—No, I didn’t forget. And in fact, the little guy swore up and down that this week that he’d finally put down the Cheddar Goldfish, change out of his sweats, and represent the mambo for you all. Only problem is, I can’t seem to find him anywhere—though I will say that the stack of Jugs magazines soaking in bongwater from an upset inverted pyrex water hookah on the kitchen table—when coupled with the 3” diameter tunnel at the end of a small, halting trail leading to the decorative flower at the center of my leftover Baskin Robbins ice cream birthday cake—seems like as good a place as any to begin some amateur skip tracing.
— That is, if one were so inclined. Me, I’d rather just wait until the little bastard comes to at the bottom of his cake hole, only to find I’ve shoved him back into the freezer with nothing but a near-empty flask of Bushmills and the tiny paisley poncho I took off one of my old Jerry Garcia action figures.
Because if that doesn’t chap his ass, nothing will.
http://www.worth1000.com/view.asp?entry=353779&display=photoshop
Yeah sure it’s all innocent fun. I know better.
It’s a hard man, that can chap an armadillos ass.
You would squander Bushmills on an Armadillo? Even one you were fond of. Well, I hope it wasn’t Black Bush, because before my pancreas ran up the tricolor and surrendered, that was my anaesthetic of choice.
BTW, I hope you all realise, especially you Dan, that Bushmills is a Protestant whiskey distilled in the Sux Kynties.. None of your watered down fenian rubbish.
So you been duck hunting lately?
Maybe the little guy can get lucky while he’s in there……….
A 1 lb duck? The poor little thing was too young to be out on its own. Was probably just overtaken by a sudden nap.
I’d leave him in there ‘til noon or so, and then take him curling.
Armadillo: <snore> “Quack, damn you.” <snore>
Uh, is it normal in Florida to leave undressed ducks in the refrigerator for a couple of days?
And I realize undressed ducks is a hanging curve for all the wags in the audience, but I don’t know what else to call it for the hunters.
furriskey,
I’m very ecumenical when it comes to whiskies. Lagavulin is likely a protestant beverage. I wouldn’t be surprised that it was brewed by Covenanters, and it is one of the finest commercial scotches, I daresay. I admit, I’ll drink Glenmorangie in a pinch.
Well, for that matter, I’ll drink Jameson, or Wild Turkey or Jack Daniels sour mash. I understand from a post at Coalition of the Swilling from last week that the Pakistanis are gearing up to begin marketing a 20-year-old Scotch, which, due to an amazing technological breakthrough, they can produce in a mere six months. Now, I don’t imagine that the producers are fundamentalist Muslims, but I doubt that they’re C of E.
At my local liquor store, I can’t find anything expressly endorsed by the Vatican, but various orders of monks and other religious still produce some delightful beverages, in spite of their dwindling numbers, thus putting paid to the slanders regarding their parasitism on secular society.
The Dalkey Archive meets the North West Frontier!
Pakistani Scotch? Were I living on one of those tiny Scottish isles, I’d declare war.
Then hope I’m not nuked.
Pakistani Scotch? April Fools day came early this year.
The distillery wouldn’t last six days. You’d have better luck printing Bibles.
I suppose if they remember to give the local mullah and his boys a nice donation for, ah “missionary outreach”, they’ll be fine.
Being mindful of said mullah’s position on said outreach, of course…
Are you sure the little fella is in the freezer? A couple weeks back we saw a ‘dillo trying to hitch south out of Kansas. I figured with those Sansabelts and white patent leather shoes it might be.. But hey, every town in Kansas has a disco club.