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variations on a theme:  The “an ordinary clock glimpsed in its moment of brief Democratic Party awakening” post (from the protein wisdom conceptual series)

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“We, like, sooo totally love the troops!  Honestly.  But the truth is, if you love something, you have to set it free.  If it comes back to you, it was meant to be.  And if doesn’t, well, that’s because it was never really anything more than a collection of uneducated minority dead-enders pumped up on testosterone and then brainwashed by the military industrial complex to act as vicious killbots in the service of hypernationalist dogma and a revolting tendency toward imperialism—precisely the reason the US has lost its moral authority, and why the rest of the world hates us.

Well, that, and the repulsive proliferation of McDonalds and Disney –”

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44 Replies to “variations on a theme:  The “an ordinary clock glimpsed in its moment of brief Democratic Party awakening” post (from the protein wisdom conceptual series)”

  1. Mark says:

    I knew it! Trans-Fat and Mickey Mouse must be banned immediately. A Murtha/Kucinich bill waiting to happen!

  2. Gray says:

    Must be a white baby-boomer clock with a bald spot, glasses and a goatee, with a fat retirement and a fat bitchy wife with a dog-chewed-on-it haircut….

    TW:  He will never be free38 of the stigma of being a draft dodger….

  3. OHNOES says:

    The worst part of it all is imagining a NON-brief Democratic Party awakening…

    Eugh.

  4. Sticky B says:

    And porn. Don’t forget the porn.

  5. The Entire Fucking Internet says:

    Shut up you unfunny moron.

  6. Jeff Goldstein says:

    “The Entire Fucking Internet” is being played by the same actor who previously appeared here in the following roles:  AJB, Ratko Mladic, Unserious, and HenryKrinkle (though is the email address he leaves most frequently).  His IP resolves to Pennsauken NJ.

    Not sure what exit that is, but then, who the fuck cares?

  7. Jeff Goldstein says:

    END OF MARCH!  CIRCLE YOUR CALENDARS IN PENNSAUKEN, NJ, TOO!

  8. Gray says:

    Penisucken, NJ?

    I’m sure I’m not the first to make that joke….

    After all, I’m Mr. Low Hanging Fruit.  Sergeant Low Hanging Fruit part time….

  9. shocked says:

    “The Entire Fucking Internet” is being played by the same actor who previously appeared here in the following roles:  AJB, Ratko Mladic, Unserious, and HenryKrinkle (though is the email address he leaves most frequently).  His IP resolves to Pennsauken NJ.

    Dude, have you no Online Integrity (in addition to being an unfunny moron and a paste-eating chickenhawk)?

  10. Scott Crawford says:

    Not sure what exit that is, but then, who the fuck cares?

    Take it from me; New Jersey is a great place to be from.

    Far away from.

  11. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Mmmm.  Chicken.

    Mmmm.  Paste.

    Mmmm.  Online Integrity.

    Mmmm.

  12. Some Guy in Chicago says:

    Speaking of Mmmm…

    As a kid I was always told kissing a smoker was like kissing an ashtray.  I always took that to mean kissing a smoker is gross and ashy.  After this weekend, it’s clear that ashtrays are the sexxor.

  13. Did you know Pennsauken is an indian word for “industrial park”?

  14. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Hunh. I always thought it was the Indian word for “Skittle Ball.”

  15. Pablo says:

    Dude, have you no Online Integrity…

    Here we have the pot calling the refrigerator black.

    “It’s your fault I’m an ill-mannered douchebag!”

  16. Scott Crawford says:

    No, LMC, I thought it was the indian word for “petroleum distillation”.

  17. I kid you not.  It’s situated on picturesque “Route 130” which is an indian word for “when this road floods, you will understand why your Italian uncle told you never to flush condoms”.

  18. cjd says:

    “Ratko Mladic”

    Or, Jeff, it’s your fault I chose the name of a murderous, genocidal Serbian pr*ck as one of my many nomme de guerres.  Must be all about the ironicalness…then again, what do I know, I’m just a Chimpymchitlerhallichickenhawkibot.

  19. McGehee says:

    Dude, have you no Online Integrity[?]

    Because one’s right to impersonate the entire fucking internet is unalienable, but a blog’s OWNER’S right to police his site and blow a troll’s cover? Well, I have just two words to say to that: “Geneva Conventions.”

  20. Scott Crawford says:

    Pennsauken will always be jealous of Cherry Hill.  Because of the cherrys, of course.

  21. Scott,

    The Indian Word for “petroleum distillation” is either “Paulsboro” or IROC.

  22. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Go easy, fellas. If you were stuck in Pennsauken NJ reading Atrios all the time and dreaming of life outside being an extra in a Kevin Smith movie that will never, ever come your way, you’d be a bit pissy, too, I bet.

  23. Scott Crawford says:

    Scott,

    The Indian Word for “petroleum distillation” is either “Paulsboro” or IROC.

    ROTFLMAO!

  24. Kevin Smith wouldn’t even go to Pennsauken.  Unless he needed to get a new Jethro Tull cocaine mirror from the Mart.

  25. wishbone says:

    Go easy, fellas.

    Good one.

    Oh, Verc–if you’re out there, Jeff says to go easy on this particular douchebag.

  26. Scott Crawford says:

    I’m stuck in Massachusetts, reading you all the time and dreaming of life as a voiceover for a (who the @$*! is Kevin Smith?) movie that will never, ever come my way, and I’m a software engineer.

    Oh, never mind. [/EmilyLatella]

  27. wishbone says:

    you’d be a bit pissy, too, I bet.

    ….

    I’m a software engineer.

    Potato…pahtahto…

    smile

  28. Scott Crawford says:

    That’s just cruel, wishbone.  If I were a Unix engineer, that would be funny.  As it is, it’s just cruel. (And the emoticons don’t seem to work in FireFox.) wink

  29. wishbone says:

    BTW–the entire internet seemingly is located in a place that brags about being nowhere at all

  30. Mark says:

    …dreaming of life outside being an extra in a Kevin Smith movie that will never, ever come your way, you’d be a bit pissy, too, I bet.

    Nah not pissy, though I did tend bar in a bar that made it into a scene of a Smith movie, I was some 20 years too early on to have made an exta appearance though. Oh, and I bought the Sunday papers at that little convenience store as well!

    Still, despite Pennsauken (which is really south Jersey and no one knows how to get there anyway), despite Smith, despite “super sites,” it turns out the real deal killer is former senator, current governor, Corzine—that’s what’s making it close for many of us (like the 60,000 before us last year) to having our exit tickets punched…

  31. burrhog says:

    Help!

    There is a goddamn spider running around my desk.

    He’s really fast and I can’t squish him. He’s creeping me out!

    I thought I had him with Microsoft Press’s six pound “Programing SQL Server” but the mouse sheilded him. Luckily I have more mice.

    I am not a hateful person but I fucking hate spiders.

  32. CraigC says:

    Heh, Wishbone, that was the running gag when I lived in Sacramento. Two hours to Tahoe, two hours to the Bay Area….twenty minutes to Elk Grove….

  33. BoZ says:

    I once killed a spider eleven feet up my living room wall by throwing an eight-ball valve cap at it.

    It’s the coolest thing I’ll ever do.

    When the light’s right, the dent in the plaster and the spider-goo stain look like the Bosnian flag.

    RATKO 4 EVA

  34. I thought I had him with Microsoft Press’s six pound “Programing SQL Server” but the mouse sheilded him. Luckily I have more mice.

    Mice and spiders on your desk?  What, no roaches?

  35. wishbone says:

    When the light’s right, the dent in the plaster and the spider-goo stain look like the Bosnian flag.

    Many girls hanging out at your place, BoZ?

    Just asking…

    However, “Spider-Goo Stain” would be a great rock band name if there were still rock bands.

  36. friend says:

    Because if you ain’t 20 minutes from Ft. Washington, well, you might as well be from f!@#ing nowhere.

  37. friend says:

    BTW…i propose that Jeff should warn the next douchebagsayswhat before plastering his….hahahahahahahahaha nevermind.. i couldn’t even get the rest out with a straight face.

  38. Vladimir says:

    A vote for Kucinich is a vote for soy based animal rights against scandalous burger hegemony.

    Eat and retreat!

  39. Swen Swenson says:

    Never heard of Pennsauken, NJ, but I did find some info on e-Podunk.

    Elsewhere, it sounds like Pennsauken is getting their very own exit off I-295, so you really can get there from here. How you find your way here from there is another question.

  40. lonetown says:

    If this clock could talk, you would get an earful.

    http://farm1.static.flickr.com/181/378758952_bd3e43b4bf_t.jpg

  41. BJTexs says:

    Well, that, and the repulsive proliferation of McDonalds and Disney –”

    You forgot Walmart, Goldstein, and now the entire, all, every part of teh internets is pissed.

    RETAIL BARGAINIST!!

  42. Defense Guy says:

    I feel like I missed a step.  Can someone tell me why I need to circle the end of March on my calendar?

  43. David R. Block says:

    So what happens March 31? Does this mean that I need to get what content I can for my education on the linguistic turn and how the lefties abuse language while I still have time?

    Because I hate deadlines.

Comments are closed.