News Presenter:  So, we turn now once again to Bob Robertson, camped outside the Edwards compound.  Bob?

Reporter: Hi, Tom.

News Presenter: Do you have anything new to report from the Edwards campaign on the fate of the Pwn3dagon 2?

Reporter: We’re still waiting for a definitive announcement from an Edwards spokesperson regarding the fate of the two hostages.

News Presenter:  The what?  Bob, did I hear you correctly?

Reporter:  Tom?  I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.

News Presenter:  Uh, Bob . . . did you call the women “hostages”?

Reporter:  Well, yes I did, Tom.  Let me explain why.  As I get my cameraman to pan over this way, you’ll see that there’s a laundry basket that’s been turned into a makeshift shrine for the Pwn3dagon 2.  Netroots supporters from all over the country are arriving here to express their support for these women.  They’ve been lighting candles and singing, and having drum circles and such.

News Presenter:  Yes, but . . .

Reporter: Oh, yeah.  Sorry.  These young people have been explaining how they’re hostages . . .

News Presenter:  They’re not being held hostage by Edwards’ . . .

Reporter:  No, no!  Hahaha!  They’re being held hostage by the Patriarchy.

News Presenter:  The Patriarchy?  Could you . . .

Reporter:  Well, as I understand it the Patriarchy is a group of bullying bloggers who hate women.  The folks gathered here say that this never would have happened had not the bloggers in question been women.  Here’s one now . . . .  Excuse me miss, but what’s all this about?

Womyn:  What did you call me you f***ing *******? 

Reporter:  I’m sorry, I just . . .

Womyn:  Those right-wing bastards just want to cut them down because they’re womyn who’ve made good!  And because of their success, they’re just eaten up inside because they’ll NEVER EVER be important bloggers for a Presidential candidate, and they have the temerity to be womyn!

Reporter:  So, there you have it, Tom.

News Presenter:  Thanks, Bob.  Talk to you later.

Reporter:  I’ll be right here.

News Presenter:  So, that’s the story, folks.  It appears that the Pwn3dagon 2 are being held hostage by a group of far-right bloggers who hate women who call themselves the Patriarchy.  This is a very interesting development, and we’ll be tracking it throughout the day, so be sure to stay right here with us.