’s youth more (tatoos, low-riding jeans, rap, whatever), the decline of quality in bookbindings, and people’s negligence at writing thank-you notes.</blockquote>
More stories about Satch!
Denounce the increasing price of soft tortillas.
See, it’s not so hard to make a blog that ss would be proud of.
T&T
And don’t forget the PIE!
So, how big is your virtual cock, anyway? Metaphorically speaking.
I don’t really look around for comparisons, to be honest with you.
But judging by the way certain factions of the blogosphere seem to fixate on the thing, I’d say it carries some heft.
Let’s just say that his back’s right against the truck stop sink when he responds to TBogg.
BECAUSE OF THE GIRTH !
12 inches … around … think about it !
Girth and the shear weight of thing can surely do some damage. Velocity helps as well……
Well, yes, I was addressing you, Jeff. Though I had no intent to really criticize. I meant only to respond to what I perceived as a sense of blog-doom and a seemingly implied inquiry as to the reason for any loss of readership. I’m blushing, and I’m sorry to the extent it wasn’t invited.
I respect your stuff immensely. Truth is, I’ve not been by for awhile, and when I asked myself why, I was reminded of Lileks’ reference.
But maybe it’s not you; maybe it’s me. And maybe I’m representative. Maybe it’s us. I’ve truly taken what you’ve written over the years to heart, and have incorporated your stunningly coherent and cohesive views on intentionalism and identity politics into my own existing personal social/political/legal philosophy.
I find myself applying these ideas to situations everywhere I go. I get it, and it’s disheartening. I see the principles of liberty and individualism and American culture undermined constantly. It’s hard to come by here to see more of your as-always biting commentary on the latest, most egregious example. It hurts. Do you hear that, Jeff? Your shit is so spot-on, it fucking hurts.
Me.
So, owing in significant part to this intellectual structure, especially as it intersects with my own legal background, I’ve considered going back to school for a PhD or something to carry into a new academic career. You know, maybe I could get a clearer, more comprehensive grasp on these ideas, order them, systemize, teach. Make a difference. Like, actually do something besides yell at the TV (metaphorically, these days–of course, I can’t stand to watch TV).
But that’s a pretty daunting project and I can’t imagine who I’d want to study under. Not easy to find sensible mentorship in any political science department in my neck of the woods. And you’re not teaching anywhere. So, shit, right?
But, AoS-HQ, man. That’s like an angry, comedy, clowncar trainwreck. Ace doesn’t make me question whether my life is well-spent. He makes it okay for me to just eat cheetos and yell misinformation at my metaphorical TV. Half the shit he debunks was a parody to begin with. I’m stupider and happier for it. Everybody wins.
(But if you have any insights on some good PS departments, I’d like to hear them.)
It would be nice if you commented more often, ss, I enjoyed reading that.
I don’t think I’ve ever made it through an entire thread at Ace’s, and for sure never at LGF.
Um. I’ve made it through entire threads at AoSHQ. The key is, drink heavily.
Actually, I kinda like the place, but it’s not home.
LGF comments used to be more readable, before it turned into a permanent Flash Crowd…
Dude, what I do when I walk through my U.’s Philosophy Dept. to my lectures is repeat “I am not afraid of you and I will beat your ass” in my head to the accompaniment of a strong bass line and ethnic back beat.
I’ve been shocked by how well this works, as in now I truly fit right in. And now I can also testify to Ward Churchill’s total fraudiness. No friggin’ Native Indian males ever rain dance thier way on campus, it’s always the squaws. Plenty of squaws, fat and pudgy, dithering loaded I-hate-whitey questions. Notwithstanding a few half-blooded chicks who lean toward the effable category, the Native fatties keep me humming my tribal refrain.
ss was one of my favorite commenters, in the olden days.
I appreciate the sentiment, I really do. And I understand the reaction, as well.
Sometimes it pains me to hammer away at some of this stuff yet again. I’d rather be reading Ananova or Fark.
Then people like Cynn show up and remind me that I have some shit left to do.
Which sucks, because I’d rather be watching Bound in a continuous loop.
Wow. Made my day. Thanks.