Were I to buy a kangaroo,
I’d keep it chained to my
wrist like a big fuzzy briefcase
so that people could stop & point
and say, “doesn’t that kangaroo
look so cute, standing there
holding that guy’s credit cards?”
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Recent Comments
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My local grocer has a sign up announcing that they have kangaroo meat for sale. I plan to try it next week. So the answer is: at my local grocer.
Won’t that get your credit cards all greasy?
If you were to buy a kangaroo,
upon your other wrist you too
would have a similar chain attached
but to a roo-poo scooper.
How can you go wrong with a pet with a pocket?
I’ll bet she’s never been called that before…
Assuming, of course, anybody ever hold’s that guy’s credit cards…since the WalMart incident, that is.
I have one of those, although it’s chain is looped and welded around my ankle. Oddly enough my kangaroo is made of iron and spherically shaped, … and yells alot, speaking of which, I have to go now!
It’s good to see that you finally got out of bed, you lazy bastard – even taking into account the time difference..
What are you doing, saving up for the Super Bore?
And kangaroos are pretty cool if you can keep them from hopping away until you’re done. But don’t ever give them your credit cards. You might as well give those cards to my wife (not a good idea).
And, a little OT, is Kate Beckinsale hot or what? The rubber pants put me all the way over the edge…
Just one more little bit of OT –
Why does my son have to watch shows with 14 year old girls who look better than Gisselle Bun-what’s-her-name?
I have to either leave the room or shoot myself. Thank God I don’t have a 13 year old daughter. I would have to put myself in jail when she brought her friends home.
“Hey Grandpa, you’re so fine…” I really do miss the 70’s, when I still had teeth, and didn’t weigh anywhere near 200 pounds.
TW: her69? Jeff, you are diabolical!
haha, priceless, Jeff.
Kangaroos as briefcases… hmm…
Man, them jumping rat-things creep me out.
It’s cute until you study the dark underbelly of the growing Kangaroo slave trade.
Are you just Mojo, or are you the Mad Mojo?
BTW, I’m watching the new(est) King Kong, and he looks about as real as my G-5. But hey! Who wouldn’t kill to see Jack f’n Black in another really stupid movie?
But, you know, I have to admit that Kong makesw some really great sounds (I almost left the “Y” in that word – just like I left the “W” on “makes)).
Were I to buy a kangaroo
I’d be arrested, yes it’s true
You’d see me on the news report
Being arraigned in kangaroo court.
I’d like to have a briefcase handcuffed to my wrist.
My soup all
tastes like kangaroo
will I be
tasting like it too?
the little old kangaroo man whistles
small and wee
and the other bloke mutters
strewth, mate, you’d bloody do better with a piccolo
and touches thumb and ring finger to his lips
screeeeeeeeee….
when the stampede ends
the little old kangaroo man blinks
shakes his head as
the EMTs work
Damn you, Lost Dog, for a moment there I thought you were saying you were going to kill Jack Black so no-one would ever have to see him in any more of his imbecilic movies again.
Don’t EVER get my hopes up like that again.
well, and some of us just have a uterus for that kind of thing. right, MayBee? ;D
You know, Phil, if I ever run into him, I probably will kill him.
I have a seven year old son, and have probably seen “School Of Rock” roughly seven hundred times.
The guy gives me asthma attacks, and I don’t even have asthma.
TW: maybe14 Did you mean “maybee14”?
And, you know, it’s way after midnight, and although all these girls on TV are making excellent noises, why do they still have their clothes on?
Jeebus. I’m over two hundred pounds, have no teeth, and wonder where the 60’s and 70’s went. Could this be an obsession? How did this happen to me? Aren’t real rock stars supposed to die at 27?
Well, since I was 27, it’s all been Ad Lib…
TW: length26? Could you please not make it so hard, Jeff?
As I was walking up the stair
I met a kangaroo who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today.
I wish, I wish he’d stay away.
(sry HM)
Some people .
Dance cheek to cheek
Some people should check what they type in links better
Ha!
Oh, the stories we could tell about the things we’ve accidentally pulled out of our uteri while trying to find the car keys.
“Mad? They called Einstein mad, you know!”
“No they didn’t.”
“Well, they would have if he’d carried on this way.”
SB: take85
CUT!
If I bought a kangaroo,
I promise to feed him Irish stew.
And why do Irish stew? says you.
If a roo drank your Black & Tan, you would too…
LOL, yeah, “oops, that’s not a pen!”
I never saw a kangaroo
I never hope to see one
But I can tell you anyhoo
I’d rather see than be one.
Yes, that was shamelessly lifted.
Watch me wallabys feed mate.
Watch me wallabys feed.
They’re a dangerous breed mate.
So watch me wallabys feed.
Altogether now!
Tie me kangaroo down sport,
tie me kangaroo down.
Tie me kangaroo down sport,
tie me kangaroo down.
Keep me cockatoo cool, Curl,
keep me cockatoo cool.
Don’t go acting the fool, Curl,
just keep me cockatoo cool.
Altogether now!
Take me koala back, Jack,
take me koala back.
He lives somewhere out on the track, Mac,
so take me koala back.
Altogether now!
Let me Abos go loose, Lou, *
let me Abos go loose.
They’re of no further use, Lou,
so let me Abos go loose.
Altogether now!
Mind me platypus duck, Bill,
mind me platypus duck.
Don’t let him go running amok, Bill,
mind me platypus duck.
Altogether now!
Play your digeridoo, Blue,
play your digeridoo.
Keep playing ‘til I shoot thro’ Blue,
play your digerydoo.
Altogether now!
Tan me hide when I’m dead, Fred,
tan me hide when I’m dead.
So we tanned his hide when he died Clyde,
(Spoken) And that’s it hanging on the shed.
Altogether now!
© 1960 Castle Music Pty, Ltd.
Words and music by Rolf Harris
There once was a ‘roo from Nantucket…