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The “if my sixth Pimm’s and ginger ale were a Lionel Richie song” post (or, postscript to “All Night Long (All Night)")

If my sixth Pimm’s and ginger ale were a Lionel Richie song, it would be called, “Damn, That’s Some Tasty Limey Shit!”—and it would peak at number twenty-four on the Billboard Pop Charts.  Unless, of course, Diana Ross agreed to sing it as a duet—and a Brooke Shields lookalike flashed a bit of berry-brown nipple in the video. 

Then, it’d be number one with a bullet, baby!

22 Replies to “The “if my sixth Pimm’s and ginger ale were a Lionel Richie song” post (or, postscript to “All Night Long (All Night)")”

  1. Rich at Hurlburt says:

    Mmmm…. Pimms.  It really should be with Coke though dude.  And lot’s of Fruit.  If ou go for that kind of thing.  Me… I like to imagine I am back at Oxford laughing at all the American High School freaks spending Daddy’s money.

    Still… I tag another reason why I like hanging out here with you Jeff.

  2. ed says:

    Hmmmm.

    Dunno about Brooke Shields but I’m sure willing to flash some nipple.

    Good luck sleeping with THAT image in your head!

    smile

  3. Requiem for Jeff says:

    Do not go gentle into that good night

    Wank, wank against the dying of the light

    And slap some people with your cock on the way out.

    That’ll show those dirty peace creeps.

  4. Major John says:

    I think that last troll needs a drink…

  5. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Either that, or some COCK!

  6. gahrie says:

    OMG..I’m having an 80’s flashback…no one mention cargo pants please!!!!

    Oh shit…..I just did it…..

  7. happyfeet says:

    Grown Iraqi men get misty-eyed by the mere mention of his name. ”I love Lionel Richie,” they say. Iraqis who do not understand a word of English can sing an entire Lionel Richie song.

    Yes, that’s it, mock away Mr. Goldstein… let’s just throw a little more blasphemy on the fire.

    tell me how to win your heart

    for I haven’t got a clue..

  8. JWebb says:

    “You aren’t “entitled” to serious engagement just because you squeeze out a little rhetorical turd and then arrange it in a nice neat pile in the middle of a thread.” – Jeff Goldstein

    Please let me know where I can order a set of PW Coffee Mugs with that quote on it. Or T-shirts even. 

    tw = put24. Sure, put two dozen on my Visa. I have many relatives to gift.

  9. Tman says:

    I have this friend in his late twenties who for some reason cannot get enough of the Toto song “I Bless the Rains Down In Africa” (which is probably the single most poignant example of what a complete fucking disaster the 80’s music scene was -yes, I know minus certain highlights-but come on, the 80’s sucked ass musically) and he didn’t believe me when I told him just awful and disturbing the video to this particular song is.

    Enter the wonder of YouTube.

    Everybody sing, everybody dance,

    lose yourself in wild romance,

    we’re going to….party……

    Karamu….. fiesta……forever

  10. CraigC says:

    A little song

    A little dance

    A little seltzer down your pants

  11. alphie says:

    My sixth Pimm’s and ginger ale turned into this limey tune.

    I thought: Typical drunken Lefty bias?

    But Tom Jones could kick Lionel Ritchie’s ass, so a wash, I guess.

  12. Sean M. says:

    Hello?  Is it me you’re looking for?

  13. Carin says:

    How many Pimms until you’re dancing on the ceiling?

  14. Bender Bending Rodriguez says:

    My sixth Pimm’s and ginger ale turned into this limey tune.

    English are Limeys.  TJones is Welsh.  Welsh are not Limeys.  They are useless babbling pasty-eating Stereophonics-listening unemployed tin-diggers.  Jebus, can’t you lefties get anything correct ever?

  15. Nanonymous says:

    “You aren’t “entitled” to serious engagement just because you squeeze out a little rhetorical turd and then arrange it in a nice neat pile in the middle of a thread.” – Jeff Goldstein

    Please let me know where I can order a set of PW Coffee Mugs with that quote on it. Or T-shirts even. 

    Put me down for one of those coffee mugs – my first in what I hope will be a long series of fine Protein Wisdom products.

  16. mojo says:

    I just found out it’s actually illegal to shoot clowns in Columbia.

    I know. I couldn’t believe it either.

    SB: today22

  17. Bender Bending Rodriguez says:

    They are useless babbling pasty-eating Stereophonics-listening unemployed tin-diggers.

    OK, the pasty-eating and tin-digging are really Cornish, but there aren’t enough slurs against the Welsh (usually just “Welsh” is considered sufficient), and we can pad it out with slurs against other westcountry bastards.

  18. MarkD says:

    I’ll buy a PW Greatest Hits T Shirt.  Size L. 

    Tim Blair has “beclowned.” Frank J has “Blended Puppies.”

    What phrase is most closely associated with Jeff?  I apologize for being off-topic.

  19. Jim in KC says:

    Tman

    The 80s sucked ass musically only in terms of pop music.  Otherwise, it was an outstanding decade, far better than the 70s.  But for a musical decade that really sucked, it’s hard to beat the 90s.  All the new bands were either stupid or unmusical, and all the good bands faded away or sold out.

    That damn Toto song for some reason is in heavy rotation on the Jack station here in KC.  I must hear it twice a day, and it’s enough to make me want to shoot a clown.  Which is also illegal in the US, I understand.

  20. Pablo says:

    What phrase is most closely associated with Jeff?

    I think you’d have to go with this.

    BECAUSE OF THE MARKETING!

  21. CockLikeAHorse says:

    Dude Brick House was a cool song.  What is it about some artists who can make cool music while in groups but turn ultra-gay the minute they go solo (Phil Collins also comes to mind—other candidates?  Sting perhaps?)

  22. happyfeet says:

    that guy from Chicago did that too

Comments are closed.