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I’ll drink to that!

The Rocky Mountain News editorial writers wax (quasi) libertarian in response to “threats by the federal Alcohol Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau to take legal action against Boston Red Sox pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka because of a beer commercial he made in his native Japan”:

It’s neither illegal, unusual nor at odds with baseball labor agreements for foreign players to sign commercial endorsements with alcohol distributors . . . so long as the ads are aired only in overseas markets.

But ball players can’t promote demon rum here in the states. And federal regulations prohibit showing alcohol consumption on network TV. […]

So an endorsement deal that “Dice-K” had with Asahi beer while he played for the Seibu Lions has U.S. alcohol cops on the warpath.

In the newest ad, Matsuzaka – who has not thrown a big league pitch – dons his Red Sox uniform and then chugs an Asahi Super Dry beer while in street clothes. The feds claim this deal violates U.S. law, though the commercial will never be aired on TV in the States – only on YouTube, of course.

Since Major League Baseball International has found nothing wrong with the ad, the bureaucrats should chill. With a cold one, no less.

Good thing for the editorial writers that they aren’t ballplayers, eh?—else that last line would almost certainly constitute the promotion of alcohol consumption.

And the last thing the RMN wants is to wake one morning to the sight of a recently-unretired and bulked up Janet Reno decked out in body armor, black fishnets, and her spiked-heel stomping boots, ready to lead a heavily-armed federal strike force into the lobby of their Colorado headquarters. 

You know, for the children™…

21 Replies to “I’ll drink to that!”

  1. Dan Collins says:

    I don’t see how he can don his Red Sox uni and then chug the beer in street clothes.

  2. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Two different actions he takes in the commercial?  Separate scenes?

    Who are you, alphie?

  3. Dan Collins says:

    I think they got their doffing and donning mixed up.  Dumbasses.

  4. Dan Collins says:

    And if you think I’m making too big a deal out of it, consider Doffy Osmond.

  5. Molyuk says:

    Garbage like this fuels my libertarian anger at government. Since when do the Federales have jurisdiction over Japanese tv? Why is it even illegal to drink a beer while wearing an MLB uniform? Whom does that protect?

  6. Pablo says:

    I don’t see how he can don his Red Sox uni and then chug the beer in street clothes.

    He’s that good!

  7. McGehee says:

    Am I the only one who imagines that “don” and “doff” in that sense are modifications of the words “on” and “off?”

    “…and all that night he was Donner and Doffer.”

  8. Dan Collins says:

    I think that, too, McGehee.

  9. Dan Collins says:

    I mean, c’mon.  It’s ludicrous, anyway.  Everybody knows that baseball players don’t drink.

  10. mojo says:

    ”…federal regulations prohibit showing alcohol consumption on network TV.”

    Huh? That’s GOTTA be thew FCC. Hey, guys – what about every bar scene ever put on TV? Not to even open the can of ugly worms called “What constitutes ‘Network TV’ these days?

    SB: saw13

    vidi well, little brother

  11. Tai Chi Wawa says:

    Quaffing and doffing often go together.

  12. Major John says:

    I think we have a federal agency that is obviously all caught up on its work.  If this is all they have left to do, it’s time for some downsizing…

  13. Mikey NTH says:

    I second mojo

    “What’s goin’ on, Mr. Petersen?”

    “No Woody, it’s what’s goin’ in Mr. Petersen.  Get me a beer.”

  14. Robert says:

    The nanny state has no time for the formality of international borders! The nanny state must protect the children. Even the children not, technically, under its protection.

    TW: head75. That seems an excessive price; I’m sure the market rate is lower.

  15. SweepTheLegJohnny says:

    the sight of a recently-unretired and bulked up Janet Reno decked out in body armor, black fishnets, and her spiked-heel stomping boots

    *shudder*

    All of my somewhat limited brain power is being dedicated to wiping that visual out of my head.

  16. All of my somewhat limited brain power is being dedicated to wiping that visual out of my head.

    A phrase we used to use at work: “you can’t claw out your mind’s eye”. We stopped using it when we realized that, yes, with chopsticks and sufficient determination, you can.

  17. TODD says:

    MMMMMMMMM Janet Reno….

    I do miss “Janet Reno’s House Party”……

  18. McGehee says:

    Quaffing and doffing often go together.

    When I open my strip joint, I’m calling it “The Quaff & Doff.”

  19. Jim in KC says:

    When I open my strip joint, I’m calling it “The Quaff & Doff.”

    Add “A Gentlemen’s Joint” and I think you’ve really got something there.

  20. LagunaDave says:

    This whole story was misreported.

    The Boston Herald did a piece on the local angle between the Red Sox and MLB with this ad.  In the last paragraph, they called a media relations guy and quoted him accurately reciting the established case law concerning alcohol advertisements.

    From the quote, it is obvious the Fed had never seen the actual ad, and he makes no mention of the fact that it is Japanese and will air in a foreign country, so it’s not clear he was aware of that fact. 

    What is clear is that the only reason anybody from the government knew about the ad at all was because a reporter called to ask for a comment about it.  They are not “going after” anybody.

    From the relevant laws and regulations, it is clear that they only apply to advertisments for beer sold or manufactured in the US, and there is no liability for anyone who appears in such an ad – the penalty for violation is that they will not approve the labeling of the product so it can be legally sold.

    Total. Red. Herring.

  21. Pablo says:

    This whole story was misreported.

    No! Way! In America?

    Another illusion shattered. *snif*

Comments are closed.