Once upon a time, there lived a plodding tortoise and an excitable hare.
Now, as it happens, the two parties didn’t know each other very well—running, as they did, in different social circles—nor did they have occasion to interact in any truly substantive way, though both lived to be quite long in the tooth.
Consequently, the two never seriously debated, and so they never raced—meaning that the wisdom of a slow and steady “staying of the course,” juxtaposed against a rash, almost apoplectic hopping from position to position, was lost on a generation of fluffy, twitchy-nosed elites who, it turns out, could have really benefitted from having that particular advice driven like a railroad spike into their soft pink skulls.
~ finis ~
Man, its gonna take more than a fable to pull this one out, brother.
If we’re talking 10, 20 fables, we might be getting warmer.
Especially if the part of the apoplectic hare is played by a drunken armadillo.
I smell a metaphor in there somewhere.
3 , 2 , 1 ………… this shouldn’t take long .
I never metaphor I didn’t like.
I hereby retract and denounce my suspicion that Jeff Goldstein is really a pseudonym for Joe Biden.
The story is short and to the point.
It makes sense.
Q.E.D. Jeff Goldstein is not Joe Biden.
Are you referring to Hugh Hewitt as the slow plodding tortise and Andrew Sullivan as the excitable hare?
Chuck Hagel and Hillary Clinton: Both hares?
I’d consider voting for Hagel over Clinton.
I’d consider voting Libertarian over either.
“the wisdom of a slow and steady “staying of the course,†juxtaposed against a rash, almost apoplectic hopping from position to position, was lost on a generation of fluffy, twitchy-nosed elitesâ€Â
Yeah sure…
Weak-kneed, shifty defeatocrats: pinko pacifist types
vs. rock-steady Evangelical shipmen of Pauline persuasion
That would be all cool and dandy as they say in Surrey if only it were true!
Wake up comrade Jeff: even Richard Perl, Ken Cakewalk Adelman and Scooter Libby have said publically that “staying the course†was just a bad shtick . . .
Find it strange that you’re appealing to such folks for authority, Doc?
Because I find the irony delicious—even without a nice dollop of your usual rhetorical whipped topping.
“Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii, Dr. Nick!”
</Simpsons reference>
Er, I mean, Vic.
Well, how about Boopsie from Doonesbury?
Gates doesn’t seem to care for this latest hare-brained ploy.
Spikes?! Aiiiieeeee!
And the moral of the story is :
The rabbit might die if the turtle doesn’t pull out.
Wait. Is this about Iraq?
ANIMALIST!!!!!!
Mr. Goldstein, I must conclude from your history that the rabbit in your fable has something to do with John Edwards.
Who said anything about a rabbit?
Did you ever get an ingrown hare?
I hate when that happens.
Eh? I thought the rabbit attacked Carter.
Musta meant Gary Hart , probably a typo .
Enough with rabbits, let’s talk about that little armored one….
The doctor is back?
Hey, Doc. Happy Friday. Apparently you haven’t been to rehab yet.
Oh well. Not my problem.
Dr. Bozo de Nash Neopolitan
“Find it strange that you’re appealing to such folks for authority, Doc?
Because I find the irony delicious…â€Â
Well…err…I guess it’s true what the man said back in march 2003: miraculous stuff happens!
Praise be to Yahweh, Zoroaster, Allah and other Asiatic divinities
Hey, I thought you said this was going to be fiction.
TW: That figures.
So what the fuck do you want, you reprobate? Hot and lubed hare-on-tortoise action? Mebbe some ball gaggage? Hot wax and needle play? Why not just get it out there, ya pervy degenerate puke.
And make the video available.
For, y’know, research.
To further he debate and…stuff.
*cough*
Hahaha! Then all the war supporters you named after that were jewish!
Can we at least defeat the mussulmen before you start sectarian violence over here?
I don’t think their soft pink spikes are going to benifit anyone.
Wait…what did you say?
“fluffy, twitchy nosed”
Now I will never be able to think of Michelle again without seeing a pair of sad little red eyes.
Well, but, uh, they’re Zionists, aren’t they? That means they’re evangelical jooooz.
Do you think this fable is where the phrase “wild hare up their ass” originated? Seems frightfully suspicious if not apropos.