Police say a man sought revenge against his ex-girlfriend by leaving homemade DVDs of her performing sex acts on car windshields throughout the area.
The DVDs include the woman’s name, address and phone number.
I know I’m going to be accused of blaming the victim, but what was she doing performing sex acts on car windshields throughout the area?
That’ll show her how wrong she was to break up with him, huh? That’ll show her how much he cares. Certainly, that will attract new women to help him get over it. This is like trying to scorch someone by self-immolation. Really, it’s like accidentally Googlebombing yourself, only felonious.
What. A. Loser.
UPDATE: More unsolicited DVDs.
Meanwhile, beyond the looking glass . . .
Wow. Some kind of bizarre windshield fetish, I guess, huh? Wonder what kind of sex acts the little minx was performing.
Gotta be real limber, is my take.
If this lousy site would take photos, I could show you. It’s called “the windscreen-wiper” and only a certain class of Russian can carry it off.
I went out to try it and got a nasty windshield wiper injury and a “wax on, wax off” rash….. maybe John Edwards would like to see it; professionally of course.
Next time I’ll try it with the wife.
Speaking of the John Edwards videogift, I would be tempted to transcribe the ongoing ‘conversation between John Edwards and the people of Iowa’, only Jeff could do it better. I can’t get any further than:
John Edwards: “Hi! I’m John Edwards!”
The People of Iowa:
John Edwards: “ How’s it going?”
The people of Iowa:
John Edwards: “Well, so long!”
The People of Iowa:
The People of Iowa: “That’s something I hope we don’t see every day for the next 22 months.”
This story supports one of my primary premises about life its ownself, and that is that in this day and age it is possible to achieve adulthood without having suffered enough asswhuppins in order to know how to act. Obviously this guy needs about 40 whacks from head to toe with an axe handle. He’d think twice before he secretly videoed the next girlfriend in action and thrice before indiscrimantly releasing it.
I know, I know. Y’all thought I was talking about Silky Pony there for a while.
The People of Iowa: “Nice hair, though…”
That’s great, furriskey.
“Wiper? But we weren’t even doing that.”
Let’s just boil down Edward’s interaction with Iowa and save some time:
Edwards: “My new new Universal Health plan will provide opportunity for all…”
Iowa: “Excuse me!”
Edwards: “… I was just talking about…”
Iowa: “Yea, whatever. How do you feel about ethanol?”
Edwards: […]
Iowa: “Too hard a question fer ya, pretty boy?”
Edward: “Well, um, ah, I believe in alternative fuels…”
Iowa: “For or against?”
Edwards:’ Ah, well, I’m for ethanol and other cleab bur…”
Iowa: “Great! Thanks for coming! NEXT!!!”
Ah, how romantic.
A honeymoon on the (Buick) Riviera.
Nominated for Best in Thread.
We wanted a honeymoon like that, but we couldn’t afFORD it.
My new bride wanted to move fast, but I tried to PACE’r.
Alas, it ended badly. I caught a…bug.
Always remember your Jimmy
It’s good to see you were paying attention to your English teacher.