While I’m nobody’s grillmaster general, I’m hoping that my new Blue Ember gas grill—complete with infrared rotisserie function and smoker box—will allow me spin a pig in such a way that I will no longer be ashamed to invite my Samoan / Hawaiian friends over for dinner.
Which, in addition to healing a lot of old social wounds, will almost certainly keep us up to our flowered necklaces in poi and grilled pineapple…
Poi, oh poi.
Is it suckling? It’s best if it’s suckling.
Poi Dog Pondering. One of my faves.
NB: I have a lot of faves. Not sure what that means61 about me.
Pig roasted on a spit? I thought Hawaiians buried theirs in a pit like their North Carolinian forebears.
Any carbon offsets involved here?
Do you get any credit(s) for generating less pollution than Al Gore’s private jet?
Grass grill? Can you smoke weed in that thing?
In my ute, we used to burn the dead grass from the yard in the spring. But, they banned that because of the smoke. I bet the smoke has a lot of CO2 and other nasty stuff in it, and Jeff will have to buy carbon offsets to run his “grass grill”.
True story:
I lived in a neighborhood in Arlington, Texas, that had a rather eclectic mix of folks living in it. They people to one side of right behind my house were Tongans, a whole lot of them in a 1500-square-foot-ish house, and every few months they’d have a pig roast. First iteration, unmodified by any inconvenient local ordinances:
1) Purchase live pig.
2) Transport pig into back yard and slaughter it.
3) Dig deep hole in back yard.
4) Prepare pig for roasting, removing entrails, skin, and other inconvenient bits.
5) Place the less tasty portions of the above in the hole, and backfill.
6) Find a long, straight, stout branch on a tree and remove it. Sharpen one end and debark (optional).
7) Skewer pig on prepared branch. If pig doesn’t cooperate, raise partially skewered pig to a vertical orientation and give the branch a number of good whacks on the ground until the pig slides far enough down on the skewer.
8) Dig another hole in the back yard, eight feet long or so, and a few feet deep. Throw in a lot of firewood.
9) Ignite firewood, and let coals form.
10) Suspend skewered pig over coals, and roast. Turn as needed, while dousing self-interiors liberally with Pabst.
11) Enjoy!
In company with Pablo, I am given to doubt somewhat that a grass grill would produce enough heat for efficient pig-roasting. As an alternative, as I said the other night, if you’ve got the time I’ve got the mesquite. You can even borrow my chain saw.
It also might be worth your time to peruse the archives of Hog on Ice and Babalublog, paying attention to the concept of a “caja de china”. The pit method is somewhat firewood-intensive, and, as Slart’s Arlington neighbors no doubt discovered, is generally deprecated in urban areas. Technology to the rescue.
Regards,
Ric
Gas? For a pig?
You’ll never get the flavor you want without charcoal or wood.
Does you grill have room for a smoke tray, to place wood chips in? That’s a good way to get the best of both worlds.
Jeff.. this sounds a little fishy. I thought this latest plea was for a new computer, and now you come home with a grill? I question the timing
I dunno seems reasonable to me, it is spring next week and it was either a grass grill or a lawnmower I guess…
The HOA is gonna love you…. send the Samoans over to deal with ‘em if the HOA gives you any crap.
tw: case47
Which is three short of how many you will need to buy
Ah, pork… I have given up pork for Lent this year. But I’ll have my own pig-party on Easter. Too bad there’s no Hawaian girls around here tho.
Mmm…roast pork at Jeff’s….hey. WAIT A MINUTE:
Never heard of kosher roast pig.
/s
Enjoy!
I thought about getting one of those combo computer-grills, but then I though, yeah, the multifunction thing is cool, but if it has to get fixed, then I’ll be without both a computer and a grill for a while.
Charcol all the way for me.
Hey, Jeff, why dion’t you have a recipe thread some time?
I dream of pork.
Not because I am a member of Congress.
I get gout.
Really bad.
Mmmmmm, pork. Over a grass grill yet. Can I come stand downwind?
TW: quite73. Yeah, it was a lot cheaper then.
Hey, will the armadillo fit inside that grill? I mean, if all he does is eat your food and refuse to dance, maybe you can have a Sunday BBQ, with him as the guest of honor.
Ease up on the ‘dillo hatin. He also consumes massive quantities of recreational pharmaceuticals and drinks to excess. You make it sound like he’s some sort of two-trick pony. Mmm, pony…
I’ve never seen a grass grill. Is there room in there to roast a pony? How ‘bout a pwndy?
Assuming that is, in fact, a gas grill, I have to ask why. If you are going to cook on a gas flame, you might as well just use the kitchen stove.
That’s not dillo hating, that’s dillo loving.
Mmmmmmm…..’dillo!
BECAUSE OF THE LEPROSY!!!!
We were able to get the grill with Amex points. Which tells you a bit about my credit card debt…
Re: computer. Turns out that Vista doesn’t run shit on the very computers that have it loaded: webcam, nyet; cd drive, no; sleep function?—now the improper shutdown, would you like to restart it safe mode function.
I returned the HP I just bought. I’m using a 12” PowerMac for the time being (thanks, Bob!), because the guys at the Geek squad said it will be “about 6 months” before Vista functions with the computers it comes loaded on.
I’m hoping by then that Mac will be out with its new MacPro with improved battery time and screen, and maybe even loaded with Leopard.
Microsoft just made my choice for me. The bitches.
Rule number 1: never buy a Microsoft operating system until at least the fifth Service Pack is out.
Yeah, slart, but there’s a definitional issue: is this Vista 1.0 (0.7.9, more like) or NT version 9?
And five service packs may be a good rule of thumb, but isn’t necessary. My Win2000 was reasonably useful after SP2.
Regards,
Ric
Me, I’m planning to install Linux on one of my spare bugboxes.
Lemme know if you want an XP Pro SP2 install DVD, Jeff.
I, uh, know some people.
Yeah, that’s it…
SB: the boys22
Thanks for the Vista review. I too must find a couple new ‘puters in the next few months and I think I’ll stick with Windows XP. I haven’t heard anything good about Vista.
When you do the pig don’t forget to invite the giant Samoan attorney, you definitely want to keep him happy. And be sure you use a good backstop when you start shootin’ the .44, as will inevitably happen at such functions.
TW: normal11. You know, I really resent that fairly accurate assessment of my mental age!
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