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“My Dinner with Andre (the Giant)”:  from the protein wisdom conceptual series

me:  “Memory is a slippery thing, you know?  I mean, for Proust, memory was a living dichotomy—either conscious, and owing to human intelligence and the mechanism of directed recall, or else involuntary, born of sensory cues.  Conscious memory, for Proust, could never really capture the essence of the past, given that it was always by nature being mitigated and filtered—and so remains only partial or, at worst, corrupted.  Whereas involuntary memory—brought on by a certain immediacy of sense, like the smell of a bathroom on the on the Champs-Élysées, say—erodes the passage of time that, to our conscious minds, signals memory as memory.  It is, in effect, a psychic wormhole, if you will—specifically in that allows the past to exist in the present. “

Andre (the Giant): “Uh huh.  You seen our waiter?  Because the little man forgot Andre’s corn bread.  And that makes Andre very cranky.”

37 Replies to ““My Dinner with Andre (the Giant)”:  from the protein wisdom conceptual series”

  1. BJTexs says:

    Forget zee cornbread and just bring me zee waiter, n’est pas?

  2. “Sleep, and dream of LARGE women…”

  3. BJTexs says:

    Non, non, I am forgetting! Present zee two waitresses wiz zee tres grande buzzooms and Andre will be forgetting his crankyness. TOUT SUITE!

    Mon memory? Je ne sais pas! ADEIU!

    And zat Proust he was, how you say, light in zee drawers, n’est pas?

  4. Oublier le cornbread. Je suis français ! Je veux une baguette géante de maïs.

  5. happyfeet says:

    (Come in under the shadow of this red rock)

  6. Eric says:

    This should really be “the ghost of Andre”, since he’s been dead for awhile now.  Died at his dad’s funeral – his poor mother!

    Okay, I don’t do the touring word much anymore, but come on, couldnt69?  Story of my life.

  7. JohnAnnArbor says:

    Did he speak of himself in the third person?

    Is speaking of yourself in the second person talking to yourself?

  8. Jeff Goldstein says:

    I didn’t say this just happened, Eric.

    In fact, it wasn’t until I smelled feet that it all came rushing back to me…

  9. Sticky B says:

    It’s my understanding that Andre could really put away the scotch.

    So…….did y’all discuss anything of importance?

  10. Major John says:

    I would not like to be that waiter if Andre remained cranky…

  11. BoZ says:

    on the on the Champs-Élysées, say

    And…jazz hands!

  12. nikkolai says:

    Drank some Falstaffs with Ivan Putski one time….wouldn’t much want to cross him, either.

  13. ThePolishNizel says:

    Ivan Putski!  The Polish Power.  No, you wouldn’t want to cross him, either.

  14. Robert says:

    Wrestling heaven was Florida in the early ‘70’s, maybe a match between Buddy Colt and Mr. Wrestling (Tim Woods), with Gordon Solie calling the action. It didn’t get much better than that.

  15. Dirk Diggler says:

    No, no, no. The best for real wrasslin’ action was the Dallas Sportatorium featuring Chief Wahoo McDaniel and all of those psycho/suicidal von Erik’s…

  16. ken says:

    Spent a wonderful evening drinking dollar beers at the World Famous Sportatorium one evening. I think I enjoyed it.

  17. Vladimir says:

    Do you think the giant ever 69’ed ?

  18. Nick Byram says:

    Since Andre is dead, how about “My Dinner with Arnie?”

    me:  “Memory is a slippery thing, you know?  I mean, for Proust, memory was a living dichotomy—either conscious, and owing to human intelligence and the mechanism of directed recall, or else involuntary, born of sensory cues.  Conscious memory, for Proust, could never really capture the essence of the past, given that it was always by nature being mitigated and filtered—and so remains only partial or, at worst, corrupted.  Whereas involuntary memory—brought on by a certain immediacy of sense, like the smell of a bathroom on the on the Champs-Élysées, say—erodes the passage of time that, to our conscious minds, signals memory as memory.  It is, in effect, a psychic wormhole, if you will—specifically in that allows the past to exist in the present. “

    Ah-nold: (reaches over and grabs) “Shut up or I vill crush your head like a valnut…”

  19. Dewclaw says:

    Did he speak of himself in the third person?

    Is speaking of yourself in the second person talking to yourself?

    The only wrestler who consistantly talks about himself in the third person is The Rock.

    “Now, badass, you run your mouth about Summerslam. Well, here’s the situation. The Rock says this, if the Rock hits you he’ll kill you. If he misses, the wind behind the punch will give you pneumonia and you’ll die anyway, so the choice is yours, jabroni.”—The Rock

  20. Major John says:

    Major John refuses to speak of himself in the third person.

  21. McGehee says:

    Wrestling heaven was Florida in the early ‘70’s

    Bah.

    No, no, no. The best for real wrasslin’ action was the Dallas Sportatorium

    Double bah.

    Big Time Wrestling on TV 40 in Sacramento, announced by Hank Renner and featuring Pepper Martin, Mr. Saito, and Man Mountain Mike. And a couple of Teutonic oxen managed by Gerhard Kaiser.

  22. Pablo says:

    Jack Witschi’s, North Attleboro, MA. Dingy, dirty, overcrowded, filled as much with smoke as with obscenities. Bruno Sammartino, Lou Albano, Ivan Putski, Butcher Vachon, Haystacks Calhoun, Pistol Pete Sanchez, Gorilla Monsoon…and yes, occasionally, Andre.

    Those were the days.

    tw: death21 be not proud

  23. Jeff Goldstein says:

    I was on the same circuit as you, Pablo. Add Chief Jay Strongbow, Killer Kowalski, Superstar Billy Graham, Bob Backlund, Jimmy Superfly Snuka, et al.

    Back when Vince McMahon was still 165 lbs or so.

  24. Dewclaw says:

    AWA matches back in the day were held in the old Denver Coliseum. Greg Gagne and Baron Von Raschke were two of the biggies, along with Black Jack Mulligan.

    Watching 102 year old grannies flipping off 280lb steroid monsters always made me chuckle…

  25. CraigC says:

    Definitely, Jeff and Pablo. All that and watching Blassy whacking guys with his cane. By the way, it’s no wonder the waiter ran off, what with Andre being, you know, dead and all.

  26. Robert says:

    A lot of the names I’ve seen are all just bruisers, content to beat on each other.  Wahoo was one of these, as charismatic as he was, he was all tomahawk chop and little else.  Bruno Sammartino, same sort.  Bob Backlund could actually wrestle.  Haystacks Calhoun? Are you serious?  Why not mention midget wrestlers if you’re going to mention Haystacks?

    Ideally the wrestlers should be in shape, able to last out a 30-minute match, and be able to wrestle, not just beat on each other.  Match should end with a really great submission hold or a sleeper, ideally.  Wrestlers that fit that description: Jack Briscoe, Tim Woods, the Grahams (father and son), The Spoiler, Mil Mascaras.  Hell, Mexican wrestling is a whole league above the US crap.

  27. billhedrick says:

    Betraying my age:

    Verne Gagne in the old St. Paul Armory, rassling the Crusher. Pure gold. One of the first of the modern “Scientific” Wrestlers against the greatest brawler of the time.

  28. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Bruno Sammartino could wrestle.  Oh yes, could he wrestle.

    I remember begging my father to take me to see a movie as a kid that featured pro-wrestlers.  There was a great East meets West scene in it (in a bar?  poolhall?  I can’t remember).  I thinker Professor Toro Tanaka and Mr Fuji were involved. 

    I wish I could find that flick and get it on DVD.  I don’t follow wrestling much anymore.  Too cartoonish for the tastes of one who grew up with the gritty, dirty, low-rent version—though I bet it’s quite enjoyable.

    Grannies braying for blood at the Baltimore Convention Center, where an uncle worked the bell.  Haystacks Calhoun obliging by hitting his opponent with a horseshoe, before having it turned on him.

    And I think it was Killer Kowalski (who could wrestle, also), who ripped an opponents ear off, legend has it.

  29. Dewclaw says:

    There are still some good technical wrestlers out there… I’m not sure they are in the same league with some of the legends listed here, but they have some mad skilz.  Perry Saturn, a former army ranger, is technically sound… and Dean Malenko has a move for just about any situation.

    I tend to agree with Jeff, it is pretty cartoonish these days.  I still enjoy going to the live shows… Kane, The Undertaker and Batista are some really big mofos, and they usually put on a pretty good show.

    Mick Foley (Cactus Jack) also lost his ear in a match to Van Vader in Japan.  That tough SOB finished the match.

  30. Robert says:

    I work as a hotel clerk, and actually met Mr. Fuji.  He checked into my hotel with a Samoan wrestler, and they each got a separate room.  Next morning Mr. Fuji was down in the lobby early, waiting for his taxi to the airport.  He was in his English banker’s outfit with a green t-shirt instead of the usual dress shirt.  As the time drew near for the taxi to arrive, I grew concerned, thinking that the Samoan wouldn’t be down in time.

    “Mr. Fuji, do you want me to call your wrestler and make sure he’s on the way down?” I asked.

    Mr. Fuji looked at me and shook his head. “He’s a big boy,” he told me. “If he’s not down here in time, fuck him.”

    Ya gotta love an attitude like that.

    The Samoan made it down in time.

  31. Robert says:

    Here’s a link to a World Title Match between Buddy Colt and Jack Briscoe, unfortunately without Gordon Solie calling the action:

    http://www.brightcove.com/title.jsp?title=507843455

  32. Jeff Goldstein says:

    I have looked all over IMDB and I simply cannot find that 70s wrestling movie.

    I didn’t imagine it.  I don’t think. Unless I was hitting the red pills earlier than I remember.

  33. Dewclaw says:

    The earliest movie that Prof Tanaka was in was An Eye for an Eye (1981) .

    Is that the one, Jeff?

  34. Dewclaw says:

    There is also this movie…. but it was made in 1987

    BODY SLAM

    This movie is very funny. It has a great cast of famous Wrestlers from the 70s and 80s. Bruno Samartino, Rick Flair, Freddie Blassie, The Sheik, Capt. Lou Ablano, The Samonans, The Towers Of Pain, Roddy Pipper, and a few more. Overall the plot isn’t that interesting, and some parts are kind of dumb, but it is all worth it for the ending. At the end the legendary Chick Hern gets to announce tag team championship title match. Chick did an amazing job announcing that wrestling match. That just proves how Chick Hern is the best announcer of all time. No other sports announcer can call a professional wrestling match that good. I would even watch snails race if Chick Hern was the announcer. Plus also the famous baseball announcer Harry Carry was in it too. This movie is a must see for all fans of 80s Wrestling or for fans of the Lakers.

    Not seeing a whole lot of wrestling movies in the 70’s, “Brother”.  wink

  35. Luscious Lars Anderson says:

    Damm Dawg! Ya’ll got me strairgt trippin’!

  36. there are lots of vacation packages out there but choose the ones coming from reputable companies`”`

  37. our vacation package comes the local travel agent which gives us cheap deals`*”

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