Overheard in the parking lot of the Good Times Hamburgers off exit 229 in Brighton, 12:24 PM
First guy in Chevron hat: ”Two double guacamole burgers? And large fries? That’s like a major coronary wrapped in wax paper, big guy.”
Second guy in Chevron hat: “Maybe so. But at least when they do the autopsy they won’t find any kind of pita and alfalfa sprout wrap in my stomach.”
Second guy in Chevron hat: “Which is fine with me, because that’s exactly the kind of thing that’ll keep you off Jesus’s softball team.”
Other approved menu items on the team include Coney Island chili dogs, homemade onion rings, and fried shrimp and oyster po-boys. Sign me up for centerfield–limited range, but a rifle for an arm. And a big stick…
Philly Cheese Steak?
Last night I was on a plane and when the stewardess was handing out the peanut-free crackers at crusing altitude her cell phone went off.
I want peanuts before I die.
Get your team sweatshirt today.
No comment necessary.
Sorry, Tai, but the soccer one clearly proves those statues are fakes.
People who play soccer make the baby Jesus cry.
The golf one is creeping me out.
Have you even seen a hockey game when Jesus was checking? He’s an enforcer, that’s for sure.
Is that Jesus, as in the Bible, or Jesus as in Hey Zeus?
I just want to know who I’m playing for.
I had some buddies in college who were on the rugby team. They were always singing some song about how Jesus can’t play rugby. Tai just proved they were right.
Eat “a robust lunch”.
Remember, the only reason that the Vince Foster suicide got thoroughtly investigated is because the coroner noted that “he had eaten a robust lunch” which is uncharacteristic of a victim of fatal fret.
So if you show up dead with a gun in your hand, eating a robust lunch could mean the difference between murder and suicide….
But it has inspired me to a new phrase to express major exasperation: “Jesus in neon plaid pantaloons!”
Though “Jesus on a jet ski” remains my favorite.
Gray–
C’mon. Hillary’s not such a bitch that she wouldn’t allow him a last meal. Bwahahahaha!
If the sea was vodka and I was a duck,
I would swim to the bottom and never come up,
Since the sea is not vodka and I’m not a duck,
Why don’t you bastards just shut the fuck up.
To be fair, I think Jesus would allow a vegan on the team. He’d just ask the dude to play catcher and bunt each time up to the plate.
Did not know Jesus was a black belt.
When He drove the merchants from the temple, it wasn’t really with a whip.
It was nunchuks.
And that, my friends, is how nuns got their name.
No no. He drove them from the temple in a Fury.
I guess the Accord, while big enough for him and the apostles, wasn’t big enough for him and all the merchants…
I once bought a brick of tofu out of curiosity and I gotta admit that thought crossed my mind when I tasted it (both that it would kill me and it’d be found!).
I flushed the rest of the brick and burned the label so even the garbagemen wouldn’t know…
Tofu, done right, can be quite yummy.
Like, say, in Saag, or in a jungle curry.
I’ve seen people grill it and eat it on a sandwich. But then, these are the same kinds of people who would turn down a Twix Bar for a nice shiny apple!
Suckers.
I love tofu in miso soup. I was gonna try to make some (first time evar! and if RTO saw this he would fall over. I don’t cook)but I haven’t been able to find the paste for it yet. because of course, the easy to get to oriental market had to be closed for remodeling the other day. anyhoo,usually tofu has to be with something else.
Well, okay Maggie, I confess to having ingested those little white cubes in Miso soup and not being displeased by the taste (but I’d still not want Illya Kuryakin to find it in my dead stomach during the autopsy).
That may be, but when He returns as King, I am sure He’ll be driving at least a Mercedes…
Jesus can really surf. Sick dude.
Uh-uh.
Maggie,
If you truly don’t cook, you can buy the miso soup in packages, but the homemade is better. We buy the miso paste in one lb packages (and soy sauce by the gallon…)
I read somewhere that the nori (dried seaweed) is rich in iodine, and is possibly one of the reasons the Japanese have the highest life expectancy of any country. It sure can’t be the sodium in miso soup.
TW: wife35 – not in a while… Unless it means wife number 35, in which case I’ve got 34 to go.
I’ve had the packaged stuff before, and it was a little too salty even for me. I found a place today and got some miso paste and tofu. the recipe i have doesn’t include nori, though I may try to add some, or find a recipe that does (I’m using a cookbook written for people that don’t’ cook. I’m trying to expand my horizons here while RTO is gone.)