Sorry. Figured I’d better post something pronto before I was forced off the front page again.
Also: PICTURES OF BRITNEY BREAKING DOWN BELOW THE FOLD!
Admit it. You looked, didn’t you?
I’m embarrassed for you. I truly am.
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Well, it’s not like this is the Gawker.
I was looking forward to whatever witty armadillo image was to be juxtaposed with your caption.
So: -1 point, because after all it was you who started talking about Britney.
But: +2 because you’re sufficiently insulated to not know the correct permutation of B’s, T’s, and Y’s that make up this particular “Britney.”
I just realized I do know the spelling.
Now I feel sick.
I’m bored to death with the whole Spears thing. So she shaved her head and got a tattoo. Big deal. The only way I’m even halfway interested in that news is if she did it after enlisting in the Marine Corps.
You know what Britney needs? A good surging, that’s what.
OUCH! stubbly.
Of course we looked! If it’s from Jeff there’s bound to be some humor in there somewhere.
It’s obvious Britney Spears’ latest antics are some kind of cry for help, as in “Help! I’m already a Has-Been! Notice me!”
HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME.
Because of the Patriarchy.
And, FTR, I admit nothing.
I’M NOT THAT RELEVANT
You disgusting X-Y chromosomal tool of the megatheocorporatocracy! Leave poor, sick Brit alone! She’s got ISSUES, y’know!
Like that fugly plastic wig her mom made her wear while checking into the detox palace.
PATRIARCHIST!
(my collection of Marcotteisms is growing. Can you tell?)
Ohhh . . . . you meant the fold in the page. I was trying to figure out where Britney’s fold is.
And whether or not she is also spindled and mutilated.
Our esteemed host wrote:
Just wanted to see which of the bald ends you had posted.
Time for me to go workout. Chat among yourselves.
Oh. And I corrected the spelling. Don’t want to lose those Google hits!
Here’s the photo yer lookin’ for.
I had Lasek surgery on Friday and only today am I even barely able to look at the computer screen …
gotta say, I’m kinda glad I missed the whole Brittany thing.
I mean, if that’s what is consider more important than Murtha’s great charge to the rear and the people he wants to appease keep showing exactly what terms they consider “reasonable” (quick check of the LATimes and WaPo shows them running the misleading AP boilerplate on the incident that only describes the jihadist as a “gunman” who is against “women’s rights”), then Kooky Kucinich’s attempt to shut down talk radio makes sense.
I mean, MSM’s 24/7 Brit/Anna/Nicole/Paris Bimbo focus is just the kind of intellectual valium Dems want to foist on the citizens so they’ll buy the “Don’t worry, be happy, we’ll take care of you, sign here” mantra.
I looked! I admit it! Hey, I watch car wrecks just like the rest of you…
Damn, I’m glad I let my hair grow out for the winter.
“What is ‘stupid things rednecks do trying to avoid DNA testing, but they still lose their babies in the custody case to even dumber trailer trash,’ Alex?”
No, I didn’t! My momma taught me to be a good boy.
Q: What is the definition of tone-deafness?
A: A blind man listening to a Britney Spears song.
Just look? Hell, I slow down and take cell phone pics. If i have to wait in the traffic I’m not rushing when it’s my turn.
TW:hell16,
Eddie:And anybody that showed up was gonna join Lem Lee in the Hell Of Being Cut To Pieces.
Jack : Hell of being what?
Eddie: Chinese have a lot of Hells.
You can’t fold a computer monitor… you backwards redneck fascist knuckledragging Biblethumpers.
Everyone stops to view a trainwreck.
There was nothing prurient in my mind when I clicked that link and how dare you say otherwise!
Darleen,
I hope your Lasek is all right.
I couldn’t help it, the kids had a half-day of school and and are having problems clearing the “Cherry Pie” level of Guitar Hero.
In short, my brain has melted.
and my kids are totally uncoordinated.
N. O’Brian,
Healing is going according to timetable, thanks for asking! I’m going for a checkup in an hour and having the “band-aid” contact lenses removed.
For all the bother, I’m going to love getting rid of the hassles of contact lenses/glasses.
Darn, Jeffy, you fooled me again.
Oh, well. Be sure to film the ‘dillo this Friday when he dances, ok?
*scratches armpit*
tw: longer69 (I shit you not)
… of course, even better eyesight doesn’t translate into better typing skills, O’Brain.
I wasn’t going to go there. But… wait’ll they get to “Institutionalized.”
TW: press97 all the buttons and strum like a crazy person.
Darleen, I had Lasik a couple of years ago, and love it. I get the “halos” or “stars” from bright colors against a dark background, but that’s it.
Good luck with yours.
Is that the “all I wanted was a Pepsi.” Institutionalizeed by Suicidal Tendencies or some nu rock song by some guy with a speech impediment?
‘cause if it’s not Tendencies, I’m trashing that game right now.
ah what the hell, probably get hit by a bus anyway.
I looked, and now I feel much shame.
Major john
Don’t be ashamed,I think that deep down we are all fascinated by the decline of all that is Hollywood, or those that are famous. Makes us feel a lot better about ourselves….Plus reassures us that celebrities are human too…
Now for some PIE!!!!!!
Yeah, I clicked and I’m damn proud of it. I was also proud the time I clicked on;
https://www.proteinwisdom.com/index.php?/weblog/entry/prediction_5000_hits_from_oliver_willis_alone/
https://www.proteinwisdom.com/index.php?/weblog/entry/ooh_is_that_beer_battered/
I’ve been waiting for three years to see another fat Britney picture link. Obviously my vigil continues.
TODD–
Why should that be reassuring?
Dan
Well it reassures me, cause you know, being so insecure and all….
I most certainly did not!
Cheap shot. Do you always sandbag readers like this who expand your posts because they expect that if you take the trouble to post something, even after the jump, that it might be relevant and interesting?
Explain to me again why I should continue to come here?
You don’t see it?
What a noob. Us actual PW minions can, in fact, see the picture of Bald Britney. You can’t because you haven’t yet bought the secret decoder ring.
Apparently you also can’t see where Jeff wrote “just kidding” after claiming there is no picture. So that probably requires the secret decoder ring too.
Uh, the strudel…?
There’s strudel?
Wasn’t a different picture of a “bald” Britney making the rounds of the intertubes recently?
Not that I clicked on it or anything.
A few more posts like this and you’ll have a high-traffic site once more. “They” will have nothing but love for you then.
kelly–
That was at Wuzzadem’s.
<swallows> Oops. Sorry.
There’s still some pie.
Ooh, look! It’s McGehee’s favorite kind: hair.
Britney,
No, Sweety, I said I got a kick out of people seeing me get balled.
Paris
Hey man, I’m not embarrassed for clicking on the link so I could see pictures of Britney melting down.
Although I will admit I’m not exceptionally “proud” of the fact that my pants were halfway to the floor before the page pulled up and I realized that Jeff had viciously bait and switched me, replacing some sweet Britney pooter shots for a school-marms wrist slap, guilt trip. OK, I get it Mr. Serious Pants, there are more important things going on in the world. After all the multi-culturalists are stealing the signifiers and assessing “authenticity” based on the “group narrative” or some damn thing.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not disputing you, I’m just asking for like 15-20 minutes, in between bouts of serious contemplation about the world, that I can enjoy some nice Britney Spears pooter shots or Anna Nicole Smith refrigirator video without having to feel guilty. I mean all she’s got in her refridgerator is slim-fast, methadone and worchestershire sauce. It’s a wonder she lived as long as she did. Did I say wonder? I meant to say shame.
OBTW Exchange the Slim-Fast for Milwaukee’s Best and the worchestershire sauce for a half-gallon bottle of ketamine and you have my dorm fridge from college.
McGehee, you’re still stuck with the Decoder Ring?
Sheesh, man, the latest technology is the Rovian Nasal Implantâ„¢ now with Windows Vista Upgrade.
Of course, now my nose has to grant a kleenex administrative rights, but, still…..
I can’t install that. It isn’t backward compatible to my nose.
No one should be ashamed.
BECAUSE OF THE SCHAUDENFREUDELICIOUSNESS!!!
dang, no ponies here, either!
You can keep the game. It’s Tendencies…and it’s awesome.
My inner vulture wanted lunch. Lohan isn’t putting out the banquet these days, one must feed where one can…
ah, that soooo explains my allergies this week.
I was hoping to see a picture of Britney next to a broken-down car on the roadside.
Is that so wrong?
There’s a secret decoder ring?
I’ve got to start eating cereal again. I don’t suppose y’all will tell me which cereal the ring’s in?
I don’t know Maggie, my nose was running much faster before the upgrade.
See, those of us with Mac-based implants . . . well, I don’t want to gloat, it’s mean.
Let’s just say – “hands-free” calling ability by June!
(And it’s not that much more expensive – quit whining! Yeah, you thought you could handle the post-nasal drip for the price, see what happens? Although we do sometimes get a funny metallic smell, known as the “synaptic Beach Ball of Death” – much less than, say, Implants with OS9, though.)
I clicked, but I didn’t inhale.
Morton Downey Jr. shaved his head too in a cry for attention. He had the good sense to draw nazi slogans and symbols on his head though and claim he was mugged.
Britney only gets half as many comments as Paul Campos? Give her one more year and it will be Britney who? Want to bet this whole rehab thing was brought on by her realization that her 15 minutes was over five years ago?
Uh, the strudel…?
WTF is this, Hogan’s Heroes?
Der Schtrudel….LeBeau makes the most scrumptious schtrudel……
I got Lasik to get rid of the expense of glasses, only it turns out I need reading glasses which is running me about $100.00 per month. And not one of you fasicsts cares, “Hey Reagan, how bout spreading a little wealth my way!” (Quote from former market investor Steve Dallas).
My reading glasses cost me $1.25 each and I only pay when I need to replace a pair.
McGeehee, I’m breaking ‘em faster than I can buy ‘em. Plus the $1.25 models just aren’t sexxxy!
i think brittney will be okay
She has so much pressuire on her shoulderss and all the people calling her things, itsm so mean, give her a break. Her life isnt easy you know.
Stephanie,
We here at PW (I think I speak for all of us) really do believe that the poor thing ought to be given the space and time to heal. That’s why Jeff created this little trap . . . to show us how shallow we are when we take delight in another’s misery, even if she’s a wealthy, untalented celebrity ninny.
Thanks for your input.