Last week, the wife and I spent five days in an alternate universe.  We attended the fifth annual Feat Fan Excursion, or as Paul Barrere, the gifted guitar player for Little Feat calls it, “Feat Camp.” It was in the spectacular setting of Negril, on the western end of the island of Jamaica.  And trust me, Jamaica is one of the few places in the world where this little party could have taken place.  Just to give you a sense of the setting, I was told by more than one Jamaican that the unofficial state motto is, “Don’t drink and drive, smoke and fly.” The day we arrived by courtesy van from the airport, we were ushered into the main reception area of the Grand Lido resort, where the guests were immediately handed mimosas.  As we were being briefed on the facilities and the agenda for our stay, I caught a faint whiff of a familiar, pungent scent.  And I don’t mean patchouli.  Remember, this was not some little mom-and-pop operation.  The Lido is one of the biggest and most prominent resorts on the island.  Jamaica truly is another world.  The Lido is an all-inclusive resort, meaning that everything is included in the price of the package, so you can wander through the five restaurants, three pools, and innumerable bars, order whatever you like, and wander out.  You want one of everything on the menu?  No problem, mon.  Add in the perfect air and ocean temperatures, the, um, bohemian atmosphere, and the really cool band we had at our get-together, and after a while I developed a standard comeback for the inevitable “How ya doin?”:  “I’ll let you know when it starts to suck.” Either that or, “Ain’t had enough fun yet.”

There was some actual hard news that came out of this little convocation, so in order to preserve what little journalistic credibility I have, a full disclosure is in order.  I am and have been a huge Feat fan since 1971.  For reasons unknown, although I’d like to think that our merry little band of freaks in College Park had something to do with it, a Feat cult appeared early on in Maryland, and grew to the point that it’s still probably their biggest stronghold.  They recorded Feats Don’t Fail Me Now and Live at the Ram’s Head there.  I was third row center for the show at Lisner Auditorium that became Waiting For Columbus.  Hell, Lowell George died at the Key Bridge Marriott.  Fat man in the bathtub, indeed.  Notwithstanding all that, I call ‘em as I see ‘em.  And as an added bonus (is that redundant?), I quit drinking nine months ago.  One of the advantages of sobriety is that you can actually remember stuff.  It’s a wonderful thing.

And now, the nort spews.  The Little Feat tour manager is a guy named Denny Jones.  He’s quite a character.  He has a baseball cap with the acronym “HMFIC” that he never takes off.  I was talking with him one day, and he told me that that night’s event was called “Little Feat Lounge.” He wouldn’t tell me what it was, but insisted that I didn’t want to miss it, and that I should get there early because once people were in, the doors would be closed.  At that point, I had already made some contacts with the crew and with the inner circle of fans who run the websites, so I nosed around a bit.  The consensus was that it would be a listening party for the CD that was currently in the works.  The cognoscenti had known about the project for a couple of years, so the speculation was that the surprise might be an appearance by a certain person whom I can’t name here.  More on that later.

At the appointed time that evening, we gathered in a smallish conference room above the Japanese restaurant that was just off the central resort area.  As with every event, there was a bar set up in one corner of the room.  The energy level from the anticipation was pegging the meters.  In other words, there was quite a buzz in the room.  I say, there was quite a buzz in the room.  Thass a joke, son!  That aspect of it was pretty funny.  It was like everyone was waiting to see who the first person to do it would be.  Within seconds of the first faint whiff, small fires of vegetation were breaking out at every table.  I was thinking, man, if you haven’t figured out yet that you can do anything you want in Jamaica, you haven’t been paying attention.  But I repeat myself.  A person with a program for reversing short-term memory loss could have made a fortune there.  If he could get his clients to remember to pay him.

Finally, the door was closed, and Bill Payne walked to the mike that was set up at the front of the room.  He explained that this was indeed a listening party, and an exclusive one, at that.  No one besides the people involved had heard the final mix yet.  He talked about the genesis of the project, the difficulties involved in getting it done, and anything you’d want to know about it.  The key was getting the players that they wanted.  Unfortunately, I can’t report a lot of the details due to legal considerations.  The concept behind the CD was to bring in guest artists to re-interpret Little Feat material with the band, as well as some cover songs, with the focus on vocals, although some of them contributed instrumental tracks as well.  But in today’s music world, you can’t just do something.  There are management companies and record labels to deal with, releases to be signed, etc., etc.  The project is being executive produced, bankrolled, and played on by one of the biggest names in entertainment.  That would be the person that people were hoping would fly in (hint, hint) for the event.  He didn’t, and there’s a very funny inside joke about why he may not have attended, but it would give away his identity to tell it.  In any case, the CD will be on a major label with full backing, a major marketing campaign, the whole nine yards.

Bill talked about each cut before playing it on the killer sound system they had set up.  He explained the whos, whats, and wheres, and told some funny stories about the things that happened on the way to getting each song done.  The CD itself kicks ass.  (That’s a technical term used by music reviewers.) Yes, it’s essentially a glorified greatest hits package.  You know the songs.  “Fat Man,” “Oh Atlanta,” “Dixie Chicken,” et al.  But, and this is a big but, it has modern production values, and the players who were brought in, heavy hitters all, made each song their own. As I said, there are also some interesting cover songs, including a killer version of “See You Later, Alligator,” and the playing and singing is spectacular.  I’ll admit it, I sat there the whole time with a shit-eating grin on my face.  Besides, I don’t begrudge Feat their opportunity to make some money.  For way too long they’ve been the Phil Mickelson of rock ‘n roll.  Not an exact analogy, I know.  While Phil was busy not winning majors, he made an awful lot of money, but you get the idea.

No matter what they do, this CD will probably not find a mass audience, but I think it will do well for them.  It will certainly make the alternative charts, but where it should really do well is on the country charts.  There are two or three songs that can make it there, especially the old Feat favorite that’s been reinterpreted by a certain country superstar.  I don’t want to dismiss the chances of making the rock charts, though.  There’s one cut that features a long-time singer-songwriter who resides in the northern part of the country that flat-out rocks.