From the bloodthirsty faux-Democrat’s covertly Zionist-flavored editorial in the WSJ:
Congress […] faces a choice in the weeks and months ahead. Will we allow our actions to be driven by the changing conditions on the ground in Iraq—or by the unchanging political and ideological positions long ago staked out in Washington? What ultimately matters more to us: the real fight over there, or the political fight over here?
Uh, asked and answered, Jooooe. See, eg., Murtha, John; Levin, Carl; Pelosi, Nancy; “slow bleed”; “exit strategy,” et al.
[…]
We are at a critical moment in Iraq—at the beginning of a key battle, in the midst of a war that is irretrievably bound up in an even bigger, global struggle against the totalitarian ideology of radical Islamism. However tired, however frustrated, however angry we may feel, we must remember that our forces in Iraq carry America’s cause—the cause of freedom—which we abandon at our peril.
Oh, come now, Jooooe! Iraq has nothing to do with the war on terror!—and even if it does, that’s Bush’s fault, for inviting all those terrorists in. So if we lose, it’s Bush’s loss. And if we win—which we cannot do (unless, perhaps, we can move the troops to Okinawa and let the savages slaughter each other, then come sweeping in afterwards for figs and oil and the other battlefield spoils)—we will have “won” an elective, imperialist war that has caused us to squander the genuine goodwill that countries like France and Russia and Belgium and Germany had cultivated for us after our citizens jumped from rooftops or were vaporized in jet liner crashes.
True, that goodwill evaporated when we got up and started talking smack—that gauche “cowboy” stuff that nobody but the Italians seem to countenance (and even then, only when Sergio Leone is involved to legitimize it) really cost us some valuable friends, who, let’s face it, would have commisserated with us as long as we needed them to—so you see, by fighting back, we’ve only weakend our position, and strengthened the position of the Islamists. Had we simply wagged our finger at them and threatened the use of force, we may never have had to use it.
After all, works for the UN, right?
The point being, you need to learn to be the victim, Jooooe—the Palestinian kind, not the Israeli kind—and you’ll get along just fine. Because nothing tugs the heartstrings quite like the plight of the bloodied victim. But the truth is, all this military adventurism—this “cycle of violence” you keep advocating for, where we use tanks rather than talks—ruined that whole “victim” vibe we had going, and will, in the end, just create more terrorists, anyway.
So really, best just to kick that particular can down the road, shore up our ports, keep the borders open only to Mexican migrant labor dreaming the American dream, and develop that universal healthcare model we’ve been promising (without letting people know that we’ll be modeling it after those army hospitals whose conditions we’re now OUTRAGED over). We should probably raise taxes, too, while we’re at it—for the children.
And don’t you worry. Eventually, another Republican president will be (s)elected, and he or she can do the dirty work of fighting wars. Which is no big deal, because we can always print up a bunch more of those “Not in Our Name!” placards and hope that Ed Asner is still alive to make the talkshow rounds—then use the press to peddle our OUTRAGE over said war, which no doubt we’ll be misled into.
Really. Don’t you read your email, buddy?
Viva la (non-binding) Resolution(s)!
(h/t Terry Hastings)
****
update: And you people thought I was doing parody. Tsk tsk.
So a Jewish “Democrat” thinks the Iraq war is worth fighting and winning. So that means it might be true?
That’s like saying that when a baby is born at 22 weeks and survives, it means that it was really a baby to begin with.
Hey Captain Kneejerk.
Finally, a plan from the left! Thanks, Jeff. I’ve been looking for that.
This link is better because it’s free.
Lieberman says, Petraeus needs until Labor Day. I can wait. I’m not sure the nation as a whole can or will.
Don’t equivocate on the matter, jeff. Take a stand.
Ok, I missed that one.
So a baby born at 22 weeks that survives “was not” a baby or is it in that a baby that was born at 22 weeks and dies is a baby?
Clue me in to where you were going with that, please.
Sounds like he’s saying that a baby is like a war, once you start it you should finish it.
I guess.
Not sure if that’s the happiest of comparisons.
Rob B, this little lady was born at a gestational period that would have allowed for her to be aborted in 49 states.
And, as we’re so often told, abortion isn’t killing a baby.
I’m just saying that just because an entity comes out of woman’s vagina at 22 weeks and survives as a human baby once, don’t go thinking that all blobs in the uterous are babies.
Warning: Not for the weak of stomach.
P.S. Sarcasm is my only hobby
Thanks for the cover Pablo.
Pablo: I agree that abortion is (obviously) a form of homicide. Some tiny cell cluster that might be used to keep Michael J. Fox from shaking is not the same as a fetus farther down the line. That seems obvious to me, but maybe not to others.
By the same token I am reconciled to choice in terms of law because to do otherwise is to invade privacy in a way that I would not like. I do think it’s noteworthy however that our supposedly degenerate relatives in Europe have no problem in limiting abortion, while we cannot seem to establish any limits at all. That’s troubling.
If a woman doesn’t want a baby, she will usually find a way to not have it. That’s just the way it is.
I have been know to employ psyops with my yungins.
“And, as we’re so often told, abortion isn’t killing a baby.”
See the pictures and decide for yourself. Myself, I call it murder. If this baby survives, how will this change anything? After all it is a fight to control a woman’s uterus, isnt it?
Holy shit! Once again I’ve knocked a title off it’s rails with my lame analogy.
I just wanted to point out that facts mean absolutely nothing to people who refuse to believe them. I used the 22 week baby as an example of people who see a baby survive being born at 22 weeks and still do not believe that a week ago it was a baby.
It’s like people who know there are positive things happening in Iraq, but they are invested in only negative news coming out of that region.
I trust you won’t tell Mr. Goldstein what I’ve done. He’d kill me.
“I trust you won’t tell Mr. Goldstein what I’ve done. He’d kill me.”
He might not. How many weeks along are you?
Judging from the development of my penis, I’d say 16 or 17 maybe?
…….and thusly all your small penis jokes are rendered impotent. Checkmate, my friends…..checkmate.
Which is bowdlerization of Shah mat’, Persian for “The King is Dead”
See? Now we’re right back in Iraq where we started!
(Unless someone starts with Elvis)
Question: If having out troops in Iraq created more terrorists there, why does Jack “surrender cake” Murtha hate Okinawa?
lee, Okinawa is strategically located near the Middle East, that’s why.
All you need to do to reinforce the Iraqis is to overfly the utterly inconsequential countries of China, Russia, and India and just 14 short hours you can bomb anyone over there.
Literally tens of troops can be quickly shuttled to Iraq at any given moment.
I like how Lieberman picks up Murtha’s “undermining” and puts it to good use here – a word that was conspicuously absent from the Washington Post article yesterday.
In an otherwise futile attempt to prempt the coming troll avalanche on this topic, here’s a recent quote from that bugaboo of the Left Dick Cheney:
So Lefties…in 25 words or less, why is he wrong?
The thing is, the troops will get bogged down in Okinawa, what with all the terrorists springing up there like Poppys in the spring. Within a few years, all the wealthy Okinawians will be fleeing to taiwon and Korea. We will only transfer the QUAGMIRE!tm to another place.
And that’s just irresponsible.
I bleieve it would start off like this:”…because of the cost, we’ve lost!!!”
Now the cost of healthcare, the sky’s the limit – especially if you are here illegally, it’s free!
Easy. Al Qaeda’s strategy is actually to make America invade the Middle East and thus reveal its imperialist self to the world. Then-overstretched-American forces can be defeated.
See, the circle is squared.
SGT,
HALLIBURTON!!
lee,
Maybe we should redeploy them to Maine, then. As a bonus, the eventual trip back to Iraq would be a little shorter.
Anyone know if the Maineians hate us?
How about Alaska?
It’s not that much further, and everyone knows ragheads can’t stand the cold.
If we’re so concerned about Al Qaeda in Iraq, why do we keep clearing paths through the Shiite militias for their suicide bombers, SGT?
Sorry, it took so long to get back but that was one of the times I was actually asking a snark free question.
I know, poor internet form, but I’m on a lot of flu meds today.
That’s simple! The engineering for the Mile High Dirt Bermsâ„¢ is still in development due to the recent funding increases in Medicare to cover undocumented workers.
Call somebody, Alphie, and free up the money for those berms!!!
Don’t look now, but Gleen’s got a hit piece out on Lieberman that takes him to task for . . . dishonesty.
As usual, it is couched in the language of the symbolic: The Iraq Tragedy in a Nutshell.
Okinawa is having us redeploy some of our troops to Guam.
Next thing you know, we’ll redeploy to California. Imagine that, American troops in San Francisco. Who would have thought?
As I grumble my way through Wesley Clark’s grand self-pat on the back, “Waging Modern War” [obsolete before the first drop of ink hit the first page!] I have to laugh because he was talking about how the UN wasn’t doing #$%& in Bosnia and only a large tough force, ready to fight and use force at the discretion of the commanders on the scene would be the solution….
Now? He’s been HuffPo’d.
Why do I find myself wishing well to a Senator that is 95% of the time on the opposite side of the fence from me politically? ‘cause the 5% we agree on is dead serious and outweighs what he thinks of the rest…strange bedfellows and all that.
GG’s bio sounds like Ricke Ellensberg –
The comedy writes itself.
TW: All this, from GG’s cute little air-conditioned office29.
Is that, like, a joke?
Do you find it impenetrable?
Sorry, BJ.
Was it impolite to point out that it’s not just a few hundred Sunni terrorists called Al Qeada in Iraq that want us to leave?
Poor 5D Dick and Joementum are trying to keep our troops in Iraq against the wishes of a vast majority of Iraqis (and a majority of Americans, too).
I think they better hire beter writers if they want to keep the play going.
Heh
No, but it was impolite not to jump on board The Mile High Dirt Bermâ„¢ express and free up that capital! We only have to build them a 1/4 mile high in Iraq. Help make the vision a reality!
Or we could invite the Russians in as they do all of the heavy lifting in wars.
Options, I tells ya, we have options!!
There’s a difference, alphie, in leaving because the Iraqis are ready to kick their ass themselves and leaving because a bunch of pussies think we should surrender.
“Poor 5D Dick and Joementum are trying to keep our troops in Iraq against the wishes of a vast majority of Iraqis (and a majority of Americans, too). “
So, we’re back to foreign policy by opinion poll? How many times have you been handed your head for trying this piece of stupidity?
The American Revolution never had popular support from the beginning to its end. Neither did our incursions in the Balkans.
What’s your exit strategy there Alphie?
Blue,
Select Modify > Ungroup
We’re talking about two different things here.
Keep pushing an unpopular foreign policy on America and you eventually get voted out of office (see: last Novemeber).
Keep pushing an unpopular foreign policy on a foreign country and you get an insurgency and you undermine the puppet government you set up there.
My exit strategy?
Pull all our troops out of Iraq today.
Simple, cheap and a guaranteed 100% chance of success.
A winner!
Today? Today??!
We haven’t even started the load tests for the Bermsâ„¢! I thought that you were a visionary, someone who could think outside the box!
Whirled PeasWorld peace is just at our fingertips, but you were never committed to the process, were you?I guess we should just toss the Balloon Fence Missile Sheildâ„¢ as well. I’m so disenchanted…
You guys need a new ad agency.
Al Qaeda wants you to drink Pepsi.
Drink Coke, or the terrorists have won.
*yawn*
Maybe you should sign the Trunk Monkey.
Comedy Gold, Jerry!
Bzzzzzt.
Wrong Answer.
Sorry, this isn’t Jeopardy, no putting the answer in the form of a question.
The original question still stands.
Alphie:
We can’t leave Iraq today beacuse we won’t have time to take all of the shipping crates,
Because we all know what comes in shipping crates. Don’t we?
“Success”…
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Trying to pull his head out of his ass?
So Lefties…in 25 words or less, why is he wrong?
BECAUSE OF TEH QUAGMIRE!!!
Really since when did “talking about two different things†ever stop our precious little “a†ever from opening his mouth or submitting a comment? I mean, whether it’s his “historical†perspective, divorced from actual history, his “militaristic†view, that not only disregards military techniques, history or the actual opinions of members currently in the military or his insistence to turn ever thread, regardless of the topic on hand, towards our inventible loss in Iraq… has he ever made a point?
Yes, little “a†we get the fact you are against the War in Iraq & yet you still cannot mount one worthwhile point, historical parallel or show even a meager understanding of the local politics in the Middle East to further your agenda or substantiate your position. However, we do understand that regardless of the topic on-hand, the facts on the ground or opinions expressed here, you will show up, again & again, be contrary & add absolutely nothing to the conversation – but only possibly a way to derail anything significant related to the post we are all actually commenting on.
Why would we ever accept anything regarding your opinion of the world, when you can’t even be bothered the cognitive work of forming a “world-view†or broaching a subject that doesn’t immediately boil down to our defeat in Iraq? To call you a one trick pony implies you have a talent or a trick worth repeating, when you only have ever shown yourself to be nothing more than a highly functioning idiot savant who can only allow or defend one misguided, uneducated, historically inaccurate stance towards one subject.
Since we all know you don’t support the war, are against the US military being there & want to pull the troops immediately, why bother to ever comment here again?
historical parallel, PMain?
We pulled out of Vietnam and things worked out just fine. They’re even our pals now.
The British pulled out of India and that turned out okay, too.
And, of course, the British pulled out of America, and you know how that turned out.
Colonization is so out of style.
The right doesn’t need a new ad agency, it needs a makeover.
We pulled out of Vietnam and things worked out just fine. They’re even our pals now.
The British pulled out of India and that turned out okay, too.
And, of course, the British pulled out of America, and you know how that turned out.
Colonization is so out of style.
The right doesn’t need a new ad agency, it needs a makeover.
Not a History major I take it?
Real history or wingnut history, Rusty?
Are you saying we’d be better off if we were still under British rule?
Are you saying Vietnam would be better off if the war had continued nonstop for the past 32 years?
The Indians would be happier if they were still colonists, maybe?
Maybe you could ‘splain it all to me.
Take care, ladies. Millions died after Vietnam. Millions died after the British left India. And of course the Evil Empire of the US annhilated the natives.
Still want to play the history game?
In answer to your question, alphie, I’m sure there are millions of people (now tens of millions that were never born) that would be happier alive than maggot meat.
“Real history or wingnut history, Rusty?
Are you saying we’d be better off if we were still under British rule?
Are you saying Vietnam would be better off if the war had continued nonstop for the past 32 years?
The Indians would be happier if they were still colonists, maybe?
Maybe you could ‘splain it all to me.”
Nobody’s saying it al-fi, and once again, no I don’t beat my wife, however much you’re implying it. Apparently, all history is wingnut history in your view since you have yet to demonstrate any grasp of it. I’d really be curious to know what “real” history constitutes in your non-worldview. On second thought, don’t tell me. But let’s go ahead and deconstruct what you wrote above, just for argument’s sake.
“We pulled out of Vietnam and things worked out just fine. They’re even our pals now.” Well, I’d agree that they seem to be doing reasonably well now that they’re starting to adopt more liberal economic policies. And I’d say that it’s a good thing that they don’t appear to hold much of a grudge concerning our involvement there. That said, they’re still an oppressive Communist state. And oh yeah, there’s that whole thing where millions of Southeast Asians were murdered, imprisoned, and forced to flee following the Communist takeover. Of course, in your view, that probably wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t been there in the first place, right? Moving on…
“The British pulled out of India and that turned out okay, too” Well I’d say India seems to be doing well; Pakistan, not so much. Which you know, used to be a part of India under the British. Of course, since independence both countries have fought three wars with each other that have cost millions of lives. Both countries are still armed to the teeth, with nukes, one of whom is a military dictatorship on the edge of falling under the control of Islamist nuts who DESPERATELY want said nukes in their possession. Did I mention they’ve been on the brink of war twice more in the last few years, most recently in 2002? Yeah, alphie, things are just fucking ducky there.
“And, of course, the British pulled out of America, and you know how that turned out.” And by your tone you sound none too pleased with that.
“The Indians would be happier if they were still colonists, maybe? Maybe you could ‘splain it all to me.” Apparently not, since I would first have to ‘splain to you the distinction between colonist and colonized.
Like I said little “a” is nothing more than an one hit wonder, though one who has never managed to obtain a hit, make a point or go beyond his monothematic, reactionary approach. If your views are indeed representative of your side of the aisle or of the political calculus needed to obtain your support, this might explain why you are comfortable w/ settling for never actually making a point in the first place, bothering w/ understanding the points of others that you are reciting or using historical references that mean nothing close to what you believe vs. what they really show. In your world, no war supported by the Republicans is justifiable or winnable, that success can only be won through humiliation of the US military, victory is the spoils given to a beaten enemy by with-drawing & history is nothing more than the summation of tales that expand whatever particular political end you have decided upon in advance & defined solely by assuming an adversarial voice/stance.
I’m a Republican, PMain.
Don’t go hiding neocon imcompetence behind some ideological veil.
I’m against the Iraq war because it’s being run by morons, not because I’m against war itself.
aaaaaand add another vote for monkeyboy.
If I’m gonna have to keep replacing irony meters two or three times a day, I’m gonna have to start buying them at the dollar store.
Get out of my party!
And that explains why they keep on breaking. My ironometer is stainless steel; it can take a throbbing beatdown. That Chinese-made junk don’t last a minute when you are slogging through the satire swamps.
Buy ‘Murikan. McGehee
You should’a said “I’m Napolean”.
Would have been more believable.
Engaging in a little identity politics, lee?
No alphie, it’s just that on every post you have commented on, you have taken the position contrary to republicans. Not once have I ever seen you write anything positive about the right side of the isle.
Just because you sport a pseudonym, doesn’t mean no one can see where you’re coming from.
Lieberman is a Democrat, lee.
Not anymore alphie.
As with actus, I have come to the sad conclusion that alphie just isn’t worth Jeff’s bandwidth…
What was the straw that broke the camel’s back?
Oy. Well, that and the “I’m a Republican” whopper.
And the “run by morons” – Which JCS personnel, DA, DoD, folks would those be? Of course, I forget that alphie is smarter, more experienced and better trained than any of the damned fools I ever served with. LTG Olsen? Moron. All those retards in the 3/116th INF – dolts! The whole 10th Mountain DIV, SETAF and the 25th ID? IDIOTS! If only alphie could lead us. Begone Petreaus!
Major John:
We’ve seen this all before in several other zombie forms. alphie/Neville/monkeyboy exists to fling his poo, declare expertise in the most inane way and ask pseudo provocative questions just for the fun of riling up the ‘thugs.
alphie a republican? I don’t think so!
He is a liar, intellectually bankrupt and fact challenged. I haven’t forgotten when (in his monkeyboy incarnation) he challenged you as to how many patrols you had made in Afghanistan. He is the stuff that that pitchers clean from their spikes with popsicle sticks.
He should stick to engineering Mile High Dirt Bermsâ„¢ and Balloon Fence Missile Shieldsâ„¢, leaving the policy discussions to those that possess more than a 6th grade understanding of history, government and economics.
At least until the Chinese overrun LA from the shipping containers…